Noah's Quest - 10. The Safe Space

I looked around the waiting room, my mind frantically mapping out an escape route.

Chase took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered.

Lately, my nightmares had picked up in violent intensity, and I was avoiding sleep like the plague. Chase had mentioned he knew someone who might be able to help, but he’d needed to clear it first.

“Noah Jacobs?” a nurse called from the doorway.

I stood up, gripping my intake paperwork, and tried to subtly drag Chase along with me.

“Go on back,” Chase said firmly but gently. “If I’m needed, I’ll come in. But go alone first.”

I nodded reluctantly. The nurse asked a few standard questions, reviewed my forms, and took my weight and blood pressure, typing the notes into her computer. She led me down a quiet hallway to a door and knocked twice.

“Dr. Thomas is one of the best,” she whispered, patting my arm before stepping away.

The door swung open to reveal a man around Chase’s age who smiled warmly at me. “Noah, it’s so good to meet you,” he said, ushering me inside.

I took in the room, noticing a few military awards and framed articles on the wall, but two pictures on his desk caught my eye. One was a military group photo I recognized instantly because Chase had an identical copy at home. The other was a portrait of the doctor getting married.

“Have a seat,” Dr. Thomas said, gesturing to a pair of wingback chairs. I sat down, surprised by how incredibly comfortable it was.

Dr. Thomas sat opposite me and leafed through my chart. “So, tell me about Noah.”

“That is a remarkably loaded question to ask right off the bat,” I said, trying to break the ice.

He chuckled. “Understandable. But I’d like to hear about you and why you’re here. No need for the abridged version. I booked a few hours for us today.”

I gave him a puzzled look. A few hours?

“Noah, I served with Chase,” Dr. Thomas explained, setting the folder down. “He called me last week about your situation, looking for a recommendation for a therapist. I gave him several names, but it turned out almost all of them run in the same professional circles as your Uncle Matt. After talking it over with my husband, I agreed to take you on myself. What happens in this room stays in this room.”

“Okay,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Chase is incredibly worried about you,” he said gently. “I want you to have another safe space where you can talk about absolutely anything, completely free of judgment.”

I sat there in silence for a few minutes, weighing my options, and decided I had nothing left to lose.

Over the next hour, I poured my heart out. I told the doctor about my mother, about not knowing my father, about Shiloh, about Chase, and finally, about the horrific encounter in the trailer with Jack. Dr. Thomas took careful notes, asking a few quiet, clarifying questions. By the time I finished, he was sitting back with a stunned expression.

“Noah, first of all, for someone your age, you have been through a hell of a lot more than most,” Dr. Thomas said, his tone entirely serious. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it—this is going to be a grueling process, and it might take a while before you feel like these sessions are actually working. I’m going to look into Jack’s background to see how best to guide you through this. It’s a damn shame he hasn’t been found yet.”

I stared at my lap, the weight of the silence heavy in the room.

“What he attempted to do to you was not your fault, Noah,” he continued firmly. “You cannot control other people’s predatory actions. I know you’re feeling responsible. I know you're thinking, maybe I shouldn't have dressed like that, maybe I shouldn't have bought those oversized clothes. That is text-book victim-blaming.”

I could sense a flash of deep, underlying anger radiating from the doctor, but he quickly checked his emotions and took a breath. He noticed me watching him intently and sighed.

“I didn’t think this would come up so fast, Noah, but I need to be entirely honest with you,” he said. “I had a best friend in high school named Gabriel. He was out, proud, and didn’t take shit from anyone.” He paused, wiping a sudden tear from the corner of his eye. “Our senior year, he started dating a closeted guy who played sports. Gabe would never tell me who it was, and I kept warning him to be careful because those situations can end badly. Two days after graduation, Gabe and this guy—who turned out to be the star lacrosse player—were caught together by some teammates. The athlete immediately blamed Gabe, claiming Gabe had forced himself on him while he was drunk. Gabe was brutally beaten by a group of lacrosse and football players. They found him the next morning... and he was gone.”

My chest tightened as I listened.

“What angered me the most was how the community blamed Gabe for his own death, saying he deserved it for trying to ride the coattails of a star athlete,” Dr. Thomas said, his jaw tightening. “I did something I’m not proud of. I tracked down the guys responsible and literally broke a few of their legs, ending their college sports careers before they could even start.”

The silence in the room grew thick. I didn't even know what to say.

“Now, Noah, I am absolutely not telling you to go out and become a vigilante,” he added, letting out a small, self-deprecating chuckle. “But I want you to grow from what happened, and hold onto the hope that the son of a bitch is found so he can rot in a jail cell.”

I leaned back in the chair. “People look at me, they see my body, and they don’t look any deeper than that. I’m not shallow like everyone thinks I am. That’s why my connection with Chase is so important—the conversation just flows completely smoothly.”

“Chase is a great person, but he carries his own heavy baggage too,” Dr. Thomas said. “I’m glad you’re not just with him for his physical appearance. He is an intensely loyal and faithful man.” He glanced at the clock. “Our time for today is up. While I’d love to sit and unpack this further, we have to end here.”

“Thanks, Doc,” I said, standing up.

“Noah, we have another appointment in two days, and I have something I’d like you to try for it.” He looked at me expectantly, and I nodded. “I want you to wear your normal, fitted clothes to our next session.”

I swallowed hard, the anxiety flaring up, but I managed a nod.

“It will be just us,” he reassured me. “You can bring a change of clothes in a bag if you need to, okay?”

“I can do that.”

I walked back out into the waiting room and immediately spotted Chase deeply engrossed in a conversation with a very handsome man. A sharp spike of jealousy shot through me, but it evaporated the second I realized the man was the exact same guy from Dr. Thomas’s wedding photo.

“Noah, this is Kellan Thomas. Kell, this is Noah,” Chase said with a bright smile.

“Nice to meet you, Noah,” Kellan said, offering a warm smile.

“Same,” I mumbled.

“Talking to the old ball and chain can wear anyone out,” Kellan joked, gesturing toward the doctor's office with a laugh. “Chase, it was great seeing you. We definitely need to catch up soon.”

As we walked out of the building, Chase wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me securely against his side and kissing the top of my head. “That’s Ethan’s husband.”

“I figured. I saw their wedding picture on the desk.”

“Since your session ran longer than a standard appointment, it bumped right up against Ethan’s lunch hour,” Chase explained. “Kell said they had plans to meet up with his sister, which is why he was dropping by.”

We walked a little further before I looked up at him. “Aren’t you going to ask me how the session went?”

Chase stopped walking. We found a stone bench out in front of the building and sat down. “Noah, what you and Ethan talk about is strictly between the two of you. If you want to talk to me about it, sure, I’m all ears. But please don’t ever feel obligated to tell me anything.”

“He told me about Gabe.”

“I see,” Chase said quietly, looking out at the parking lot. “Ethan had his fair share of ghosts when we first met at boot camp. He’s overcome them in so many ways, and that’s exactly why I knew he was the best person to help you.”

I bit my lip, a sudden thought popping into my head. “Did you two ever... do anything?”

Chase burst out laughing. “I knew this question was coming, but the answer is a hard no. Ethan is like a brother to me, Noah. And I don't sleep with my brothers.”

“Only with the relatives of your in-laws,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at him.

He smiled, visibly relieved. “At least you’re in a semi-good mood. You had me worried.”

“About Ethan?”

“About everything. You don’t know how many practices I called before this. Everyone either knew your Uncle Matt or wanted to consult with him first because they felt obligated to make official reports. Ethan doesn’t care that Matt is your uncle, and he isn’t afraid of your grandmother.” Chase laughed.

I had to admit, that last part made me smile too.

We drove home, and the tension eased entirely when I saw Grandma’s car parked near the garage. We pulled the Mustang into its space and entered the house through the kitchen. Little B was sitting at the island, and his face lit up with a massive smile the second he saw me.

“Noah!” he shouted, launching himself off the stool and flying into my arms within seconds.

“Hey, Little B,” I laughed, hugging him tightly. He honestly gives the absolute best hugs, second only to Chase.

Grandma walked into the kitchen with a warm smile. “Hello, boys.”

“Hi, Grandma,” I said, stepping over to give her a hug.

“You had your session today?” she asked softly.

“Yes. It went really well.”

“That’s wonderful to hear, honey. I’m going to cook dinner here tonight, okay?”

“That sounds great. I think I’m going to go up and take a quick nap.”

I made my way down the hall and unlocked the door to the master bedroom. But when I stepped inside, I froze.

Sitting right in the center of the neatly made bed was a Build-a-Bear dressed in a miniature Marine uniform. Wrapped around its furry neck was a thick gold chain, and hanging from the chain was a ring.