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    1brokNangel
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Walking Through Darkness - 4. Foresaken

Shrieking in horror my minds eye seeing
beyond all things unseen , the world
beyond a vast wasteland of agony and
grief ... despair never ending .
 
Hopelessness reins throughout the
cavernous halls the wailing horrors
echoing through the surrounding darkness ,
the chill that lingers in the air , unknown
creatures stirring in the dark delighted
by the suffering the poor souls that are
trapped forever in the embrace of eternal
dark , suffering unknown horrors - the agony -
beyond all imagination , beyond description .
 
Never the light of day are these poor souls to
see again - the pity that is felt for those that
suffer ...
 
Oh woe are the forsaken that suffer such
agony and grief .
Copyright © 2015 1brokNangel; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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You know I love what you write, I just issues with the form. To me it's hard to read because it seem to just run on.. breaking it down and changing the punctuation would help:

 

Shrieking in horror; my minds eye seeing
beyond all things unseen.
The world beyond a vast wasteland,
of agony and grief ...
despair never ending.

Watch the empty spaces betweeen commas and periods.
But on the whole, I like what you write. I think your word choices are great.
tim

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Wow. What an amazing poem, Angel. I read it quite a few times. It's very sad, very sorrowful and very chilling. It's an extremely chilling poem.

 

I got the feeling those lost souls were in hell, but of course, I don't really know for sure. It just seemed from the words you used, they were in hell, and would never 'see the light of day again'. Ok, I paraphrased the last part! lol

 

Excellent poem, Angel.

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