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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Not For Hire. - 1. Chapter 1

Rather short story I wrote a while ago that morphed into a much longer, slightly different story.

“Once more I tell you, I am not for hire, Geldin.” Marcus wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve. Cradling his staff without relaxing his grip, he stared at the balding, fat merchant standing in the archway. Was he serious? “Now leave, so I may resume my weapons practice.”

“How can you refuse me when you have not heard my offer?” Geldin stepped into the courtyard behind the modest stone villa. Four well-armed guards followed close behind.

Marcus, poised for deception, whipped his black wooden staff around, pointing a platinum capped end at his ‘guests’. Geldin raised both hands and stepped back, bumping into his guards. All four soldiers grabbed for their weapons.

“Draw one weapon and I will blast the lot of you into cinders.” The fool had almost no wards to protect him.

“P… p… put those down.” The merchant's guards flicked their eye from their employer to Marcus before complying. “Wizard, I mean you no harm, I simply want, no I need your services.”

His steely gaze bore into the man. A muscle twitched in his face, as he unclenched his jaw. Not relaxing, he shook his head slowly. “I'll not fight him for you. Find another lackey stupid enough to accept that death wish.”

“You are scared to face Kenard!” Marcus's jaw tightened anew at Geldin's taunt.

Wanting nothing more than to smash the smug look from merchant’s face, Marcus slammed his staff onto the stone. Sparks flew from the contact as he barely contained his power. The five unwanted visitors flinched, Geldin gasping the loudest.

“I fear to face no one,” he growled. “Kenard is my friend, why would I fight him for you?”

“Because I am offering you enough gold for you to live like a prince, wizard.”

“My name is Marcus, not wizard.” Marcus spat, biting down hard on his anger lest he kill the fool. Geldin was a cousin of the Prince. A very distant cousin, but still. Without just cause, killing Geldin would earn him a one way trip to the gallows. "And you are a fool who must have no friends."

Geldin's eyes narrowed, but he avoided his sword. Too bad. "I bring you this opportunity, to never worry about money again, and you insult me. Think long and hard about what I offer, wizard."

"Gold," he sneered. "You value gold above all else, even friendship. I pity you, Geldin. My answer has not changed. I'll not fight Kenard for you at any price. Find another."

Waiting for his dismissal to sink in, he added, "Now leave my home.”

Sputtering, Geldin stared at his guards as if expecting something. When they finally moved, Marcus let the tip of his staff pulse pale blue, a reminder of who they faced.

Shaking, Geldin seemed to realize what almost happened. Pudgy, ring covered hands spread wide, keeping his men in place.

"Here's a thought." Marcus infused as much false mirth as he could manage. "Since whomever you hire is sure to lose, save your money and send one of your hired bullies to be sacrificed instead.”

Marcus stared pointedly at the guards, an evil smirk on his face.

Geldin glared at the wizard before marching out the door. Hesitantly his guards followed, looking back at Marcus as they left.

Relieved at their departure, Marcus took a moment to find his focus before he returned to his practice. Moving quickly, he used his staff to thrust, parry, and strike the air while he circled a waist high stump in the middle of the yard. Suddenly he spun on his left heel, swinging the thick wooden staff at a small stone on the top of the log. He missed by a wide margin. Cursing, he slammed the platinum tip onto the ground.

“Curses like that ought be reserved for the most vile,” a voice chided.

Marcus whirled about, staff raised in defense. A tall man with short black hair stood in the doorway, hand resting casually on his sword.

Lowering his weapon, Marcus smiled and extended his arm in greeting. “Kenard! You of all people know better than to sneak up on a wizard at practice.”

“When you cursed, I knew it was safe to speak.” Kenard took his hand off his sword and accepted Marcus’ arm. “Who were you cursing?”

“Geldin,” he spat, running a hand through his damp brown hair. “He wanted to hire me to kill you. Offered me enough gold to live like him.”

Kenard rolled his eyes, chuckling.

“Exactly.” Marcus finally felt calm enough to laugh. The man's very presence disrupted him to the core. He needed better control or his powers would harm an innocent bystander. “One would think he was better informed.”

“Indeed." Though Kenard looked at him, Marcus felt his focus was elsewhere. "Here I came here to warn you he is cursing your name and I find you've already talked to him. His guards all quit, leaving him without protection.”

Now Marcus really laughed. “His guards are smarter than him.”

“You do not appear concerned.” Kenard held out his hand, gesturing for Marcus’ staff. “Geldin is wealthy enough to be a dangerous enemy.”

The causal way he requested the wizard's most powerful weapon drew barely a hint of surprise. Kenard taught him to fight, saved his life more than once. There was nothing Marcus would refuse him.

“See that you don't forget he is dangerous. He's trying to hire someone to kill you, not me.” Marcus pressed the staff into his friend's hand. “As for why he is cursing me, I reminded him you are the best swordsman in the Seven Kingdoms. No one worth hiring will accept his offer."

Arching an eyebrow, Kenard peered at him.

"Um… I might have suggested he save his money and sacrifice his guards instead. They probably quit for fear he would do just that." Marcus shrugged. “Perhaps not the wisest thing to do.”

Kenard chuckled. “Perhaps not, but it is done.”

Gesturing for his friend to step back, the warrior quickly went through the same series of moves Marcus had been practicing. When he completed the maneuver, the tip of the staff swept cleanly over the top, sending the stone flying across the courtyard.

“Keep your focus on the object you wish to hit, not on the end of your weapon.” Kenard handed Marcus back his staff.

“Thanks for the lesson, Master Kenard.” Marcus scowled playfully. “But you need to stay focused on remaining alive. When I tried to read his mind, the image of a dead young man was foremost in his thoughts. He blames you for the death of his son.”

“It was a fair fight.” Kenard shrugged. Was he listening to Marcus? “The boy challenged me. I tried several times to decline, but he insisted.”

“He bought a magic sword from that charlatan, Nefren.” Marcus shook his head in disgust. Stupid wizard. His love of gold cost a foolish, pampered boy his life. “The sword was worthless.”

“When he beat his guards handily, he must have assumed it was the sword and not his guards letting him win." Kenard sat atop the stump, his sword clanking adjacent the wood. "Geldin ought blame the wizard for selling the boy a false weapon.”

Marcus waved a hand absently. “He already did. Nefren is dead. Nasty spell, whoever cast it. Caused his blood to boil inside his body. Eventually his flesh exploded from his bones. I heard he was still alive until the very end, trying to counter the spell.”

Shuddering at the image, he pushed any sympathy for the man aside. Nefren claimed to be more than he was, seeking to impress the wealthy and powerful. Fool should have known his lies would ricochet back on him eventually. Fixing his stare back on Kenard, he shook his head. “Geldin coming to me means he's sparing no expense. You need to be careful.”

“Anyone he hires will find me well protected.”

Crossing the few paces between them, Marcus gently placed a hand on his friend’s chest.

Kenard's eyes followed Marcus's hand. “What are you doing?”

“Checking your magical protections.” Spinning he walked silently toward a building at the back of the yard. The six-foot pole shrank to half its original size as he reached over his head and touched it to his back. When he released his hand, the staff remained in place, stuck to nothing but his tunic.

“Amazing.” Kenard followed his friend.

Marcus laughed. “You amuse too easily, my friend.” They paused before a stout looking oak door. “Stay here. It isn't safe inside for a non-wizard.”

“Still?”

Marcus shrugged self-consciously. “Cleaning my workroom is a low priority.”

He disappeared inside, emerging moments later with a small white amulet. “I've been working on this for you.”

“What is it?” Kenard examined the gift, turning it over in his hand.

“Protection.” Marcus pulled the door shut. “Your wards are inadequate, this is much stronger.”

“What possessed you to do such a thing?” Kenard held the pendant by its long platinum chain.

His focus never left the amulet. “Stay around me enough, it is foreseeable you might get caught in a fight between me and another wizard. I want to be sure you had the proper wards.”

“A valuable gift."

Ignoring the comment, he pointed to Kenard's chest. “Wear it inside your tunic, next to your skin.”

He slid the charm over his head, adjusting it inside his shirt. “It feels warm.”

Marcus's barely heard the words as he scanned the wards, flaring to life. “That tells you it is working. I am, however, concerned even it will not be sufficient should Geldin find a powerful wizard to face you.”

“You worry over-much, Marcus.” Kenard smiled confidently.

Marcus blinked twice, breaking his trance. “No, on this issue, I do not. Geldin was too insistent I accept his money.”

Marcus flicked his wrist at the open door to the practice yard. Swinging fast, it shut with loud a bang.

“Why did you do that?”

“I have an idea." Marcus's lips pulled tight and his brow wrinkled. "Though I'm sure you will not care to hear it.”

“Perhaps I won’t, but tell me all the same.”

**

The sun was just rising when Kenard left his home. Scanning the square for signs of Geldin’s agents, four people caught his eye.

To his left a short stocky male pretended to be admiring silk cloth. Kenard stifled a laugh. Armed as he was, the man looked ridiculous fingering the fabric.

Across the square, a tall armored woman walked about as if she were eyeing foods offered for sale. Her lack of interaction with the vendors spoke of her disinterest in their goods.

At the herbalist’s cart to his right, a man with graying hair holding a wizard’s staff spoke to a younger man, probably his apprentice. The pair spent more time looking at Kenard’s house than the herbs offered for sale.

Positioned as they were, the four anticipated his route would take him east, toward Marcus’ villa. Rather than oblige them, he went north instead. Focusing on the pendant under his shirt, he silently relayed his situation.

His choice of routes set his adversaries scurrying to compensate. Good. Whatever they intended, they needed a new plan. Ducking down a side street, he made for the less populated, more open commercial district.

In the shadow of an abandoned, crumbling building, he decided to make a stand. Turning to face his opponents, he was greeted by two yellow balls of energy racing toward his head. Dodging the clumsy attack, he surged forward toward his startled opponents.

Closest to him, the two warriors slowed their approach, positioning themselves to meet Kenard. Reaching over his shoulder as he ran, he retrieved Marcus’ staff from his back. As hoped, his foes stopped when the staff expanded.

A wicked smile stretched across his face. “You didn’t think Marcus would leave me unprepared did you?”

Stopping several yards in front of the armored pair, he slammed the metal end down onto a stone, sending sparks flying into the air. Blue energy coalesced around the flickering light, forming two large hounds. Snarling, the pair of magical creatures ran toward the startled wizards.

Kenard used the distraction to assess his foes. The stocky man carried a short heavy blade best suited to bludgeoning an opponent. In contrast, the female moved lightly, handling her weapons as if she were born with them. She was the more dangerous of the two.

Before the pair could coordinate an attack, he feigned a blow at the man’s head. When his opponent raised his sword, Kenard struck at the man’s legs. Prone, the dazed man avoided a killing strike only because the other fighter closed on Kenard from the right. Spinning quickly, he swatted her sword in mid strike. She danced back to avoid his counter, so Kenard used the full length of the staff to push her further away.

Not wasting the distance he created, Kenard returned his attention to the man slowly regaining his feet. He needed a quick kill or he'd soon be overwhelmed. Using the same moves as before, he had the dazed man defending his legs. This time he aimed higher, landing a solid blow on the man’s sword arm.

The heavy sword fell from the man’s damaged arm, striking the ground with a loud clang. Kenard watched the panicked warrior attempt to pick up his sword with his left hand even as he tried to back away.

Footsteps behind him compelled him to let the injured man retreat without further attack. Grasping the heavy staff near the end with both hands, he swept to his left and stepped away. The woman parried the attack, but staggered back from the impact.

A green ball of energy whizzed overhead, preventing him from continuing the fight. He spied the snarling blue hound closest to the older mage trapped in a sphere of yellow energy. The younger man, his brown eyes wide with fear, struggled with the other snapping beast. His torn black trousers suggested his defensive efforts were not entirely effective.

The older wizard pointed his staff at the second beast, discharging a stream of energy at the blue dog. When it failed to disrupt the creature’s attack, Kenard heard the man curse before shouting instructions to his student.

Knowing he had but seconds to act, Kenard twisted the staff, separating it into two pieces. Driving both metal ends onto the dusty ground, he released the second spell woven into the weapon. A tempest, tiny at first, appeared and grew quickly as the funnel made for the elder wizard.

The whirlwind’s appearance forced the female fighter to back away, leaving Kenard a moment’s respite. Clutching the white pendant, he sent a second, more urgent request for help. He used the vortex distracting the wizard to renew his attack on the woman. Keeping her between himself and the wizards, he used both halves to rain blows on her.

His efforts drove the woman back, but he could not land a killing blow. Pressing his advantage, his wards alerted him that magic was being worked against him. Without thinking, he jumped back an instant before three green balls of wizard’s fire would have struck him. The passing attack startled the woman, forcing her to stumble away from Kenard.

The dogs were gone, as was the mini-tornado. Injuries to the apprentice spoke to the cost dispatching them exacted. Leaning on his staff, the young man was panting and glassy-eyed, bleeding from several wounds to his chest and left arm.

Jaw tight, the older wizard locked eyes on him. Feeling the wizard’s hatred, Kenard knew the female would no longer serve as a shield from further attack. Perhaps sensing her plight, the woman made no move to engage him.

A small grunt escaped the master wizard’s lips as he launched a new wave of fire balls. Using the metal ends of the staff, Kenard swatted the spheres away, trying to aim them at his enemies. Though he scored no direct hits, his efforts forced the two warriors back.

Kenard caught the last two orbs on the metal tips. He held them a moment before flinging them both at the dazed novice. Screaming, the master wizard attempted to stop the attack, but was too slow. In rapid succession, the balls of green wizard's fire exploded against the defenseless man, knocking him backward a dozen paces. The older man ran to his side, ignoring the fight still in progress.

When the wizard ceased his attack, the woman charged. Stupid! Like a novice, he watched his handy work instead of focusing on the more immediate threat. Reflexes were all that allowed him to parried - barely - the sword aimed at his right side. The woman’s momentum brought her close enough for him to kick hard at her chest. Twisting at the last moment, she avoided the full brunt of his blow. Staggering backward, she did not appear hurt. She was good, maybe too good given the others he had to fight.

Injured and partially forgotten, the other soldier suddenly appeared, swinging his sword wildly with his left hand. Unprepared for this attack, he immediately realized the danger. Out of position, he left his flank vulnerable. Sweeping one half of his staff at the sword coming toward him, he brought the other half down to smash the man in the head. His efforts only partially deflected the blow as the now-dead man’s blade sliced into the fleshy part of his thigh.

“You are not invincible after all.” The woman taunted. “I expected better from the legendary Kenard; greatest swordsman in the Seven Kingdoms. Bah.”

“Then see how you fare against the real me,” a new voice challenged.

Standing behind her, a second Kenard, sword drawn, darted forward before the woman could recover.

Shimmering, the first Kenard’s appearance shifted until Marcus stood in Kenard’s place, examining his leg. The wound was bloody, but shallow. He'd live. A quick spell to stop the bleeding was all he would risk. He'd deal with it fully after the battle ended.

Ignoring panicked grunts from the woman that slipped between the ring of steel on steel, Marcus limped toward the remaining wizard.

“You killed him!” The wizard screamed when Marcus approached. Did he forget their fight just to tend to his lifeless apprentice? What was the boy to him? Son? Lover? “He was just a boy.”

“A boy you were training to be an assassin,” Marcus said flatly. Clapping the metal tips of his staff together, he sent a rippling tide of blue energy toward the grieving man. Marcus’ shimmering wave of energy engulfed the wizard, sweeping aside the staff raised in defense.

Reaching down, Marcus grabbed the shaken man by his tunic. Slowly, he lowered his staff toward the man’s forehead. “Tell me where to find Geldin”

Footsteps behind him didn't break his focus. He knew the outcome of that fight. Searching the beaten man's jumbled thoughts, he gleaned the image he needed.

"You choose poorly, now join your apprentice." The man's eyes went wide, but he didn't have to wait long for his fate. Marcus pressed his hand to the man's chest and power surged forward, burning a hole through his heart.

Dropping the lifeless body, he found Kenard a pace behind him, blood dripping from his sword. His eyes flashed intense anger, before they softened. Kenard let the sword fall, grabbing Marcus by his arms.

“Your 'plan' nearly cost you your life.” Kenard's voice was a mix of relief and anger. "I told you it was foolish."

Before Marcus could answer, he felt Kenard kiss him with an urgency he rarely experienced. Relaxing into the embrace, he dropped his staff, bringing his hands to frame his lover's face.

“Almost my love, but not quite,” Marcus managed to get out before they kissed again.

**

Geldin sat in the dim common room of a less than reputable inn. The expression on his corpulent face was as sour as the beer his newly hired guards drank. Slivers of light peeked through shutters that ought be open on the sunny day. Staring at them from the kitchen, Marcus slowly eased the squeaky doors open.

The merchant’s head jerked toward the source. Recognition flashed in his eyes as he stared in terror at his guards.

“Our business is with Geldin. If you four value your lives, I suggest you leave.” The cold edge to Marcus's voice was augmented by the appearance of Kenard’s grim face over his shoulder. The blue aura from Marcus’s staff, revealed Kenard’s bloody sword.

Moving as one, the guards bolted for the front door. Geldin, his fear visible in the pale blue light, tried to rise from his chair only to be stopped by the tip of Kenard’s sword.

Marcus stifled his attempts to scream with a word of power. “There is no one to help you, Geldin.” He told the petrified man. "Now here are the terms of my offer."

**

Each carrying a large sack of coins, Marcus and Kenard left the seedy inn smiling broadly.

“He will only hire others to come after us,” Kenard mused.

“No he won’t.” Marcus smiled, pleased at his work. “I placed a geas on him. If he even thinks of exacting revenge, he will suffer intense pain.”

A scream of total agony pierced the calm morning. Marcus gave his partner a 'there-you-go' look, and Kenard laughed.

“How shall we spend our new riches, Prince Marcus?”

“I hear Lourdria is peaceful and the weather pleasant,” Marcus answered hefting his sack of coins. “A fit place for a pair of princes to live, I think.”

“I've never lived as a prince before.” Kenard grinned.

Marcus laughed. “Me neither.”

Another shriek called to them from behind, renewing their smiles as they walked home.

Copyright © 2011 Andrew Q Gordon; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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  • Site Administrator

You do so well at weaving fantasy worlds. Without having to pedantically list every detail and magical 'rule' you give us a quick clue of the character's abilities, personalities, and interactions. I can 'see' the more pastoral, medieval setting as I read in vivid detail.

 

I loved the way you had the fight between the warrior and magic assassins and Marcus and Kenard occur. I assumed that Kenard was really himself because of the amulet even while wondering how he managed to manipulate the magic as it never occured to me that Marcus would have created dual amulets. That was a great twist.

 

The ending was great. Marcus isn't nearly as nice as he seems with that geas, which he just had to know would cause Geldin a whole lot of pain because honestly that man's a giant ass who will want to think of getting back at them often. The fact that they fleeced him of his money just to let him live made me chuckle since they couldn't really kill him anyway. Goes to show rich and connected really isn't smart!!

 

There is one visual that keeps bothering me though. In the beginning you mention that Marcus points his black wood staff with 'the' platinum capped end at the guards. Then later, during the fight with the wizards, he has the staff (again mentioning 'the' metal end when he first brings it out) yet later he twists the staff into 2 pieces, both ends now have metal on them. It's a simple enough fix to just the 'the' in those places to 'a' to imply that both ends have the caps which would then leave both pieces with one when the staff is in two pieces. I just kept trying to picture that and couldn't.

 

All in all, great short story. I'd love to see what else you could do with these characters and this world.

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This was a great read Andy and I would definitely be interested in reading more about these characters. Up until the actual Kenard showed up, I didn't realize that it was actually Marcus fighting, though, like Cia, I wondered how he was doing the magic. That was a great twist. I had just figured that Kenard was calling Marcus, not the other way around. Maybe it was just me, but I hadn't realized until that kiss that Kenard and Marcus were a couple... So hopefully that's how it was meant and I wasn't just being dense! Great job hon!

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On 06/09/2011 01:44 PM, sojourn said:
Expanding this is a great idea. It has the makings of a saga. I would read it.
It is definitely a saga in the making. I have been editing/re-writing for a bit but you'd be amazed at how little I knew when I started the long story - things like perspective, emotion, conflict - all I cared about before was telling the story. it's a bit of a slog. This was short so it was MUCH easier to rework. Soon hopefully. Thanks for the review. Andy
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On 06/09/2011 01:55 PM, Cia said:
You do so well at weaving fantasy worlds. Without having to pedantically list every detail and magical 'rule' you give us a quick clue of the character's abilities, personalities, and interactions. I can 'see' the more pastoral, medieval setting as I read in vivid detail.

 

I loved the way you had the fight between the warrior and magic assassins and Marcus and Kenard occur. I assumed that Kenard was really himself because of the amulet even while wondering how he managed to manipulate the magic as it never occured to me that Marcus would have created dual amulets. That was a great twist.

 

The ending was great. Marcus isn't nearly as nice as he seems with that geas, which he just had to know would cause Geldin a whole lot of pain because honestly that man's a giant ass who will want to think of getting back at them often. The fact that they fleeced him of his money just to let him live made me chuckle since they couldn't really kill him anyway. Goes to show rich and connected really isn't smart!!

 

There is one visual that keeps bothering me though. In the beginning you mention that Marcus points his black wood staff with 'the' platinum capped end at the guards. Then later, during the fight with the wizards, he has the staff (again mentioning 'the' metal end when he first brings it out) yet later he twists the staff into 2 pieces, both ends now have metal on them. It's a simple enough fix to just the 'the' in those places to 'a' to imply that both ends have the caps which would then leave both pieces with one when the staff is in two pieces. I just kept trying to picture that and couldn't.

 

All in all, great short story. I'd love to see what else you could do with these characters and this world.

I tried with the staff to say at one point Kenard released the second of the spells woven into the staff - the first one he released by slamming one end onto the ground, the second by using both ends - that was as close to 'lying' as I wanted to get, to give the idea that it was something Marcus put into the staff for Kenard to use. I avoided 'Kenard' using other types of magic to avoid giving away that it was really Marcus. I might just go back and make that minor tweak. Never thought about how 'the' denoted only one, but it makes total sense. -- Thanks for the review Cia.
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On 06/09/2011 05:26 PM, Renee Stevens said:
This was a great read Andy and I would definitely be interested in reading more about these characters. Up until the actual Kenard showed up, I didn't realize that it was actually Marcus fighting, though, like Cia, I wondered how he was doing the magic. That was a great twist. I had just figured that Kenard was calling Marcus, not the other way around. Maybe it was just me, but I hadn't realized until that kiss that Kenard and Marcus were a couple... So hopefully that's how it was meant and I wasn't just being dense! Great job hon!
You didn't miss anything Renee, the 'twists' were planned in this. I wanted everyone to think Kenard was himself, though I worried the lack of sword would be a give away. The kiss at the end was designed to be something a shock - again, I was hoping I didn't give too much away in the beginning but wanted to hint at their relationship - 'you of all people' 'hang around me enough' So no you read it exactly how I wanted it, which means you were spot on not, dense. :) -- Thanks Andy
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On 06/09/2011 08:20 PM, Simonjames30 said:
This was a really good start, i would love to read the longer story if it comes off :)
Thanks Simon - I am working on the longer longer story, it is not really a continuation or anything of this one, more like these two characters gave me the idea for the longer story that borrows a few of the details from this but doesn't follow Marcus and Kenard, though again, I have borrow some names, details etc. That's because there needed to be a real conflict for a longer story and I had to tweak quite a few details to get that to work - or to where I thought/think it works, readers will have to decide if it does. Thanks for the review, I'll let you know when the other comes out. I think I'm about 1/4 through revising the other. So going as it was started so long ago. --- Andy
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Oooh I like it. Deliciously dark. I loved loved loved the way it ended. Serves Geldin right. I would love to see this expanded

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On 06/10/2011 12:06 AM, Nephylim said:
Oooh I like it. Deliciously dark. I loved loved loved the way it ended. Serves Geldin right. I would love to see this expanded
Thanks Nephy, the 'expanded' version isn't entirely connected but it should be easy to see the relation to the characters once you see it. yes, folks WILL see it, just a matter of when, lolthanks for reading :)
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An extremely entertaning read, Andy! :worship::worship:

 

I would have preferred that the young apprentice had lived and became an apprentice to Marcus. But that's just me being sucky. :lol:

 

I had a little chuckle on first learning Kenard's name. As you may know, "canard" is the French word for duck. I won't bother you with the images that flowed from that. 0:)

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On 06/10/2011 06:22 AM, Conner said:
An extremely entertaning read, Andy! :worship::worship:

 

I would have preferred that the young apprentice had lived and became an apprentice to Marcus. But that's just me being sucky. :lol:

 

I had a little chuckle on first learning Kenard's name. As you may know, "canard" is the French word for duck. I won't bother you with the images that flowed from that. 0:)

Duck?? :blink: um yeah monsieur Kenard who has the brain of a duck you know - That was a paraphrase from Monty Python's and The Holy Grail. Stealing the master wizard's apprentice might have been a good thing had he the time - but that might be for another story :PThanks for the review :)
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Cia beat me to what I was gonna say. I don't read much scifi/fantasy online (though that used to be my primary bread-and-butter) b/c I find many authors get bogged down in trying to slam me over the head with their worlds . . . by "telling" for paragraphs on end. I much prefer to be dropped into the middle of the action, as you did w/ this story. :2thumbs:

 

Say, you're pretty good at fight scenes. :)

 

Is the longer story gonna include this, or spring from it?

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On 06/10/2011 11:50 AM, Sara Alva said:
Cia beat me to what I was gonna say. I don't read much scifi/fantasy online (though that used to be my primary bread-and-butter) b/c I find many authors get bogged down in trying to slam me over the head with their worlds . . . by "telling" for paragraphs on end. I much prefer to be dropped into the middle of the action, as you did w/ this story. :2thumbs:

 

Say, you're pretty good at fight scenes. :)

 

Is the longer story gonna include this, or spring from it?

The longer story will not include this, the characters will be different. The idea behind the MC of the longer story grew from these two. I have a lot of fight scene left in me - once i get the new stuff edited, reworked and re-written :P Thanks for the review Sara :)
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So much killing :-O

 

Not really my favourite genre, but I enjoyed this piece. The first part of the story was like a start of a longer one, but I was amazed how you wrapped it up into a short story with a great idea behind it. I was lost with the fire balls and the battle, it happens to me if I'm reading something that needs investment from me and a shorty rarely manage to make me study them with a scrutinizing eye.

 

:) Not bad at all.

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On 06/11/2011 12:34 AM, Marzipan said:
So much killing :-O

 

Not really my favourite genre, but I enjoyed this piece. The first part of the story was like a start of a longer one, but I was amazed how you wrapped it up into a short story with a great idea behind it. I was lost with the fire balls and the battle, it happens to me if I'm reading something that needs investment from me and a shorty rarely manage to make me study them with a scrutinizing eye.

 

:) Not bad at all.

Thanks Maria - sorry for all the killing, just sorta happened :/ As for the longer story, well if you saw the comments below, that story owes its beginning to this. This is not a part of or the back ground for that, just this one gave me the idea for the longer one. That one might be WAY too uninteresting for you I fear as there will be a war and the like in that one. But thanks for reading this one :) Andy
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I live in a sci fi world most of the time so thought this was great. I did figure out who was doing the fighting but never seen the couple till the kiss. Wow that was something from left field but made perfect sense too. Loved the way they leave Geldin alive. By doing so they keep the Prince off their back but still get to walk away with all his money.

 

Glad to hear you have another whole series in the works. Just finish one so I don't get lost in both worlds at the same time. lol.

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On 06/11/2011 02:05 PM, comicfan said:
I live in a sci fi world most of the time so thought this was great. I did figure out who was doing the fighting but never seen the couple till the kiss. Wow that was something from left field but made perfect sense too. Loved the way they leave Geldin alive. By doing so they keep the Prince off their back but still get to walk away with all his money.

 

Glad to hear you have another whole series in the works. Just finish one so I don't get lost in both worlds at the same time. lol.

Guess it's true what they say about fooling some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time :D -- Purpose will get finished first - I hope - but IF not, just hold off before you start to read the new one, problem solved :P -- Thanks for reading and for the comments. -- Andy
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Trying to hire someone to kill their lover. How stupid is that? Geldin was so worried about causing harm to Kenard that he did not even know right was right under his nose.

This was a great story. Enjoyed it very much :2thumbs:

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On 02/21/2013 06:13 AM, joann414 said:
Trying to hire someone to kill their lover. How stupid is that? Geldin was so worried about causing harm to Kenard that he did not even know right was right under his nose.

This was a great story. Enjoyed it very much :2thumbs:

I wrote this so long ago, I forget and have to go back and re-read. Thanks for reading. I think Marcus and Kenard were a precursor of Farrell and Miceral, but I won't swear to it. :P
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