The Title Will Go Here - 7. Chapter 7

- VII -

He woke up because of the sudden, cranky-sounding beeping of the alarm. Before he even realized what was going on, his arm stretched out in a slow, habitual gesture, aiming for the annoying button. He felt his fingers graze the smoothness of the button, when all of a sudden, Gemini jerked harshly right next to him, and then the alarm clock flew off the nightstand, smashing on the floor, and immediately ceasing all the beeping. That woke him up for good, and he slowly opened his eyes, trying to figure out if he pushed the clock harder than he intended.

“Had to be it...” he thought and frowned when suddenly, Gemini muttered in a dark hurry:

“I am up... I am up...! Please, don’t...!”

“Don’t what...?” Stratos said slowly. “Gem, wake up!” he called louder when the blond kelari wouldn’t open his eyes.

Gemini let out a strange, strangled sound, and his eyes flew open. He looked at Stratos without blinking for several blind seconds, his neck rigid, and then finally, he let out a slow sigh, blinked, and Stratos felt the pulse underneath his fingertips returning to its original peaceful rhythm.

“Don’t what?” he asked again and propped himself on one elbow.

“Mmm...?” he received a confused reply.

“You said, ‘I am up, please don’t’... Don’t what?”

“Oh...” Gemini let out another sigh and rolled onto his side, facing the bright-blue eyes. “Just a dream, I suppose...” He glanced around as if trying to figure out how he got there, and suddenly, there was that familiar rosy glow hugging his neck and face. “Morning...” he said softly, shifting his gaze towards the blue eyes again, his expression hesitant as if he wasn’t sure how Stratos would react right now that the night was gone.

“Morning...” Stratos leaned closer and locked their lips together, noting a quick flash of relief shooting through the golden eyes.

“Mmm...” Gemini muttered a minute or so later, breaking the kiss. “Your alarm went off... Do you have to get up...? Your concert is tonight...”

“I am up,” Stratos nodded seriously. “In more ways than one,” he added a few seconds later, and grinned when there was a quick golden glance shooting downwards. “The concert is not until eight in the evening...” He kicked off the blanket and scooted closer to the pale body next to him. “I just need to do the last rehearsal... Run through the program slowly... I have time...”

“You sure...? You sure you have enough...?” The voice did not sound concerned at all; instead, it was quick, slightly trembling, and hopeful.

“Positive,” Stratos said seriously, and then both of them stopped talking for a while.

**** 

“Go back to sleep,” Stratos said several hours later, emerging from the bathroom after he took a quick shower.

“Here...?” Gemini threw a quick glance at him, his eyes hiding behind the long eyelashes again. “I mean...” He paused. “Do you want me to get out of your room while you are not here...?” He sat up, and Stratos just sighed when he saw a strand of hair slide over one of the eyes. He came closer.

“If I wanted you to get out...” He reached out for that strand. “...I would’ve said so,” he finished with a slight nod after the strand was tucked behind the small ear once again. “Go back to sleep.”

“Okay...” he got a soft, breath-like response and suppressed a sudden wave of heat that rushed through him when he watched the perfect body stretch on the bed. He really had to run through the program; he didn’t want to cut the last rehearsal short.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he sighed. He slightly frowned, looking as if he was considering something. “I want you to come with me tonight,” he said finally, and this time, the golden eyes opened all the way without hiding behind the eyelashes. “To the concert,” Stratos nodded without looking away. “And to the after-party... I want you to come with me...”

Gemini slowly sat up, his expression stunned and perturbed. Stratos waited for him to speak without saying anything.

“To come with you...?” He finally muttered, his gaze still blink-free.

“Yes,” Stratos nodded again.

“Y-you sure...?” Gemini slightly stuttered. “I mean, to go out... In public... You would... With me... I...”

“Yes,” Stratos said patiently once again. “Go out, in public, with you. I want you to come with me tonight.”

“I...” the blond kelari finally blinked. “Umm... I don’t even have anything to wear... I mean...”

“You will,” Stratos interrupted him with another nod. “I want you to come with me,” he said again without looking away. “This is not an order, by the way,” he added a couple of seconds later, after seeing the look in golden eyes. “I want you to come, but if you don’t want...”

“I do,” Gemini interrupted him softly. “I do,” he repeated after a couple of seconds. “It’s just...”

He hesitated, and Stratos correctly translated his silence into ‘I am scared.’

“Don’t be,” he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Don’t be scared...”

Gemini blinked several times at those words. Stratos shrugged.

“You are easy to read,” he let out a smile. “Come with me... It will be fine,” he finished quietly, and got a slow, uncertain nod in response.

“Okay...”

He smiled again and leaned closer, placing a quick kiss on the perfect mouth, making sure he didn’t linger – he knew that if he did, he would miss the last rehearsal completely. That would not be the brightest idea. He stood up.

“Go back to sleep,” he said before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

**** 

“Oh, so you did decide to show up here after all,” he was greeted by Leon’s tightly-irritated voice the minute he stepped through the dark doors of the grand hall. “So nice of you!”

“Hey,” Stratos gave him a light nod and a wide smile – he couldn’t stop smiling all morning for some reason.

Leon closed his eyes for several seconds, silently moving his lips as if slowly counting to ten.

“Where the hell have you been?” He finally opened his eyes, his expression tight and restrained. “And why the hell weren’t you answering your phone?”

“Oh...” Stratos frowned and fished the phone out of his pocket. He never turned it back on last night, he realized. He pushed the red button on top. “Forgot to turn it on,” he said without much regret. “Oh, yeah...” He let out a quick grin. “You called...! I have...” He frowned. “Twenty five missed calls from you...?” He threw a quick glance at his manager, who looked like he was trying his best to keep himself from doing Stratos some bodily harm right now. “Sorry,” Stratos said quickly. “I’ll buy you lunch,” he promised with a firm nod.

Leon gritted his teeth and closed his eyes again. When he opened them, he looked calmer.

“Where have you been?” he asked in a less hostile tone of voice, and Stratos just vaguely waved his hand, heading towards the stage. “And what’s with you...?” Leon narrowed his eyes at Stratos’ expression. “Don’t tell me that you are high!” His intonation was sharp again.

Stratos rolled his eyes.

“I am not high,” he said and hopped on stage, ignoring possible splinters from the polished wood. “I just...” He paused, and then shrugged. “I had a good night sleep,” he nodded and sat down on the bench in front of the piano, lightly running his fingers over the immaculate keys.

“I’d say...” Leon said slowly, still studying his friend’s expression with narrowed eyes. “You look like you got laid for the first time ever...”

Stratos blinked at that.

“Funny you should say that...” he muttered, and Leon frowned.

“Say what?” he asked, and Stratos quickly shook his head.

“Never mind,” he threw him a brief glance. “I’m gonna warm up on a few scales.”

He started playing, waking up his cold fingers, and warming up his somewhat stiff muscles.

“Say what...?” Leon muttered without looking at him this time, ignoring the quick, flawless runs of the scale. “You look like you got laid for the first time ev...”

Suddenly, he stopped talking and stared at one of the chairs in front of him, without blinking. A minute later, he let out a slow, disbelieving laughter.

“You gotta be kidding me...” he muttered, and hopped onto the stage as well.

He walked up to the black instrument and stopped, slightly leaning on the side of it with his elbow. Stratos threw him a questioning glance without interrupting brilliant runs of arpeggios.

“I was right, huh?” Leon said in a low voice, and the arpeggios came to a hesitant, brief pause.

“What?” Stratos narrowed his eyes and leaned towards him. “I didn’t hear what you...”

“Finally fucked him last night, didn’t you?” Leon interrupted him in the same low voice, and the arpeggios stopped completely. “What did you do?” he continued, ignoring stunned silence. “Got fed up with your own bullshit about forcing and free will, bent him over the counter, and pounded his brains out...?” He laughed shortly. “Like you should have, three weeks ago...”

“No...” Stratos said slowly, feeling the smile start sliding away. “I didn’t force him into anything...”

“Then what?” Leon sounded amused and strangely dark right now. “Drugged him...?”

“No,” Stratos said louder, smile gone completely by now. “What is wrong with you...? I didn’t force him and I didn’t drug him!” He lowered his hands. “He wanted it...” he said in a quieter manner.

“Oh?” Leon’s eyebrow shot upwards in a harsh, sarcastic arch. “What did you do?” he asked again. “Promised to leave a twenty on his pillow?”

“What?” Stratos said quietly after several seconds of silence. Leon shrugged.

“He is a whore,” he said casually. “He is supposed to get hard at the sight of money; it’s in his job descr...”

“Don’t!” Stratos interrupted him in the same quiet manner, his throat suddenly tight.

“Touchy...” Leon hemmed without looking away from darkening blue eyes. “Did he come?” he asked in the same casual way.

Stratos felt his jaw lock tighter and tighter.

“That is none of your business,” he said slowly, suppressing dark rage that started stirring deep inside his chest.

“He did, didn’t he?” Leon seemed not to notice or care about his tone of voice and darkening eyes. “You made him come...” He paused, intently studying Stratos’ expression. “And you liked it...” he said slowly. “What did you do?” he asked yet again, his casual manner covering up bubbling anger underneath it like an illusion of snow would cover a streak of black ice. “Jerked him off or was it just some good, old-fashioned ass fucking? Rammed into his prostate until he...”

A sudden, furious slam shut him up mid-sentence and made him jerk involuntarily. For the next few minutes, the silence on stage was only interrupted by whining, echoing complaints of vibrating strings inside the instrument, resonating at the hard smash of the lid.

“I will see you at seven-thirty,” Stratos said very evenly and stood up, avoiding looking at his manager, whose pale expression matched his own.

“The concert starts at eight,” Leon said in the same even manner. “You will need more than half an hour.”

“I will see you at seven-thirty,” Stratos said again and walked to the edge of the brightly lit stage.

He jumped off it and headed towards the door, his shoulders aching from stiff rage that threatened to overthrow him in one furious lash-out. He gritted his teeth and left the hall without looking back.

Leon stood still for a minute or two, alone in the grand hall, his expression unreadable. Finally, he blinked, and slowly walked towards the table that was sitting behind the door leading on stage. He looked at the big decanter on top of it – he would always keep this decanter here, making sure it was filled with water – and suddenly, he grabbed the heavy bottle and threw it into the wall. The decanter exploded with sharp glass and crystal water, and Leon stood still once again, breathing fast, staring at the broken, wet mess on the floor.

**** 

Stratos walked outside and glanced at his car that was parked not too far from the building, silent snowflakes dancing on the dark windshield. He turned away from the car a second later, and started walking, feeling like he couldn’t even touch the steering wheel right now, everything around him shimmering with dull-red haze.

He walked through thickening snow, feeling strangely comforted by it, and half an hour later, he was much calmer. “What the hell was that?” he thought with a frown, remembering silent rage that danced in Leon’s usually laughing brown eyes. “He is pissed at me for not answering the phone...? Strange way to take it out on someone...”

He gritted his teeth, feeling the same dark anger that he finally tamed, to start waking up again, and stopped thinking about Leon, making his mind flash with a bright image of golden eyes. That did the trick, and anger inside him growled something half-heartedly and became dormant again. He made it to his house an hour later, thinking that snow made everything around him to look cleaner, as if it purified it somehow. He turned the doorknob, sighed when it wouldn’t budge, and found his keys in one of the pockets.

He walked inside, kicked off his shoes, and pulled off his jacked that was soaked with melting snow. He started walking upstairs towards his bedroom, and suddenly thought:

“This is too weird...”

He blinked and slightly slowed down without letting go of the railing of the stairs. What was too weird...? Then he knew. This whole thing was too weird – him, feeling this way about Gemini, the strange, silent bond between them, the weird feeling that he knew the blond kelari for his entire life, the feeling that he had finally found the missing piece of himself... Hell, even sleeping in the same bed was weird – Stratos had never done that before; he wouldn’t even take toys into his bed when he was a kid. He tried sleeping with his stuffed bear once when he was six, and as a result, he couldn’t fall asleep until almost three in the morning, until he tossed the toy into the closet and slammed the door shut. Sleep came immediately after he did that. Last night, however, he felt completely opposite of his life-long habit – he had to have Gemini next to him; he had to feel his breath on his skin; he had to drink his pulse...

He stopped in the middle of the stairs, blindly staring at one of the steps. Sure, he had heard of love at first sight, but come on...! Plus, he was sure that he didn’t fall for the blond kelari the minute he saw him. He was intrigued by him, curious, turned on, but that was it, nothing else. This was too weird, he thought again without looking away from the beige carpet on the steps of the stairs. Things like this don’t just happen; people don’t start feeling this way out of the blue, for no reason... It takes time to start feeling this way and definitely longer than three weeks in the same house and one night together.

He resumed his slow walking, heading towards his bedroom again. He is going to figure this out, he thought with determination; he is going to put everything back where it belonged, to return everything to the same flawless, usual, comfortable pace; he is going to...

...unleash his rage onto anyone who would even touch Gemini if he didn’t want it, he nodded when he opened the door and walked into the bedroom. He looked at the perfect form sleeping on the bed, half-covered by the light blanket, drowning in its own golden hair, and all doubts, reasons, and rationalizing immediately flew out of the window, leaving behind nothing but the same feeling of strong bond; the feeling that made him realize that as long as they were together, everything was right with the world. Right and...

“...perfect,” he said quietly and walked towards the bed, silently closing the door.

****  

Leon was still trying to figure out what the hell happened, and how, for that matter. There he was, two hours ago, completely alone on the brightly lit stage at 7:40 in the evening, with Stratos nowhere in sight, and not a single idea in his head on what to do next. Every single ticket to this particular concert had been sold – Stratos’ recent eccentricity (read: courting a goddamn whore) had attracted people better than a splash of honey would attract a cloud of flies, and the good, old-fashioned rumor mill proved itself to be a great sales pitch. Therefore, there was a crowd of people behind the locked doors; people who were getting more and more anxious about the fact that they couldn’t get to their seats in timely fashion – usually, the doors would be open at least half an hour before the concert. Leon knew that it was only a question of time (short time, for that matter) before ‘anxious’ would start turning into ‘pissed off,’ and since he didn’t have a slightest clue on the musician’s whereabouts, he was trying to think of the safest way out of the building, knowing that a pissed off crowd was rarely a civilized one.

Then, at 7:43, right before Leon decided to make one last phone call to the nearest morgue (he was out of other ideas), there was Stratos, waltzing into the back door, somehow avoiding being noticed, calm as ever, completely content, and with that goddamn kelari in tow. Leon was so relieved that he didn’t even bother with “Are you bloody kidding me?”

“I will tell them to wait until eight-thirty,” he said instead, meaning the audience behind the locked doors. “I’ll just say that there was some emergency, and hope to God that they buy it...!”

“No need,” Stratos replied in a serene manner that made Leon silently grit his teeth. “Let them in.”

“You have to warm up... You could never pull off cold hands,” Leon said quietly, doing his best to ignore that damn kelari – the mere sight of him made his teeth ache for more than just one reason – even though he had to admit (grudgingly so) that the golden hair looked striking against his all-black attire.

Stratos gave him a smile that didn’t help the entire matter a single bit.

“My hands are fine,” he said and walked towards the front row, never letting go of Gemini’s hand. “Choose one,” he said after looking at the dark-red velvet chairs.

He let out another smile, this one aimed at Gemini, and Leon turned away, trying to tame his growing jealous rage. At first (three weeks ago), the very idea of getting jealous because of a kelari was ludicrous to say the least. After all, how can one be jealous of a sex doll?

Well, by now, the idea was anything but ludicrous. When he saw Stratos’ expression earlier today (all glow, content, and pure satiation), and when he figured out the reason for that expression, his first impulse was to drive to Stratos’ house, grab that damn kelari, and smash his head on the wall until his skull cracked open. Stratos had never worn that expression when he was with Leon. He would look very satisfied but he would never glow.

Stratos never knew that after he dumped Leon four years ago (something that to the other man felt like a very vivid nightmare for quite a while after it happened), Leon has never stopped loving him with the same heavy, dark, gnawing desperation as he did before. Ever since they got together for the very first time, Leon felt as if he completely lost his ability to care about anyone but the blue-eyed musician.

He acted in his usual cool, professional manner, knowing that was the only way to act around Stratos, perfectly aware of his non-confrontational, avoiding ways. He knew that sooner or later, he would be able to return everything to the way it was four years ago; he knew that eventually, Stratos would succumb, even though just to avoid another confrontation. He knew that he could make him feel something again. He could make him care.

Not rushing was the key; Leon would never rush something like this – he knew better. He had no problem with waiting – he had enough patience. So, everything was going the way it was supposed to go; everything was unraveling according to the plan, in a promising way, until Loreya decided to be a complete idiot, giving her brother that goddamn kelari as a birthday present.

At first, Leon found the whole thing rather amusing, wondering how long Stratos would keep his new toy around – he knew that the musician could get bored with things quite quickly. The first red flag popped up on that Sunday night, three weeks ago, when Stratos all but kicked him out of the house, going batshit for no apparent reason.

Leon decided to ignore his every single instinct (even though he should’ve known better by now – his instincts were rarely wrong, if ever) and blamed the incident on Stratos’ lack of sleep and copious amounts of stress.

Well, a week or so later, it was obvious that stress had nothing to do with the whole picture, and neither did lack of sleep. To Leon’s disbelieving surprise, Stratos was treating that goddamn kelari as if he was an actual person and not just a reusable sex doll. “I would never force him into anything,” he said to Leon one of those days. “And I would never let anyone to do that.”

That was the day when Leon felt a sharp stab of jealousy for the first time. He tried his best to ignore it in the beginning, figuring that Stratos’ new obsession wouldn’t last much longer, but then, after he realized that the other man hasn’t even touched that damn kelari yet (because apparently, it was something that thing didn’t want), he couldn’t ignore the feeling any longer. He didn’t want it? Leon couldn’t believe this. Stratos was never the type to care much about what someone else would’ve wanted – if he desired something, he would get it one way or another, Leon knew that from personal experience. Stratos wasn’t a type who would use a lot of force (in fact, the musician has never believed in force), but he could come up with quite a few very creative ways of getting what he wanted – the man was artistic in every meaning of the word. The fact that Stratos actually cared about what that kelari wanted, made Leon’s blood boil.

Stratos’ glowing, content expression this afternoon was the last straw. Leon was perfectly aware that he was making a hell of a mistake unleashing on Stratos the way he did, but he couldn’t help it – it was as if someone else suddenly became in charge of his speaking abilities. By now – 7:45 in the evening – Leon has finally managed to get himself under control, figuring that he would deal with problems one by one, on the scale of importance. The upcoming disaster of a performance was definitely the bigger evil right now. The whole ‘strangle-that-goddamn-kelari’ thing could wait.

He knew that this particular performance was going to be a complete and utter failure, and he feverishly hoped that it wouldn’t be enough to tank Stratos’ career. The fact that Gemini was sitting in the front row, which was immediately noticed by every single person in the audience, didn’t help a single bit. Leon closed his eyes in defeat when all the whispers and murmurs didn’t die off even when Stratos came out on stage – they grew louder instead. This was the end of it, Leon thought without opening his eyes. Stratos was done as a soloist, and Leon’s managing career was over as well. They were done, he thought, trying to figure out their next steps when Stratos started playing, and all of a sudden, every single whisper in the hall immediately cut off, just like that.

Leon listened to the music, staring at the stage without blinking, and he realized that this particular performance was a different one – it stood several levels above everything Stratos had done up until now. Everything – every single chord, every single note – was simply perfect. Not just the precision, not just the brilliance (Stratos rarely missed the right notes), but this time, there was this strange, powerful aura that affected everyone in the audience. This time, there was breath behind the difficult passages and brilliant runs. This time, it was pure, unleaded inspiration that was bursting through the music, creating its own shapes and worlds. This time, there was life.

Leon had no idea what the hell happened, and how, for that matter. The only things he knew were that the concert was a raging success, Stratos’ latest ‘eccentricity’ (and all the future ones) was forgiven, and that the reason for the musician’s unreal inspiration was sitting in the front row with its back rigidly straight and its hands clasped tightly in its lap. Leon felt dizzy when a sudden, powerful desire to lock his fingers around that long neck and squeeze it until it snapped, hit him without any warning. He felt his fingers twitch involuntarily, and that was when the last chord finally died off in the air, and several silent seconds later, the entire hall exploded with applause.

He joined in and felt another hateful jolt when Stratos’ eyes lingered on the front row a little bit too long, making him realize that this was what would happen from now on – Stratos would bring that goddamn kelari to his every single performance. “I don’t think I can handle it for too long,” he thought and plastered a smile on his face, never stopping his applause. “I know I can’t handle it for too long...”

Applause finally started to come down, and he took a deep breath and quickly walked backstage, figuring that he would deal with this later when he was alone. Right now, there was the after-party he had to concentrate on – he had to make sure everything was under control. After a performance like this one, the after-party perfection was a must.