Everything Changes - 10. Family

Family:

Dustin stood in the foyer with his mouth hanging open with tears trickling down his face. Alex rushed to his side as quickly as his crutches could carry him putting his arm around Dustin. “Dustin, it’s okay man, we are all here for you.” Alex rubbed Dustin’s back soothingly, “Oh, I’m Alex by the way.”

A faint smile appeared on Dustin’s face, “Thanks, I really appreciate you guys waiting up for us to get home. I’m sorry for crying like a baby.” Dustin wiped his face and sniffled.

Alex loosed his hug and took Dustin’s hand while hobbling with his crutches, “Come on man, let’s go in here.” Alex said leading the way into the living room. Sitting down on the couch he tugged Dustin’s hand to get him to sit down beside him. Dustin was nervous having so many new people around him, but he realized they all cared about him even though this was the first time they had met, other than Aaron.

Aaron walked into the room and smiled at how Alex had taken to Dustin. “Dustin I placed your things in your room, Alex can show you it after we all you get to know one another. We’re having a welcome to the family party tomorrow Son.” Aaron smiled at Dustin, “I’m really tired though so I’m going to bed, and I’ve been up for thirty-six hours now, Goodnight boys.” He went to turn but Dustin lunged at him and had a tight hug on him. “It’s okay, Dustin, we are your family now, nobody or nothing can change that.” He kissed Dustin’s forehead, and Dustin relaxed and released the hug whispering, “Night Dad.”

Alex smiled as Dustin sat down beside him again, and Max ran into the room sniffing Dustin and then nuzzled his snout into his ear, giving a sloppy kiss. Dustin laughed, and petted Max, while Alex chuckled at Max’s welcoming to the family. Soon, Max gave Dustin the attention he felt was adequate and laid at both boys feet.

Alex smiled at Dustin, “Brendan and Cam waited up as long as they could, but they were falling asleep on the couch so Auntie Joh told them to go to bed, and then she went too. They all said they will see you in the morning.”

Dustin studied Alex for a while and mustered some courage, “Can I ask you a question?” He asked with a worried look on his face.

Alex placed his arm over Dustin’s shoulders, “Sure you can Dustin. I have nothing to hide, even if I did you could still ask, although I might not answer.” He said with a smile.

“Do you… remember that night… umm… you know…” Alex held his hand to stop Dustin’s question.

Grimacing Alex nodded, “Yeah, I remember, and it still hurts really bad knowing they are gone. I wake up really scared at night too.” He tightened his grasp on Dustin’s shoulder. Dustin gave Alex a sad look. “Tell me about what you’re thinking man.”

Dustin’s shoulders slouched, “I sometimes wish I died with them, it's not fair… We were on our way home from going miniature golfing, we stopped and had pizza and everything. I think I was asleep when the wreck happened. I… I miss them so much…” Dustin broke down in tears, dropping his head into his hands.

“Dusty, I know how bad it hurts… If it weren’t for Brendan and Cam I was ready to give up and die, but they didn’t give up on me. I'm not giving up on you.” Alex said as he pulled Dustin into a full-blown hug. “I promise I’ll be here for you, for the rest of my life Dusty.” He said as Dustin cried into his shoulder. As the sobbing calmed Alex loosened the hug and looked into Dustin’s eyes, “You still have the nightmares too?” Dustin nodded. “Make you a deal, I have them too so why don’t you sleep in my bed, and if one of us has a nightmare the other one of us is there to help the other. Sound okay?”

“Thanks, I feel like a baby, I can’t control this crying shit. The nightmares… it makes me feel like the wreck just happened, and I have to live that all over again.” A tear slipped from Dustin’s eyes, he used the back of his hand to wipe it up quickly.

“Dustin stop putting yourself down over the nightmares, we can’t control them.” Alex sighed and rubbed Dustin’s back, “You wouldn’t believe how many nights Brendan and Cam have spent in my room to help me through the nightmares.” He said with a determined look, “Now, it’s my turn to help you. Or I guess we can both help each other.”

“Thanks, man I know how your accident bothers you,” Dustin paused looking into Alex’s eyes. “At least I’m not the only one that feels the way I do.” A feeling of calmness passed over Dustin as he spoke with Alex.

“No problem Dustin, “Alex stood up taking his hand pulling up. “Let’s go get some sleep; you have to be tired after today.” Dustin nodded and followed Alex up the stairs to his room. Once inside Alex’s bedroom, Dustin paused looking at all of the hockey memorabilia. “Dustin, do you need some clothes for bed. I usually just sleep in my boxer’s but…” Dustin held his hand up and whispered, “That’s fine but I’m gay, maybe I should sleep in my own room.” Alex placed his hand on Dustin’s shoulder to stop him from fleeing and said, “Dustin, its fine man. I don’t care if you’re gay.” Dustin sighed and his shoulder’s dropped as he relaxed. Both boys made rapid work at getting undressed and crawled into their respective sides of the bed.

Sometime throughout the night, Alex woke to a crying Dustin. He pulled Dustin into his side and held him tightly whispering soothing words in his ear. Alex laid there watching Dustin’s bare chest rise and fall methodically while he slept, eventually falling back to sleep.

Alex was awakened by Brendan standing on his side of the bed poking him in the ribs while he said in a hushed tone, “Wake up, we wanna meet Dustin too. Auntie Joh said if you guys didn’t get a move on she was feeding Max you guys breakfast to him.” Cam nodded with a smirk knowing Auntie Joh wouldn’t hesitate on her threat. Alex rubbed his eyes and whispered, “I’ll wake Dustin and we will be down.” The boys bid a hasty retreat, while Alex smiled watching Dustin sleep. Alex gently shook Dustin’s shoulder, “Dustin… Dusty… gotta wake up man, Auntie Joh is gonna feed our breakfast to Max, he’s probably sitting in our chairs even.” Dustin rolled over and smiled at Alex, “Mmm… okay, I’m awake. Can I borrow a pair of shorts?” Dustin asked crawling out of bed. “Ya… um… no problem Dusty…” Alex said with a dazed look that was fixated on Dustin.

“Dusty, huh?” Dustin asked as Alex with an inquisitive look.

Alex rummaged through his drawer and found a pair of shorts he thought were too small for him and smirked throwing them to Dustin, “Uh, yeah.” Alex blushed and watched Dustin struggle with the shorts not fitting over his hips.

“Alex these are too damn small man,” Dustin said with a shake of his head and threw them back.

“Oh, sorry Dusty,” Alex dug around in his drawer for a few moments and found a pair of fluorescent-orange shorts throwing them to Dustin, “Here these will fit.” Alex let his gaze linger on Dustin as he pulled the shorts over his hips. “Let’s go, Max is probably drooling by now.” The boys headed toward the dining room.

Auntie Joh turned spotting Dustin walking into the dining room with Alex in tow, “Come here baby boy and give Auntie Joh a hug,” Alex rolled his eyes as she held her arms open, Dustin hesitantly walked to her, as she wrapped him in a motherly hug. “We’re all so glad to have you in the family,” Dustin smiled and relaxed in her arms.

“Thanks,” Dustin smiled embracing Joh back, “Something smells great,” He said just as his stomach growled like an untamed beast, Max cocked his head and barked. Brendan and Cam sat at the table snickering at Max.

Auntie Joh laughed, “I guess Max needs to get out of your chair, come on Maxie, Mommy will give you lovin’s,” Dustin cracked up as the other three boys were all making different motions to stop laughing. “Dustin, quit laughing Maxie has feelings too,” Joh had a serious look on her face.

Alex motioned Dustin to the chair beside him, “Don’t worry about it Max will get over it,” He said to Dustin as he gave Max a scratch behind the ear.

Dustin sat down glancing at the two boys seated across from him and then dropped his gaze to his plate. Brendan saw Dustin’s reaction and elbowed Cam which produced a yelp.

“Dustin, I’m Brendan,” He said with a smile, “the yelper here,” Brendan pointed, “Is Cam.” Cam rolled his eyes at Brendan and smiled toward Dustin.

Dustin smiled and mumbled, “Hi guys.” Brendan was determined to get Dustin to talk, so he started horsing around while Auntie Joh was bringing breakfast to the table, which elicited Auntie Joh swatting Brendan alongside the head with a dish towel. Breakfast continued with a little banter between the boys, but they refrained from any Max jokes.

Later that afternoon all four boys were sitting in the game room playing Xbox Dustin yawned and rubbed his eyes, “Guys I think I need to lay down I’m really tired,” Dustin stood up and stretched making his way to Alex’s room.

Cam turned and looked Alex, “Is Dustin okay?” He ran his hand through his hair, “He’s barely said much to any of us and he won’t look at us.”

Alex sighed, “I think it’s gonna take him a while to accept stuff…” He fidgeted and stood up, “I’m gonna go make sure he’s okay guys,” Alex gave a slight smile to his brothers and headed off to check on Dustin, he peeked into Dustin’s room but he wasn’t in there. When he walked toward his room the door was shut so he stood there listening, and he heard a whimper. Alex opened his door and made his way to the bed sitting beside Dustin, “Dusty, I know it hurts a lot man.” He sat his hand on his back rubbing small circles on Dustin’s back, “I’m always going to be here for you, no matter how bad things seem.” Alex laid down next to Dustin pulling him into a tight hug as if to shield him from the rest of the world. Dustin’s sobs quieted and his breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep.

*****

A few weeks later while Alex was at a physical therapy appointment, Brendan and Cam decided it was time to try to make another attempt at becoming closer to him. They knew he was in Alex’s room as it had become his safe place, so they knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Dustin said as he took his headphones off and the boys entered the room hesitantly closing the door once inside, “What’s up guys?”

Brendan smiled and turned the computer chair around and sat down, while Cam placed his hand on Brendan’s shoulder, “What were you listening too?”

“I was listening to country music,” Dustin was afraid of the boys rejecting him over it. “Pretty weird huh? I mean for a teenager to like country music…” Dustin waited for a reaction as both of his brothers looked at him quietly, not showing signs of disgust or amusement but possibly acceptance.

Brendan squeezed Cam’s hand, “Nope, not weird at all, ask Cam I listen to all kinds of music,” Cam nodded his head confirming Brendan’s proclamation. “I love singing and playing all of it too,” Brendan smiled at Dustin, “My music teacher tells me my music calms me and helps me focus. It’s just a way I can relate to things going on around me and I believe it’s true.”

Cam squeezed placed his hand on Brendan’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, “He’s really good Dustin when my Dad died Bren…” Cam stopped talked and wiped a few tears that ran down his cheek. “Brendan sang songs to me,” Cam steeled his raw emotions, “I wanted to die and give up, just to make the pain stop,” He pointed to his heart, “To make it stop hurting so much, my Mom died a few years before from cancer… Then when my Dad was shot and killed it was like I had nobody left. But Uncle Aaron, Alex, and Brendan never gave up on me.” Brendan wrapped his arm around Cam’s waist pulling him in tightly laying his head on Cam’s stomach.

Dustin fidgeted with his phone, stealing glances at the two boys making him wonder if they were a couple, “I… I’m sorry,” Tears welled up cascading down his cheek, “I’ve been so selfish and pissed at losing my parents I haven’t give you guys a chance…” Dustin buried his face in his hands to hide his uncontrolled tears. Brendan and Cam went over sitting on each side of Dustin wrapping him in a hug, sharing their love and support with their newest brother.

Brendan said in a hushed tone, “It’s gonna be okay Dustin, we are all here for you,” Dustin felt as if he were melting into the boys grasp gathering strength from them. Brendan started to sing John Legend’s version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” Alex came up into his room and paused at the door hearing his Brendan singing after his appointment, smiling proudly at his brother. Once Brendan quit singing the room became eerily quiet, and Alex slipped into the room hugging all three boys.

“Dustin…” Alex leaned his head back from their group hug, “All of us are all here for you Dustin, even when you don’t think you’re strong enough to get through the bad times.” All of their faces were streaked with tears, “We’re all family now.”

Dustin fought with himself to find his voice, “Thanks, I may not say a lot to everybody but I appreciate all of you,” He wiped his eyes and sniffled.

Cam smiled getting a mischievous grin on his face, “Let’s go raid the kitchen for junk food,” the four boys laughed and stampeded through the house like a herd of unleashed cattle as they skidded to a halt entering the kitchen as they met Aunt Joh’s eyes.

“Would the four of you care to explain why you’re running into my kitchen?” Auntie Joh asked as she rested her hands on her hips.

Dustin appeared as if he were a deer caught in headlights frozen in place. Cam laughed and smirked at Auntie Joh, “Move it, Auntie Joh, we need junk food we are starving to death, and we have to get it before Max gets home, or you’ll find a reason to give it to him,” He whined.

Auntie Joh smiled, “Let me get this straight,” Pointing a finger at the four starved teenagers, “You’re going to wither and die if you don’t have junk food right now? And my Maxie likes his treats too,” She snickered, “There are some homemade chocolate chip cookies in the jar on the counter and milk is in the fridge, just don’t spoil your supper.” Joh laughed and went to watch a show on the food network.

Brendan and Cam were doling out all of their nutritional requirement as Alex laughed, “Dusty it’s fine man, sit down Auntie Joh was just joking.”

Dustin sat down as if he were in a daze, “No…” Shaking his head, “M… my… my Mom used to do that with her hands on her hips everytime I ran through the house into the kitchen. It was like she was standing right there,” Dustin pointed, “I… I know she wasn’t but that’s the closest I have felt to her since the accident, I’m sorry.”

Alex took Dustin’s hand in his, “Dusty, there isn’t a day that goes by that something doesn’t remind me of my Mom or Joey,” Rubbing his thumb over the back of Dustin's, “Dad and everybody keeps reminding me that they would want me to continue living and being happy. I try to focus on all the good times we had together, like the first year Joey and I joined the peewee hockey league. I think Joey was on his ass on the ice more than he was his feet,” Alex chuckled, “When we got done with the first practice Joey whined to my Mom saying he thought he broke his bum dropping his pants, begging Mom to make sure he was okay. Mom just laughed and assured him that his bum was just fine, she was like that with all of us, she could make everything fun and we knew that it would be fine no matter what it was. I really miss both of them every day,” Alex sniffled, “I’m glad you came into my life Dusty, you filled a part of the hole that their death left in my heart, each day I spend with you I know we are going to survive it together.”

Brendan came over carrying two plates of cookies for Dustin and Alex, while Cam was carrying the glasses of milk for them but he looked like a chipmunk from having stuffed so many cookies in his mouth. Once all of the boys had their life-saving nutrients sitting in front of them at the table the boys bantered and carried on with one another. A few protests from Auntie Joh and some mumbled threats of Max eating their dinner if things didn’t calm down but Joh was smiles from ear to ear as all of her boys for the first time in a while seemed to be coping with life's challenges.

Dustin felt his new family might honestly be here for him even if for just a moment. Time will tell.