The Weight of a Secret - 11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Connor came over the afternoon after the college acceptance party at the Park, I didn’t mention that Zack wanted to make me his slave. Zack had only told me that morning how much he wanted me to be his slave, and I wasn’t ready to talk to Connor about it. The whole idea still seemed far-fetched. I didn’t want to say anything that might unnecessarily embarrass Zack. Besides what I really wanted to tell Connor was that Zack and I had made up.

Around the Fourth of July, my conversations with Zack about slavery got super serious and things started moving super fast. And by that Friday, so much had happened that I really wanted to talk to Connor about it. I was planning to text him to ask him to make time for a chat when, by chance, he texted me:

<Connor> - My feet are sore AF - could use a good rub.

<Andrew> - I'll be right over. There’s also something important going on in my life that I want to run past you.

When I got over there, he was sitting on the couch wearing just shorts, and his feet were up on a pillow. I got right to work, first spreading essential oils on each of his feet. Massaging his feet helped calm me down, but I was still nervous.

“Connor,” I began, trying to sound measured, though my heart was pounding. “I have something important to tell you. You’re going to think it’s crazy.”

He shifted, picking up on my solemn tone. “What’s up, man?

“It’s about Zack and what caused our fight last November,” I explained. “When we made up, he was totally honest with me. He admitted those times he made me strip or clean the bathroom while he was in there? That wasn't just him testing how far he could push me as a joke. He was experimenting with something serious.”

“Experimenting with what, Andrew?” Connor asked, his brow furrowed.

“With Master/Slave stuff. He’d been researching it and he even met some kind of expert, a doctor of psychology named Max, who was sending him articles. Zack said he was using those tips to see what role felt right for him, and what felt right for me. He was pushing his boundaries, not just mine, and he felt like he was meant to be the master.”

Connor stared at me, dumbfounded. “Master and Slave? Seriously? That’s what he was doing? That’s messed up, Andrew. And what did you say?”

“I was surprised, but I told him I was curious, especially after how he had my back at the party. So, I agreed to look into it with him. A few days ago, I actually ended up talking to Max, too. The guy gave me a test to figure out where I land on the dominance/submission spectrum.”

“A test? What the hell did it say?”

“Max said my results were off the charts. He called me an extreme 'giver'—it’s more than just submissive. He said I have this innate, deep-seated need to serve, and without it, I won’t feel whole. When I asked him what this all meant, he said that Zack and I fit the roles perfectly—that we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum.”

I could see Connor trying to process the information; he nodded but looked concerned.

“Max sent us a draft 'contract' to look over. It’s not legally binding, but it’s a framework for what a Master/Slave relationship involves, and that’s where it gets absolutely insane.”

“Zack wants to go through with this, like, formally?”

“He does,” I replied. I swallowed hard, pausing because even saying the words out loud felt surreal.

“The contract gives Zack control over nearly every aspect of my life. Outside of school, family, and work, I basically surrender all rights and privileges, including the right to cum. He gets the right to discipline and punish me, even physically. And the worst part, Connor—the craziest thing in there—is the financial clause. It says that from the point of commitment, Zack would own all my future earnings.”

Connor’s hand clenched into a fist on his thigh. “Andrew, stop! That’s not a contract, that’s full blown slavery! He owns your money? You can’t be considering this. You work too hard for that.”

“I know! I know it sounds crazy,” I admitted, looking down at the carpet. “But I read the book Max suggested, and I did more research. It’s not about who is better or smarter. It’s about trust and need. Zack said that he only wants this with me and that he feels like a 'king' when he thinks about it. And after everything he’s done to protect me, and with what Max told me about my own needs, I’m conflicted. I still feel so safe and close to him, and there’s a part of me that desperately wants to be his slave—I want to please him that much.”

I looked up at Connor, pleading for understanding. “Max told us to read up and then talk to each other. I just… I don’t know what to do next. It feels terrifying, but it also feels right.”

Connor ran a hand over his face, a deep, frustrated sigh escaping him. He shook his head slowly. “Andrew, I love you, man,” he said, his voice low and serious. “This would be a huge decision, and it would change your life. If you’re even thinking about something like this, you better be damn sure that the loyalty you feel isn't just a trap. You need to know that he’ll use that power to protect not destroy you.”

I knew Connor was right. Every sensible part of my brain screamed that giving up control over my life and my money was insane, but the deep, desperate pull to serve—the one Max said was inherent in me—was winning.

"I hear you, Connor," I finally said, my voice barely a whisper. "And thank you. I promise I won't do anything rash. I'll think about everything you said before I talk to Zack about the contract again."

Connor leaned forward, his expression softening slightly. "That's all I ask, Andrew. I just want you to be safe and happy, whatever that looks like. Just make sure you're the one making the choice, not that psycho psychologist Max."

A few days later, a Tuesday, I was at home reviewing college materials when my phone buzzed with two text notifications in quick succession.

The first text was from Connor:

<Connor> - Just had a talk with Zack about you. I felt like I had to. I feel way better now, man. Headed home from the pool. I’ll stop by your place in a bit.

My heart immediately seized. Before I could process the sudden anxiety I felt or even type a reply, another text arrived, this one from Zack:

<Zack> - Holy shit, Andrew. I didn't realize you and Connor were so close.

I stared at the screen, a weird feeling settling over me that gave me chills. Connor hadn't just given me advice; he'd taken direct action and gone straight to Zack. It was a deeply protective move that showed how much he genuinely cared about me. The complex emotion I felt was dizzying: two of the most important people in my life were now converging in an unexpected way. Connor was trying to make sure I was safe, and Zack was surprised by the unexpected depth of my relationship with Connor.

I texted Connor back:

<Andrew> - K. See you soon.

Then texted Zack:

<Andrew> - Yeah we are close. I'll stop by later today so we can chat about Connor and about what we've been discussing with Max.

I didn't have to wait long. Fifteen minutes after the texts arrived, the doorbell rang. It was Connor. He walked in, gave me a sheepish smile, and headed straight for the couch.

“Okay,” he said, sitting down heavily. “I hope you’re OK with me talking to Zack. I honestly couldn’t sleep thinking about that contract. I had to know Zack was on the level.”

I sat opposite him, my nerves buzzing. “I know, man. But what did you two even talk about? He sounded totally thrown.”

Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I told him that you’d confided in me about the Master/Slave idea, and that I was worried about the parts of the contract that sounded… well, genuinely insane. I brought up your future, your money, and the power dynamic. I basically laid down the law and told him if he was serious about you, he had to be a good Master—a genuinely caring one, not just a dominant asshole.”

“And what did he say?” I asked, holding my breath.

“He was… really decent, actually. He told me that he values you more than anyone, and that the financial part is more about the symbolic weight of the commitment, not actually ruining your life. He promised me he would never use his power to harm you or destroy your future. He said the relationship, for him, is about trust and respect first. It made me feel a lot better, Andrew. I really think he’s genuine and he cares about you, even if I find the dynamic extreme.”

A wave of profound relief washed over me, quickly replaced by a fresh, anxious thought.

“Connor,” I started, leaning forward, my voice hushed. “Did you, did you tell Zack anything about our relationship? About all the stuff I’ve done for you?”

Connor met my eyes squarely. “No way, man. I just told him you and I were super tight. I told him he should know you have other people looking out for you, and that we expected him to take care of you.”

“Okay, good.” I breathed, realizing I was practically sweating. “But… I’m thinking, if this thing with Zack is going to happen, and if he’s going to be my Master, I have to be completely honest with him about everything. Max called me an 'extreme giver'—but I’ve been acting that way for years. I think I need to tell Zack about what I’ve done for you.

Connor didn't hesitate. He just nodded. “Yeah. Tell him. The two of you should be completely honest with each other, especially if you’re going to give him this much control. What you did for me is part of who you are.”

“I won’t mention how we originally got into the situation, that stays between us–our secret,” I said, feeling even more protective of Connor than usual.

A quick, grateful look flashed across Connor’s face. “Thank you, Andrew. But realistically, Zack may be curious about how things started between us. If he asks, you shouldn’t lie to him on my account.”

He walked over to me and gave me a tight hug.

As soon as Connor left, I picked up my phone. I needed to talk to Zack right away. I texted him to ask if I could come over to talk. He replied immediately with a simple, "yeah, I’m home."

The tension in his living room was thick, but charged with anticipation, not conflict. Zack was sitting on the sofa, scrolling on his phone. He looked up the moment I walked in and immediately put his phone face down on the cushion beside him, giving me his full attention.

He smiled, a genuine, easy smile that instantly calmed my nerves.

I walked over and sat carefully on the edge of the ottoman, still feeling a slight tremble but encouraged by his warmth.

“I wanted to talk to you about Connor,” I started. “For a long time, I’ve been taking care of Connor. Not just friendly favors, but genuine service. I’ve helped him after sports –icing his shoulder after baseball practice, for example. I mentioned that when we last talked about Connor and me, but what I didn’t tell you was that during his last two years of middle school I was over at his place helping him virtually every Tuesday and Friday during football and baseball.”

Zack’s jaw dropped. “So you started serving Zack when he was in the Seventh Grade?” Zack asked, sounding incredulous. “How’d that come about?”

“To be honest, it was partly your fault, Zack,” I replied. “Remember when you forced me to kiss Patrick’s and Connor’s feet?”

“Vaguely,” Zack responded.

“Well, Connor was feeling overwhelmed at the start of Seventh Grade. So he blackmailed me after you forced me to kiss his feet. He said he’d keep what had happened quiet if I’d come over twice a week to clean his gear, massage his sore feet after practice, help him with school work, and do other stuff for him. I was scared about what he might say and felt trapped, so I did what he wanted. But after a couple of weeks, Connor apologized for blackmailing me, said he felt really bad about what he’d done, and asked for my forgiveness. It might have ended there, but once I had a choice, I realized I didn’t want it to end. About a week later I started helping him again but this time it was because I wanted to do it.”

“Wow!” Zack said. “It’s hard to believe that I’m partly responsible for you serving Connor.”

I chuckled softly then continued, “in addition to helping him with sports, I cleaned the bathroom he shared with Patrick and let him keep the money Patrick was paying him to handle that chore.

The bathroom cleaning went on until the McLeans hired a cleaning lady. When Connor was stressed or frustrated, he’d also sometimes call me over just to give him a foot massage while I knelt at his feet. He said it made him feel powerful and helped him relax.

Sometimes, he even used me to satisfy his sexual needs. Once with my hands just like I’ve done for you. That happened while he was sexting with Becky. Another time after Becky failed to deliver the blow job she’d promised, he used my mouth while watching porn. After that, he used my mouth a bunch of times when he was horny and I was available– mostly right after baseball practice. I would blow him as I knelt under his desk and he watched porn.”

“Did he shower beforehand?” Zack asked.

“No,” I replied, “he always showered after.” Anyway, that’s all been over for a while. He didn’t need help with football and baseball once he got to OLIC. And after he and Maddy got together, he never again asked for a blowjob. Really, the only thing I still do for Connor is the occasional foot massage when he’s frustrated or stressed.”

Zack looked at me, a thoughtful, almost satisfied look in his eyes. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and spoke softly.

“That is exactly what I hoped for from you Andrew–complete honesty about your relationship with Connor. I really appreciate it. It’s a huge sign of your devotion to me that you’re being completely honest with me about what you’ve done for Connor. It’s also super illuminating to know that even before I pushed you to serve me that you were finding a way to express your innate need to serve by subordinating yourself to Connor.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes conveying deep understanding. "The fact that your need to serve extended to blowing him while you were on your knees under his desk. That you were blowing him right after baseball practice while he was sweaty and watching porn. It’s a powerful confirmation of your submissive nature. You were demonstrating a willingness to dedicate yourself entirely to Connor’s needs and wants, no matter how selfish he chose to be. You and Connor clearly established a deeply submissive relationship that made you feel safe and complete. That, Andrew, is absolute proof that this is your true nature.”

Zack continued: “Here I thought I needed to test your submissiveness by telling you to strip before jerking me off! If I’d only known.” Zack started laughing, and I joined in, albeit in a more restrained way.

The relief I felt was overwhelming. I hadn’t known how much I feared his judgment until it failed to appear. When we finally stopped laughing, Zack’s face took on a firm, serious cast—the look of a Master establishing a line that could not be crossed.

“Now, with all that said, we need to establish a very clear boundary moving forward. If we commit to this life, the dynamic changes entirely. Connor helped you find yourself, but this dedication of yours is now a resource—a sacred one I own. It must be singularly at my disposal. If you become my slave, your service, your obedience, and your loyalty must be unreservedly mine. There can be no split attention, no shared authority. That is critical to our success. Do you understand that, Andrew? You must be focused only on me.”

I found the authority in his voice thrilling. I gave the only answer I could.

“I understand, Zack,” I whispered, the words carrying the full weight of my commitment. “You will be my only Master.”

The next day, I went back to Zack’s and told him I would commit to formally be his slave. I called Connor shortly afterward and told him.

"Wow. Okay,” Connor said. “That’s… that’s huge, Andrew. Are you sure about this? I mean, are you happy?"

"I am. Genuinely. I know it sounds insane, but when I told him, it was like this huge weight was gone. It felt right, Connor. It feels like the truth."

"Right. Okay. He swore he'd protect you. Are you feeling that? Is he treating you with respect?"

"He is. He was really firm about the exclusivity—about me being only his slave—but he was so validating about my honesty. I told him everything about my service to you.

"And what did he say about that?" asked Connor.

"He said it took courage. He said it was a beautiful truth, and absolute proof of my nature. He saw it for what it was—the start of me finding myself. He didn’t judge you or me. He just accepted it as part of my history."

"Good. As long as he knows what he’s getting, and he respects you."

"So… you’re okay with this?” I asked.

"Look, Andrew,” he said, “I’m not going to pretend I’m thrilled about how total this commitment you’re making is, but I want you to be happy. If this is what it takes to make you feel whole, then you have my full support. Just promise me one thing, okay?"

"What?” I replied.

"If he ever, ever crosses the line—if he hurts you or makes you feel small or unsafe—you call me. You walk out that door, and you call me, and I’ll be there. Deal?"

"Deal, Connor,” I said calmly. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you. You were the only one I could talk to about this other than Zack and Max."

"I've always got your back, man. Just… be careful... and, hey, I’ll text your Master congratulations."

He continued, "All right. I’ll talk to you later."

"Later, Connor," I replied.

The next day, I texted Connor to let him know that Zack, Patrick and I had chatted. Instead of texting me back, he called me to get the details. I told him that Patrick was willing to go along with it but was pretty skeptical. I also told Connor that whether he told Patrick about what I’d done for him was his decision to make. Neither Zack nor I would ever say a word about that without his permission.

I spent the rest of the summer getting ready to go to college and be Zack’s slave. The day before we all left for Harvaleton, I walked to Connor’s house. I didn't text ahead; I just showed up.

He answered the door in a tank top and gym shorts, looking strong and distracted. When he saw me, his expression softened instantly.

"Andrew! Come in. I was just about to text you," he said, stepping back.

I walked in and we went downstairs to the basement - the spot where so many of our interactions had taken place. Before we sat down, I gazed intently at the floor where I had knelt and the couch where he had relaxed. The exact place where I started serving Connor.

"I know your family is driving up to Harvaleton with mine and Zack’s to help us move in, but I just... I need to chat with you in private once more before we all head up there."

"I know, man. It’s crazy, right? You’re finally doing this.” He chuckled as he said, , “I hope you two can handle living with Patrick."

He hesitated, his smile fading. "Look, I know you’re doing this thing with Zack—and I've made my peace with it. But I need you to promise me something, face to face."

"What is it?" I asked, already knowing it would be about my safety.

"Don't ever forget that you're important, Andrew. That you're loyal and brilliant, and you deserve happiness. Don’t let him take your light and don't ever, ever forget that I love you."

The unexpected intensity of the declaration hit me hard. I felt a sudden, sharp pain in my chest, and my eyes immediately welled up. He’d called me his brother, but hearing the word 'love' spoken so plainly, knowing he meant it as a bedrock truth, broke something in me.

"I love you too, Connor," I choked out, a tear finally tracking a hot path down my cheek. "You were the first person with whom I could be my true self."

I had to pause, fighting to control my voice. "The service... all the things I did for you. . . They made me feel so needed, so useful. They made me so happy. So thank you, Connor, from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me."

Connor’s eyes were glistening now, too. “Are you kidding me, Andrew? You did so much for me! You helped me live up to my potential in so many ways. With your help, I became a better student and got into OLIC! And knowing that you were just a text away and available for advice or anything else I needed or wanted gave me an extra boost of confidence and made my life so much better. And you never asked for anything in return. Before I met you, Andrew, I didn’t realize someone could be so selfless. You’re an amazing person, Andrew!”

We both quickly got up and he closed the distance between us and pulled me into a fierce, protective embrace. It wasn't a casual bro hug; it was deep and clinging, the kind you give when you fear the next time you see someone, they will be fundamentally changed.

"You're my brother, Andrew. Always will be," he whispered fiercely into my ear, holding me tight. "You call me if you need anything. Anything at all. Even if I'm miles away, I'll be there."

I buried my face in his shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt as I finally let the tears fall, a mix of overwhelming relief, sadness, and gratitude. It wasn’t just a few tears–it was a full out, shoulder shaking cry. He held me tight in his strong arms as my head stayed on his broad shoulders. When we finally broke apart, we were both wiping our faces and laughing weakly at the sudden intensity of our emotions.

"Go get 'em, man," Connor said, giving my shoulder one last, hard squeeze. "Go be amazing."

"I will," I promised, taking a shaky breath. "And you do the same."

I left his house feeling emotionally drained but reaffirmed. The relationship with Zack was my future, but the bond with Connor—the years of service, trust, and brotherhood—was the foundation on which that future would be built.

End