Eternity - 14. Chapter Fourteen

"Mom and dad will be here tomorrow," Kyle said, looking down at where Jared lay with his head in Kyle's lap.

"I know babe," Jared said, looking into Kyle's eyes. Over the past couple of days, Kyle had refused to talk much about Chelsea and Jared knew that it had to be tearing him apart inside. As much as he hated to bring it up, he had to get Kyle to talk about how he was feeling. Sitting up, Jared braced his back against the corner of the couch and pulled Kyle over to lie in his lap. "Kyle, we need to talk," Jared said, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

"I know we do," Kyle said, sighing. He had known that this was going to come up. He had been decidedly close-mouthed about everything that had happened with Chelsea. Kyle knew that it was driving Jared nuts; he just didn't know how to put into words the way that he was feeling. Being mindful of Jared's stitches, Kyle snuggled close to his boyfriend and let out a sigh. "It's just hard to actually put everything into words," Kyle said, echoing his thoughts of a moment before.

"I know it had to be hard Kyle, I feel the same way. There are so many thoughts that it's so hard to organize them or to say them out loud, but we have to talk about it. Not talking about it isn't going to make it go away."

"I know babe. I just can't believe that it was Chelsea this whole time. A part of me keeps denying it, even though I know it's true. Shit Jared, I grew up with her and I thought that I knew her. It's still hard to separate the little sister I knew from the person who attacked you. Somewhere in my mind they are still two completely different people."

"That's completely understandable babe. I would probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes right now. I wish that I could say I personally understand, but I'd be lying if I did. I can't know how you're feeling and neither can anybody else; unless they've been through the exact same thing."

"I know there are other people out there who have had to deal with this same shit Jared, but it's just so hard. I just don't know how to deal with it I guess. It's like, the more I think about it, the more tangled everything gets in my mind. I just wish I could have talked to her, found out why she hated me so much."

"Well, I already told you the reasons that she gave me," Jared said, grimacing as he recalled the pure hate in Chelsea's words and voice. "I know that it isn't much of a consolation since you didn't hear it from her, but there was nothing I could do Kyle."

"Oh shit," Kyle said, shooting up from where he was laying. "Jared, please don't say that you blame yourself for what happened to Chels."

"Don't worry," Jared said, pulling Kyle back to his previous position. "I know that there was nothing that I could have said or done differently; I just wish that the outcome had been different. I want you to have the answers you need Kyle."

"I'll never have all the answers Jared, and honestly, I'm okay with that. Yeah, it hurts, but the worst of it is, trying to figure out exactly what I did that could make her hate me that much. I can only guess at some of what she must have been thinking. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I included her enough in the things I did, or did I push her aside too much. Dad told me that he thinks the final straw with Chels was the fact that he and mom were so accepting of me being gay."

"That's very likely the case, but that's something we'll never know," Jared said before stiffening suddenly. "Kyle," Jared said, a thought just occurring to him. "Did Chels keep a journal or anything that you know of?"

"No, not that I know of, why?"

"Well, if she's had these feelings for so long and not showed any of them, don't you think that she would have to have some other way to get out the things she was thinking?"

"That could be an idea," Kyle said, weighing his words carefully. "I don't know though if I'd want to read it if she did keep a journal. I know that I want answers, but I don't think I'm quite ready for them, maybe I never will be. Besides, don't you think if the police find a journal that they're going to use it as evidence?"

"Normally, yes, they would use it as evidence. I think the rules change a little bit though when they can't have a trial. I mean, who are they going to present the evidence to? There's no judge and no jury. If they do find a journal then I'm sure that they'll go over it to make sure that there was no one else in on everything, but I do think you could get it released from evidence after a period of time."

"I'll look into it, but right now, I honestly don't feel like really talking about Chels. I know I need to, but I think I need a little more time to absorb everything that I already know," Kyle said, sighing softly as he settled back into Jared.

"Understandable, and I promise, I won't bring it up again; but Kyle, just know that when you're ready to talk I'll be here waiting with open ears, okay?"

"I never doubted that for a second babe. It's just going to take some time to get all my thoughts in order to where I can really talk about them in depth. There are so many things I'm feeling and yet some of them are so contradictory that they don't even make sense to me."

"That's to be expected Kyle, but take your time getting everything organized, there's no rush on it. It'll take time to sort out why you're feeling the way you are, though some of it is a bit more obvious. Now, I know that you don't want to talk about it anymore, so, what's the plan for today?"

"Hmmm, can we just stay like this for the entire day?" Kyle asked, feeling content to just remain where he was.

"As much as I wish that we could babe, we do have stuff we have to get done whether we want to or not. Your mom and dad are getting here tomorrow and we desperately need to restock the fridge."

"Awe, do I hafta," Kyle said, imitating a whiny little kid.

"Yes brat," Jared responded, smacking Kyle lightly on the shoulder. "You hafta. Unless you plan on making your parents go out to eat every night."

"Now there's an idea," Kyle said, thankful that the mood had lightened considerably. "It beats having dishes and stuff to do," Kyle continued, knowing that Jared would never go for the idea.

"There's a dishwasher babe, so that excuse is not gonna work. We are going grocery shopping; besides, remember the last time we went grocery shopping together?" Jared asked, smiling mischievously.

"Oh boy, you just had to bring that up," Kyle grinned, remembering how open and playful Jared had been the last time the two of them had gone to the grocery store. Jared had been in a weird mood that day and a lot of the stuff they got, Jared had tormented Kyle by telling him how it could be used in their sex life. It had been interesting to say the least and by the time they had left the grocery store Kyle had been hard as a rock and leaking in his jeans. Kyle had teased Jared for days about having some weird food fetish.

"Don't even think about it," Jared said, knowing that Kyle was thinking of the ensuing joke of Jared having a food fetish.

"Think about what?" Kyle said, plastering an innocent look on his face.

"Oh never mind, I'm not even going into it, and you know that look doesn't work on me," Jared said laughing. "Now, let's go get our shower and head out, after that we'll get the spare room done and then and only then can we relax."

"A shower sounds good to me," Kyle said, a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"Oh no you don't, we've still got at least three more days buster. If you don't behave then I may just make you take your shower alone," Jared said laughing.

"Well you're just no fun," Kyle said, climbing up off the couch. Waiting for Jared, Kyle dug his toes into the plush carpet. The first night after Chelsea was killed, Kyle had ended up taking Jared to a hotel until he could have some of his guys come in the next day and replace the living room carpet. As much as he had wanted to stay at home there was no way he could have handled Chelsea's blood on the carpet. He had ended up simply pulling some of his crew off one of the current projects for a few hours and by the next afternoon they had new carpet.

Climbing up off the couch, Jared noticed how Kyle's gaze had been drawn to the spot where Chelsea had been shot. He knew that Kyle had begun thinking of how they'd had to have the carpet replaced before they could stay in the apartment. Taking Kyle's hand he pulled him gently but firmly towards the bedroom, determined to try and make Kyle forget; at least for a while. Once in the bedroom, Jared made quick work of stripping Kyle out of his clothes before slipping out his own. Leading Kyle into the bathroom, Jared turned the water in the shower on before grabbing the bandaging supplies.

"Kyle?"

"Hmm?"

"Can ya give me some help here?" Jared asked lightly.

"Sure, what do ya need?" Kyle asked, still not completely there.

Shaking his head slightly, Jared turned Kyle's hand over and put the bandage and the waterproof tape into Kyle's upturned palm. It seemed to bring Kyle slightly out of his daze, but Kyle was still like a robot as he placed the bandage over the stitches and taped it into place. Leaning up, Jared placed a gentle kiss on Kyle's lips, thankful when Kyle returned the slight pressure. Over the past couple of days they'd had a few of these moments, moments when Kyle seemed to just sort of drift off and function on autopilot.

Jared helped Kyle climb into the shower, thankful when the warm water seemed to start bringing Kyle back to the present. Adjusting the shower head so that it beat down on Kyle's back, Jared reached for the soap and lathered his hands. Setting the soap back in the holder, Jared laid his hands gently on Kyle's chest. Running his hands lightly over the muscles of Kyle's abdomen, Jared then moved higher, soaping Kyle's pectorals and playing lightly with Kyle's nipples. At Kyle's low moan, Jared lightly pinched Kyle's nipples before sliding his hands lower. Jared smiled to himself as he moved lower, noticing that Kyle's flaccid member was getting harder. Jared slid his soapy hands sensually over Kyle's hips and into the hair surrounding Kyle's hardening cock.

Encouraged by Kyle's throaty moans, Jared slid his hands slowly lower, cupping Kyle's balls gently in his hands. Jared's soapy hands ensured he wouldn't squeeze too tightly as he massaged Kyle's nuts. Jared's hands slid slowly over, his fingers squeezing lightly on Kyle's thigh, massaging some of the tenseness out before moving down each leg, massaging as he went. Retracing his steps, Jared made his way back up to where Kyle was hard and throbbing. Taking Kyle gently in his hands, Jared slid his soapy hands over Kyle's length, squeezing softly and feeling Kyle throb in his hand. Releasing Kyle, Jared slid his hands around and up to cup Kyle's ass cheeks. Feeling the water sliding over his hands, Jared used his body to push Kyle lightly back so that the water cascaded over Kyle's shoulders, washing the soap down the drain.

Jared used his hands to pull Kyle forward slightly as Jared moved closer and lightly grazed Kyle's right thigh with his lips before moving and doing the same to the left. Kissing his way slowly upwards, Jared places a gentle kiss to Kyle's family jewels before licking up Kyle's shaft and around the head.

"Jared, we can't," Kyle moaned softly, looking down at his lover, wanting what Jared was doing to him, yet afraid to let it go any further.

"Let me do this for you Kyle," Jared said softly before placing his lips on the head of Kyle's cock. Before Kyle could object further, Jared slid his lips over the crown, taking just the head into his mouth and sucking lightly, looking into Kyle's eyes.

"Oh god," Kyle groaned, feeling a shiver course through his body as Jared's warm mouth engulfed him. Kyle knew that he wouldn't last long, it had been too long since he'd felt a warm mouth on him. There was no way that he could withstand the pure pleasure that Jared was giving him. Kyle watched as Jared slid his mouth down more of his aching flesh, his hands moving instinctively to Jared's head, tangling lightly in his hair. There was something extremely sensual about watching as more of his cock slid into Jared's loving mouth and Kyle could feel himself reaching his peak as Jared worked him. Kyle groaned loudly as he felt himself hit the back of Jared's throat before Jared relaxed his throat muscles and the head of Kyle's cock moved into his throat. Kyle lost what little control he had on his approaching orgasm as he felt Jared swallow, his throat contracting around the sensitive underside of the head.

"Oh god Jared," Kyle whimpered as spasm's shook his body and cum flowed from the end of his cock, shooting down Jared's throat. Kyle almost screamed in pleasure as Jared continued swallowing, causing rockets of pleasure to shoot through Kyle's entire body. Kyle couldn't stop the slight whimper as Jared pulled off of his softening member, placing one last kiss on the head before kissing his way back up Kyle's body. Once Jared was back on his feet, Kyle cupped Jared's face and brought Jared's lips to his, kissing him tenderly. "You didn't have to do that baby," Kyle whispered, pulling back from the kiss and then resting his forehead against Jared's.

"I know I didn't have to," Jared answered, "I wanted to."

Kissing him again, Kyle pulled back and grabbed the soap before running his hands lightly over Jared's body. Kyle planned on giving Jared the exact same treatment that Jared had given him, but within seconds of running his soapy hands over Jared's cock, Jared erupted, filling the bathroom with the sounds of him groaning and covering Kyle's stomach in his cum.

"Babe, I was gonna," Kyle started when Jared stopped shooting, only to be interrupted by Jared.

"I know you were, but I was just a bit too keyed up," Jared said, not all that surprised that he had cum so quickly. The sensation of Kyle in his mouth had already gotten him extremely close to the edge and the mere touch of Kyle's hand on him had sent him over the edge.

Knowing that they were soon going to run out of hot water, Kyle kissed Jared before dipping his head in the spray and reaching for the shampoo. He had just popped the lid off the shampoo when Jared took it out of his hands and turned him around.

"Let me," Jared said softly.

Kyle tipped his head back and sighed as he felt Jared's hands slowly massaging his scalp, working the shampoo to a rich lather. Kyle decided then and there that having someone else wash one's hair had to be one of the most sensuous experiences that a person could have. Kyle felt Jared place a fleeting kiss on his shoulder and hurried and rinsed his hair before turning and wrapping his arms around Jared.

"I love you," Kyle whispered, holding Jared close to him.

"I love you too babe," Jared answered before pressing his lips against Kyle's. He felt Kyle's tongue probing, searching for entrance and willingly let Kyle's tongue slide in to mate with his. Jared didn't know how long the kiss had gone on when Kyle jerked back with a yelp. "What's the matter babe?"

"Damn hot water ran out," Kyle said, reaching down to turn the faucet off. "I'm sorry babe, we didn't get a chance to wash your hair."

"No worries babe, we might just have to take another shower later," Jared said, grinning as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist before pulling the tape and bandage covering his stitches off.

Kyle and Jared made their way into the bedroom and, amidst long passionate kisses and fleeting touches, they managed to get dressed. On their way out the door for groceries, Kyle keyed in the code to activate the new alarm system that he had had put in. He had decided that he wasn't taking any more chances with his or Jared's safety and had called and had the alarm system installed the same day as the carpet.

"Any word on how long it will take to fix the truck?" Jared asked as he and Kyle walked down the stairs, hand in hand.

"It may not even be fixable, they're still looking at it," Kyle said, as they reached Jared's truck.

"Just about anything can be fixed nowadays, so be patient, I'm sure you'll get your baby back," Jared said grinning as he unlocked the truck and hit the button for the locks so that Kyle could climb in. What he wasn't prepared for was Kyle coming around to the driver's side of the truck and taking him in his arms.

"I've got my baby right here, the truck is just a bonus," Kyle said softly, smiling as he looked into Jared's eyes.