Keep Me As An Apple of Your Eye - 24. December 24 - Christmas Eve

Tuesday, December 24

Christmas Eve

Third Night of Chanukah

There once was a man who stood before God, his heart breaking from the pain

and injustice in the world. “Dear God” he cried out, “look at all the suffering

and anguish in your world! Why don’t you send help?”

God replied, “I did. I sent you.”

Rabbi David Wolpe

Erick and Todd were eating lunch at The Trellis in Market Square. The restaurant was jam packed with people who were enjoying the last day before Christmas. Todd especially loved it for the chocolate desserts. The owner, Marcel Desaulniers, had written that wonderful cookbook “Death by Chocolate.” Todd couldn’t think of a better way to die.

“Let’s review the list one more time.” The guys put their heads together and reviewed what they would have for Christmas Eve dinner and food to prepare for the next day at the Reynold’s home.

“You know, my dad is out shopping. He always leaves home on Christmas Eve morning to go shopping for the day. After he finishes shopping, he goes to the Country Club for lunch and then an afternoon of playing poker. He arrives back at the house in time for dinner. He always comes in with bags of wrapped presents. When we were little there were also telegrams from Santa to let us know he was on his way. That was the neatest thing to get a telegram from Santa.”

Erick indulged Todd’s memories of his childhood Christmas. The closer they got to the actual day the more vivid the memories had become. Erick wondered if Todd could truly have a Jewish husband. Especially on days like Christmas Eve. Todd was actually bouncing on the bed that morning telling Erick to get up because they had so much to do. Todd laid out the plan for the day as if he were a 10 year old boy. Erick fretted. How could a Jewish and Christian couple get through the holiday in one piece. It resolved itself however when Erick looked in Todd’s eyes and saw nothing but love. Each time he looked into those blue eyes he would fall down the well of love.

“What should I get your mother? She is the difficult one to buy for.”

“Anything blingy. She loves some bling. The best jewelry store is next door.”

“I don’t think I can compete with your father. After all, I am on faculty salary not a stock broker’s.”

Unbeknown to Todd, Erick had a florist deliver flowers to Mrs. Reynolds that day. He thought it might brighten her day and lead to an easier time when they were together. The next day would be his first time meeting the formidable Mrs. Reynolds.

“A scarf. She loves scarves.”

They left the restaurant and even Erick got into the Christmas spirit with the musicians on the street corners, the Colonial District workers in costumes and the ever-present ringing of the bell from the Salvation Army. He wouldn’t contribute to them because they were anti-gay but the ringing of the bell made him think of the holidays.

Growing up in Newport, he experienced similar celebrations. Some of the big homes put up lavish displays not only in the homes but on the grounds. It was a tradition to drive up Belmont Avenue to look at the lights. They were so wonderful and festive for Eron and him to see. They said they wanted Santa Claus to come visit them and they wanted to put up a Christmas tree. It was a fight with their parents for many years but they finally grew out of it one day when they were down at the waterfront on Christmas Eve. Some drunken men saw them and said, “Who let the kikes out today? They killed Jesus. We should kill them like they killed our Savior.” Both boys ran home as hard as they could. Neither wanted to see the Christmas lights on Belmont Avenue again. Their parents knew something had happened but didn’t ask particulars. Both boys were home safe and neither wanted to go outside on Christmas Day. They played Scrabble all day while sitting in front of the blazing fire. After they grew tired of the game, they sat together in quietness and read. Eron had sat on the sofa with Erick in his arms. They would trade off reading from an Isaac Beshevis Singer story. Erick was the first to fall asleep and then Eron nodded off. Their parents grew quite emotional seeing them lying of the sofa asleep. Mrs. Emmanuelson got a quilt and covered her two boys. The boys celebrated Chanukah that night and didn’t equate it with Christmas ever again.

Erick shook his head trying to rid himself of those memories. Certainly, things had changed over the years and he no longer feared for his safety at Christmas.

Once they were back home, Todd started to put together a meal for Christmas Eve. Normally, his family had eaten the Seven Fish Meal like the Italians. He had no idea where that tradition started since none of them were Italian. He had asked Erick about the menu and both were enthusiastic at the idea.

“Can we really fix a seven seafood meal without including shellfish?” Todd asked when making the grocery list.

“Well, you know. Those dietary laws are so old and they were written in a time when food would not keep and the pigs could give you trichinosis. Shellfish wouldn’t hold up in the desert heat either. I am sure there were lots of cases of food poisoning. Many Jews still observe those rules and our family somewhat followed them but we grew up by the shore with lots of fishing boats. On special occasions we would have shellfish. We were too poor to eat shellfish every day.”

Todd told Erick he would cook the meal and to stay clear of the kitchen. Erick spent the afternoon reading and watching television. There wasn’t much to watch so he ended up falling asleep on the sofa. He was there when Todd walked in with a glass of Riesling. It was near dark outside when Todd had put a Bach cantata on the stereo.

“Let me wash my face and hands before we eat.” Erick scooted to the bathroom where he gave things a slap and a half. He splashed water on his face which helped to awaken him. He returned to the living room where Todd had placed a platter with sliced and toasted bagels. It was accompanied by smoked salmon dip. Erick took a bite and his eyes bugged out with pleasure.

“This is sooooo good. I want more.”

“No more because we have seven courses to eat.”

“Please daddy.” Erick made puppy dog eyes and Todd laughed.

“No son, no more tonight or Santa Claus won’t come.” Ooops, Todd realized that he should not have said that. Instead of being offended, Erick said that he had been a good boy. In fact, he said he had been a very good boy. He was willing to offer Todd proof of how good he could be. They both laughed and the moment passed.

“Into the dining room for the next course.” They took a moment to pause, said a prayer and lit the four Advent Candles. Todd then lit the Christ Candle in the middle. “It is not yet sunset but I am going to say it is Christmas so I am lighting this.” Erick smiled thinking that Todd was thinking of the timing of the Jewish day.

Beautiful green salads with small pieces of fried catfish were at each place setting. Erick noticed that instead of sitting across from each other, Todd had arranged for them to sit side by side. They were petite salads and again Erick asked for more. “May I just have more of that dressing. More please, sir.”

“This is not Charles Dickens either. This is not porridge.”

The plates were whisked away and Todd returned with a plate that held four fried codfish balls. He set it down on the table in front of his chair. Erick gave him a quizzical look. Todd then took a codfish, dipped it in horseradish sauce, and then lifted it to Erick’s mouth for him to take a bite. The sauce was hotter than Erick was expecting. He laughed and put his hand over his mouth.

“Wow, that has some fire in it.” He then grabbed his glass of wine and took a big gulp.

Todd sat waiting. Erick picked up a fish ball, dipped it in the sauce and fed it to Todd. He then licked his fingers with his eyes never leaving Todd’s.

There were two codfish balls for each of them.

“What did you put in the sauce?”

“Wasabi. I like both my sauce and my men hot.” They both laughed.

Erick could smell the next dish before it arrived at the table. It was one of his favorites that he seldom ate. The bowl of pasta with white clam sauce was set down in front of him. He used his hands to bring the smell up to his nose. The motion made his think of his mother lighting the Shabbat candles. He immediately was homesick thinking that his parents and Eron were in Newport and he was in Williamsburg. He somehow forgot about them after he took the first bite.

“Is it rude for me to lick my plate?”

“Yes, my love, it is. Even when it is just the two of us. Maybe when we eat in the kitchen you can lick the bowl but not tonight.”

“I want you to cook every night from now on. We will both be big as houses but we’ll be happy.”

Todd laughed and said they could trade off on the cooking. Erick stood and refilled their wine and water glasses. He was enjoying this leisurely meal. They were not in a hurry and the smells emanating from the kitchen let him know that this meal was very special to his lover. He had spent all afternoon preparing it for the two of them.

Todd brought soup plates to the table with Cioppino. He then brought in a loaf of hot Italian bread and garlic butter.

“The bread is great to sop up the sauce. The Cioppino was filled with a variety of seafood. Each mouthful was followed by a sigh of contentment from each of them. Todd had been right that they used the bread to sop up the sauce. Both plates were clean.

“Oh my gosh, I am full. I didn’t know that was going to be so filling.”

“And only two more courses to go. Go sit in the living room and get things ready for us to light the Chanukkiah while I clean the table.”

Erick went into the living room and put new candles in the Chanukkiah. He found the reading for the day and was finishing as Todd walked in with two goblets filled with limoncello gelato.

“Here, this will help clean our palates for the dessert course.”

Erick took a bite and knew it was the perfect thing. All of a sudden, his appetite had returned. He leaned over and kissed Todd and told him it had been a wonderful meal. They put the glasses on the cocktail table, leaned back into the sofa and sighed.

“Do you want dessert before or after we light the Chanukkiah?”

“Why don’t you bring the dessert and coffee in and then we will eat it while looking at the candles.”

“Perfect. Brilliant idea, lover.” Todd leaned over and kissed Erick again. Neither wanted to stop.

Todd returned with stacked rainbow sponge cake and cups of coffee for each of them.

The two men knelt in front of the living room window where the Chanukkiah was placed. Erick said prayers, and then took the servant candle and then starting at the right lit three candles. They enjoyed the candlelight for a minute before returning to the sofa. Erick then read the scriptures for the day. They pondered the meaning in their lives and shared their feelings of love and support for each other. They also focused on the concept of repairing the world and how they in their own individual actions could help repair the fractions between and among people. They both agreed that the love started at home and they should always be in accord with each other no matter how hard that was.

Todd sliced his rainbow sponge with the edge of his fork and fed the piece to Erick.

Just then the doorbell rang. Todd opened the door to a group of carolers. They seemed somewhat taken aback seeing two handsome young men. They thought only old people lived in the apartments. They didn’t miss a beat and started singing. Erick came up behind Todd and wrapped him in his arms while they listened to the music. After the carolers finished, a boy asked Todd and Erick if they were Jewish. Erick said yes. He hadn’t formulated the language to explain they were an interfaith couple.

“That is really cool. Can we see your Menorah?”

Todd told them they were welcome, and twelve teenagers entered their apartment. Erick was explaining the difference between a Menorah and Chanukkiah while Todd disappeared. When Erick finished, Todd asked them to come into the dining room where he had placed twelve servings of their rainbow sponge cake on the table. Todd then explained the Advent wreath. He said they had lit the Christ candle because it was already Christmas Day according to Jewish rules about days starting at sunset. Todd explained that he was Christian and Erick was Jewish and they were learning to observe both holidays as a couple. The kids were fascinated, finished their cake and left the apartment. As Todd and Erick were walking back to the sofa, they heard the doorbell ring again. It was the kids. They started singing, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” The boy who had asked about the Menorah said that next year they would learn a Chanukah song for them to sing. Todd and Erick were filled with joy that they were so readily accepted as both gay and interfaith.

They sat on the sofa and Erick said it was time for gifts. This was a nightly occurrence in Chanukah that Todd loved. They each went to their secret hiding places to retrieve the gifts. They sat back on the sofa looking at each other.

Todd handed Erick a wrapped box. It was from Beecroft and Bull. Erick slowly opened the box and found a bowtie in blue, gold and white.

“It is a Chanukah bowtie for you to wear tomorrow. My family dresses for Christmas Day.”

Erick grinned and said Todd’s mother would probably use it to string him up. Erick then handed Todd a present. It, too, was wrapped in holiday paper from Beecroft and Bull. It was a red, green and white Christmas bowtie.

They both fell onto the other laughing. That led to kissing, which led to snuggling which led to Todd jumping up saying they needed to get ready for Christmas Eve Mass. Erick just looked at Todd.

“What? It is Christmas Eve and the choir does a concert for an hour before the service. We need to get ready so we can get our pew.”

Erick knew that what he had to say wasn’t going to be well received.

“I said yes to Advent services. Todd this is Christmas Eve. Jews don’t celebrate Christmas. I can’t go. In fact, in many cities in Europe it is dangerous for Jews to be out on Christmas Eve.” The two men were staring at each other.

Todd looked like someone had slapped him. He had assumed because Erick went to the Advent services that he would naturally go to Christmas Eve service with him.

“I don’t think I have ever gone to Christmas Eve service alone. I don’t……….” Todd was crying, went to the bedroom and closed the door. He never closed the bedroom door.

Erick went to the living room and sat on the sofa. The Chanukah candles were starting to burn down so he put them out so they didn’t catch anything on fire. He then went to the dining room and extinguished the Advent candles. He realized the Bach Cantata had finished and there was absolute silence in the apartment. He was frozen and didn’t know what to do.

He was about to fall asleep when he heard the bedroom door open. Todd looked at him and said he was going to take a shower and then get ready for Midnight Mass. There was no happiness on his face whereas he was all smiles earlier in the evening. The bathroom door closed and Erick swallowed hard and knew what he had to do. He had never felt so wretched and miserable in his life. He quickly got up from the sofa and went into the bedroom. He closed the door. There was only one solution. He thought of his parents and brother at home in Newport. He also thought of Todd feeling all alone and abandoned. He was practically nauseous.

He finished what he knew he had to do and was waiting in the living room when Todd went directly from the bathroom into the bedroom. Again, he closed the door. Erick stood and waited. He was nervous about what he had to say.

Todd stood in amazement when he saw Erick standing in the living room in his suit wearing the bowtie that Todd had just given him. He also had on his kippah.

“I am going because I love you. I love you. We will eventually figure this out. I am going as a Jew and will wear my kippah throughout the service.” He didn’t ask but made a claim to his faith on one of the holiest days in the Christian calendar.

Todd rushed to Erick and cradled him in his arms. “I love you, too. We will figure this out because we have a lifetime together.” He picked up the bowtie that Erick had given him. He took off the one he was wearing and asked Erick to tie the Christmas bowtie for him. When Erick finished, they looked at each other. They didn’t know whether to kiss or smile or do whatever so they just looked into each other’s eyes and saw love. That answered all of the questions each of them had.

Todd grabbed Erick’s hand. “Give me one minute. Don’t leave. I will be right back.”

When Todd came back into the living room, he was wearing the kippah that had been a gift from Erick on the first night of Chanukah.

“We go together. I love you. Thank you for loving me enough for us to work through this.”

They barely got to their pew before the church filled with people who were there to hear the choir. They received questioning looks from many people who knew them as the handsome, gay couple who always sat in the same pew. On Christmas Eve, they were revealing one more bit of information about themselves.

Suggested music:

“Tomorrow is My Dancing Day”

Gerald Near, Composer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VTkJSIXXzU