Come Back To Us - 21. Chapter 21

Back to Karl's POV

Nineteen years old. Almost twenty.

But he didn’t even look like he was nineteen. He still had childish looks and not quite the stature of a man yet.

He finished getting ready for the day and averted his gaze from his reflection in the only mirror they had in their dorms.

As usual, he left the room in Jørgen’s company. But as he aimed for his classroom, Jørgen stopped before him, preventing him from going any further as he wondered why he was doing that.

“Where are you going?”

Karl raised one eyebrow. What did he mean by that? This was a strange question.

“I am heading my classroom,” he sounded unsure as he spoke.

Jørgan grave gaze was soon brightened up by a smirk. Karl tilted his head as he opened his mouth slightly.

“There are no classes for you today.”

Karl’s mouth opened wider.

“But I am to have another flying lesson this afternoon.”

“Forget about your flying lessons for today. Today’s your day.”

His day…he thought for a few moments. Oh, so he hadn’t forgotten.

“Where am I going then?”

As they were staring into each other’s eyes, Jørgen’s smile didn’t fade.

“This is a surprise. And I’m going to lead you there. Prepare to walk.”

He followed him outside without any more questioning. He couldn’t help thinking about how he must have been lucky to be granted a day of leave just for his birthday. He must have been something exceptional, because he didn’t think many men had had this luck before him.

After walking for a long while, they ended up reaching a hill. They had a nice view from up there. It was still early in the morning, but it was already hot.

“You should changes clothes. You’re gonna roast in that uniform. Thankfully, I’ve thought about taking casual clothes more adapted to the weather before leaving,”Jørgen broke the silence with that smile of his plastered on his face as he was showing the sack he had been carrying on his back all the way to get there.

“You didn’t let me know before I got dressed. You should have told me earlier so I wouldn’t have headed to my classes like a fool,” Karl pointed out, now in the mood for a bit of teasing.

“Yeah, but this wouldn’t have been as much of a surprise as it was had I told you earlier. Don’t you agree?”

Karl smirked.

“This wouldn’t have ruined your surprise.”

“It’s too late now anyway. Here,” he threw the sack at him and Karl caught it.

He took the clothes in it before he started removing his uniform, first the jacket, then the tie, then the shirt. Jørgen hadn’t even bothered to put on his uniform. He just told him he had a day off today before they left their dorms. How clueless he had been.

Once he was done with that, they just laid down on the soft grass, doing nothing but staring at the blue sky. This reminded him of home, and a pain in his heart which he’d rather forget about.

He focused on the sky that was clear, but not because of his colour. There weren’t any planes flying in it. The bombings had stopped recently, the city of London and the other cities were safe, and it was such a relief. But for how long?

They ate a bit of the food Jørgen had brought with them around noon, preferring to save some for tonight. It wasn’t anything special, but the simplest food was still better than no food in those troubled times.

They remained there for the whole afternoon, talking about everything and anything, enjoying this moment of carelessness which probably wouldn’t happen again anytime soon.

They watched as the sun faded away behind the landscape, leaving only a trace of rosy, yellow and orange tones as it yielded the way to the shadows and the darkness that would only be brightened by the moon and the stars.

They finished eating the rest of the food mostly in silence and then Jørgen got two flasks out of the bottom of his sack.

“We have to come back to the base only at noon tomorrow. I’m just letting you know so you won’t act like a Cinderella.”

Karl smiled, even though he didn’t know what a Cinderella was.

“A Cinderella?” He mocked him.

Jørgen let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah. You know, the servant girl who has to go back home before Midnight, except that she wasn’t allowed to go out in the first place.”

He handed Karl one of the flasks.

“But her story had a happy ending,” he added.

“But what’s supposed to be a happy ending?” Karl asked him as he took the flask from him.

“Well, living happily ever after, with a loving partner and lots of children in a peaceful and ideal world.”

It sounded so charming as he said it.

“But she didn’t know war, right?”

“No. But she knew what it was to be mistreated.”

It must have been horrible. But he had come to learn that everything was relative.

“Let’s hope that ours won’t have a tragic ending.”

They stared into each other’s eyes intently, both aware that everything could stop suddenly, and that they would leave nothing behind them but regrets about things they would never have the chance to do, last words that could never be spoken to their loved ones.

Jørgen raised his glass towards him.

“Let’s drink to all the people who are not as lucky as we are for the time being.”

They didn’t look away from one another, their gazes grave but brave.

“Sounds good to me,” Karl spoke after a little while.

Jørgen smiled a bit.

Their flasks met and then they started drinking. It tasted like the brownish drink he had once tasted at Emma’s pub whiling in George’s company. Yeah, he could say for sure that it wasn’t “beer”. It took all the strength he had in him not to choke and cough. Even if it was hard to show that he wasn’t unaffected by the drink.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” he replied with a hoarse voice as he inhaled deeply. “I’m just not used to drinking this.”

Jørgen’s smile widened.

“Take it easy. This is not a contest about who will be the fastest drinker. This would definitely ruin your birthday.”

Karl cleared his throat.

“You’d lose anyway.”

Jørgen burst into laughter.

“Already getting yourself a bigger head, eh, birthday boy?” He teased.

Those kinds of moments felt so good. It was as if he had never left home.

“Yeah. I guess you can say that.”

Jørgen chuckled.

“Happy birthday, Karl.”

Said boy smiled at him.

“Thanks.”

They both drank silently, just enjoying each other’s presence and the end of their day off. This brought memories back. That special day which reminded him that time passed maybe a bit too quickly.

“Next year, we’ll do something greater; when you are turning twenty years old.”

Yes, that was right. In one year he would be twenty years old. He hadn’t realised until now how time had flown by fast. In his mind, he was still the boy living with his parents at the familial farm, the boy who was too young to have a life of his own.

He got lost in the melancholy of all the memories invading his mind. Each time a new memory came to him, he took one sip of his drink.

At some point, Jørgen told him stories about his own childhood as if he had guessed this was making him feel melancholic while he should have been happy. They drank and laughed. Karl felt better now. Every time he was feeling down, he knew how to make him feel better. And he was more than thankful for it.

Karl was feeling light-headed and somewhat a bit dizzy. And on top of that he was feeling incredibly hot. He thought he needed some fresh air, but as he was trying to stand up, he immediately fell back into his seat.

“Are you okay?” Jørgen leant forward as he asked that.

“Yeah…” he slurred.

They hadn’t drunk that much, right?

Jørgen put his hands on his thighs. He pressed as if he were trying not to lose his balance. Everything became silent all of a sudden. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t a peaceful silence either. He couldn’t quite define it. This was bringing some memories back to the surface, memories he’d rather forget about. There were too many memories he needed to forget about, but some more than others.

Mechanically he grabbed Jørgen’s wrists and helped him lean back in his spot slowly. He was under the impression that he was suffocating. The air was stifling. But if he couldn’t breathe properly outside, then where could he go?

He tried to stand up as he was feeling numb, but he only lost his balance. He must have been looking like a fool.

“Hey! Karl…”

Jørgen managed to catch him before he could fall with his face flat on the ground. He was holding his arms firmly so he wouldn’t lose his balance again.

They stared into each other’s eyes without a word for a long while. A bit for too long.

Next thing he knew, Jørgen was kissing him. But he didn’t move. He was paralysed; and whether it was because of the shock or the numbness he wasn’t sure. Or maybe it was just because he had missed that feeling of soft lips against his own.

Jørgen kissed him again, and again, and again. Everything went a bit too quickly for his poor brain afterwards. Jørgen brushed his cheek with the tips of his fingers as he stared into his eyes. He kissed his jaw and neck with a hunger that would seem to be hard to be satisfied.

He helped him get undressed and he ended up lying on his back with Jørgen on top of him.

Jørgen kissed the nape of his neck, slowly and sensually. Then he kept kissing him downward until he reached the end of his back. His hands were resting on his hips. They were hot, and their hold firm. His lips moved the other way round, still in the same way.

Soon enough he felt him inside him, and they did it. Well, he didn’t do anything. He just wanted to feel the same way again, just wanted to be held, comforted, shown someone cared about him.

He woke up in the middle of the night. He had fallen unconscious because of all the booze he had drunk, but was woken up by a terrible headache. And a feeling of sudden awareness. Something didn’t feel right.

He was lying on his side, his back facing Jørgen. He remembered everything so vividly. He had been too drunk to prevent him from touching him, but not drunk enough to forget what happened that night.

He realised he was feeling empty. This wasn’t like what he had shared with George. It hadn’t felt the same at all.

Was it because it was only the first time?

He remembered perfectly his first time with George. He hadn’t liked it at all.

He clenched his jaw and gripped the sheet tightly as a sudden thought crossed his mind. He remembered when Jørgen had told him that he had a girlfriend, that he wanted to marry her after the war…

He regretted that. But it was too late now.

He didn’t want to face him. He needed some time before he could. He sat up and left the bed, careful not to wake him up. He got dressed and left the room and the place.

He just felt that he wouldn’t be able to face him any longer. There was that feeling overwhelming him which he couldn’t stand. A feeling that would end up driving him crazy if he kept thinking about that.

He started running as tears started welling in his eyes. He just wanted to forget this had happened.

He was a coward.