Keep Me As An Apple of Your Eye - 6. December 6

Friday, December 6

The Light of Hope

As John was completing his work, he said,

“Who do you suppose I am?

I am not the one you are looking for.

But there is one coming after me whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”

Acts 13: 25

Erick was about to leave the apartment when the telephone rang. He hesitated because he was running late. Todd had left earlier to attend his weekly study group. The group consisted of math majors who met at a diner and reviewed their work for the week and talked about upcoming assignments. Today, they were going to obsess about their upcoming exams. Erick joked that they were a tortured lot of insecure geniuses.

Erick went back into the apartment and answered the telephone. He did his normal greeting of “hello.”

“I must have the wrong telephone number. I apologize. I was calling my son, Todd.”

“Todd has already left for class this morning.”

“Oh, may I ask to whom I am speaking?”

“Yes, this is Dr. Emmanuelson. May I take a message for Todd?”

“Yes, ask him to call his mother. His father and I will be in Williamsburg tonight and want to make dinner plans with him.”

“I will be happy to give him the message.”

“I am not quite sure how to ask this, but what are you doing answering the telephone in Todd’s apartment when he is not there.”

“Yes, ma’am. I live here.”

The telephone line instantly froze from Richmond to Williamsburg.

“Well, I thank you for giving him the message.”

“I will. I am late and must run if there is nothing else.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot. What did you say your name was?”

“Dr. Erick Emmanuelson.”

Erick heard the line disconnect.

Todd was sitting in the diner and he sensed something wasn’t right. It was like a signal from the universe. He was lost in his world until Bobby punched him in the side and asked if he was alright.

“Yes, I am fine. My mind just wandered for a minute.”

The students grabbed their books, dropped money on the table and ran to class.

Erick drove to campus and thought that the ice had been broken about Todd’s parents knowing that he was living in the apartment. He would give Todd the message from his mother at lunch time. They had planned to go to the movies with some friends that night but it seemed that those plans had changed. Erick was meeting Todd for lunch at a sandwich shop across the street from campus. Erick had office hours from 1-3 on that Friday afternoon. He expected to see a couple of students who were at risk of failing. He already anticipated their pleas for help. It was too late for him to offer them anything. There would be no extra credit this late in the semester. He wasn’t planning to spend his entire winter holiday grading papers and listening to whining students.

Erick was five minutes late getting to the sandwich shop and slid into the booth where Todd sat. He leaned over and gave his lover a kiss. Todd was wearing an aubergine bowtie with his black sweater and slacks. Erick was wearing a lavender bowtie with his black sweater and slacks. Todd enjoyed the fact that they usually dressed alike. Erick was completely indifferent as he had spent most of his life wearing the same thing as his brother, Eron.

“What do you want to eat?”

“I have already ordered for both of us.” Erick raised his eyebrow and looked at Todd.

“It is Friday, so I ordered a fish sandwich for myself with a bowl of clam chowder. I ordered a grilled pimento cheese sandwich and tomato soup for you.”

“Thank you, my love.”

Todd had a strange look on his face which prompted a question from Erick.

“What are you thinking?”

“This morning while I was still at breakfast, right before we left for class, it felt like someone walked on my grave.”

“Well, since you are alive nobody could have walked on your grave.”

“It is just a saying down here. I had a premonition that something wasn’t right.”

“Well, this morning your mother called.” Just at that moment the waitress brought their food. Todd’s mouth was hanging open.

“Did you speak with my mother?”

“Yes, I told her that you were too tired from our incredible love making to come to the telephone and that when you were able to drag your body from our marriage bed I would have you return the call.”

“Erick. What was said? I can’t believe you talked to my mother.”

“Todd, it was okay. Your parents are coming into town tonight and want to meet for dinner. She asked why I was answering the telephone and I told her I lived there also. She then proceeded to ask my name again and then hung up.”

Todd pushed his plate to the middle of the table. He had no appetite.

“Eat your lunch, Todd. It will be alright.” Erick reached across the table and held Todd’s hand. When they left the sandwich shop the bowl of chowder and the sandwich were still on the table.

“I am going to call Tayloe. He will know what is going on. I am going back to the apartment.”

Erick was upset that Todd was so distressed. He also knew it was only a matter of time before his parent’s knew about their younger son. As predicted, a couple of students stopped by Erick’s office to ask what they could do to improve their grades. Erick was direct, if even somewhat short, and said they needed to get a perfect score on their exams to pass the course.

Todd had returned to the apartment and called Tayloe at his office. His secretary told Todd that Tayloe was in a mediation session all afternoon and wasn’t expected to return to the office until Monday. Todd calmed his nerves and dialed his parent’s telephone number. The maid greeted Todd and said his mother wasn’t home but was due back in a half an hour.

“Please let her know I returned her call. Thank you, Sarah.”

“Take care, Mr. Todd. I will tell her.”

Todd paced the apartment. He went into the dining room and lit the Advent candle and prayed. He wasn’t ready for a conversation about his sexuality. He hoped this visit wasn’t about his sexuality. Tayloe would not have told them. Surely, it was just coincidental.

The telephone rang.

“Hello.”

“Hi darling. Are you okay? It sounds like you just ran up the stairs.”

“I’m fine. I did just run into the house expecting you to call. I had left something in the car and ran down to get it.”

“Was it my Christmas present?” Todd cringed because he hadn’t thought of Christmas presents for his parents and his mother turned into a ten year old girl on Christmas Day.

“Well, you just never know. There are some beautiful things in shops down here.”

His mother giggled. Todd felt relieved because the call was so normal.

“Listen, your father and I have to be in Williamsburg and we thought it would be great to have dinner. Meet us at the Inn at 7 pm. I have already called Hubert and reserved a table for us.”

“I will see you then. Have a safe drive. Friday afternoon traffic can be murder.”

“See you then. Bye.”

Todd felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It was just dinner with his parents. No biggie.

Erick didn’t know what to expect when he got home. Todd met him at the door and kissed him. The tension that Todd had been carrying earlier had dissipated.

“Did you have a good conversation with your mother?”

“Yes, she and dad are going to be in town and we are going to have dinner.”

“What time do we meet them?”

Todd just looked at Erick and didn’t know what to say. He stared at Erick without speaking.

“I see. Well, I will go to the movies with the gang. Yonatan and Matan are coming over. I am going to take a shower to freshen up.”

Erick turned quickly because he didn’t want Todd to see the tears in his eyes. The shower covered the sound of his crying. It was only when the shower curtain was pulled back that he knew that Todd had been in the bathroom. They held each other but neither knew what to say so they didn’t say anything. Todd was trying to get Erick to laugh but he was not successful. As Erick was leaving, he turned to kiss Todd goodbye. He touched the mezuzah as he walked out. He walked to his car without turning back. He didn’t see Todd standing at the window. He drove to their usual diner and ordered a salad. He stirred it around the plate and couldn’t get anything down. The fork would approach his lips and then he would put it back down on the plate. He left the restaurant without eating anything.

Matan and Yonatan spied him sitting on a bench at Market Square. Erick was trying to put on a good face for them and said that Todd’s parents were in town so they were having dinner. Matan gave Yonatan a knowing look before he threw his arm across Erick’s shoulder and said it was going to be a threesome. The look on Erick’s face was priceless.

“Only for the movies, Erick. You are sitting between Yonatan and me and you get to hold the large container of buttered popcorn. We will be reaching into your crotch all night as we pick out the perfect kernels of corn. If you are really good, I will feed you some popcorn.”

“It is really sexy when Matan feeds me popcorn. Of course, that always leads to something more intimate but we don’t share that. You only get popcorn and Coke. Hopefully, by the time we have played in your crotch all night you will be in the mood to be with your boyfriend and show him a really good time.

The guys laughed and Erick was in a somewhat better mood. There was, however, an empty feeling in his heart.

Todd arrived at the Williamsburg Inn and couldn’t remember if he had ever eaten there twice in one week before. This should have been a treat but he wasn’t looking forward to dinner because he had seriously wounded Erick. He didn’t know how to tell his parents he wanted to bring Erick to dinner. Todd was wearing one of Erick’s charcoal grey suits. He had on a fresh white shirt and Erick’s lavender bowtie. This made him close to Erick.

His parents were already at the table. His father had on a grey suit and was wearing a Christmas necktie. His mother was wearing a winter white cashmere dress with an expensive broach. She loved jewelry. Most people would not know that those were real diamonds, rubies and emeralds in the broach. She knew and that was important to her.

His father was having his usual scotch on the rocks. His mother was drinking white wine. Todd ordered a Rioja. His parents both gave him a look because he wasn’t old enough to drink wine in Virginia. Todd noticed that his mother kept moving her flatware as if she were setting the table. She was nervous about something if she was fidgeting in that way.

“I understand you ate dinner here on Wednesday night.”

“Yes, Tayloe came down and we had dinner here.”

“Hmmm, what did you have to eat that night? No need to have the same thing again.”

Todd laughed. “You know how Tayloe is. He insisted on ordering. I had a great Crab Norfolk. It is Friday night and I know they have prime rib so that is what I want.”

Todd’s father nodded at what he heard. “Did he tell you what he was planning to do?”

“No, what has Tayloe done now?”

“He went out with Cynthia last night and broke up with her.”

Todd was glad he was drinking water and not wine as he snorted it through his nose.

“He what?”

Todd looked at his mother and saw that she was one moment from crying.

“He didn’t tell you what he was going to do?”

“Not a word.”

Todd father nodded his head again. He wondered if Todd would have told him the truth. His boys kept secrets for each other.

Todd’s mother took a lacy handkerchief from her purse and dabbed her eyes.

“We thought he was going to give her a diamond for Christmas. He recently went to the bank to look at grandmother’s diamond engagement ring. It had been a long time since he had seen it and he probably couldn’t remember what it looked like. I almost called Swartzchild’s to tell them I wanted to see how he was having it remounted. I am glad I didn’t do that. Tayloe doesn’t have the best taste, you know.”

“Well, he said nothing to me. He was in a good mood. He drove back to Richmond that night.”

“Was he drinking too much?”

“No sir, he had a cocktail and then a glass of wine with dinner.”

The waiter appeared and they ordered. Todd felt that the worst was past. He relaxed. Shrimp cocktails were placed on the table for each of them. They came without being ordered. Robert had told the waiter to bring them ‘the usual’. His parents were old fashioned in their food choices at the Inn. They came from a gentler, more formal time.

“Well, it is nice to see you so dressed up. That suit cost a pretty penny and that bow-tie came from Beecroft and Bull. I can tell. I was wondering about your finances, so I checked your trust fund accounts today. While I was reviewing things, I looked at your bank balances because your mother thought you might need to draw down more from your trusts. You seem to have plenty of money in your accounts. If you are not able to pay your bills just let me know and I can adjust your monthly payout.”

Todd looked at his father and then understood the purpose of the conversation.

“I am fine with what I am drawing now. There is no need to increase the amount. If I ever have that need, I will let you know.” Todd looked directly in his father’s eyes as he said this.

“I see. Then can you help your mother understand why you need a roommate?”

Todd knew it was now or never. He took a large gulp of his wine and put his hands in his lap because they were shaking so much.

“I have a roommate so that takes some of the financial pressure off of me. Erick moved in with me early in November.”

“My dear, you don’t need a roommate? He told me he is a doctor. What is his specialty?”

“Mom, he is a PhD, not a MD. He is a history professor.”

Todd looked down at the table top and was about to speak when the waiter appeared with their main courses. No one spoke while the plates were placed on the table. The waiter asked if everything was alright and his father thanked him and then gave a cursory dismissal.

“Why do you have a history professor living with you?” His father’s voice was direct but not raised.

“Because I love him.”

Todd said that and then excused himself from the table. He quickly walked to the men’s room where he finally caught his breath. He regulated his breathing, washed his face and then returned to the table. He sat and his parents looked at him.

His father started, “You were saying.”

Todd was stupefied. He had just told them he was in love with a man and they were acting like this was the most normal thing in the world.

“I said I am gay and in love with a man.”

There was silence. Then his father said, “As you were saying. Tell us more.”

Todd caught his breath and thought about what he should tell his parents. Todd then told them about meeting Erick. He told them he had known that he was gay since high school and had dated men in college.

“I think your father and I would like to know more about Dr. Emmanuelson.”

Todd was rhapsodic. His father raised his right eyebrow when the praise because a little too hagiographic.

“I am glad to see you are in love. We were afraid you would always be alone in your life. When can we meet him? Why didn’t you bring him tonight?”

“How are you accepting this so easily? Aren’t you supposed to be disowning me or shouting or something? I have made myself sick today worrying. I love you and I love him.” Todd fought to catch his breath. His father suggested another trip to the men’s room was in order so he could pull himself together. The men in the Reynold’s family did not make scenes in public. Certainly, there were no raised voices in public.

Todd returned to the table and realized that his Prime Rib had barely been touched. He dug in. His parents had more questions.

“We ate here Wednesday night with Tayloe and Erick’s brother, Eron. Eron was in Richmond for some meetings at the Federal Court House. Afterwards they joined us at the apartment for a short Advent service.”

“Excuse me for asking, but a name like Emmanuelson would suggest he is Jewish.” Todd’s mother had reached out and touched his hand while asking the question.

“He is. The family is not very observant. He agreed to the nightly Advent service and he is going to the Sunday Advent services with me. We will observe Hanukkah starting on the 22^nd. I came back early so we could celebrate together.”

“Well, son, you have given your mother and me a lot to think about. We have suspected you were gay for a long time. It is not a shock, but it is a shock. We came tonight to talk about Tayloe because something is going on in his life. We are really concerned about him. We did not expect to have this conversation. It wouldn’t be fair to Erick for us to unexpectedly go to the apartment tonight. You will bring him for Christmas Day.”

They finished with brandy and coffee while they talked more about Christmas Day, Tayloe, Erick, and Todd’s plans for graduate school. It was as if all of Todd’s worrying had been for naught.

Todd returned to the apartment to find it empty. He had expected that Erick would have already returned from the movie. He prepared for bed but couldn’t fall asleep alone. He laid on the living room sofa waiting for Erick’s return. He realized they had not done their Advent reading.

Todd awoke when he heard the front door open. Erick came staggering into the apartment. He was right royally pissed. Todd hoped he had walked home instead of driving given his level of inebriation. Erick kept telling Todd how much he loved him. Over and over and over he said the same thing. Todd gently helped Erick undress and got him into bed. He then curled his body around his lover as he fell asleep.

Suggested Music:

“Hymn to John the Baptist”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVgWbLUkgY4