Tyler - 9. Chapter 9

Tyler - Chapter 9

Tyler was stonily silent the whole drive to the hospital and the whole time he was being checked in. He felt he’d been abandoned by everyone. Even Robert, who he’d been so sure, would always be by his side. His heart ached so bad he wasn’t sure if maybe he was actually having a heart attack and his head was throbbing, he though perhaps from his own loud screaming. He knew he’d totally lost it that morning at social services, but felt he had every reason to. Suddenly he was without a boyfriend, without a best friend, and being locked away in the nut house so no one would have to deal with him anymore.

He cursed himself for all the little things he should have done. Like just staying put at the Henderson’s for starters. If he’d done that Mr. Henderson never would have got pissed, he’d never have run out, have never been caught coming out of a motel with Robert by Connor and would not be in trouble enough so he was committed. He should have known they’d be looking for any excuse to lock him away. He should have known to be much more careful.

He looked up from where he was, staring out the window in a small office that was mostly white, as a lady in a white coat walked into the room. She smiled at him but he had no smile in him to return it. He was sitting in the pajamas and robe, he’d been forced to put on half an hour earlier, with his hands tightly wrapped around the armrest and his legs crossed at the ankles.

“Well I’m not gonna ask you how you are doing, ‘cause I already know you’ve had a rough go of it these last several hours.” She smiled again as she sat down, while Tyler continued to eye her setting his jaw in a tight line, his anger growing as he knew she was a shrink and based on his last shrink he knew, he hated them.

“My name is Linda. You and I are going to be doing quite a bit of talking for the next month or so. I’m gonna meet with you every day. I don’t have set time but I will find you when it’s time. First thing I need to tell you is that you are gonna want to talk to me. If you clam up and don’t talk, I’m gonna have to assume there is something wrong and recommend you stay here longer. So keep in mind the sooner you talk, the sooner you will get out of here.”

He glared at her figuring it would work like that.

“I was told that the incident that actually brought you here was you attacking your foster father. But from the looks of your face I don’t really believe that. Would you like to tell me what happened.”

He softened his glare, elated that she was actually interested in hearing his side of things. “Yes ma’am.”

She nodded, looking very pleased. She put her elbows up on her desk and stretched her hands out in his direction. “Then please go ahead.”

Tyler leaned forward in his chair resting his hands in his lap. “They went away for thanksgiving. I guess I was supposed to stay and take care of the house,” he shook his head, “but he never told me that.” His voice was bitter and she easily picked up on it. “He just said I couldn’t go with them. He never said I had to watch the house. So I went to my boyfriend’s house for the week. When I got home last night he hauled me in the house and slapped me. Then he started screaming about me supposedly watching the house. He hit me a few more times then whipped off his belt. He hit me with that a few times so I hit him with my back pack.” He shook his head again, ran his hand through his hair and looked at her desperately. “I was only trying to get away. My point in doing it was not to hurt him; my point was to just get away.”

She nodded very pleased with his answer, though it did not encourage her that him talking was always going to be easy. “I believe you Tyler. And I’m glad you told me. Now we don’t have to spend hours trying to figure out why you attacked someone you didn’t attack.”

He looked at her intently, trying to find any sign that she was just placating him. He saw none, though it didn’t make him trust her anymore.

“I’m going to put you in group therapy as well Tyler. I think it would do you some good to hear other people have problems too.”

He rubbed his arms. “I know other people have problems.”

“Then I’d like you to see that, they talk about their problems and by talking them out with other people, lots of those bad feelings are worked out. You don’t have to talk in it right away. I just want you to watch what’s going on.”

“I also want you in recreational therapy. That’s where you all work as a group on a project or solving problems. It’s really a lot of fun I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Hugging his arms around himself, he held his eyes in place though he wanted like hell to roll them. He sat and listened to her stoically, while she went over the rules and everything that would be expected of him during his stay. “Now what do you say I show you to your room and you can meet your roommate.” She stood up and waited for him to stand, then led him out of her office and took a left down the hall. At the end of that hall she took a right. Along that hall she pointed out the day room and cafeteria. Further down she pointed out a gym and meeting rooms telling him he’d have recreational and group therapy in one of them.

After taking another right, and walking about halfway down another hall, she turned right through a doorway. Tyler noted the number 87 on a brown plaque to the right of the door. Least if he got lost, he’d be able to tell someone what room he was in to get help finding it again. He stepped into the room and up beside Linda. There was a boy about his age lying on one of the two beds in the room. Linda held onto his arm and held him beside her as she stepped closer to the boy’s bed.

“Chris this is Tyler. He’s gonna be your new roommate.”

The boy looked up from his magazine for the first time and looked Tyler over from head to toe. He sighed as he set his magazine aside and reached out his hand. “Nice to meet you,” he said not sounding like he meant it at all.

Tyler wearily reached out and shook the kid’s hand. He shook it quickly then dropped it, before turning away and walking over to the other bed, which he assumed was his. Linda turned as he sat down and smiled at him. “You can rest for a while.” She turned back to Chris. “I’m trusting you to get him to the cafeteria at lunch.”

Chris grunted and nodded, not looking up from his magazine. Linda left and Tyler lay back on the bed. He rolled onto his side bringing his knees up to his chest he wrapped his arms around them. Pressing his face into the pillow he stared at the wall, cursing himself for being reduced to this.

Robert drove through the parking lot of Tyler’s school for the second time that morning. He went down every row even drove around the school, but saw no sign of Connor’s red car. He sighed and pulled back out then drove back by Connor’s house, where still there was no sign of Connor’s car.

“God Damn shit, where’d you go.” he muttered to himself as he drove through the streets of town. He in no way blamed Connor for getting so mad that morning. He knew how bad it looked. He knew how the way he and Tyler acted in front of people some times made people think they were a couple.

He was actually greatly encouraged thinking back on Connor’s outburst that morning. He’d been mortified, which told Robert that Connor truly did deeply love Tyler. He only prayed he could convince Connor what he saw, was not at all what he thought was happening. Even if he had to tell him more than Tyler was ready for him to know, yet he knew he had to get Connor to believe him, as Tyler needed them both very badly right now.

He caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye and pushed on the brakes slowing the car. He narrowed his eyes towards the car that was parked in the entrance to the park. The park was closed to cars but it didn’t mean you couldn’t go in on foot. He smiled seeing it was a Nissan Sentra, smiled even more as he pulled up behind it and saw a Norton sticker in the back window, which he knew Connor had on his car.

He parked his car behind it so Connor would not be able to get out then shut his car off and got out. He walked down through the park, his eyes searching every inch of it. Luckily it was mostly an open field and he didn’t have to walk down hundreds of paths looking. He stood at the top of the bluff at the bottom of the park and looked down to the crashing waves below.

He saw Connor sitting up on a rock staring out at the ocean. He looked to his left and saw a staircase going down the side of the bluff. He descended the stair case and walked out to Connor, who was back to him perched on the rock with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around knees.

He took a deep breath just before reaching him and bundled his coat up tighter around him, as the cold day seemed twice as cold right here on the water. He walked around the rock and Conner’s moist eyes fell on him. He looked from Robert to his left, like he expected maybe Tyler would be there too. “I don’t want to talk to you.” He said, his voice quiet like he had exhausted himself. He turned his head away from Robert and put it down on his knees.

Robert climbed up onto the rock beside him. “You got it all wrong Connor. I know how it looked, but won’t you please listen to how it really was.”

Connor’s shoulders shook as he started crying all over again and Robert put his hand up on his back. Connor’s elbow flew back, knocking him in the arm causing his hand to fall off his back. He started to get off the rock but Robert grabbed his arm and held him on. “I parked behind you, so you can’t leave ‘til I leave, and I’m not leaving ‘til you hear me out.”

Connor looked back at him, his face streaked in red where his tears had gone cold and marked his face and fresh tears were still falling. The bill of his baseball cap was twitching in the wind, un-shading his eyes as it blew up every few seconds. A particularly strong gust came up and nearly blew it off and he quickly grabbed and pulled it snugly over his head, so the curled bill completely shaded his eyes. “You don’t beat on him, do you Robert?” he asked sadly.

“Why you asking me that?” Robert asked totally confused.

“Cause I saw his face this morning. You didn’t do that did you?”

Robert rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No of course not. Now if you’ll listen to what I have to say, you’ll know what happened.”

Connor sighed and perched himself back on the rock, though his position made him look like he was readying himself to lunge off again if the need arise.

“When Tyler got home last night Mr. Henderson was pissed off he didn’t stay there and watch the house. He did that to his face and Tyler trying to get away hit him with his book bag.” he knew he needed to add that, to help explain the rest of the story. “Tyler ran out of the house after he did that. He ran to the store and called me.”

Connor wiped at his eyes, the story only making him feel worse.

“He’s always called me Connor. Since he was a little boy. I’ve always been the one to help him out when things got bad. So last night, I went and picked him up. We couldn’t go back to my house because my parents were there and they were screaming at each other like usual. So instead of putting him through that, I checked us into a motel. He just needed to relax and get his wits about him again. We didn’t mess around. I never would. I don’t know if you know this or not but I’m straight. I feel absolutely no sexual feelings towards Tyler.”

Connor studied his face for any sign of lying, but Robert was looking him directly in the eye not a muscle on his face twitching in nervousness. He let out a long sigh and buried his face in his knees again. “I’m such an ass.” He said, putting his hand up and cupping it around his neck.

Robert put his hand on Connor’s that was on his neck. “No I don’t think so Connor. I know it looked bad. I don’t blame you for what you thought. You just have to believe it is in no way true.”

Connor picked his head up and looked out at the ocean for a minute before looking back at Robert. “I just keep worrying; Tyler is like the answer to all my prayers. It’s like I’m just waiting for it to be ripped away, like I don’t deserve it or something.”

Robert smiled at him. “Tyler’s never gonna leave you Connor. He loves you every bit as much as you love him.”

Connor’s face lit up like a torch. “He said he loved me?”

Robert grinned. “Has even told you several times. Course, he only dares to say it when you are sleeping.”

Connor’s head fell to one side, as a look of total love filled his face. “That’s so sweet.”

Chuckling Robert nodded. “He’s real sweet.” He moved his hand from the back of Connor’s neck and put it on his thigh. “Tyler really needs us right now, Connor. He’s pissed as hell at me but you may get to talk to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Crestwood.”

Connor’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened. “The mental hospital? Why?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“Mr. Henderson told police that Tyler attacked him. The only way to make it so he didn’t face charges was to put him in an evaluation program. He’s gonna be there at least thirty days.”

“Oh god,” Connor said, shaking his head. “How could they do that to him? He’s not crazy.”

“I guess that shrink he’s been seeing said it was a good idea. I know Tyler, and I know he’s not apt to talk to some shrink. I’m sure his silence has something to do with it.”

Connor rubbed his face with his hand and held it there for a minute. “Can we see him now?”

“Not ‘til tomorrow. Karen said she’d make sure we got to see him.”

Connor lowered his hand and looked over at Robert again. “Why’s he pissed at you?”

“Cause I was there when he found out he had to go to Crestwood. He thinks I abandoned him.” Robert’s own voice broke and he looked out at the crashing waves. “He was so upset. He was screaming and crying. He never does that.”

More tears dribbled down Connor’s face as he rubbed Robert’s back and leaned into him. “We just gotta tell him you didn’t abandon him that’s all.”

Robert shook his head, as he quickly wiped at a falling tear. “I don’t think it will be that easy.”

They were quiet for a minute as the wind blew in their hair and the salt spray moistened their faces. “I’m not supposed to ask about his past, he says he’ll tell me and he’s told me some stuff, but can you just answer me one question?”

Robert looked at him. “Depends on what it is.”

Connor nodded, deciding that was fair. “Why won’t he sit in the living room?”

“You mean he wasn’t able to hide that?”

Connor shook his head. “He kept coming up with excuses, but I got the feeling he just didn’t want to go in.”

Robert curled his leg up onto the rock and put his hand on his knee, as he looked down at it. “His parents caught him sitting on the furniture one time, after things got bad at his house. He didn’t know he wasn’t allowed up until that point. Instead of yelling at him to get off, the mother just went to the stove where she was boiling water for macaroni she picked up the pot and charged into the living room. She dumped it all over his lap.”

Connor’s head started to shake from side to side his mouth hung open and sounds of protest came out.

Robert looked at him apologetically and squeezed his hand. “He was not only burned severely, he got real sick ‘cause it got infected. His parents never took him to the hospital and I didn’t know it happened ‘til he started getting sick. I knew he’d been walking funny, but I’d never tended to his wounds in that area before.” he brushed his hand over his own crotch. “He didn’t want me to see, so he just said he had a rash.”

“One day I walked over to his place and he was sitting on the front steps of his building. He was sweating buckets and looked red all over. There was a pile of puke beside him and he was shaking all over. He’d gotten himself to the front step but couldn’t go any further. I knew he was real bad, that I couldn’t fix it. So I ran to pay phone and called an ambulance. He was in the hospital for weeks. His god damn parents showed up every day, pretending they were all concerned for him. He was never taken away. They’d said he’d pulled the pan off the stove and burnt himself that way. I don’t know why they never questioned why he wasn’t taken to the hospital right away.”

“He nearly died and he went through months of skin graphs. Needless to say he still associates all that pain with sitting in a living room.”

Connor stared at him; speechless, his mouth still hanging open but his head now frozen in one spot.

“It’s going to take him a while to have sex with you Connor, but that’s not ‘cause he doesn’t want to. He’s ashamed of the way he looks there and he’s ashamed of all his other scars. You have to assure him that it’s no big deal, no matter how a big deal you do think it is. He has every right to be self conscious about it. You just have to show him it doesn’t appall you.”

Connor’s head started to shake again, but still he found no words to speak as his head was swimming with each horrific fact he’d just heard.