Black Fox: The Awakening - 9. Chapter 9 - Goodbye

The world was coming back to me gradually. The sounds emerged from the void first, before the rest of the brain had a chance to wake up. I recognized the sound of the car engine and tires rolling on the gravel.

Then came the pain. My head was splitting. I was laying down but didn't know where. I opened my eyes, but saw only blackness. Did I go blind from the hit?

I wanted to feel around myself with my hands but I realised my wrists were tied behind my back. Doesn't matter. I connected the dots very quickly. It was Dad’s van.

I tried to scream for help, but only then did I realise I had been gagged with some rag.

I barely managed to gather my thoughts when the van pulled over. I heard the driver's door open and close, then steps. Then the cargo door opened and the dim light entered my prison cell. It was dark but I could still recognize Dad's shape with no mistake.

I looked at him with fear. I couldn't see his face and desperately tried to understand his intentions. He stared down at me for almost a full minute without a word as I was squirming, trying to scream through the piece of cloth that was gagging me.

"A faggot and a monster. That's what you are."

His voice was raspy and could be mistaken for tired. But at that moment, I knew more than anything that he loathed me more than everything. I was so terrified that my heart wanted to shoot out of my body. Somehow, he knew my secret and he was about to put me down.

He entered the van and I tried to back away but there was no escape. He grabbed me by the arm and threw me out on the ground. My aching head almost exploded when it hit the hard-pacled dirt. When I managed to open my eyes, I immediately recognized the place. It was almost exactly where we parked with Ryan and his sisters the other day. I had no idea what was going on and I could barely keep it together.

With my hands tied, I didn’t think I'd be able to get up so I didn't even try. When Dad jumped out of the van and his boot landed right next to my ear, I shuddered. Then he grabbed me by the collar and forced me to sit against the car frame.

He squatted down to be at my eye level and I finally saw his face. It was calm in the most horrifying way. No, it wasn't calm. It was cold. Emotionless. Dad never was one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but now he seemed dead inside.

He pulled the piece of rag that was stuck in my mouth and I coughed, then wept.

"If you scream, I will smash your head," he said.

"Dad, please," I managed through the tears.

"You're not my son. Do you know who you are?"

I sniffed and tried to keep my head up but I was scared to death and didn't know what he wanted from me.

"Alex… I'm Alex, Dad."

"No, you're not Alex. You don't deserve a human name. I told you what you are. Repeat to me."

"A… a faggot."

"That's right." He suddenly grabbed my bowtie I wore for Owen. With a snap, he tore it away and threw it on the ground. “You're a bloody, disgusting faggot. And what else are you?"

"A… a… a monster," I managed and cried silently, pressing my lips so hard together I was sure they were getting white.

"That's right. You're a faggot and a monster. And before I end you, how about you do something useful for once."

He stood up and I closed my eyes, waiting for a blow. But it didn't come. I heard Dad turn around and open the car door at the front.

I opened my eyes and looked around in panic, trying to find a way out but there was none. Tied as I was, I would never outrun him even if he gave me a two-minute head start.

Then I remembered. The whistle! I was shaking like jelly, but I tilted my head down and tried to grab the silver chain with my teeth. I was almost there and it seemed like I was lacking half an inch. I tried to nudge and reposition it with my neck, which seemed to make it worse.

From sitting, I bent to the side and collapsed on the ground. Bingo. The chain partially flipped out from beneath the collar and I managed to grab it with my teeth. I realized my task was far from over, but I managed to pull the chain and then move my teeth an inch closer to the whistle. I could almost see it beneath my collar.

But then I felt a heavy boot stomp on my chest, forcing the air out of my lungs.

Dad knelt down, not caring to take away the boot from my torso. I felt like my ribs were about to snap.

"Need a helping hand?" He said and pulled out the silver whistle. He held it right in front of my eyes and for the first time, his cold eyes glimmered with satisfaction.

"You were looking for this?" He whispered with an evil smile. Then he rotated it in his fingers and placed it in my shivering mouth. "Go ahead. Blow it."

I heard my teeth chattering against the metal. I was frantically breathing through my nose. Just a few seconds earlier I wanted to blow it more than life. Why does he want me to do it? How much does he know? How the hell does he know anything?

Dad's face got dead serious again. "I said, blow it. Now."

I sobbed and closed my eyes, preparing myself to die a painful death. But I wasn't going to do it.

"Alright then," he said.

He pulled the whistle out of my mouth and put it into his. The last thing I saw was his pumped cheeks.

Then it was like somebody jabbed my ears with two long needles and pierced right through my skull and into my brain. I opened my mouth wide and let out a silent scream.

When I opened my eyes, Dad was laying on the ground a few yards away, clumsily trying to get up. My ears were ringing and I could barely hear his words.

"This… fucking… little… piece of…" he muttered. He finally stood up and rubbed his ears. I opened my eyes in terror and watched my Dad take his watch off his wrist and shove it into his pocket. Then, he unbuttoned his shirt, took it off and threw it on the ground. Then he took off his shoes.

While unfastening his belt, he stopped for a second to look me in the eyes.

"What are you staring at, faggot?"

I couldn't say a word. I heard my teeth rattle as tremors went through my body. The high-pitched ringing in my ears caused by the whistle was unbearable. I was either going to faint or have a heart attack. I just wanted him to end this. No one ever will call me a faggot when I'm dead. No one will call me a monster.

Dad picked the rag he took out of my mouth before and stuck it back in forcefully. It was now covered in dirt and I coughed, almost choking to death. He looked down at me one more time and once again I saw emotion in his eyes. It was disgust.

He looked away. "Your blood is cursed," he murmured. He continued unfastening his belt but returned to the front of the van where I couldn't see him. I heard him as he continued to undress. Is he going to rape me? I hope someone comes to help. Or at least that I'll die before he comes back.

But I didn't die.

And he didn't come back.

I listened for a while but there was no sound except my wheezing breath. I listened to my heartbeat. With a great effort, I managed to lift back to a sitting position. Then, I tried to stand up and even though my legs were untied, I was just too weak. All my muscles hurt and I could barely hold my aching head up.

Minutes passed. Nothing happened. My body was weak but the adrenaline was keeping me conscious. I wanted to drift into a deep sleep and never wake up.

Then it showed up. A fox. It jumped from the forest and stood on the road, looking at me with its red eyes.

I felt relief but it was only for a few seconds. My panicked mind started connecting facts at the speed of light. The whistle. Enhanced hearing. Undressing. Cursed blood. I opened my eyes wide, moaned through the rag that was gagging me and frantically shook my head no. Hoping it would understand. Hoping it would run away and leave me to die. But it was too late.

There was almost no sound when a giant wolf emerged from the forest behind the fox's back. The wolf was almost as big as a horse, had pitch-black fur and red eyes. It was the most demonic creature I have seen in my life and I screamed through the rag. The fox turned around and immediately tensed but it was all too late, too late! Before the black fox could move an inch, the wolf opened its jaw and sunk its teeth into the fox's body. I heard a panicked squeal and the horrifying sound of crushing bones. The wolf lifted the fox in his jaw and started jerking his head left and right, shredding the fox's body to pieces. A few seconds later, the wolf let go of the smaller animal's bloodied body. I felt like I was hyperventilating. I started to wiggle my legs, trying to stand up but to no avail. When the wolf's red, gleaming eyes focused on me, I knew this was the end. I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry Owen. I should be with you. There should be us. We would be so happy but we never will. It's not meant to be. Maybe we will reunite one day.

I felt something warm on my left thigh and I noticed a dark stain spreading from my crotch. Somehow, this sobered me a bit. I can't die like this. Like a pathetic pissing-in-pants piece of shit. Someone already died because of me. More foxes can be here any second. Never. Again.

I closed my eyes. My thoughts were running crazy but I used all my willpower to make them behave. To think about Owen sucking Ryan's long, black dick. About Ryan cumming in Owen's mouth. About Owen experiencing the best sex of his life with Ryan. Not with me. With Ryan…

I repeated the black boy's name like a mantra and the feeling of the plucked string came like a long-lost friend. I already knew what to expect and while I still didn't feel like I was in full control, I let go and embraced the feeling. A few seconds later, the world came back to me and I was standing on my fours, trying to untangle from my human clothes. My former hands were free, a piece of rope that used to bind them lay tangled on the ground. When I looked up, the big wolf was staring at me motionlessly. Almost looking like he's amused. Almost.

I stumbled on my legs, trying to get used to my new form and that's when he attacked. I knew I couldn't outrun him and I instinctively crouched and backed away under the car. The wolf's teeth snapped before my eyes just when I managed to hide. Then he tried to reach me with his claws, but I backed away further toward the middle of the van. I was safe there. He couldn't reach me there. He was too big. I could wait here as long as I needed and wait for help. But I knew I couldn't. I can't be here when other foxes arrive. We can't be here.

I realized my thoughts were much clearer each time I transformed. I could remember human words, names and memories. I was Alex. And I had to do what I had to do. Goodbye Mum. Goodbye Owen. If heaven exists, I will always love you from above.

When the wolf was busy repeatedly reaching for me with its enormous, crooked paw, I turned around, darted from under the car and dashed towards the tree line. I heard him running after me almost immediately. He was faster. Much faster. That's why I felt relief when I entered the forest first. I can't die yet. I can't die here. No one else can die because of me.

When I passed the first trees and felt the shadow of the bigger wolf just behind me, I abruptly turned left and jumped between two tightly-placed trees. I made it to the other side and turned again. I managed to increase the distance as I heard the wolf struggle to follow me. I continued zigzagging and even risked looking back at one point. The big wolf had difficulty navigating through the dense forest but he was not far behind. And I was getting tired. I won't outrun him. I know it. But I'll make him chase me for a while longer. Lead him away from the foxes. Make them notice there's grave danger around. Let them run and hide. Then, I can die in peace.

The forest was dark but not for me. I started noticing strange shadows moving around us, running with us. I saw them with the corners of my eyes. First, one shadow appeared, then others joined it. Then there were even more. And I was getting weaker. The wolf was getting closer.

For the most part, I thought I was running away in a random direction. But then I felt it. Something was calling me to The Place. We were getting closer. We were getting nearer.

I stumbled over a root and almost fell. When I got up and turned right, I heard jaws snap and felt a blinding pain in my tail. That made me find the last remains of energy hidden in my body. The transformation gave me a boost of power but it was wearing off. My tongue was sticking out and my breath was as fast as my legs. I rushed forward, narrowly escaping the wolf. By then, the entire forest was moving. I started seeing these shapes closer now. Running, crawling, flying. Witnessing my last moments. I fulfilled my destiny. I'm ready.

Suddenly, I entered the clearing. The Place. I made a few last desperate leaps and collapsed in the middle. The memory of Ryan playing with me in the very same spot flashed before my eyes. The place where I left my final seed was about to become my grave.

The wolf emerged right behind me but didn't approach me. He stopped in his tracks and looked around. Shadows started emerging from the forest and into the grassy field. The shadows shifted, twisted and merged until they became distinct. Rabbits. Deer. Wild boar. Owls. Squirrels. Even wolves and foxes. And all kinds of birds, rodents, and animals I could hardly recognize. Earlier, they all seemed to be black. Here, in the moonlight, I saw they were normal. No black fur. No red eyes. Hundreds upon hundreds and more were coming.

They slowly closed in on us and started encircling the big wolf. They were calm when facing this humongous beast that used to be my father. He took a few steps back. The circle wasn't full. There was an opening in the direction where we came from. The wildlife of the forest was banishing the wolf. Protecting me.

The wolf hesitated as if calculating his chances against this serene throng. He took another step back. Then another. Then he turned and ran into the darkness of the forest. I blacked out.

***

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark. I immediately knew I was still in the wolf form. But I knew who I was. I remembered everything.

The cosy feeling I felt was thanks to three black foxes, curled up in little black balls around me. I felt an overwhelming mixture of relief, safety and sadness. And on top of it all, there was ravenous hunger. If not for it, I would very much like to go back to sleep.

I stirred and the foxes started moving, too. One of them stood up and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry," I showed her.

"I know. You are hungry," she showed me back.

"Yes," I showed her.

"Follow us," I read from her eyes.

We trotted through the dark forest. The fox that talked to me was always by my side but the other ones disappeared.

A few minutes later, one of them rejoined us. She had a dead rabbit in her mouth and she dropped it on the ground before me. I didn't think twice. I literally tore it to pieces, not leaving a single scrap of meat behind. Meanwhile, the third fox returned, carrying a big, red apple. I ate that too.

The fox looked at me. "Let's get you home."

We ran. I felt an uncomfortable feeling I identified as anxiety when we got closer to the edge of the forest and the place where Dad's van was parked. Maybe we should go a different way, I wanted to tell the foxes but they paid me no attention.

We crossed the tree line and the car wasn't there. The fox's body was gone, too.

"We took care of it," the fox looked at me with sad eyes. I had more questions but they were running again and I had to keep up.

As we were getting close to the city, my anxiety increased. It would take only one person to see us. One security camera to catch us.

The foxes lead through narrow streets and alleys without a hint of hesitation. I should've figured they would have all the paths sorted out by now. They stopped and waited in the dark alley for the drunk group to pass and disappear around the corner. It had to be very late at night because there was hardly anyone else on the streets.

Shortly after, we reached my house. All the lights were out and there was no van parked in the yard.

The smallest fox climbed the wall of the house like a squirrel and disappeared on the roof. I was sure foxes couldn't climb walls but my mind wasn't able to process this dilemma in its current state. Less than a minute later, the fox reappeared from behind the wall and joined us.

"He's not here," the fox looked at me. “Come with us.”

I was disoriented. Wasn’t that good? That he wasn’t there? In a matter of minutes, we arrived at their home. The foxes entered the house through the pet door and I followed suit. I had to squeeze a little to get through it, but eventually, I found myself inside. I followed the smallest fox to its room and the other foxes disappeared somewhere else in the house.

The smallest fox transformed into a boy.

"Alex, Alex!" Ryan said, looking me right in my red eyes. I focused on my name and on who I was. I already understood what I had to do to tune myself for transformation. I didn't fully grasp it yet and wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it by myself but with Ryan's assistance, I quickly felt my spine play a clean, warm note and the transformation started.

Ryan's fur retracted in mere seconds. Mine took a bit longer but it was still way quicker than last time.

Ryan was sitting on the floor, staring blankly at the wall. My senses were still swirling and adjusting but I walked on my fours and placed my hand on his knee.

"Ryan," I said but there was no reaction. "Ryan! I'm so, so sorry…"

He didn't react to that either so I got on my knees and hugged him. Initially, he felt numb and senseless in my arms but as seconds passed, he started hugging me back. We lasted like that for what felt like hours until finally, Ryan let out a long sigh.

"She was like a mother to us," he said. Then, very gently, he started sobbing and shivering. I tightened the embrace without a word. Ryan was always so distant and confident. It shocked and scared me to see him in his vulnerable state. I did my best to be strong for him and never let him go.

He was the one to finally let me go and I saw tears drying on his cheeks.

"Thank you, Alex," he whispered.

"It's all my fault," I said. "I should've… I should've…" I started but couldn't think of a thing I could've done to prevent what happened.

"Relax, Alex, it's not your fault. We knew the stakes. Jessica never let anyone catch her off guard like that," his voice broke.

"My… dad…" I stuttered. "What do we do?"

"Nothing… yet. Stay with us for a while. Then we'll get you home and see if he shows up."

"Shouldn't we call the police?"

"Absolutely not," he said. "We can't risk anyone being compromised. That would be the death of all of us. And of you."

"Now that I'm one of… us, can you tell me who we are? Where are the others? What's going on?"

"All in due time. And you're not one of us. You're one of them."

"What? Who is us and who is them?"

"When Jessica died… did you see her change back into her true form, like that cat dude in Owen's backyard did?"

I had to think about it. My mind was in emergency mode at that time and I changed into a wolf only moments later. But I remembered.

"No, she didn't. Why?"

"Because she was in her true form."

***

We slept in Ryan's bed. Yes, we were naked and yes, we were cuddling a little bit but there was nothing sexual about it. Suddenly, Ryan felt like a brother to me.

His sleep was uneasy. He turned and tumbled to the point where I considered sleeping on the floor. Then he started talking in his sleep. It really disturbed me. I didn't know Ryan very long but he never seemed like a fragile person. Did I expect him to keep it cool after Jessica had been violently mangled by my dad? Of course not. But Ryan was my last mainstay in all the craziness. Now, he needed help himself and it didn't matter that he said it wasn't my fault.

I'm not sure when I managed to fall asleep but when I woke up, dim sunlight was already peeking through the blinds. I felt the need to wake up Ryan so I nudged him. He turned back to me immediately and his eyes were red. He seemed like a mess and I never imagined feeling for him as I did right then. It made me forget about my own worries.

"I'm here," I said.

"Thanks, Alex," Ryan said, not sounding like himself.

"I'm sorry for waking you," I said. "I needed to… I don't know."

"It's fine," he said.

We cuddled and fell asleep once again.

***

"It's time to go," Ryan said after shaking me out of uneasy sleep.

"What? Where?" I asked, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

"We have to get you back home. You're safer there than here."

"How?"

"We have to assume that your dad saw me giving Owen the whistle. Maybe he knows where I live, maybe he doesn't but if he finds us here, we can't fight him. We have friends but it'll take time to coordinate with them. The hope is he wouldn’t dare harm you when you're with your family."

"I told you, they're away."

"When are they coming back?"

I checked the time. "Oh my god, they can be back anytime."

"That's why we need to go."

"What do I say to my mum if she asks about Dad?"

"Say that he left home and didn't come back. You know nothing. Police might start looking for him if he goes missing, but you can't say anything. We'll have to get him anyway."

"And… kill him?"

"It's either him or us, Alex. Besides, it's mostly Owen he is after."

"Owen?"

Ryan looked me deep in the eyes. "Remember that puma monster bloke?"

"The rapist? How could I forget?"

"Well, here's the thing. I kind of lied about the rapist thing. I didn't want to freak you out, you see. Those guys… there are more of them. I don't know who most of them are. They are after me and my family. Now, they might be after you, too. But most of all, they're after Owen."

"Why? Please tell me the truth. I can handle it."

He sighed and told me.

I was wrong. I couldn't handle it.

***

My mind was shattered to pieces. I almost forgot to get dressed before leaving Ryan's house. Ryan gave me some clothes and asked if I wanted him to come with me. I said no.

I hope nobody has seen me. I was walking like I was on death row. Thousands of thoughts stormed inside my head. Why? Why me? Why us?

Seeing Dad's van parked at our house took away the last bits of hope I had stored. When I saw Mom's car parked next to it, I shivered and almost faded out. I knew I would never manage to pull myself together before facing them, but at least I already knew what to say.

Mum and Dad were sitting on the couch and watching TV. Both smiled in my direction.

"Hey Alex," Mum said, "how was your date? Did something happen?"

I stood there, paralyzed. I was getting ready for it, but I wouldn't be ready in a million years. I still saw Dad's cold face and murderous gaze. He was wearing a warm and comforting mask now but I could see the monster right through it.

"It was… it was awful, Mum. We broke up."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"No, Mum. Can I go to my room? I'm feeling sick. I will tell you everything later."

I didn't want to see their faces as I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. I didn't want to wait a second. I called Owen.

"Hey Alex, babe, how are you?" He said cheerfully when he picked up. I forgot he was living in a different reality. In a reality where everything seemed normal and friendly.

"Owen… I can't keep it up anymore. I'm so, so sorry. You and I, it's not going to work out."

"Very funny, babe. What’ve you been up to today?"

"Owen…" I sobbed. I didn't want to cry but hearing him on the other side, full of love and life was killing me. "I'm serious. It was great but I don't feel it anymore." By that time I was openly weeping. He was probably thinking I was out of my mind. Perhaps I was. "I'm sorry for giving you hope. Goodbye Owen. Don’t call me." My voice broke when I said his name for the last time. I covered my mouth with my hand because by now I was crying uncontrollably.

"Wait, Alex, are you crying? Please tell me what happened. Alex? Alex?"

I wanted to say something. I wanted so strongly to say anything. I wanted to say how much I loved him and how much I needed him but I couldn't. He had to forget about me as soon as possible. I wouldn't be able to get a single word out of my painfully squeezed throat anyway. I touched the red button and collapsed on the floor.

I was at my lowest low. I was crying until I had no more tears to cry and then I just panted and sobbed. I even considered ending it all here and now. All the time I heard the vibrations coming from the phone so eventually, I took it, blocked Owen's number and all his social media.

I tried to find the little silver whistle but obviously, it was nowhere to be found. It must've fallen off in the forest after I transformed. Hopefully, it will get run over and crushed by a car or pressed into the dirt and buried forever.

You're safe now, Owen. You're safe.

END OF SEASON 2