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    AC Benus
  • AC Benus
  • Author
  • 05/15/2019
  • 180 Words
  • 681 Views
  • 8 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Love Looked at Me and Laughed and other poems - 12. gilded in grime

...these four are rather meager...

.

Poem No. 30

 

My worth is gilded with grime,

Leaving nothing to me

Except inexpressible longing.

 

 

Poem No. 31

 

There must be no retreat from the fact.

I must return every look for the value it was given,

with no fear that it was ever less or more.

I must force my sun to rise, for they to see,

the ‘they’ for whom my light will have its meaning.

 

 

Poem No. 32

 

Must I stay in this mask of my own making,

Pretending the world knows not the difference

Between who I am and the possibilities forsaken,

Showing only mistaken deliverance?

And so, as the option wanes,

and I for want of better,

look at what little remains,

by turning it into a burden.

Any longer need I the mask indeed,

But for the weight of years of feared accusing.

 

 

Poem No. 33

 

My brand of sorrow

is their livelihood;

their brand of sadness

is my muse.

 

A Poem about the Psychiatric Profession

 

 

_

Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Parker Owens

I reacted with 'love,' even though these poems move me to sadness. For while I feel the weight of unhappiness in each of these, I also find traces of love, too. In Number 30, there is the hurt and inexpressible yearning for the beloved. In Number 31, I want to reach out and ease the pain you must have borne, for the strength needed to force the sun to rise must have been enormous.  In Number 32, I sit with you, having known something of what you wrote: pretending the world knows not the difference / between who I am and the possibilities taken struck a deep minor chord with me. The world is often unable to attune itself to love, in any of its forms, and this is a tragedy. For a poem so short, Number 33 speaks a world of truth. Thank you for sharing this collection with us.

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Lyssa

Your poems are so full of different emotion and thoughts, how could they be meager? They show the pain caused by an ending love, the longing. But more than that, they also bring the aspects of the hurt inflicted by society on us, if the masks we wear become so fixed, we have problems to take them down. When the view from outside effects, what we feel about ourselves it is probably the worst pain, which can be inflicted on us, because our essence can get harmed. And so your poem 32, shows a mind maturing and becoming strong. Wonderful poems which tell a rich story, if you ask me. 🙂 

No. 33 is simply brilliant!

Muha

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AC Benus
On 5/15/2019 at 12:18 PM, Parker Owens said:

I reacted with 'love,' even though these poems move me to sadness. For while I feel the weight of unhappiness in each of these, I also find traces of love, too. In Number 30, there is the hurt and inexpressible yearning for the beloved. In Number 31, I want to reach out and ease the pain you must have borne, for the strength needed to force the sun to rise must have been enormous.  In Number 32, I sit with you, having known something of what you wrote: pretending the world knows not the difference / between who I am and the possibilities taken struck a deep minor chord with me. The world is often unable to attune itself to love, in any of its forms, and this is a tragedy. For a poem so short, Number 33 speaks a world of truth. Thank you for sharing this collection with us.

Love is a wonderful reaction, Parker. I've been rereading my Plato, and this feeling of longing comes up several times there, along with several theories as to why also proving interesting. Probably the notion of a 'soul-mate' is the best known one today. 

From these four poems, I suppose No. 32 is the one that speaks the clearest to me. I like and appreciate that it speaks to you too :)

Thank you, as always, Parker, for sharing your thoughts with me. 

  • Like 2
AC Benus
On 5/16/2019 at 3:46 AM, Mikiesboy said:

They may be meager, as you put it, but the messages within them are not. There is love, and sadness here, but more, there is strength, maybe more than you realized you had.

Thank you for sharing these brave and rich poems.

Thank you for reading them, Tim, and sharing your thoughts. They are greatly appreciated. There are coming a few poems in this collections to/for/about Brian that I do consider pretty important, so please stay tuned :)

Thanks again 

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  • Love 1
AC Benus
On 5/16/2019 at 9:51 AM, Lyssa said:

Your poems are so full of different emotion and thoughts, how could they be meager? They show the pain caused by an ending love, the longing. But more than that, they also bring the aspects of the hurt inflicted by society on us, if the masks we wear become so fixed, we have problems to take them down. When the view from outside effects, what we feel about ourselves it is probably the worst pain, which can be inflicted on us, because our essence can get harmed. And so your poem 32, shows a mind maturing and becoming strong. Wonderful poems which tell a rich story, if you ask me. 🙂 

No. 33 is simply brilliant!

Muha

Thank you, Lyssa. The truth is, it is very hard to judge one's own work. When I encounter these old poems, my mind and emotions are a roil of memory and freshly re-visted pain; how can I look at them subjectively? I can't really. 

I like and appreciate your interpretations, and naturally, I value your thoughts and opinions. Thank you very much for reading and commenting on these and all of  my work :) 

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  • Love 2
AC Benus
On 5/16/2019 at 8:00 PM, mollyhousemouse said:

i think you do yourself an injustice by saying

...these four are rather meager...

they are only meager if you are counting words, or syllables. otherwise, they are full of feeling, of raw emotion

i'm thankful that you share these with us xo

Thank you, Molly, for your wonderful support. It's always nice to know you have read my poems and connected to them :)

 

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