The Weight of a Secret - 10. Chapter 10

That summer I once again worked for my dad, so I typically wasn’t available when Connor had the house to himself and wanted a foot massage. When we did hang out we usually just talked and played video games while his parents, Patrick, or both were upstairs. This was when he'd fill me in on all the intimate details about him and Maddy. Things he’d tell only me and maybe Liam.

When the fall semester arrived, Connor and I were both busy. I took an SAT review course and then the test itself. Connor was too busy with football, schoolwork, and Maddy to summon me very often, but he did call me over for a foot massage in early October.

“Remember when you told me about Mark using your room?” He asked as I worked both of my hands on his right foot.

I knew exactly where he was going with this and said, with a chuckle, “I’m guessing you want to borrow my room?”

“You know me so well,” he said with a smile. “Maddy and I have been going out for about a year now and we really like each other. We are both ready to have sex but want to make sure it’s special. Her house is off limits; she has three younger brothers, and someone is always around. It’s tough to plan it here too.”

I thought for a second, momentarily stopping the massage, “you know, Mark is playing in a travel baseball tournament in Maryland over the Columbus Day holiday. I’m definitely not going with them, so I should be able to set something up for you.“

His eyes lit up. “If I can work it out, do you think we'd be able to spend the night?”

I shrugged. “I don't see why not, but how can you pull that off?”

He looked down at me with a confident smile. ”It should be easy. I'll use the old sleepover at Liam's house trick. I'm pretty sure Maddy can say she's staying at her friend Anna's house.”

“OK, ”I replied, “let me know. I think it will be good to go on my end.”

Connor worked things out for the Saturday of that holiday weekend. He was going to take her to a nice restaurant in town for dinner and then to my house to spend the night.

Early that evening, I set the room up, tidying up and putting on a new set of sheets. I grabbed a few fresh towels and two clean robes and placed them on my desk. I even put an ice bucket, two water bottles, and two glasses on top of the nightstand. I thought about candles but figured that could be a fire hazard. The last thing I wanted was to have to explain to my parents why the fire department had to be called.

As I went downstairs, he texted me. It looked like he was doing so in a hurry.

<Connor> - get condoms, forgot

<Connor> - Xlarge

I chuckled after reading it and just replied, “k.”

I drove down to the local pharmacy and picked up a box. It was a variety pack, regular, ribbed and extra lube, and yes, the size was extra large. I went back up and put the box on my nightstand.

It was less than an hour later when the doorbell rang. Connor was holding a small bottle of champagne in one hand, with his other arm around Maddy. They were dressed casually but looked neat and well-put-together. Maddy wore a pair of dark, fitted jeans and a simple, stylish sweater, with her hair pulled back in a clean ponytail. She had a light, natural-looking amount of makeup on. Connor had on a crisp, long-sleeved polo shirt and a pair of clean khakis.

I opened the door, a small smile on my face. "Hey guys, come on in."

Maddy smiled back, a hint of blush on her cheeks. "Hey, Andrew. Thanks so much for this."

"Of course," I said, stepping aside to let them pass. "Make yourselves at home. Can I get you guys anything? Water, soda?"

"We're good, thanks," Connor said, holding up the bottle. "We came prepared."

"Sounds good," I said, my gaze briefly going from the bottle to his face. "Well, my room's all set for you. You know where it is. I bought some wings, mozzarella sticks and dip. They’re in the fridge and there are chips on the kitchen counter in case you get hungry later. Just let me know if you need anything else."

Connor nodded, a grateful look in his eyes. "Awesome, man. Thanks again. You're the best."

Maddy gave me a friendly wave. "Thanks again, Andrew!"

I watched them as they walked up the stairs, disappearing toward my room. I went into the family room with a book. I curled up on the couch, trying to get lost in the story, but my mind kept wandering. From upstairs, I heard the faint murmur of conversation and a low giggle. I could hear footsteps as they moved around. Then, the bedsprings let out a low, slow groan, followed by a rhythmic squeak. I heard a wave of muffled sounds pass through the floorboards, soft moans that swelled and faded.

I tried to focus on my book, but my mind kept returning to the sounds from upstairs. The sounds, though faint, were arousing. I tried to focus instead on Connor and Maddy's happiness. It made me smile, a quiet sense of satisfaction settling in.

I eventually dozed off and was awakened by Connor's hand gently shaking my shoulder. He was wearing just my robe, open, with his no longer virgin penis soft and swaying back and forth.

“Andrew,“ he said in a loud whisper, “go to the basement. We're going to grab a bite to eat in the kitchen.“

He darted back up the steps to the second floor as I descended to the basement. I kept the basement door open so I'd hear when they went back up. They were there for a very long time, and there was a lot of giggling, laughing and movement. After a while it got quiet again. I waited a bit longer, then silently headed back up the stairs. I peeked in the kitchen and saw they had left a bit of a mess.

There were plates, cups, and used paper napkins on the table and the empty bottle of champagne on the counter. I put the plates and cups in the dishwasher and started a wash cycle. I grabbed a new plastic garbage bag to collect all the incriminating evidence and put the used napkins and champagne bottle in it.

I noticed there were some food crumbs on a chair and on the floor, and when I bent down to pick them up, I noticed there was a used condom and a wrapper under the table. The condom was laying flat, puddling onto the floor through the opening. I picked it up and held it for a second, knowing the contents were fresh and had recently been produced by Connor. It still felt warm. I wiped the semen off the floor with a wet paper towel and dropped the condom and wrapper into the garbage bag.

I looked at my watch and realized it was past midnight. I tiptoed up the stairs, bringing the garbage bag up with me to use to clean my room once Connor and Maddy left. I got ready for bed using Peter's bathroom so as not to disturb Connor and Maddy, and then headed to Mark's room to sleep.

Connor must have forgotten to close the door to my room because I could hear them talking. It got quiet for a bit, a silence that was broken by a sound that can best be described as a cat meowing. As the sounds became louder and clearer, it was obvious Connor was inside her. I thought of him, hard and in command, and it made me feel warm all over. It lasted for what seemed like a long time and then I heard his deep, satisfied grunt. It always made me happy when I heard Connor make that sound.

The next morning I was awakened by the sound of more sex, but it seemed louder and closer. I got out of bed and went up to the door of the shared bathroom. I could hear water running. They were doing it in the shower!

I didn't want to get in their way or interfere in any way with their post-coital bliss, so I stayed in Mark's room. After the shower, they dressed and left. It was time to clean up any mess they’d left behind.

I started with the bathroom. On the floor I found two robes and two wet towels. In the shower, I discovered a used condom whose tip was filled with Connor's semen. I picked it up and held it to the light, looking at the white fluid through the translucent yellow rubber. This would have been his third or fourth time ejaculating in just a few hours, and I was amazed at how much semen he had still produced. I turned on the water and washed the shower area, especially where Connor had dropped the condom. I left the towels and robes on the floor in a pile for laundry, and put the condom and its wrapper in the garbage bag which I carried with me to my room.

The comforter was on the floor at the foot of the bed. There were three condom wrappers on the floor and night table and two full used condoms on the floor. The condoms had not been tied but, thankfully, Connor’s semen had not spilled onto the carpet. I picked up the used condoms and the condom wrappers and dropped them all into the garbage bag.

I then realized the math didn't work: three wrappers but so far only two condoms. I went in search of the missing prophylactic. I started to pull back the top sheet and noticed a drying pool of semen and an amazingly large semen stain at different spots on the fitted sheet, but I found no sign of the condom that had gone astray. It finally surfaced when I completely removed the top sheet from the bed. Right where the top sheet had been tucked under the mattress was the missing bugger. I imagined the condom must have gotten pushed there by their feet at some point after leaking on the bed.

I pulled the fitted sheet off the bed, took the pillow cases off the pillows, and wiped down the plastic mattress cover. I then took everything downstairs and started a large wash using the hot water cycle.

That done, I went back upstairs and surveyed my bedroom. The rest of the room was in good shape. Both water bottles had been finished. One bottle was capped and in the bucket. The other was on the nightstand with the cap next to it. The box of condoms was also on the nightstand. I put the condoms in the back of my bottom drawer and placed the garbage in the bag.

Just as I was doing that, I got a text from Connor.

<Connor> - Hey Andrew - hope we didn't leave too much of a mess. We were running super late, and had to rush to get Maddy home in time. I’m exhausted but I can come over to help you clean up if you want.

<Andrew> - Nah, I got it, but you can come over to hang out if you want and just relax. Hope you had a great time!

<Connor> - It was amazing! Thanks so much, bro! Maybe I’ll stop by in a little while.

I brought the garbage bag outside and stuffed it inside a kitchen garbage bag that was already in the outside drum. I went back upstairs and double checked the condom box. Thankfully, there were 7 still unused condoms in the box. The last thing I needed was a used condom popping up somewhere else in my house to be discovered by who knows who!

The door bell rang just as I finished cleaning. Connor looked tired but his smiling face was filled with pride. He was dressed very casually, wearing an open light jacket over a t-shirt, gym shorts and flip flops. He was walking more deliberately than usual. He sat on the couch and spoke calmly and confidently, beaming the whole time.

“Are you fully recovered?” I asked jokingly.

“Yeah… but I’m wiped out,” he said. “My dick and the surrounding area actually hurt! I didn't think cumming could make you so sore!”

We both chuckled. “I can imagine,” I replied, nodding my head. “I mean what did you expect after cumming five times!”

“Well 6, if we're actually counting,” he said, proudly.

A look of horror on my face, “Six?!? Did I miss a condom!?!”

He laughed, “Once was without a condom. I woke up rock hard and we started kissing and I unloaded just from rubbing against her. That made a huge mess on the sheets.”

"Oh yeah,” I said, “I did see that on the sheets. And you guys did it in the kitchen too!" I said incredulously. "How did that happen?"

"That sort of just did," he explained. "We had finished eating and drinking, and we started kissing. One thing led to another, and bang! Fortunately I’d put a condom in the pocket of my robe just in case before we headed downstairs."

I clenched my teeth and closed one eye, then said with mock horror, "please tell me you didn’t do it on the kitchen table."

Connor laughed. "No, I sat in the chair and she rode me. It was awesome. That made me cum the quickest, and she had an orgasm right after me. Her whole body just tensed up, and she let out this quiet moan and just collapsed on my chest. I could feel her whole body trembling. It was fucking intense!"

"Wow!" I said.

"The second time in bed… man, that was even better,” he said, a soft smile on his face as he reminisced. “We were just messing around, kissing, and she had her back against the pillows with her legs wrapped around me. I could tell she was getting close because she started speeding up and her whole body started to get this little shake. Then she let out a soft cry and just clung to me, burying her face in my shoulder. Her whole body tensed, and she started moaning and begging me to fuck her harder. I just lost it. I came so hard inside her, and my groans and her moans were all mixed up. We lay there for a minute, our bodies trembling, still entangled. It felt so amazing to know I could make her feel like that.”

"We did it in the shower too, standing up – that was great!"

"Yeah," I replied with a smile, "You left DNA evidence in there."

He laughed, then added, "I couldn't have dreamed for it to go any better than it did, and you deserve a lot of the credit. Thanks, Andrew.”

                                                                                                                        ***

A few weeks later I had a big blow up with Zack. It was during football season, so Connor was busy with school, sports, and Maddy, and I felt very lonely. On Tuesday morning, three days after the big fight, I called Connor before school.

“Hey, what’s up?” he answered, sounding a little winded.

“Hey, man, did I catch you in the middle of something?” I asked.

“Just doing some conditioning runs. Everything okay, Andrew?”

“Not really. I had this huge blow-up with Zack, and I think we’re done,” I admitted, the words feeling heavy.

Connor paused. “Wow. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’d like that,” I replied instantly.

“Okay. Why don’t you pick me up right after practice today? I’ll cancel my plans with Maddy this afternoon so that we have plenty of time to talk. I might need your help with a massage, though. If you’re picking me up immediately after practice, I won’t be able to spend any time in the whirlpool.”

“That sounds perfect, Connor. See you later,” I said, feeling happy that he was making time for me.

Later that afternoon, I picked Connor up right as football practice ended. We talked about school and how the football season was going as I drove him home. We got to his house and started playing video games while we sat on his basement couch.

After a few minutes, Connor put his controller down and looked at me seriously. “Okay. Tell me what happened with Zack on Saturday, man. You said it was a huge blow-up. What was it about? Did he get you in trouble?”

I stopped and ran a hand through my hair, as I put the controller down and turned to face him so we could talk face to face. “No, not really trouble. It was just... completely messed up. We’re barely talking now. He called me over to his house to clean his room and the bathroom—his and Trevor’s. The usual, except it wasn't the usual. I got there and he told me I had to strip down naked before I even started cleaning. I complained, but he just screamed at me: 'Stop. Just fucking do it!'”

Connor frowned. “Naked? For cleaning? Why? That’s kind of messed up, and with Trevor there?”

“Yeah, Trevor was there. His door was open. I had to walk up and down the stairs, carrying their dirty laundry, totally exposed, while both of them were fully dressed. Zack even asked Trevor if he was 'okay with Andrew having no clothes on.' Trevor just said, 'Yes, it's fine.' Like I was furniture or something.”

“Jesus, Andrew. I can’t believe he made you do that,” Connor said, shaking his head.

“It got worse. When I was cleaning their shared bathroom, Zack comes in and tells me to move over so he can piss, right in front of me, while I'm on my knees. Didn't even flush. Trevor was watching the whole time from the doorway, and they were both grinning.” My voice was low, strained with leftover rage.

“What the hell is his problem? Connor spat, sitting up straighter. “So, you finally snapped?”

“Yeah, after I was done and dressed, he made me thank Trevor for 'inspecting' the room, and I was just seething. I called him later, and he tried to blow it off, saying 'Trevor is cool with it.' When I told him he was taking advantage of me, he went ballistic.”

“What did he say?”

“He kept saying, 'I’ve always had your back,' and 'maybe you need to learn more about who you are.' Then he got aggressive and tried to change the subject. The conversation ended when he screamed, 'fuck you, Andrew!' into the phone and hung up. He hung up on me, Connor. He's never done that.”

Connor listened, his protective expression shifting to one of genuine anger. “Andrew, that’s… that’s utterly messed up. He didn’t just hang up on you, he completely humiliated you and then screamed at you when you finally pushed back. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and he's taking it way too far.”

He stood up, his jaw clenched, pacing the small space in front of the couch. His voice was low and dangerous, vibrating with rage. “Who the hell does he think he is? I’m calling him right now. He needs to know he can’t treat you like that. I’m going to give Zack a piece of my mind.”

I jumped up, placing a hand on his forearm. His muscles felt hard beneath my fingers. “No, Connor, please don’t,” I pleaded. The thought of him fighting my battles, and the inevitable drama it would cause, made my stomach clench. “It won’t help. He’ll just get worse, and he’ll blame me. Just… let it drop. I just needed a sympathetic ear.”

Connor stared at me, his anger slowly dissipating, replaced by a deep, sympathetic concern. He sighed, pulling me close for a brief, hard hug. “Okay, okay. I won’t call him. But if he ever talks to you like that again, tell him to go fuck himself. You hear me? Keep standing your ground, man.”

“I hear you,” I whispered into his shoulder, a profound sense of comfort washing over me.

As I moved back from him, he sat down and ran his hands over his legs. “Look, I told you I skipped the whirlpool and needed a massage, right? Can you help get that tension out of my feet and legs? I need a massage pretty badly. Practice was really tough today.”

I nodded immediately, grateful for the physical, familiar ritual that connected us. I slid off the couch and onto the floor. As I pulled off his sneakers and damp, sweat-soaked football socks, Connor’s familiar scent rose to greet me. I held his right foot in my hands as I worked my thumbs on his arch, while his other foot rested on my shoulder. Our conversation about Zack faded into the past, replaced by the immediate, simple task of taking care of someone I was confident genuinely cared about me. I was home, right where I needed to be, at Connor’s feet.

“You’re a good boy Andrew,” he murmured, “a very good boy,” as I finished working on his right foot and he put his left foot in my hands.

It felt good to talk to Connor, but the stalemate between Zack and me continued for months. Christmas passed as did our 18th birthdays. We typically gave each other a combination Christmas/birthday present, but for the first time in years we didn't exchange gifts after the blow up. I actually bought him something but didn't give it to him. The iciness between us did not melt until the first week of April, after the college acceptances came back. Zack, Patrick, and I were all accepted into Harvaleton.

Zack and I made up at a party in the town park. The party traditionally was held on the Friday of the first full week of April, after all the college acceptances were in. Everyone wore a shirt from the college they would be attending. Connor came over Saturday afternoon, and I had a lot to tell him.

“Patrick is really pumped up to be going to Harvaleton with you and Zack,” said Connor. “How was the party?”

“It was cool wearing the Harvaleton shirt,” I replied, “but honestly, I wasn’t excited to be there. It’s the same park where the swirlie happened, and I was just anticipating trouble.”

“And you knew Zack would be there?” Connor asked, his voice low and attentive.

“I figured. Before the fight, he told me his mom would be out of town, so he was planning to go and bring Trevor since no one would hassle Trevor. I had offered to watch Trevor while he attended the party, but after our fight, I decided I would go to the party instead of staying with Trevor. I hung out with Patrick for a bit first. He was carrying a bag and offered me a beer.”

“Did you take it?” Connor asked with a smile.

“Sure. I took a sip and asked if Zack was there. Patrick confirmed he was with Trevor, but said Zack had walked him down to the outer baseball fields because Trevor was getting upset with all the noise. I didn’t think anything of it then. When Patrick excused himself to go hang out with his girlfriend Carly, I walked over to where Finn was standing alone.”

I paused for a moment, recalling the conversation that had changed everything for me. “Finn and I were talking, and he just came out and asked, ‘So did you get into a fight with Zack? Got tired of being his bitch?’ We laughed, but then I told him I just felt used, like he only called me when he wanted something.”

Connor shook his head.

“That’s when Finn dropped a bomb on me,” I explained. “He told me that Zack has been covering my back for years, and I never knew it. There was this kid Carson who was going to jump me freshman year. Finn said Zack talked him out of it. He said once I left my hamburger on the table at lunch and Zack saw Aaron spit in it. Zack knocked the burger off the table, making it look like an accident, and then bought me a new one. Finn also said some kid stole my purple gym bag from my locker, and Zack made him put it back before anything happened to it.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Seriously? He never told you about that stuff?”

“Never. He just did it. Finn said there were dozens more times and that Zack had always looked out for me. He really threw me for a loop, and I started wondering whether I had overreacted to the way Zack had treated me. I was trying to process all of this, still standing with Finn, when Ian walked back from the far fields.”

I took a deep breath, the memory still making my skin crawl. “Ian was hammered. He saw me and yelled, ‘Andrew, do you remember this place? Why don’t we take a walk to the bathroom?’ He was mocking me about the swirlie, Connor. He told Herman and Kevin to hold me while he unzipped his pants.”

Connor’s eyes narrowed as he exclaimed, “I swear to God, Andrew, if I had been there…”

“Fortunately, Zack showed up,” I said quickly. “He saw what was happening, came running over, and yelled, ‘hey, what the fuck is going on!?’ Ian, all drunk, sneered at him and asked if he was there to protect his girlfriend. That’s when Zack just shot back, ‘You sure want to talk about girlfriends?’”

“What did that even mean?” Connor asked, sounding confused.

“I have no idea. But Ian’s whole face changed. He instantly backed off, zipped up, shook my hand, and pretended it had all been just a joke. The crowd disappeared, leaving just Zack, Patrick, Trevor, and me.”

“He saved your ass, man. He really did,” Connor stated.

“Yeah, he did. Then Trevor started getting agitated, shouting he wanted to go home. Before Zack could even move, I just grabbed Trevor’s hands, calmed him down, and told Zack I’d take him home. Zack tried to object, but I just cut him off and started walking with Trevor. It was like I had to prove to myself that I had Zack’s back, too.

“When we got back to Zack’s house, Trevor went straight upstairs, but before he closed his door, he asked, ‘Are you going to take your clothes off like Zack wants?’ I just shrugged and told him I didn’t know. I sat in Zack’s room, thinking. I realized I hadn’t seen the whole picture. He’d been protecting me, but I had been too focused on the humiliation to see his loyalty.

“Zack came home less than an hour later. I met him upstairs and thanked him for bailing me out. I told him I knew I’d been a real dick the last few months.”

Connor interrupted, exclaiming, “you were absolutely not being a dick, Andrew!!!”

“Maybe,” I replied, looking at Connor with a soft, contented smile. “Anyway, Zack brushed off my apology and said I wasn't being a dick and that he knew I just needed time to think. As I was leaving, I remembered I had missed his birthday, so I wished him a belated happy birthday. He said he still had my Christmas/birthday gift, and I told him I had his too. We hugged, and I felt the full force of his friendship again. The trust was restored. It felt amazing.”

Connor let out a long breath, “Wow, Andrew. That’s a hell of a story. It proves two things: first, Zack was a better friend to you than I realized, and second, you are still way too forgiving and way too hard on yourself. But I’m happy you two are back on solid ground, man.