Ark II: Life on Gaea - 8. Loss

Joel stared in shock at what he’d seen.

Hank rose slowly stunned but was saying, “No, no, no...that didn’t happen. That didn’t just happen.” He grabbed Joel by the collar, “Tell me that didn’t just happen.” He demanded, “Joel, tell me that didn’t just happen!”

Joel’s mind was saying what Hank was saying. It didn’t just happen, but he saw it. He couldn’t deny what his eyes saw.

Nayef came running to them in the Control Room, “Athena, what just happened?” He looked at Joel and Hank, “I got an alarm and rushed over. Athena, what happened?”

“No!” Hank screamed.

Nayef reached to touch Hank who just jerked his arm away.

“No!” Hank screamed again. “Even if they got an infection, couldn’t they have been put into stasis!?” He yelled at Athena. “We could have treated them!”

“Not at level ten,” Athena answered. “The chance of survival was zero. Contamination possibility was extremely high. I know this won’t help, but they felt no pain. If I let them live, they would have felt agonizing deaths.”

“Why didn’t you see it coming?” Joel asked quietly.

“I wasn’t able to,” Athena answered. “Those projectiles were cloaked from my sensors. I do not know how.”

Nayef nodded, “We’ll find out.” He looked at Joel, “I think under the circumstances, I should step in as leader fir now. Xolani can be my second.”

Joel was numb. He heard but it wasn’t processing. “What?” Then he understood. “Yes. Do that.”

Nayef spoke to Athena, “Someone bring me a medical bag. Or at least a tranquilizer injection.”

“Right away, Dr. Rees.” Athena answered. An A2 brought him a bag of medical supplies.

“Don’t worry about Daylia, Alicia or Henry junior,” Nayef said, “Neither of you is alone.”

“I’ve got to tell the boys,” Joel said not really functioning. “It should come from me.”

Hank was not functioning at all. “Henry and Alicia.” He said sadly collapsing on the floor, “My girls. How do I tell them?”

“We need to tell Mark,” Joel reminded.

“We’ll tell him,” Nayef said and pressed the injector to Joel’s neck and pressed for the drug to inter Joel’s bloodstream. “You don’t need to be in control right now.”

“How could I possibly sleep right now?” Hank asked in a pitiful moan.

“The medicine I gave you won’t make you sleep,” Nayef said compassionately. “After a traumatic event like this, this neurotropic will calm your mind. Thoughts will be slower, but you can think more rationally. It can help you get to sleep. In an emotionally compromising situation like this, you don’t need to make decisions quickly.” He looked up slightly and called, “Leah, Tom, Cindy...you’re needed immediately in the Control Room.”

What happened next, Joel felt disconnected with any of it. His body was there, but his mind wasn’t. He and Hank were escorted back to the Nesmith’s quarters. Joel’s three sons and Hank’s two eldest daughters came in solemnly. They knew something was really wrong. Joel’s mind kept repeating what he’d seen. Sara Beth was there and then she wasn’t. Gone. Not even a second. He knew it was shock.

Nayef spoke first, “There’s no easy way to say this...” he looked at Leah.

Joel hated this. He had to tell about the deaths of men and women under his command before, but this is their mother! His partner! Part of his life.

Ian looked at his father, “It’s Mom, isn’t it?” He was very sad and wary.

“Yes,” Joel answered. “There was an...” it wasn’t an accident, “incident with your mother. She died.” There, it was said.

“Our Mom, too?” Chloe asked as tears were coming.

“Yes,” Hank nodded. “They were killed on the Ark, they aren’t coming back.”

Leah sat between Hank’s girls who both began crying and she was to just be there. There were no words of comfort.

Joel saw his sons. Kevin was still his little boy and saw the tears forming. Jimmy was crying and Ian was withdrawing. He was glad Robbie and Rob were there. Rob sat by Ian as he was crying. Joel got up and sat between Kevin and Jimmy. “Let it come.” He said to his boys and to himself. “I will miss her. You will miss her. Tears say how much we love her. Let it come.”

How long this went on, Joel didn’t care about. He was grieving. To do less would say they didn’t care. They did care. That medication did help keep his mind in control...and that took effort even with the medication. He was Commander, but he was Sara Beth’s husband. He was father to his boys...and Daylia! She would never know her mother. Not really. She could see her mother and her work in recordings. Then he remembered, “Elysia! We’ve got to warn them!”

Robbie walked forward, “Athena let Oracle know immediately after it happened. They know.”

“The election?” Joel asked.

“You won in a landslide,” Nayef said smiling sadly. “How could you doubt that? You are the elected leader on Gaea.”

Joel spent time with his children. He held Daylia constantly. Keeping her close was holding part of Sara Beth. His boys were grieving. Thank God or the universe as a whole they had Nayef. He and Leah never left. Leah divided her time between Joel’s and Hank’s family. Everything surrounding Joel said Sara Beth. His children, the house and Sara Beth’s love of plants. It hurt, but he didn’t want to be rid of her. Sara Beth told him the more it hurt when losing someone proved how important the person was. Don’t deny them. It was going to hurt.

Joel had a doorway put in between the Nesmiths and the Cavills that day. They would need that. Chloe and Rachel were helping with their younger siblings, taking over the feeding and care. Rob, Apollo, Robot and Robbie helped with cooking, though no one had much of an appetite. With all of the children at the table at once, it was so quiet. It was unnatural. They weren’t eating and dragged around. That was what Joel felt. Hank was just lost. Joel told him to show by example and eat. The caring for the children, Leah and Cindy also helped with the infants and listened. Sleep was a problem for Joel. He rarely slept alone and now...he had no choice.

Joel knew in his head it would take time. Joel had others to consider. He went to see Mark who had lost his spouse. He was in the lab, working.

“Mark,” Joel began softly not wanting to startle him.

Mark turned and got a sad look, “Hi, Joel. How are you?”

Joel looked surprised, “How am I!? How are you?”

“Miserable,” Mark laughed with little humor. He waved at Joel, “I think you are, too.”

Joel ran a hand through his hair, “I shower and dress...don’t I look alright?”

”No,” Mark smiled again with little humor. “You look like you lost part of you, Which you and I did. It’s written on your face.”

Joel nodded, “I’m not sleeping well.” He confessed.

“I know,” Mark agreed. He sighed, “But I refuse any sleeping medication. Are you taking any?”

“No,” Joel shook his head. “We have to grieve.”

“You know,” Mark began. “Hank’s using that medication to think clearer too much.”

Joel nodded agreeing, “He’s having a hard time, but getting Grief Counselling with Nayef and Tom.”

“He’s not dealing with it,” Mark said.

“We grieve on our own pace,” Joel waved at the large egg-like thing Mark was working on. “This isn’t Adel’s and Brice’s child.”

Mark nodded, “It’s Matt’s and my son.” He smiled, “We decided to move forward with it.” He shrugged, “Now that he’s gone, I couldn’t help it. I had to.”

“You have part of Matt here,” Joel said. “You could have grown Matt again.”

“A reproduction, yes,” Mark said. “Not Matt. Hank asked me to clone Rita, which I could. I told him it wouldn’t be his wife. It will look like her and may act like her but it will not be her. It will take decades to raise her to the right age.”

Joel nodded, “Because her life experience won’t be there.”

“That’s right,” Mark nodded. He laughed with more humor. “It’s amazing. Matt would be a pain in my ass. He could snore so loud.” He grinned, “I’d welcome that snore now.”

“We appreciate what was after we lose it,” Joel nodded.

Mark pointed, “I probably will make a copy of Matt one day. It will be like his son.”

The people here were smart and knew more about the Human condition. It was a week later when Athena came to Joel.

“I found out what happened,” she said.

Joel was holding Daylia. “Okay.”

“I found my old files and diagrams about my construction in their unprotected computer,” Athena said. “The projectiles were made so I would not see them until it was too late.” She now pleaded, “I could not see them.”

Joel nodded and smiled, “I figured it would be something like that. What about that bio-contaminate?”

“That was left over from some bloody wars,” Athena said. “They put it in stasis and sent it to us.”

Athena was acting more Human every day. She had regret and sorrow in her voice, and it seemed sincere.

Joel put Daylia in her bassinet and stood, “You weren’t to blame. You’ve done too much for me to believe otherwise.” This Athena, he could hug. He brought her to him. “I don’t fault you.” He looked at her, “It was from Campos Saies, wasn’t it?”

“Beyond any doubt,” Athena nodded.

“The bio-contaminate?” Joel asked.

“It was a weaponized form of Ebola,” Athena answered. “Zero chance of survival. They began dying immediately. Death would occur in minutes.”

“We need to know if there is anymore,” Joel said determined. “Send what you found out to Elysia, Mars and Earth.”

“I agree. It will be done.” Athena nodded and hesitantly reminded, “The memorial service is in a few hours.”

Joel nodded and blew an angry breath, “We’re burying no one! No caskets and no bodies. Just a headstone?”

“More than that, Joel,” Athena smiled. “Sara Beth’s legacy is all around you. Your children...” she waved at the quarters, “These many plants and flowers. She did this! Her roses and orchids...” She waved outside the quarters. “She brought life to Gaea! Rita brought me to life! I am her! Matt made life happen for many species, including Humans! He and Mark are having a child. Adel and Brice are having a child. The work they have done bringing species facing extinction are coming back to life. That is their headstones!”

Joel was nodding as Athena spoke, “You’re right. They will not be forgotten.”

Joel walked through to the Cavill’s side of their quarters carrying Daylia. Hank was not doing well at all. He was just lost.

“I need it to get through this!” He pleaded with Nayef.

“What’s going on?” Joel asked.

“He’s asking for the neurotropic again,” Nayef answered sadly.

“I can’t deal with all this!” Hank moaned crying. “I don’t have Rita!”

Joel smiled understanding, “You have to.” Joel shrugged. “Where is your brood?”

“Chloe and Rachel are getting their brother and sister ready,” Hank said.

“You have to deal with it for them!” Joel said. “I know how hard it is for my four, but you have to.” He walked over to Hank, “Believe me, I know. I understand.” He jostled Daylia lightly. “It’s hard to see more than your loss, but we have lives that depend on us, Hank. The most important thing is our children. Rita would want you to live...for them. Sara Beth wants me to. We also have over two thousand people depending on us and our clarity of thought.” He put an arm around Hank’s shoulder. “I need you. I need the dear friend I became accustomed to.”

Hank was sobbing more, “I don’t know how to go on.”

Joel smiled, “We do what we’ve done since leaving Earth. We depend on each other.” He looked at Nayef, “And I mean Nayef, Xolani...all of them.” He squeezed Hank, “But mostly us. We promise to be there for each other. I will be there for you. You promise to be there for me.’ He saw Hank nod. “Embrace the pain. It tells us how much they meant to us. I know Rita meant a lot to you. Sara Beth meant everything to me. It hurts, but don’t avoid it. Now. Let’s go to the service.”

Everyone was there in New Charleston’s city square, that wasn’t square but round. All faced the Angel Oak. There were three new headstones with the three names on them. One for each, It was Leif Andersen that came to stand before them all.

“My friends...” Leif’s voice broke with emotion, “No, that’s not right. We are more than friends. We are family.” He didn’t wipe away tears that were coming from his eyes. “We are Gaeans. All of us. We have been fortunate because we hadn’t lost anyone...until now.” He waved at the markers. “We lost very dear members of our family. Sara Beth Nesmith, wife and mother, but a dear friend to all of us.” He waved back at the Angel Oak, “She helped bring life from Earth and it thrives. Rita Cavill, wife and mother.” He motioned to Rob and Athena, “She gave minds to some that helped Gaea come to life! We all have computer access thanks to her!” He waved at Mark, “Matt Koval, husband and father. He brought lives to being and gave species with no hope a chance. He made it possible for Steven and I to have children! They were taken. They are not gone. Their work surrounds us. We can’t see birds or even insects without seeing them! The lush plants. The computer used to teach our children. They can not and will not be forgotten!”

Joel heard Hank begin to sob again. Joel moved closer and took his hand, “You’re not alone in this.” He said to Hank softly.

“To whomever you pray to,” Leif said, “Be it a God, the universe...whatever, remember these three souls fondly. We will take a moment, and all pause to do that.”

They did. A moment of silence that Joel realized was not so silent. The people made no noise, but there were bird calls and the buzzing of insects everywhere. Life! That made Joel smile. He saw butterflies landing on blooming flowers. He saw a bird fly into a tree. Sara Beth was everywhere. He kissed Daylia and put her in the antigravity carrier. He brought Ian, Jimmy and Kevin to him hugging them. Mark was standing with them and Hank brought him and hugged him tightly. Joel joined them in the hug.

“We will be there,” Joel promised. “Always.”

They broke the hug . Leif simply said, “Remember.” The whole group began to leave.

Joel stopped his sons. “Have you seen Lightening?”

Ian looked puzzled, “We didn’t feel like it.”

“You three need to see him,” Joel said. “Take Rachel and Chloe.” He waved at Hank’s daughters. “Lightening doesn’t know what happened. You need to tell him you haven’t left.” He looked at Rob, Apollo, Robot and Robbie, “You take them to see Lightening and the other colts.”

“Yes, Dad-Joel,” Robbie replied.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Apollo said.

“Your Mothers are all around us,” Joel said. “Look and see them. Now, go!”

Joel looked at Hank, “I need you.”

Hank nodded, “Okay.”

“We need Angus’ Harpy Stingers,” Joel fought to push his growing rage down. “We need to go to Brazil and see there are no more of those projectiles. We will see Luis Barroso and confront him.”

“That’s all?” Hank asked angrily.

“For now,” Joel nodded, “Yes. We need to know what else there is.” He looked at Mark, “We could use another couple of people.”

Mark looked surprised, “I don’t have the android body...”

“You can use one of the A1s,” Joel corrected. “Your body will be here, but your mind will be there.”

“We aren’t going to kill,” Mark said more as a question. “We aren’t at war.”

“They declared war on us!” Hank spat.

“No!” Joel raised a hand. “Campos Saies declared war on us. There are innocents there with the guilty. We need to know who is whom.” He looked directly at them. “There are five Harpy-Stingers we can take, leaving the rest to protect the Ark and Gaea. We have to go.”

“Who else?” Hank asked.

“Nayef and Xolani are needed while we’re gone,” Joel explained. “A week travel. I say Leif and Angus.”

Leif?” Mark asked.

“His membership in the Ocean’s Warriors says he’d be a great addition,” Joel grinned then got serious. “We fled Earth to leave war and violence behind us. We can’t do that and kill the first chance we have.”

“When?” Hank asked.

“As soon as we can get ready,” Joel said.

Nayef, Leah and Tom had been doing therapy for them. Now they were making sure the five going were ready to confront Luis Barroso. Joel’s three boys had gone to visit Lightening, seemingly they had a good time. Joel knew there was no way to “get over it.” It would take time. Ian was still withdrawn. Kevin didn’t have the pep in his steps, but Jimmy was having problems with depression. He lost his mother! Leah Rees was watching Joel’s and Hank’s children closely and carefully. Joel knew that back on Earth and in the “real world”...things would have been missed. Not here. Joel had training to deal with Human emotions and knew the stages of grief. He knew he was going through those stages. Hank was a very complicated man. While he was funny and a clown most of the time, he loved Rita deeply. Joel would keep an eye on him.

Nayef met with the chosen five before they left. “You’re showing up in five Harpy-Stingers,” he began. “With two A1s in each other than the A1s Mark, Leif and Angus are using. You aren’t seeking revenge.” He said to be sure.

Joel nodded, “It’s a show of force.”

Nayef smiled knowingly, “The design of the Harpy-Stingers is to strike fear in the hearts of others.”

“And to show we won’t back down,” Joel said angrily. “No, we’re not going to attack anyone, but if attacked, we will fight back.”

“I researched Brazilia,” Nayef waved at the computer. “It has a population of over two million people now.” He waved at the large map. “The total population is over one hundred million in South America and growing every day. Most of the Northern Hemisphere was destroyed with the bombs. Brazil is having immigrants coming from there.” He looked at them, “Innocent people that simply want to live.”

“They weren’t struck with any bomb,” Joel nodded.

“Yes,” Nayef said. “They do not need to pay for the...dementia of the dead dictator!”

“Dementia maybe a reason,” Hank spat. “It doesn’t excuse what happened.”

“No,” Nayef agreed. “It doesn’t.” Nayef sighed. “They had no bomb, but they did have war. Destroying over one hundred and fifty million people. Germ warfare...”

“Which explains the Ebola Campos Saies sent us,” Joel nodded understanding more.

“They have a sealed bunker where the worst is kept from spreading,” Nayef continued. “It is a concrete constructed dome twenty-five kilometers in diameter. That was erected quickly after Campos Saies died by Luis Barroso.”

Joel thought a moment, “We have to stop this violence because of violence. It sounds like Luis Barroso is trying. I still want to be sure.”

“You’re not including the people of Elysia,” Nayef pointed out. “Or the people of Ark V in Antarctica.”

“If there’s a clean-up,” Joel said. “We will have to use the people of Antarctica. That was why they were put there. The people of Elysia aren’t ready for this. We have the Stingers. First, let’s get there.”

Joel’s and Hank’s android bodies were loaded on two Harpy-Stingers, Mark was in an A1’s body. There were two additional A1s in each.

“Okay,” Joel said over the communications system. “Athena, please program the course to Earth.”

“The course is programmed,” Athena replied.

“Go,” Joel said. The five Harpy-Stingers leapt forward as one in formation. Joel again enjoyed the scenic portion added for him. The Stinger had the whine and just leapt on course.

Joel and the others regained consciousness in the Control Room. Joel checked to see that the Stingers were functioning properly. It would take a week to get there.

It was at Dinner in the Communal Dining Area when Joel was questioned by his sons and Daylia was there.

“You’re on your way to Earth,” Kevin said to understand. “Right now.”

“Yes,” Joel answered.

“But you can’t be killed?” Ian asked uncertainly.

Joel nodded, “We can’t. They could destroy the Stingers but never kill any of us.”

“Because of what they did to Mom?” Jimmy asked sadly.

“Only partly,” Joel began. “We’re going to make sure what that dictator did to us, he doesn’t do it to anyone else.”

Kevin frowned, “What was Campos Saies trying to do?”

Joel shrugged, “He suffered like many did in the past as they grew older. He became very paranoid and tried to destroy everyone...” he shook his head. “We won’t know until we get there. From conversations I had with Saies he was getting sicker by the day.”

“We don’t have that now,” Kevin said. “Do we?”

Joel laughed lightly, “No, with proper medical care we don’t.” He smiled at his sons. “We have the proper medical care. I won’t get the same thing.” He looked at his daughter. “Jim, this carrier is great. You did some good work for your sister and others.”

Jimmy shrugged, “The principle was the same as with the jet-bikes. The carriers just needed support to stay upright when not activated.”

Joel sighed as he looked at his boys, “This is hard, I know. Your mother was very important to all of us. You will be sad often many times. That’s okay. I feel sad many times. Your life will go on.” He smiled, “Your mother would want you to. Feeling pride with what you do...” He said to Jimmy, and he looked at Ian, “Feeling joy with your music or being happy with your friend Lightening, does not mean you don’t love your mother.” He touched Daylia, “I see your mother in every one of you. I cherish that. I miss her very badly. She would tell each of you to live! Be happy again.”

“How?” Kevin asked in tears.

Joel nodded, “That’s for you to find out. You’re telling Dr. Rees this. She will help you.”

“What’s up with Uncle Hank and the passage to their quarters?” Kevin asked.

“He needs as much help as we do,” Joel said. “He’s raising Chloe, Rachel, Alicia and Little Henry alone...” Joel grinned. “They’re not alone. They have us.”

“It hurts!” Jimmy cried.

“Proof that you love her,” Joel smiled and sighed. “It’s hard to understand but welcome the pain. If you don’t, you didn’t love her.” He held his hand up, “As time passes, you feel less pain. That doesn’t mean you don’t love her. You will never forget, you will just become accustomed to it. You will never lose her.”

“Think about Dad,” Kevin touched his brother. “We know a big part of what they have is about sex.” He waved at his father, “Dad’s sex partner is gone!”

Sara Beth and Joel didn’t shy away from nudity from their boys nor did they not tell them about their relationship and sex. How would the boys navigate the world without knowledge they’d need? His sons were worrying about him? That touched Joel’s heart.

“There must be someone that will have sex with you,” Jimmy said logically.

Joel held a hand up, “It’s too soon for that yet.”

“What about Mom’s android body?” Kevin asked. “It’s fully functional.”

Joel smiled sadly, “Yes, but it won’t be your mother. Your mother won’t be in it.” He sighed, “Your mother and I had a good relationship. What we had was more than the action of sex. Emotions are the key to a good...or bad marriage. Ours was a very good one.” He smiled. Whenever he had a dangerous mission where he could die. He made Sara Beth swear to him that if he died, afterwards if someone attracted her...she would not refuse that person because of Joel. If he, or she was a good person and could be a good parent to their children go for it. Sara Beth made him promise the same. He mentally shook his head. It was way too soon for him to think about that. Still, it was nice for his sons to think of him.

The next day Joel and Hank went to the grand circular virtual meeting place to speak with Wilma and Joseph Dunn from Elysia, Lieutenant Commander Raymond Bouillion from Ark V and Lucus Saint-George of the United Worlds’ Space Administration on Mars. Four worlds, two of which were lightyears away and apart, they faced each other.

“We are so sorry for what happened to both of you,” Wilma said compassionately.

“What Compos Saies did is unforgivable,” Lucus added.

“Thank you,” Joel said feeling the wave of pain.

“You didn’t allow us to come with you,” Joseph said. “We would stand by you,”

Joel smiled and nodded, “I know. However, we were attacked. We have the manpower and ships to respond.” His head wavered, “Make that person power, since a lot is going to be done by Athena.” He looked at the others there. “We will respond. I intend to land in Brazilia and confront Luis Barroso directly.”

“No retribution?” Joseph asked.

“We will fight back,” Joel said firmly. “We won’t back down.”

“Retaliation for what his grandfather did won’t bring Matt, Sara Beth or Rita back,” Hank said looking at Joel.

“If Earth is going to heal,” Joel nodded at Hank, then he continued. “We’ve got to start in Brazil and Antarctica.” He gave Lieutenant Commander Raymond Bouillion a sad smile. “I don’t envy your job with that. Be ready to have people move into Brazil, We may need the military backup with the political system. We need to know about any corruption and get rid of that.”

“You suspect there is more?” Ray asked.

“I’d bet on it. This wasn’t about the Earth First movement or being part of Amigos dos Amigos,” Joel said. “What’s inside that bunker Barroso erected? Have you any idea?” He asked Lucus.

“We haven’t been able to go there,” Lucus shrugged. “He told our forces it was highly contaminated. That’s why he sealed it. We can’t go in there.”

Joel looked at Hank, “We can. Even if we transfer to a couple of A1s or A2s...we can go in there.” He smiled at them, “And you will see all we do as it happens. There will be no mistakes.”

“We’ll be watching,” Lucus assured them.

Nayef and Xolani would be in charge when Joel and the others went down to Earth. It was another three days before the Harpy-Stingers reached Earth. It had been a beautiful blue world. Now there are black and brown marks, especially in the Northern Hemisphere.

Joel and Hank lowered their Harpy-Stingers high above Brazilia, Joel had broadcasted below for all to hear. “Luis Roberto Barroso! We need to talk. Now!! Stop whatever you’re doing. We are landing in a matter of minutes. Be aware that you won’t be able to scan us or harm us. We are landing. Now!”

The city below was taking shape and improvements were being constructed. Joel had seen where the capital building was and lowered his Stinger slowly. There were people moving below all looking up. The birds of prey lowered to a landing pad near the capital. Nayef was right. The Stingers were designed to cause fear and that was what was happening below as people fled. Armed men gathered aiming weapons at the Stingers. Two of the Stingers landed gently and a door on each opened. Joel, Hank and four additional A1s stepped onto the pad. An excited armed man fired his rifle as did another. The bullets, the first aimed at an A1 just bounced off it. The other hit the Stinger and ricocheted somewhere. The man in charge of these men angrily ordered a ceasefire.

“You should be careful. There’s no telling where those shots went. If you’re finished with your posturing,” Joel began. His voice was loud enough to be heard by all of them. “I am Commander Joel Kevin Nesmith.” He recognized a man he had spoken with. Joel waved at Hank, “This is my First Officer Dr. Henry Cavill. We call him Hank. We’re from the Ark II.” He walked toward Brazil’s leader. “We need to talk.”