Tyler - 14. Chapter 14

Tyler - Chapter 14

Friday morning after everyone had come back the day before, Tyler was back in his room with Chris. He yawned and stretched, then startled a bit as his smacked into something warm and solid. He opened his eyes and saw Paul lying beside him rubbing his jaw. “You don’t gotta hit me.”

Tyler chuckled. “What are you doing in here?”

“I got lonely.”

Smiling, Tyler nodded, it wasn’t Paul he was speaking to, over the weeks though he’d been able to decipher this personality from Paul’s. It was the one most like Paul’s, he said he was eleven. The one he’d met his first night there that had actually introduced himself as Paul. Though he knew now, this one’s name was Nick, that he just liked to pretend he was Paul most of the time.

Tyler’s eyes rose over Paul to Chris, who was stirring in the next bed. He watched him wipe at his eyes then slowly sit up. When he looked over at him his face went white. “What the hell are you doing?” his face changed in his yelling to red.

Tyler looked down at Paul who was scurrying closer to him. He put his arms around Paul and looked back at Chris. “Nothing Chris, honest.”

Chris threw back his blankets, flew out of bed and backed himself into a corner. “DON’T YOU DO THAT IN HERE. IT’S MY ROOM TO, AND I DON’T WANNA SEE IT.”

Tyler looked to the door as Amy and two orderlies rushed in. The orderlies surrounded Chris who was still screaming. He looked down at Paul again who was crying hysterically, his face buried into Tyler’s chest. He looked back at the still screaming Chris who was fighting to get away from the orderlies. He gasped as they grabbed his arms and wrestled him to the floor.

“STOP.” he called out sitting, up quickly and pulling Paul up with him. “He didn’t do anything wrong.” Tears welled in his own eyes as he saw one of them pull out a needle and inject it into Chris’s arm, which quickly brought his screams down to only moans.

Linda hurried into the room, he looked at her desperately as tears spilled out of his eyes. She smiled at him before hurrying over to Chris who was still moaning on the floor, now curled up into a bawl.

Amy walked to his bed and pried Paul out of his arms. “Honey its okay, come on let’s get you back to your room.” Paul was putty in her hands and she nodded to an orderly who walked over and scooped him up. Paul let out an ear piercing scream of fright which broke Tyler’s heart and got him bawling even harder. He jumped out of his own bed and ran out of the room, running blindly he opened the first door there was, closed it and ducked inside.

Seeing it was a storage closet filled with mops buckets and cleaning supplies, he slid down the back of the door, then rolled onto his side curling up into a ball. His tears poured forth, as spikes of fear stabbed into his body.

Back in his room Linda looked at Amy, both of them very surprised at Tyler’s reaction. “I don’t think he’s doing as well as he’s letting on.” Amy said sadly, before she took off out of the room, following a still screeching Paul and the orderly.

Linda and the other orderly lifted Chris back into his bed where he immediately drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Can you stay with him?” she asked, figuring Tyler needed to be tended to more since Chris was now sedated.

“Want us to restrain him?”

“No there’s no need.” She shook her head as always, annoyed they were so willing to tie a kid to his bed.

Half an hour later, her panic high, she was ready to call the police figuring Tyler must have left the building as she couldn’t find him anywhere. She was heading back to her office when a janitor approached her. “I think I’ve found that boy you are looking for ma’am.”

“Where?” she asked quickly. He led her to the storage closet, pointed to it, then walked off down the hall.

Linda took a deep breath, then slowly pushed open the door. It stopped about two inches open, hitting something solid. She knelt down and reached her hand in. “Tyler honey. Is that you?”

There was only a slight whimper in return. “Sweetie you gotta move a way from the door so I can come in.” There was no sound for a good minute then the rustling of cotton pajamas moving across the floor. She tested the door and it opened a good two feet so she was able to squeeze in. She closed the door behind her though it left no light in the room.

She could hear he was crying but could not see his face, though she sensed he was only inches away by the sounds coming from him. “Tyler are you okay?” it was a stupid question, as obviously he wasn’t, but she didn’t know what else to say to break the ice.

“I didn’t mean to be bad,” he cried out, telling her instantly he was not the pillar of strength she’d figured him to be. Though that had worried her, as much as what she was seeing now, as someone with Tyler’s background, just had to have some problems and when they didn’t display any, it only made her more nervous.

“You weren’t bad honey. You did nothing wrong, Paul did nothing wrong and Chris did nothing wrong.”

“Why’d they get in trouble then?”

“They’re not in trouble.”

“They put Chris on the floor.” he groaned, before he was hit with a fresh round of sobbing. “They gave him a shot then that man scared the hell out of Paul, why they gotta be mean. We can’t help how we are.”

“What do you mean how you are?”

“We’re scared.” he said angrily, and she could feel his breath on her face knowing he was real close.

“What are you scared of Tyler?”

“They’re scared they are gonna be hurt.”

“No, not them you.” She said reaching out blindly, she found his leg and put her hand gently on it.

“I’M SCARED OF THE SAME THING.” he screamed in her ear making her jump, as goose bumps rose up on her flesh.

Sensing he may turn dangerous, she reached up by the door and flicked on the light. Tyler’s face inches from hers quickly drew back. His face was soaked in tears and there was a haunted look in his eyes, a look that she’d never seen him display before.

“I need to see Robert.” he said breathlessly, his whole body heaving in the deep breaths he was trying to take.

“Robert’s not here right now Tyler. You’ll need to talk to me.”

His face went red, his fists clenching spasmodically. “GET HIM!”

“No, you and I need to talk this out. I’m here, he’s not.”

Mouth opening wide, he let out a howl as ear piercing as Paul’s had been. She jumped, once again as all the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She walked forward on her knees and put her hands on his shoulders. He tried to shake her off but she held on tightly. His eyes closed as his crying continued at a rapid pace. His whole face scrunched up and his breath became very fast and erratic.

She put one arm around his back and the other on the side of his face. Sitting back on her legs, she pulled his head into her chest and his upper body onto her lap. She soothed him with her voice as his body continued to convulse below her. Running her hand through his sweaty hair she whispered consoling words.

His body was rigid at first but the more she held him and talked to him it began to ease up. Knowing the history with his mother, she made a point not to touch him anywhere near his waist or below, actually kept her touching to a minimum though she knew some was necessary.

Her blouse quickly became soaked in his sweat and tears. She watched the beads of sweat drip down the back of his neck. It was over twenty minutes later before his crying eased up and she tried again to actually talk to him.

“Why have you never told anyone how scared you are Tyler? Don’t you think anyone would help?”

“No one helps.” Tyler spat out bitterly. “Just Robert. If I tell any grown ups they just made it worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re like dogs they sense your fear.”

“Give me an example.”

He picked his head up off her chest and looked at her meekly. Knowing he’d just made a huge ass of himself, he figured he may go a little further. “I’ve always been scared of spiders. I never told no one that but my mom knew. She used to tie me down and she bought a tarantula just for me.” He let out a long deep breath and she saw him tremble slightly just at the memory. He sank down onto her lap pressing the side of his face into her thigh. “She tied me down and put it on me. I’d get so scared I’d wet myself. Then she’d get real pissed because I did it. She’d rip off my pants and wrap them around my face. Then she’d beat on my privates with whatever she could get her hands on. She’d leave the room but she’d leave the spider there.” He choked out another sob, as the memory of it being done so many times was still fresh in his mind.

“When she came back in later she did the sex thing. Like she loved me and was all sorry and she was making it up to me. I used to like it.” He said, his voice rising. He turned his face onto her thigh and pressed his eyes into it. “It was the only time she was ever nice to me. I used to ask her for it. She made it so I’d beg. She knew I was weak. She knew if she was mean enough, I’d beg for her to love me. That way she could say she was only doing what I asked her to do. Like I was the one who was a pervert.”

Linda blinked back her own tears for the tenth time since his recollection had begun. She braced her hand on the side of his face and put her hand over her mouth with the other. In her years at Crestwood, she had come across tons of abused kids, but not once had she heard of any such viscous mind play. Mind play that broke its victim down piece by piece, making them so unsure and self loathing it was a miracle Tyler was walking and talking at all.

“She never fooled anyone Tyler. If anyone thought you were at fault they would not be in jail. You were much too young to defend yourself. You were a little boy. Any little boy anywhere wants love. You got it the only way you knew how. There’s nothing wrong with anything you did. It was all your mom.”

Tyler wiped at his eyes then gripped her knee tightly. “I know that most of the time. But sometimes I have doubts. Especially when other people are mean to me too. I don’t know why everyone’s so mean to me. I’d change if I knew. It’s just I don’t know what I do wrong.”

“I’ve not seen you do anything wrong Tyler. All I see is that you don’t stick up for yourself as much as you should. You’ve got people that care. The ones that really have gotten to know you. Those other people just haven’t bothered.”

“But something’s got to make them not want to bother.”

Linda sighed as she herself could not really explain Tyler’s horrible luck, other then the fact that, that was just was it was, bad luck. But how could you explain to a teenage boy, that it was only bad luck when it had been happening all his life with several different families. She wanted to tell him he could just stay there. That he didn’t have to go back out into the cruel world. But she knew that was no solution and wasn’t even sure he’d want to do that.

Sensing he was done talking after about ten minutes of silence, she eased him up off the floor and walked him back to the room, where he dropped down onto his bed and rolled onto his side facing the wall. She put her hand on his head and stroked his hair. “You stay in here today Tyler. We’ll bring you and Chris dinner. Just rest okay?”

He nodded his head listlessly and she pulled the blankets up to his waist before she turned to Chris who was staring glassy eyed at the night stand that separated their beds.

After leaving their room she walked down the hall to Paul’s where Amy was sitting with his head in her lap on his bed. He as well was soaked in sweat and two different children’s voices were whispering back and forth out of his mouth. “He okay?” she asked, walking up to him and running her fingers gently through his hair.

Amy nodded her face looking worn. “Just started calming down actually. That whole episode brought on another flash back. I don’t know what it is yet, but it was a bad one.”

“I’m not so sure Chris and Tyler should remain roommates. It’s scaring the hell out of Chris and Chris being so upset is putting Tyler on edge.”

“You can always have Tyler move in here Linda, but I think you should keep them together a little longer. Chris had started to make some progress. Everyone has setbacks.” She looked down at Paul briefly who had sighed a huge sigh in her arms. “How’s Tyler?”

“He just told me something that made me real sick to my stomach.” she put her hand on her stomach as she reiterated the story.

Amy shook her head in disgust most of the way through it. “I don’t know what is the matter with people? How they can take a young vibrant child and destroy them, piece by piece is beyond me. If I didn’t have this job and someone just came up to and told me a story like that, I’d never believe it. But to hear, year after year, the tortures kids go through at the hands of their own parents, nothing surprises me anymore.”

Amy left her door open that afternoon, so to catch Robert on his way into see Tyler. He walked past at 3:30 and she quickly called out his name. Half a second later he was back in her doorway.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

He nodded; looking worried, then walked in and sat down. “Everything okay?”

“Well Tyler’s had a rough day.” She explained to him what went on in the storage closet. “Has he done that before?”

“Once in a while.” Robert said, not looking any less worried. “It’s like he has to do it every now and then. That it wipes his slate clean and he can start over again. After he does it he’s fine again for a while ‘til things build up again. Usually you can tell when it’s coming on. He’ll get real moody or just stop talking. He won’t want to talk and tries to push me away. Usually within a week of that he goes through this. I get a call in the middle of the night, or anytime really, and he wants me to go and get him. I do of course, he breaks down I hold him all night and the next morning he’s better.” Robert’s eyes were filled with tears and Linda realized just how hard it was on Robert to see his friend suffer so.

“That don’t make him crazy ma’am. It’s just his way of getting it all out. If he didn’t get it out then maybe he’d have a problem, but he does get it out. And he doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else in the process, never has. He’d never hurt anyone. He’s the nicest person I know. He knows what it’s like to be on the wrong side of meanness and he’d never do it himself.”

Robert walked into Tyler’s room five minutes later and up to his bed. His eyes had been closed, but upon his approach he had opened them and smiled weakly. His hair was damp with fresh sweat, sweat that was also making his face shiny. “I did it again.” He said weakly.

Robert smiled and sat down by his waist on the bed. “You okay now?”

He nodded and put his sweaty hand in Robert’s. Robert could tell he was absolutely exhausted, like he usually was after it happened. “I hope this doesn’t mean I have to stay longer.” he said hoarsely.

“I don’t think it will Tyler. You have every right to get upset sometimes.”

Half his mouth curled up as his eyes blinked ever so slowly. “They know where I’m gonna live yet?”

“I’m not privy to that information. The best friend is always last to know.” Robert picked up his hand and held it gently for a minute before he set it back down and stood up from the bed.

“Where you goin?”

“To get a cold washcloth. These people just don’t know how to take care of you.”

Tyler smiled as his friend walked into the bathroom. Robert was back half a minute later and retook his place on the bed where he wiped down Tyler’s face and arms.

“I told her about the spider thing.”

Robert nodded, hiding his surprise. “What did she say?”

“That it wasn’t my fault. Did you know you already have enough experience to be a shrink? She sounded just like you.”

Robert grinned as he wiped at Tyler’s neck. “I am very smart.” he said, in his fake superior voice while he turned up his nose at Tyler, which wasn’t hard since he was lying down and he was sitting up.

He set the cloth aside and leaned down putting his mouth to Tyler’s ear. “I’ve got me a plan.”

Tyler turned his face to Robert’s. “What?”

“When you get out of here I’m gonna have my own place. Actually it’s Stewart’s place. And if that family they place you with isn’t good to you, I’m gonna have me a talk with them. I’m gonna tell them they can keep their damn foster kid money, all they have to do is pretend you are still living there. And to make sure to let you know when the visits are, so you can be there.”

Tyler’s face lit up and he put his hand up on Robert’s arm. “Oh God Robert, that would be the best thing I could ever imagine happening.” his emotions still high, tears started roiling down his cheeks.

Robert nodded his enthusiasm with the idea written all over his face. “Stewart’s place is right here in town. It’s a two bedroom apartment with kitchen living room and full bath. It’s on the second floor. I’ve been there it’s real nice. He says he’ll give me cheap rent and when you get out of here you can of course start working again to help out with it.”

“What are your parents gonna say about this?”

“My parents don’t care Tyler. You know that.”

“But sometimes they like to just give you a hard time. Will they not do that?”

“I already told ‘em. They asked me when I was moving out.”

Tyler shook his head in disgust, though he was still damn glad of the plan. Linda who’d been standing outside the door listening to the conversation, walked away from it gnawing on her finger. She wasn’t sure what to do; on one hand she knew it was wrong. That Tyler needed two parents to see to his needs. But on the other hand, every set of parents he’d been given had not cared one bit about his needs. She knew Robert would take care of him better then anyone. Like he always had.

She found Amy and pulled her into her office then explained what she’d overheard.

“Let ‘em do it Linda. Sometimes the best one to take care of a kid is another kid. I don’t blame Robert one bit for wanting to do this. He’s seen his friend hurt way too many times. And by his own parents not caring about him, with him being such a nurturing person he wanting to make a family of his own. One where he knows, the other member will love him. I think it’s a great idea.”

A week before Tyler’s release, Karen showed up at Crestwood with a middle aged couple in tow. Linda introduced herself to them and they introduced themselves to her. “Well Tyler is right this way.” She led them to the elevator where they exited on the third floor.

In the day room Tyler was sitting with Chris and Paul the three of them holding some fanned out cards. Tyler’s head turned first and his eyes visibly clouded over seeing Karen standing there with the couple.

Karen smiled at him as she approached, but he couldn’t bring himself to smile in return. “Tyler,” Karen said, once she’d reached him. “This is Donna and Mike Butler. You are going to be staying with them once you get out of here next week.”

Tyler nodded cordially, the woman smiled, the man looked like he was faking an attempt but did not succeed.

“They live right here in Haverhill, Tyler so you don’t have to change school’s again. I figured you’d want to stay with Connor.”

Tyler nodded to her, though he was not looking one bit forward to going back to school. “They have no other kids.” he wondered if he was supposed to be happy about that, as to him that just left no witnesses. He didn’t care though. His mind was on the plan and he hoped this couple was just as horrible as all the rest. Just by looking at the man, he got a good feeling his hopes would be realized.

They stayed for less than five minutes, Karen saying she’d be back the next Wednesday to pick him up and take him to the Butler’s.

“You know,” Chris said once they’d resumed their game. “When I get outta here in three weeks I’m gonna go to Norton too. Mom moved here when I was put here and she found a good job she wants to stay.”

Tyler’s face lit up. “That’s great news Chris. We’ll still get to see each other all the time.” he looked over at Paul, who was looking at him sadly. Paul, who was out himself ninety percent of the time now.

“And I’ll see you too Paul. I’m coming once a week to see Linda and I’ll come see you. And if she’ll let me, I’ll visit you other then that.”

Paul nodded and managed a smile, though Tyler could tell it was not a smile he really felt. “Don’t you let those people hurt you Tyler.”

Tyler shook his head, wanting like hell to tell him his plan, but figuring the fewer people who knew the better. As of right then only he, Robert, Connor and Stewart knew what was going on.

He was in Linda’s office the next week when Karen showed up to pick him up. He’d already said goodbye to all his friends and felt sad for the first time in his life about leaving anyplace.

Linda gave him a big hug and made him promise to show up the next Monday at four. He promised, holding up his right hand while she smiled and tousled his hair. “Call me anytime Tyler. I mean it, you have any problems you use that number I gave you.”

“I will ma’am.”

“So I’ll see you Monday.” she said giving him one last hug before he turned and followed Karen out of the office and out of the hospital. She opened the passenger door for him then closed it behind him before going around and getting in the driver’s seat.

“Your gonna do what she says aren’t you Tyler.” she said, looking at him before she started the car. “You’re gonna tell her if you have any problems.”

Tyler looked at her and smiled, what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “I will. Have these Butler people taken in any kids before?”

“No they are first timers Tyler. But they both seem nice. He’s quiet but she seems real sweet.”

“Have you heard anything from the Henderson’s?”

“Not a peep. After the initial uproar he faded away. Julie tried to get in to see you at Crestwood but I didn’t have them put her on your visitor list. I figured if you wanted to see her you could once you got out.”

He already knew this as she’d written him a letter telling him how sorry she was for what her father had done and that she’d tried to visit but couldn’t. He’d also gotten letters from Bobby and even a few from Rick, who apologized the whole way through his letters for what his mother had done to him. Tyler had written him back telling him he wasn’t pissed at his mom and he shouldn’t be either.

He looked out at the school as the car passed by it. It looked peaceful enough, but the sight of it sent nausea through his stomach and rose goose pimples on his flesh. “Am I all set to go back there?”

“Yes,” Karen nodded. “You were so far ahead in your classes in the first place, they figured you could just catch up. If you have problems they’ll work with you, but none of your teachers think you will.” She glanced over at him and smiled. “You want to go to college Tyler?”

“Yes, but I don’t see how.”

“I think your grades are good enough to warrant you a scholarship. Next year you are gonna be a junior, I’ll start looking into scholarships for you but you gotta decide what you want to major in.”

He looked at her and smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem at all.” She said, smiling back finding it very refreshing to have a conversation with him when he wasn’t being defensive.