Tyler - 5. Chapter 5

Tyler - Chapter 5

Tyler and Connor walked into the cafeteria the next day together. Tyler was trying to work up the nerve to ask him not to sit with Rick and Bobby but couldn’t bring himself to do it as that would be making him seem even more alienated from his best friend.

So after getting their trays he sat down quietly by Connor and across from Bobby and Rick. The teasing from the other kids hadn’t slacked off much and he was glad he’d made it to a sitting position without any incidents.

Bobby and Connor looked at Rick and Tyler who were both staring down at their trays while moving food around with their forks then looked to each other and sighed. Rick hearing it looked up at them then glanced sideways over at Tyler and shrugged as though to say what the hell do you want me to do about it.

“So what time do you have a break at work tonight Tyler.” Connor asked. “I can meet you and we can get something to eat together.”

Tyler looked over at Rick his eyes narrowing. “I’m not working tonight.”

Rick narrowed his own eyes and cocked his head to one side. “Why do you say that like I have something to do with it?”

“Cause it’s your fault.”

Connor looked from one to the other of their glaring eyes not seeing how that was even possible and thinking maybe for the first time that their dislike for each other was not all one sided.

“How in hell is it my fault?” Rick asked putting his hand on his chest.

Tyler dropped his fork into his tray and leaned forward over the table. “Cause you went crying to your mother about what I said to you yesterday and now she’s making me see a shrink.”

Rick’s face went white and he slowly shook his head. “I didn’t mean for that to happen man. She just asked me if I’d been being nice to you and I told her that wasn’t very easy to do. It wasn’t like I ran tattling honest.”

Tyler softened his glare a bit as his news had certainly taken Rick by surprise. That was obvious. “Your mother told you to be nice to me?” this shocked the hell out of him as well as for all he knew the woman detested him and could care less wether anyone was nice to him or not.

Rick slowly nodded thinking that was gonna piss him off and not really able to blame him for that.

Tyler sighed and sat back heavily against the back of his chair. He picked his fork back up and pushed his food around again. “I’m sorry, I just figured you wanted to get me in trouble.”

Rick’s eyes widened in surprise at the apology as he’d in no way expected that. He stammered a bit before he was able to say. “I’m sorry too. If I had, had any idea she was gonna do that to you I would have kept my mouth shut all together.”

Tyler tilted his head and looked up at him again. A smile spread across his face which brought a smile to Rick’s face as well. Bobby and Connor smiled at each other hoping this may be first step in the two not hating each other.

“So you don’t have to work at all tonight?”

“No,” Tyler said turning to him.

“What time is your appointment?”

“Four”

“And those things only take an hour right?”

“Don’t know never had to go before.”

“Well we can go out after. If you want.”

Tyler smiled and nodded. “Shit,”

“What?”

“Well you asked me first. I wanted to pay on the next date.”

Connor grinned and chuckled at the same time. He put his hand on Tyler’s shoulder and shook his head. “You snooze you lose.”

“Okay,” Tyler said with a slight shake of his head having no idea what that meant.

Connor grinned at him. “Just means you go slow you don’t get your way.” He shrugged and smiled humorously. “I guess.”

“If you can’t explain don’t say it.” Tyler eyed him humorously. “That means if you don’t know what the hell you are talking about keep your mouth shut.”

Bobby started laughing hysterically as Connor’s face turned red and his mouth spread into an embarrassed smile. Tyler looked at Bobby and chuckled as well just seeing the guy laugh so hard extremely funny. Connor shot his elbow out and nailed Bobby in the ribs which only resulted him putting his hand on his side as he continued to laugh.

Tyler looked at Connor and rubbed his leg under the table. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Your role here is to defend me not pick on me!” he said while chuckling himself.

Tyler grinned as he squeezed his thigh. “I’ll do better in the future I promise.”

Connor to his great surprise was waiting for him at his locker at the end of the day. “I told Julie to go on home. I figured I’d just wait for you at your appointment.”

“You don’t gotta do that.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Are they gonna have to etch that saying into your tombstone or something? I’m gonna wait and I don’t want any crap about it.”

Tyler smiled at him then gave him a quick hug. “You’re so wonderful.” Connor blushed as he pulled away and opened his locker. “I know that man, didn’t Julie tell you how stuck on myself I am.”

Tyler laughed as he pulled out his books. “She specifically said not stuck on yourself. Just confident.”

Connor snorted and shook his head. “So they’re going away for thanksgiving huh? You going with them?”

“Yeah, some damn huge family get together. I should fit right in.” He put his books in his bag not real sure why he was lying just figuring it was cause he was too ashamed to admit he wasn’t wanted around for the hundredth time in his life.

“You can come to my house if you want. It will just be me and my mom.”

“I don’t want to be rude to the Henderson’s. you know by not taking them up on their invite.” ‘And don’t want to barge in on your holiday either’ he added silently.

Connor nodded and they turned away from the lockers and walked out of the school. Ten minutes later they walked into the hospital and waited in the lobby like Rick’s mother had told him to.

“She just told you to stand here and wait?” Connor asked looking confused and thinking that was quite rude.

Tyler shrugged and nodded as his eyes scanned the room around him.

“Is Rick’s mother a bitch?”

“I think so.” He turned back so he was looking at Connor. “But social worker’s aren’t too high on my list anyways. Maybe it’s not her personally maybe it’s just what she does for a living.”

“But I thought they were supposed to help you kids. I thought they’d be nice.”

Bristling a bit at his ‘you kids’ reference he quickly let it slide knowing Connor hadn’t meant to be offensive. “They’re job is simply to farm us out. So we won’t grow up to be homeless people and put a drain on society.”

Connor looked at him thoughtfully hating to think that Tyler thought so little of himself or what he was. He didn’t have any comeback for what he’d just said so he simply smiled as he sat down in a chair. A balding middle aged man approached them. “Is one of you Tyler Adams?” He asked with a cordial smile.

Tyler nodded and reached out his hand. “That’s me.”

The man smiled and shook it. “I’m Dr. Tom Wells. Can you come with me please.”

“How long are we gonna be?” Tyler asked for Connor’s benefit.

“An hour.”

Tyler turned and looked down at Connor who gave him a thumbs up and said, “Be right here.” He smiled at him gratefully then followed the doctor down the corridor up the elevator and into an office just outside the elevator doors on the fourth floor.

“Have a seat.” Tom said motioning to a Canadian Glider that was perched in front of a small desk that was piled high with files. Tyler sat down and immediately started to slowly rock back and forth. Tom pulled his chair out from behind his desk grabbed a new file filled with blank pages and sat down across from Tyler a few feet away.

“Well I talked with your social worker last night. Do you understand why she wanted you to see me?”

“Cause I pissed her off.” Tyler said frankly.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I got in a little tiff with her son, and she brought it up last night.” He gripped the arms of the chair tightly hating sitting where he was, the man sitting across from him and the fact he had to talk at all. “I said something about him crying to her and not being able to hack it. It pissed her off so now I’m here.”

“She mentioned nothing about that Tyler.” Tom said tapping his pen against his chin as he finished his notes. “She said it was because you seem angry. That maybe all that’s happened to you is starting to catch up with you and she thought it was time you started talking some of it out.”

Tyler put his finger nail of his index finger in his mouth and looked at the floor sullenly. ‘God dam bitch,’ he thought as he chewed on the nail. ‘She’s such a conniving witch.’

“Are you angry Tyler?”

“Little bit.” he snapped not looking up at the man.

“Why?”

“Cause she’s a rotten liar.” he shot out.

Tom sagged his shoulders as he wrote that down. Despite what the kid said about her lying it was blatantly obvious he was angry and at more then just her. He’d been filled on the boy’s life and he had plenty of reason to be angry.

“You need to get along with your social worker son, she’s your advocate. The one that sticks up for you. If you don’t think she’s being fair to you then you need to request another one.”

Tyler looked back up at him again and shook his head. “She’s fine. She’s just wrong about this. I don’t need to see you.”

Sighing Tom leaned forward a little in his chair. “You’ve been through so much Tyler. You need to talk it out with someone.”

Tyler bit his lip as he gripped the arms of the chairs even tighter. He could hear a whistling in his head like a teapot about to blow. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to calm himself down just a little before he spoke.

Tom eyed the kid as his body tensed and veins popped out on his temples. His fingers were turning white where he was gripping the armrests so strongly and his rocking had suddenly stopped his legs rigid in their positions as though suddenly he’d turned to stone. He watched his body relaxed slightly as he took slow deep breaths and had to commend the boy for being able to calm himself down on his own. If what had happened had been allowed to progress he wouldn’t have been surprised if someone got hurt.

“I know what I’ve been through sir,” Tyler said through gritted teeth as he blinked rapidly staring at the floor. “I don’t need you throwing it in my face and I’m certainly not gonna sit here with some stranger and talk about it.” His hand moved slowly down the arms of the chair leaving little trails of sweat behind them before re-gripping further down. “I’m not crazy, I’m not out of control, I’m not a basket case, I don’t need someone to hold my hand and I don’t need no fucking shrink.” He moved a hand up to wipe some spit from his chin that had dropped out of his mouth in his angered speech.

“I gotta tell you Tyler. Seeing what I’m seeing now is not making a very good argument for you.”

Tyler let out a long breath jerking his head up so he was looking in the doctor’s eyes. The look in his eyes reminded the doctor of someone who had a terrible headache. The whole way he was holding himself made him appear in great physical pain. The doctor knew though his pain was not physical.

Forcing himself to relax a little more Tyler took deep breath and rubbed his sweaty hands on his pants. “You just said the phrase.”

“What phrase?”

“You been through a lot you gotta talk about it.”

“That phrase pisses you off?” Tom asked pleased the boy had calmed himself down enough to say it.

He nodded. “You know how many times I heard that crap? You know how many people who’ve said it don’t really give a damn. I’ll talk to someone someday, I’ve already got one person I talk to but I’m not telling someone who won’t care. I’m not gonna waste my breath. And don’t give me any shit about you caring cause I know you get paid to sit here and talk to me. So even if I turned out to really like you I’d never tell you anything.”

“So there’s not much point to all this is there?”

“None at all.”

“So we are required to sit here once a week for eight weeks what do you suggest we do with that time?”

“You just sign whatever paper you have to that says I was here and let me get on with my life.”

Tom smiled wearily and shook his head. “Sorry I’m not gonna do that.”

Tyler gave him one of his finest dirty looks before he looked back down at the floor.

“We don’t have to discuss what you’ve been through. We can discuss how things are going now.”

Tyler nodded as he pretended to study his fingernails. “Where are you living now?”

“Foster home.”

“Do you like it there?”

“Yes sir,”

Tom had to grin as the impression Karen Parker had given him of Tyler’s monotone when asked questions had been incredibly good.

“School going okay?”

“Yes sir,”

“Many friends?”

“A few.”

“That guy that brought you in one?”

“No just some stranger that picked me up while I was walking over here. That’s what us queers do you know. Just fuck every guy we can get our dink into.” He shook his head from side to side as he spoke sure Karen had filled him in on that tidbit of information as well.

“Why are you so defensive?”

“Why you gotta hassle me.”

“I’m not hassling you.”

“I’m not defensive.”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

Tom took a deep breath having seen kids use his tactics before. He was doing anything he could get his hands on to avoid answering anything serious. From trying to pick a fight to throwing his questions back at him. He’d seen it before but it didn’t make him any more comfortable about the situation. He’d dealt with enough kids who’d been through their own personal hells before. He knew Tyler’s was still happening and feared by his current representation of himself that he was like a volcano just about ready to have a big eruption.

“I hear you have a job?” he said knowing they weren’t gonna get anywhere then. That Tyler’s guard had been brought up and the rest of the session would turn out as useless as the beginning.

“Yes,” he snapped rubbing his elbow through his shirt.

“What’s your schedule?”

“Why?”

“Cause I want to work around it Tyler. We need to pick a day for you to come and see me that you don’t have to work.”

Tyler sighed and leaned forward putting his face in his hands so low that all Tom could see was the top of his head.

“What’s wrong?”

The head shook back and forth but no words came out past the hands.

“I’m sorry about this Tyler but I think it’s important you see me. Now if you don’t tell me a good day I’m gonna have to pick one and if it conflicts with your schedule then that will be something you’ll have to take care of. So why don’t you just tell me.”

Tyler’s head shot up and he glared at him. “Monday’s good.” He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and pulled it on angrily. “Are you fucking done for today?”

Tom nodded calmly and watched Tyler storm out of the room. Tyler slammed the office door behind him and scanned the hall seeing a bathroom a few doors down on the other side he slipped into it and breathed a sigh of relief seeing it was a single. He slid the lock into place then slid down the door til he was on his butt. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around them.

Burying his face in the tops of his knees his hot tears poured out of his eyes. He was angry at himself for getting so mad, angry that he’d been reduced to seeing a shrink in the first place. Mad he didn’t lead a charmed life like regular kids. That his parents hated him and hadn’t taken care of him like they were supposed to.

It broke his heart after each new family cast him aside. Most not even giving him a chance in the first place. He moved his hand up from his leg and put it on the back of his head pushing his face down deeper into his knees as the only thing he hated more then everyone else at that moment was himself. He hated it when he succumbed to his feelings like this. When he just threw it all aside and bawled like a damn baby.

He spent ten minutes on the floor brooding about himself and his life before he lifted his head and wiped at his eyes. He looked up and around the bathroom wondering if maybe he’d be better off just locked in a room by himself. He shook his head as he put his hand up on the sink and pulled himself up. Telling himself feeling sorry for himself time was over. He washed his face in the sink then dried it off with paper towels. He turned on the hand drying blower machine and turned the nozzle up so it blew directly into his face. He considered himself an expert on hiding any evidence of crying.

When he was through there he hocked up a few phlegm balls and spit ‘em in the toilet so he wouldn’t sound all hoarse then flushed them away watching them go down bitterly. He turned out of the stall and stepped back in front of the mirror. “Now if you can control yourself for five minutes we can get the hell out of here you fucking loser.” he cursed at his reflection in the mirror.

Connor stood up as he approached and smiled at him. “Survive?”

Tyler grinned and nodded. “After years of therapy I’ll probably get over it.”

Connor laughed and put his hand across Tyler’s back resting it on his shoulder. “Where do you want to eat?”

“Anywhere but the mall. I’m tired of all those places in there.”

“I’ll bet.” Connor opened the doors and they both walked out and over to his car. He opened the door for Tyler who smiled at him.

“Such a gentlemen.” He said sitting down in the seat.

The Sunday morning the Henderson’s were to leave for their trip Tyler tried to hide in his bedroom. He was lying on his stomach upside down in his bed when Mr. Henderson’s voice bellowed down the hall. “Get the hell out here you bastard.”

Being the only bastard in the house he let out a long sigh and dropped his head onto the bed before he slowly dragged himself up and out of it. He walked out into the hall in his T-shirt and pajama bottoms and looked at the man who was at the end of the hall glaring back at him. “You get your ass down here and help us load the car. You think you got a free ride here or something?”

“No sir,” he shook his head as he wrapped his arms around his chest cupping his elbows. “Can I get my shoes on?”

“Yes you twit. But hurry the hell up.”

Tyler turned back into his room and slid his sneakers on. He also slipped on a flannel shirt then walked out of his room and back down the hall where suitcases were stacked in the livingroom. Julie was on the phone waving her hand at her mother who was yammering on something about being on time and respect behind her.

He smiled finding it amusing for some reason then snapped to attention as Mr. Henderson’s voice boomed again right beside. “Get them in the fucking car you moron.”

Tyler picked up two of the biggest suitcases fought with the door then pulled them out of the house and to the car that was waiting with it’s trunk open. He shoved the suitcases in. After two more trips their bags were all in the car and he walked back in the house and faced off against Mr. Henderson. “Anything else sir?”

“You watch your mouth!”

Tyler narrowed his eyes in confusion though he managed a nod wondering what his mouth had done wrong.

“You remember what I said boy about noone in this house but you. If I find anyone was or find anything missing when we get back you will be out on your ass so fast you won’t know what hit you. And don’t think you are too old for me to take my belt to you before I do it too.”

Crossing his arms across his chest again Tyler looked down at the floor and nodded. A man’s belt was one of his most bitter enemies and he’d do whatever possible to make sure they didn’t cross each other’s paths again. “I’ll with treat your house with as much respect as if it were my own.” As soon as it was out of his mouth he cringed knowing it was a mistake.

The man laughed in his face. “You have no idea what owning your house is like. You have no home of your own so that doesn’t comfort me much.”

Tyler’s head snapped sideways as Julie’s voice screamed out from the kitchen and the sound of the phone hitting the wall joined it. “You lay off him dad.” she shouted storming out at them from the kitchen.

Tyler seeing her so pissed instinctively took a step backwards. She glanced at him then reached out and put her hand gently on his arm. “Just let him be dad.” she seethed at the man.

“Don’t you tell me what to do.”

“Don’t be an asshole then.”

Mrs. Henderson joined in adding her own screaming voice. Screaming was coming out of all three of their mouths and Tyler watched as their faces all turned red their fingers flew but somehow they seemed to be communicating enough so they were all getting their jackets on and advancing to the door. Suddenly the only sound he could hear was the ringing in his ears as the front door closed separating him from them.

He wanted to just laugh at the ridiculousness of them all screaming at each other. It was just so something like someone would see on TV. He lurched back to attention when the door opened again then quickly relaxed seeing it was just Julie. She hurried over to him. Put one hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder. She leaned in and kissed him on his other cheek then stepped back and smiled at him. “Have fun this week Tyler.” She turned and left quickly closing the door again behind her.