For Everything You Are - 5. Dear Jake...

Jake was wrapped up in his bed under the blankets, watching something nondescript on TV, thinking, as usual, about Cody. Their 'relationship', if you could call it that, had not really developed into anything substantial; at least that's the way Jake felt about it. Each time he approached Cody on the subject, he seemed indifferent and even cold at times. Jake himself was not helping matters when he kept brushing away Cody's attempts to discuss the future, like if they actually planned to stay in contact, and how. This was something that Jake found pointless. Cody's point of view was that he did not want to get into anything profound because of his friend's pending departure, something that Jake didn't seem to get - he wanted more, regardless. Both attitudes were causing friction in their friendship, to the point they didn't even see each other over the Christmas period. Cody had made some excuse, saying that family was visiting every day, but Jake knew better.

The fact that Christmas came and went without any contact was upsetting. They always spent at least a few hours together and would generally have some kind of cheap present to give the other. Last year, for example, Cody had purchased a Yoyo for Jake with his name on it. It was a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but Jake treasured it, even if he only used it once.

Morning came, and Jake got out of bed, feeling depressed, an emotional state that was becoming the norm for him. His parents were pressuring him to see a specialist since his 'episode,' as they referred to it, but Jake was resisting the idea, claiming he was fine, much to the worry of Jenny.

"Morning, Jake," Jenny said as he sat at the table, slumping his elbows on the table, and his hands on his cheeks.

"Morning," came a grunted reply.

"Well, someone is in a good mood this morning," Jenny continued, whipping up some scrambled eggs for Alan, who was not even out of bed himself.

"Well, as I said before, mum, you and dad are content in ruining my life, so what is there to be happy about anymore?"

"Jake, you really have to try and embrace this. I know things are difficult, and maybe you and Cody are…."

"Don't bring him into this," he cut her off sharply. "It's because of you he doesn't want much to do with me anymore."

"I'm really sure that's not true, Jake. Have you two even tried to talk to each other about your…about stuff?" Jake let out a sigh as he thought of Cody.

"It's like he's avoiding me, mum. I mean, everything seemed to be okay after I came home from the hospital; you know, we talked about stuff…a lot. But now, it's like he has gone inside himself, and I don't know what I'm supposed to say to him." Jenny put the eggs on a warm plate, called up to Alan, and sat down next to Jake.

"You know, I'm not saying this is easy for you, but have you actually considered how he might be dealing with this?" she asked, softly stroking his wrist. "I don't know how he feels for you, but if he feels anything, this is going to be really hard for him to accept and deal with. Perhaps he is acting the way he is because…I don't know, to protect himself, maybe?"

"From what?" Jake asked, looking his mother in the eyes.

"From his feelings for you would be my guess," Jenny replied.

"But..."

"You two should talk!" Jenny gave a caring but stern look. "There is nothing I can do or say to make things better for the both of you. That's something you need to work out. But Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever you do, make peace with each other before it's too late. Otherwise, you'll both regret it."

"I smell eggs," Alan said, walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

"They're on the side, help yourself," Jenny pointed.

Jake went back upstairs to get dressed and then planned to call for Cody. They needed to talk; his mum was right, but this time he was not going to grace Cody with a phone call, so he could make some excuse. He was going to just turn up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Cody, phone!" Hazel shouted to her son.

"Coming," he shouted back. He had just finished taking care of the morning wood in the bathroom before washing away the evidence. Well, it seemed a shame to waste a perfectly good hard-on, he thought, as he stepped out of the shower, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist and running downstairs.

"Hello?" he said, slightly out of breath.

"Banging some dirty chick again, Cody, you dog?"

"Kit! Uh… and no, sorry to disappoint you. I was in the shower, had to rush down," Cody said, rolling his eyes.

"Listen, man, you wanna do something like hang out? I got this new helicopter thing for Christmas that you can fly, and I've been dying to try it out, now the winds have dropped," Kit said excitedly.

"Well, I guess I could", Cody replied hesitantly. Typically he would be attached to Jake at the hip over the school holidays, but Cody found himself with ample time on his hands, and joining Kit might kill two birds with one stone - give him some company and take his mind off Jake. "I'll meet you at the park in thirty."

"You got it, Cody. See you there." There was a click, and the line went dead. Cody went to get some clothes on when there was a knock at the front door. He could hear his mum talking to someone but could not hear what was being said. He began to pull a sweater over his head, and as his face reappeared from under the garment, he saw Jake standing in his bedroom doorway, looking not overly happy.

"You're avoiding me!" Jake was first to speak.

"Am not!"

"Seems that way to me."

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I just been busy, that's all!"

"With what?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering!"

"With stuff, okay?"

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, Jake, stuff…what the fuck is this, anyway? What am I on trial; do I have to check in with you daily? Is that it?"

"I'm sorry," Jake sighed and shook his head. "I just…you know, feel like something is different between us, and not in a good way, or the way I expected."

"And what did you expect, Jake? You're moving."

"I know. Can we talk?"

"We are talking!"

"I mean, somewhere private, Cody?"

"Well, I'm actually meeting someone." Jake suggestively looked at Cody, and Cody just rolled his eyes. "It's Kit, he's straight remember, and what, since you kis…," Cody poked his head out his door – no one was there. "Since we kissed, you think I've turned into some slut in that time?" He hissed. "Not that I should have to explain myself."

"You made that clear," Jake muttered under his breath. Cody heard but decided not to bite back.

"Look, I'll come over tonight, and we'll go somewhere and talk, okay? But I really don't see how it's gonna help."

"Cody, how can you say that? God, this is so…."

"Fucked up?" Cody finished for him. "Yeah, well, it's been fucked up since you found out, so what the hell, Jake; let's just move on from that because it's starting to get boring now."

"Guess that's my cue to fuck off, then." Jake shrugged angrily. Turning on his heels. Cody sighed and grabbed Jake by the shoulder.

"Look…I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just tired of the emotions, Jake. I'm tired of feeling shit and down about this. Listen, I gotta go and meet Kit, but I promise I'll come by and see you later, and I'll try and expla… help you understand what's going on in my head, okay?"

"But first, you're gonna go blabbing to Kit about how ridiculous I'm being and what a…."

"Jake, for fuck sake, can you hear yourself? If it hadn't escaped your attention, I'm just starting to realise who I am, and I'm shit sure I'm not gonna be telling anyone else about me… about us!"

"And what is us, Cody? I mean, is there an us?" Cody looked at Jake and thought about his question before speaking.

"No, Jake, there isn't," he said in a regrettable tone. "And before you ask why, don't think I haven't thought about it because I have, but there can't be an us, and you know that."

"I need to go, Cody, and apparently, so do you." Jake had heard enough.

"Yeah," Cody sighed. "I'll come by and see you, okay?" Jake just nodded, and they walked to the front door, left the driveway, and went in separate directions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alan, please come in and sit down," Trevor said, gesturing Alan towards a seat in his office. "I wanna run over a few things about the move to Nevada. By the way, are you all set?"

"Yeah, just wish my son was," Alan said, shifting back in his seat.

"Jake still not taking it well?" Trevor asked, looking concerned.

"You could say that; he's been walking around like a bear with a saw head since we told him, and after his episode, Jenny is worrying like mad, and it's doing my head in."

"You know, Alan, I've overseen the moving of many staff and their families over the years, and in my experience, things always work out."

"Yeah, I know they will. It's just a little complicated for us at the moment." Alan thought about telling his boss about Jake being gay and how it was hard leaving Cody but decided his boss would not really have anything to add. "So, what did you want to discuss?" he asked, changing the subject slightly.

"Well, I wanted to let you know that we have arranged the plane tickets, and you will be leaving from Gatwick Airport. I have also got word back that the house you will be staying in has been completely stripped and redecorated. So I have also authorised an expenses claim for you to the value of ten thousand dollars, so you can furnish the place."

"That's very kind of you, Trev, thank you. Oh, and by the way, you never did get round to telling me about this place in detail. Can you give me some more info?"

"Be glad to!" Trevor pulled out a few pictures of the house from his desk and laid them out on the table. "It's a nice place, Alan. There are around 200 acres of land out front of the property and two outbuildings.

"Hmm, kinda looks like a ranch," Alan said, chuckling. "And I always imagined it more farm than ranch", He added.

"Well, actually, it was…a ranch, I mean. It's not been used as one anymore since we bought the place. In fact, it was a bit run down, but all the work has been completed now. You have fields out there which are your responsibility, but they will not need any upkeep, as nothing is currently grazing on them."

"And the outbuildings?"

"An old stable and hayshed," Trevor said, pointing to the pictures displaying the buildings.

"So what happened to the ranch?" Alan asked.

"The old guy who owned it died. He had no family, as far as we knew, so we bought it once his estate was sorted".

"And the animals?"

"Animals?"

"Yeah, you said there was a stable and hayshed."

"Oh," Trevor laughed ", No, not anymore. The guy who lived there hadn't had anything living on the ranch for about 5 years. He was too old anyway, so we heard. No, the outbuildings are now empty, so you can use them as you please."

"Great, and what are these houses I can see in the background?" Alan pointed to 4 houses just in the frame in two of the pictures.

"Well, Alan, they are your neighbours. You'll forgive us for not doing background checks on them" He laughed.

"Well, that's kind of good to know Trev. Jenny would go stir crazy living out there all on her own while I'm at work. But, if they are axe murderers, then I'm blaming you," he said, shaking his head smiling.

"Oh, and Alan, we managed to get Jake a school placement there as well, if you feel that's acceptable. The school is about ten miles up the track, but a school bus makes a stop near your place for the other kids who live next to you. You will need to go down and see the Headmaster to discuss further, but they have no problem in enrolment for Jake."

"Wow, you have been busy Trev, thanks for organising all this. It's also good to know there will be people nearby Jake's age. I'm kinda hoping once he makes some new friends, he might cheer up a bit."

"He'll adjust, Alan; it just takes time, that's all."

"I hope for his sake you're right. Anyway, thanks for filling me in on all this stuff, Trev. It's a relief to know that most of the hard work is done. Now, all we got to do is find some storage for some of our personal stuff. I'll see ya."

"Yeah, see ya, Alan." Alan left the office and went back to burying himself back in a pile of documents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Cody, my man! Good, you made it, and dude, you look like shit!" Kit advanced on Cody, slapping his head. Cody was not much in the mood for making an effort in his appearance lately, tending to just throw on creased clothes and leave his normally spikey blond hair to be sculptured by the elements.

"Well, thanks Kit, any other compliments you wanna pay me?" Cody replied, trying to adjust his hair into a tidy style, but was failing miserably.

"Naa man, but hey, it's good to see you. You haven't been at the Youth Club the last couple of Fridays, and I didn't see Jake either. You two okay?"

"Yeah, we… I'm fine. Jake just had some bad news, is all."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he's moving to America," Cody said, dropping his head to the floor.

"Heavy shit, man, I guess you're pretty cut up about that deal. Yeah, I mean, you two go way back. It's funny, I heard Kelly talking about some shit like that to her friend, you know….about him and all, but I thought I heard wrong, so I didn't really pay attention. She reckons you and Jake were having a lovers tiff over something. So it must have been about that." Kit laughed nervously.

"Pfft, Lover's tiff, silly bitch." Cody tried to brush off the comment and avoided Kit's eyes.

"Anyway, Cody, I brought the helicopter. I thought we could take it for a spin round the field if you wanted? It's really cool, and I really haven't had a chance to use it yet, you know, with the wind and all. God, that's been blowing, and I thought I'd call you down here to have a go with me, and we could do some really cool stuff with it, and… Cody, are you gay?"

Cody had been trying to keep up with Kit's blabbering and was not prepared for that question.

"What? I mean, no!" Cody blurted back, with a disgusted look on his face, Kit just staring at him.

"Cos, I'm cool if you are, you know. We live in modern times, and I'm, you know…modern." Cody laughed at Kit, trying to be mature about the whole subject.

"C'mon, Kit, let's go fly." The boys made their way down a hill to an open clearing and set the helicopter down. Kit began to show Cody the controls and what each one did. The weather was holding nicely, and the wind was calm. They spent the next hour or so taking turns to fly the machine while chatting about regular stuff.

"I think I might be," said Cody, trying to concentrate on keeping the helicopter in the air.

"Say what, man?" replied Kit, a bit confused when Cody spoke out of the blue.

"Your question, you know, a while ago. I'm saying, I might be." Cody turned to meet Kit's eyes.

"Sorry, man, I'm confu….oh, I see!" Kit said, the penny finally dropping. "Well, fuck me sideways, I would never have believed it. How long have you known? Hey, and how many guys have you fucked? How do you cope with all the hair and shit? Don't you miss the titties? Oh my god, I never had a gay friend before, this is…."

"Fucking hell, Kit, slow down," Cody said, starting to go a shade of red.

"Oh…sorry, man, I just…you know, it's kind of…dude, this is so unreal." Kit was just smiling, shaking his head.

"Well, you can wipe that smile off your face, and I'm glad to see you're so amused about the whole thing. Oh, and for the record, I have not fucked anyone as you so gracefully put it!" Cody's demeanour became serious, and he turned away from Kit.

Seeing that his big mouth had gotten away from him again, Kit went up behind Cody, put his hand on his shoulder, and sighed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I'm not sure it would help, Kit. Everything is so fucked up right now, I'm not sure what to do," Cody replied, raising his head to the sky, looking at nothing in particular.

"Come on, man, let's go sit down," Kit gestured to an old tree trunk a few feet away from where they were standing. They both sat staring straight ahead into the distance, the rotten bark digging into their butts until Kit spoke up.

"You probably think I'm a stupid fucker, don't you?"

"Sometimes, Kit," Cody managed a chuckle. "But, hey, I get that you're interested and all. I just didn't think you would get so excited about it."

"Yeah, sorry about that. It was more of a nervous thing, really, but I meant what I said, you know, about me being cool with it."

"Yeah, I know, Kit, and thanks, you're a good buddy." The boys tapped fists, and then silence ensued until Cody spoke again. "Kit?"

"Yeah, man?"

"You know, I said Jake was moving to America?"

"Yeah."

Cody sighed, "God, I can't believe I'm actually telling anyone this. Well, we, um….I mean, it's complicated, you know, with him. He's cut up about it."

"Yeah, I guess he would be, man, that's some heavy shit."

"Yeah, heavy, but he's cut up about leaving me, and I am, too, and I guess that's what I don't know how to deal with right now."

"Well, Cody, I can get that. You two have been friends like, forever."

"It's more than that, Kit! I mean, there is more to it than that." Cody shifted in his seated position to get a read of Kit's face – he was thinking.

"Wait a minute, do you mean you and Jake are…."

"No, we're not, but we could have been," Cody finished.

Cody went on to explain what had happened over the last few weeks and how Jake had ended up in hospital. He explained why he was unable to deal with the confession that Jake was in love with him and how they were barely talking at the moment.

"Fuck, man, I didn't know it was that deep," Kit said after a while.

"Yeah, so now you see why we haven't been at the Youth Club. But, damn, I mean, we can't even be in the same room lately."

"So, um, do your parents know?"

"His do, but mine…fuck no."

"You think they would take it badly, you know if you told them?"

"The thought of that actually makes me feel sick, Kit. My parents are totally different from Jake's, not to mention the whole church thing they are part of." Cody shuddered, thinking what would happen if his parents had to face the church, knowing they had a gay son.

"So you are, then?"

"What?" Cody asked, wondering what exactly Kit was asking.

"Gay? I mean, you said earlier you thought you might be, and now…." Kit trailed off.

"I guess after talking my feelings through with you, I realise that I must be. It's funny; you know, I never thought I would just accept it like this. Guess I just needed to tell someone. It's been so hard, you know, with just Jake knowing, and with him being part of the problem, it's not…."

"Yeah, I guess you needed an outsider to make it all make sense; I get it," Kit finished for him. Cody grabbed Kit by the neck and pulled his head against his chest.

"Kit, you're a good friend, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know", replied Kit teasingly. "C'mon, let's head back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake was at home on the internet, looking at google maps, trying to figure out what Nevada was actually like. But, unfortunately, all he could see were a few towns and miles of desert before his eyes. 'This is shit', he thought, as he clicked away, scrolling the satellite map over desert, desert and more desert.

"At least it will be warmer weather," his mother said, standing behind him, making him jump.

"You could knock, you know," grunted Jake, not bothering to turn round. "Mum, this place looks like a nightmare. There's nothing here!" Jenny sighed and went and sat on Jake's bed

"Jake? You know, when I married your father, I had an image in my head as to what my life was going to be like. I wanted children, a nice home, and family all around me. But, the fact that you are an only child means that sometimes things don't always turn out the way we plan in life. I'm blessed that I was actually able to have you after being told I couldn't have any children. From that moment, I decided, when it came to life and its challenges, it was better to just go with the flow and try and make the best of what you have and to accept that, sometimes, things happen for a reason."

"Your point being?" Jake asked, not really knowing where his mother was going with this.

"My point being, Jake, is that, okay, you might have had a picture in your head as to how your life was going to go, but as I said, change happens sometimes. So instead of looking at this move as the end of the world, try and embrace it as a new chapter in your life. I'm not saying that you will fall in love with Nevada, but don't you feel just a tiny bit curious?"

Jake sat thoughtfully for a moment about what his mother had just said. He never really thought of it the way she explained, and to him, it had always seemed like he was getting a raw deal. But the truth of the matter was, it was a move they were all making. They were all choosing to make a change, to uproot. They all had their own feelings about moving away, even the people that were being left behind - his family, Cody, and his other friends that he had told. He realised at that moment, he was perhaps being slightly selfish. He let out a long sigh making his lips puff out.

"Can I choose my room?" he said, looking up at his mother in a way that suggested he had just admitted defeat in the internal battle he had been having with himself. His mother smiled and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Whatever one you want", she whispered, hoping she had made a breakthrough. "Hey, your father and I were thinking about eating out tonight. Would you like to join us?" she asked, gently breaking the hug, looking at Jake.

"Thanks, Mum, but Cody is coming over tonight, hopefully, and we're gonna talk, you know…about stuff."

"That's good to hear, Jake. I think the both of you need to at least try and clear the air. Well, at least you'll have the house to yourselves," she added. "I'll make sure your father and me are out of the way when he gets here."

"Thanks, Mum," Jake said as his mother began to walk towards his door. "Oh, and Mum?"

"Yeah, sweetie?" Jenny turned to face him.

"Thanks, you know, for…for being cool about me." Jenny just winked at him and left the room. Nothing more needed to be said as far as she was concerned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alan, put a tie on, honey. I booked a table at Stephan's place," Jenny called through the bathroom door.

"If I have to," he replied, rinsing the shampoo from his hair.

"Jake, do you need money for a takeaway, or are you going to finish that lasagne I made last night?"

"Lasagne is fine," Jake called from his room. Alan and Jenny continued to get ready for their meal out when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it", Jake hollered as he went to the front door and saw Cody standing there nervously.

"You came," said Jake, smiling.

"Yeah, I came, so are you gonna let me in?" Cody replied, shivering.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, come in."

"Hi, Cody, nice to see you; it's been a while," Alan said as he came down the stairs putting on a tie.

"Hey, Alan." Cody gave a small wave.

"So, uh, do you wanna come up to my room?" Jake spoke again, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah, sounds good."

Jake led the way upstairs, with Cody following. His mind was working overtime, trying to remember everything he wanted to get out on the table tonight. Cody was also in his own thoughts, wondering how the evening was going to pan out. The two of them had hardly had a civil conversation in days, and it was decided these were crunch talks before Jake had to leave in the coming days.

"Right, we're off," said Jenny, poking her head through Jake's door.

"Okay, Mum, have a nice evening."

"Bye, Jenny," Cody added. They heard the front door click, and Jake got up from his computer chair and made his way over to Cody.

"Fuck, Jake, what are you doing?" Cody jumped as Jake tried to kiss him.

"Sorry, you looked like you needed it," Jake said, grinning.

"Jake, we're here to talk, nothing more, nothing less. You can't just kiss me and pretend everything is okay." Jake's grin turned to a frown.

"Sorry, okay, I've just missed you, and I thought-"

"You thought, hey, let's kiss, and everything will be okay. Well, in case you hadn't noticed, you are leaving in 5 days, and everything is not okay."

"I'm sorry, I just misjudged the situation. What do you want me to do?"

"Well, for a start, you can tell me what I'm doing here," Cody asked, starting to get irritable.

"What?" Jake looked at him, confused.

"You said you wanted to talk, so talk!" Cody replied, holding his arms out wide.

"Not when you're like this. Look at you, you can hardly keep civil towards me, and I haven't even said anything yet."

"Right, well, I guess I'll be going then," Cody said, exasperated, as he moved off the bed towards the door. Jake jumped from his chair and quickly tried to grab Cody by the arm, but it was a mistake. Instead, Cody swung round and grabbed Jake by the neck and slammed him up against the wall, his face literally an inch from Jake's as he breathed heavily through his nose. His mouth was clamped tightly shut; he was red in the face and shaking!

"Cody!" Jake gasped out, "I can't breathe." Jake was starting to turn red from the pressure building, as blood was beginning to get trapped in his head and face. He tried to grab Cody's arms to pull them away, but Cody, being much stronger, held the grip tight, overcome with rage. Jake just stared at him pleadingly, trying to send a silent message to tell him to stop, but still, Cody wouldn't let go. There was anger in Cody's face, but something else, as well. It was hurt! As much as Jake was struggling to breathe, he saw this in Cody's piercing blue eyes. His friend was hurting, and his actions, though not an excuse, were a way of getting that message across – he couldn't take anymore. Jake just continued to stare in pity as a stray tear made its way down his face. Cody, seeing this, snapped himself out of his rage, and his breathing slowed. Realising second by second what he was actually doing to his best friend, the grip he had on Jake's neck began to slowly loosen until his hands dropped away completely. Jake coughed and spluttered as the pressure subsided, taking in huge lungful's of air, trying to recover from his oxygen being cut off. Cody, still standing close, suddenly, without warning, burst into tears, as if the adrenaline that had been pumping just moments ago needed an outlet. Jake just stood there shaking as Cody brought his hands up to cover his face. Jake gently and carefully brought his arms around him and slowly pulled him in closer, as if he was trying not to provoke an injured predator.

They stood there for a few minutes as Cody sobbed. Jake's neck was red from the abuse, but he didn't care. He finally saw, after all this time, what damage this move was doing to Cody. He knew in that instance how selfish he had been, and he was angry because he was so blind to it for so long. Cody was right, he thought. This is not all about me!

"I'm so sorry," Jake whispered into his ear. Cody said nothing, but in another display of unpredictability, he looked up before diving his face into Jake's lips with his own and forcing his tongue into Jake's mouth. Then, grabbing his friend's face in both hands, he began to frantically kiss him, pushing deeper and deeper, wider and wider into Jake's mouth, dancing his tongue around inside. Jake, not really sure how to respond, just stood there and let it happen. Cody was whimpering as he kissed him, rubbing his hands all around Jake's face as he did so. Then, taking away one hand and moving it to Jake's hair, he slowly yanked his head back and started kissing Jake's injured neck all over like a crazed animal. Although slightly alarmed at Cody's uncharacteristic behaviour, Jake felt a stirring inside himself with the passion his best friend was displaying. Part of him was desperate to push him away and ask what the hell he was doing, but the other part of him was living the fantasy he had played over so many times in his bedroom while jacking off.

In a moment of passion or what could be deemed returning anger, Cody used his forearm against Jake's chest and forced him up against the wall again. He grabbed hold of Jake's Jeans and unbuttoned them, quickly taking the zip down. Jake, shocked, moved his hand to where Cody's was and tried to pull it away, but Cody instantly slapped it away with force, leaving a sting on Jake's hand as he did. Next, he reached inside Jake's jeans, grabbed his cock and squeezed tight, causing Jake to let out a loud whimper and arch his stomach forward and his shoulders back. Cody could feel a warm trickle of pre-cum ooze through the material of his boxers. Jake was now in the zone, even if not initially prepared to be.

Still with a serious defiant look on his face, Cody stared into Jake's eyes as he moved from the inside of his jeans to inside his boxers. Jake could feel Cody squeeze his cock again, this time flesh on flesh, feeling his cold hand as he let out another moan. Cody was pushing Jake back against his bedroom wall even harder as if to prove his dominance over him. He then moved the hand from his chest and placed it over Jake's mouth so he couldn't speak. With one hand on his mouth and the other on his dick, Cody turned to Jake's face, his eyes wide as if possessed.

"Is this what you wanted from me?" he growled in a low pitched voice as he began to jack Jake's dick. Jake was starting to struggle, but Cody used his body weight to push Jake tighter against the wall, increasing his grip on Jake's mouth and cock.

"What are you doing?" Jake said in a muffled voice, wriggling helplessly.

"Shut up", came the response as Cody picked up the speed of the action. Jake's eyes were now wide and startled as he was being seduced by Cody. He was wiggling about, moaning, as Cody got faster and faster, his breathing starting to increase. Cody was also starting to breathe harder and faster, whether from the exertion or because he was becoming excited for Jake, he could not tell. Within seconds, though, Jake let out a high pitched yelp from behind Cody's hand, arched his hips forward violently, and spent himself in his friend's hand. As his head fell back against the wall, his eyes rolling, endless globs of cum began splashing onto his carpet and over Cody's trainers, leaving a final wad hanging from his cock itself. With the sweat running down each of their faces, they stood for a moment, staring at each other, breathing heavily, as Jake came down from his orgasm, and Cody, from his action of providing it.

"Thanks for coming over," Jake puffed, as he started to laugh, gently at first and then totally cracking up. Cody's face remained serious until slowly his lips curled up, revealing a grin, and then soon after a laugh until he was laughing just as much as Jake was.

"You mean, thanks for letting you come over me," Cody replied, still laughing. "I think you need to go clean up, man you cum a lot!" Cody said, looking at the carpet, shaking his head.

"And I think you need to clean your shoes!" he replied, pointing out to Cody the mess on his sneakers, not that this had gone unnoticed by his friend. They both headed to the bathroom, where the cleaning began. Cody removed his sweater from his soaked torso revealing his athletic toned upper body. Jake admired his slim but tight muscular frame through the mirror, watching as beads of sweat starting from his armpits ran down his side, with more beads appearing elsewhere, giving him an almost oily complexion. Fucking hot, he thought.

"So, ready to talk?" Cody said, looking at Jake through the mirror, behind him, smiling.

"Uh, yeah, sure, but don't you want me to…."

"It's okay, Jake, you don't have to; I'll sort that out later," Cody said, adjusting his still hard cock in his pants. "We really need to talk."

Jake just shrugged and zipped up his pants, now that the remaining jizz had been cleaned from his cock. He then turned and walked past Cody, laughing as he passed.

"What's so funny," Cody asked, the laugh becoming infectious.

"Ahh, it's nothing," Jake replied.

"No, c'mon, I wanna know now."

"It's…It's just, when I thought about you and me, you know, doing stuff, I always thought it was going to be more of a gentle thing?" Jake looked almost embarrassed.

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly plan to jacking you off out of anger," Cody laughed.

"Is that why you did it, out of anger?"

"A little, but you looked like you been needin' that for a while!" Cody grinned suggestively. Jake joined the grin and then turned it to a more serious expression.

"I wanted more than that, Cody, for as long as I can remember, and anyway, you jacking me off…it's not really a two-way thing, is it? It scares me to think that the closest we might ever get before I move away is some frustrated one-way jack off session."

"Well, at least I got to finally see your dick! Quite a big boy now, Master Jake, isn't we? What is that 7 inches?" Jake felt heat travel to his face and turned away from Cody.

"Cody, I'm serious. Please don't make fun; this is hard for me, you know?"

"I'm sorry; I'm just fed up with being miserable around you, that's all; it's hard work!" Cody let out another smile, still trying to lighten the mood. "Look, let me say this. I have been thinking since I got here that no matter how we are with each other, it's not going to change the situation. So if I'm sad, angry, hurt or whatever, you are still moving away, so why not just accept that and try and enjoy the time we have left, okay? Just don't expect me to say goodbye because I can't do that."

"What do you mean, you can't say goodbye? What does that mean?" Jake asked, confused. Cody's face turned to serious once again before he spoke.

"What I mean is, I won't be coming round to say goodbye before you leave, Jake. I can't. That's just too much for me."

"What…I mean, we're just gonna…I mean, I'm just gonna go without seeing you?"

"Yes, you are, Jake, and if you think anything of me, you will do this for me." Cody frowned.

"Dude, that really hurts."

"Yep, sure does, but it's better this way, trust me," he replied, matter of fact.

"Fuck, what? How can it be better to just leave and not say anything rather than say goodbye to you? Cody, that's just…I can't believe what you're asking here. I love you, man. I want some closure, at least."

"This is my closure, dammit," Cody raised his voice.

"Hang on, has Kit told you to do this?" Jake growled.

"Oh, here we go. I wondered how long it was gonna take until he was brought up. What makes you even think I said anything to him, anyway?"

"Because I know what Kit's like! He would have seen you weren't right and started asking questions. Also, Cody, I know what you are like. Having no one to talk to about this, I know damn well if he had started asking questions, then you would have spilt on him, and I know that because I know you! You…you don't hold things inside very well."

Cody just looked at Jake, his mouth dropping open slightly. He was angry for Jake assuming all this, but at the same time, weirdly happy that Jake knew him so well and was spot on.

"Well, I guess you have me all figured out, Jake!" Cody puffed, the only response he could think to come back with.

"Look, Cody, I…"

"No, Jake, I can't. We aren't getting anywhere fast here. It's just fucking my head up. I really want to be happy and say, hey, good luck, I'll come to visit, and all that shit, but it isn't gonna happen. So I'm gonna go now because we could talk for hours, but I've just realised that it makes no difference. So let's just accept that we had some good times, he happy for each other, and let it be." Jake raised his hand to his mouth before speaking.

"You're really gonna walk out, aren't you? You are really gonna do it. So what, did you plan it like this?"

"No."

"Liar!" Jake hissed. You planned to make things all sweet between us and end our friendship here today, didn't you? FUCKING ANSWER ME!" Jake screamed, causing Cody to jump backwards.

"Jake…I, no…I mean. Here, this explains it all" Cody pulled out an envelope from the back pocket of his jeans and tossed it onto Jake's bed angrily. "This was my backup plan in case things turned out like they look to have, anyway. You really wanna know how I feel; you really wanna know what's inside my head? Well, fucking read that, goodbye, Jake!"

And that was it. He was gone.

Jake stood in his room, staring at the slightly crumpled envelope on his bed, the letters J A K E written in Cody's handwriting. He dreaded its contents but knew somehow Cody was right. Maybe it would explain a few things he could never say. With his hand trembling, he slowly reached out for the envelope while sitting down on his bed. He felt the gum on the seal. It was still slightly damp. Must have been written today, he thought as he gently prized back the lip of the envelope with his finger, pulling out a single sheet of paper. He took the letter to his desk and began to read.

Dear Jake….