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    1brokNangel
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Walking Through Darkness - 4. Foresaken

Shrieking in horror my minds eye seeing
beyond all things unseen , the world
beyond a vast wasteland of agony and
grief ... despair never ending .
 
Hopelessness reins throughout the
cavernous halls the wailing horrors
echoing through the surrounding darkness ,
the chill that lingers in the air , unknown
creatures stirring in the dark delighted
by the suffering the poor souls that are
trapped forever in the embrace of eternal
dark , suffering unknown horrors - the agony -
beyond all imagination , beyond description .
 
Never the light of day are these poor souls to
see again - the pity that is felt for those that
suffer ...
 
Oh woe are the forsaken that suffer such
agony and grief .
Copyright © 2015 1brokNangel; All Rights Reserved.
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You know I love what you write, I just issues with the form. To me it's hard to read because it seem to just run on.. breaking it down and changing the punctuation would help:

 

Shrieking in horror; my minds eye seeing
beyond all things unseen.
The world beyond a vast wasteland,
of agony and grief ...
despair never ending.

Watch the empty spaces betweeen commas and periods.
But on the whole, I like what you write. I think your word choices are great.
tim

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Wow. What an amazing poem, Angel. I read it quite a few times. It's very sad, very sorrowful and very chilling. It's an extremely chilling poem.

 

I got the feeling those lost souls were in hell, but of course, I don't really know for sure. It just seemed from the words you used, they were in hell, and would never 'see the light of day again'. Ok, I paraphrased the last part! lol

 

Excellent poem, Angel.

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