A Tragic Love - 8. Chapter 8 – A Celebration of life

The next big occurrence in our lives would be the combined celebration of our birthdays. We decided it would be easiest for our private celebration to occur on the Presidents’ Day holiday, which in this case would be Monday, February 16^th. This would be a week after my actual birthday and meant we’d have to wait a little longer for our time together, but as long as we were able to do it together and alone it would be worth the wait.

We both knew we could never surpass what happened over Christmas, so we weren’t about to try. What we were going to do was revel in our love for each other and thank the Lord for the other’s birth. We were both going to become teenagers, so we thought this suggested a more solemn observance than most birthday parties tend to provide, since we were about to celebrate our ascension into adulthood.

We were each making plans to celebrate our real birthdays with our families, so it wasn’t like our birthdays were going to pass unobserved. David’s birthday fell on a Saturday, so his father planned to take him on a very special trip for the weekend. My birthday was the following Monday, so my mom was planning a family party for me on the same Saturday as David’s birthday. We each appreciated the effort our loved ones were putting into their plans, but we still wanted our private celebration to be something special for just the two of us to share. To accomplish this was going to take a lot of thought and careful planning, so we hoped to pull it off.

The problem was, I had my doubts as to whether I was up to the task. It was merely by chance that I figured out what gift to give David for Christmas and at nearly the last second, so I wasn’t convinced I’d have any more success at this. I knew I could never be that lucky again, but I did promise myself to do my best, even though I wasn’t overly confident in my abilities.

My approach, however, would be slightly different this time. Instead of focusing on a gift, I started watching romantic movies, because I was hoping one of them would give me that special theme or idea, around which I could plan my portion of the day. After twenty or thirty movies, all I had was a whole repertoire of mushy clichés and a good idea of what I didn’t want to happen. As much as I tried to avoid it, I was in a similar predicament to what happened at Christmas.

I continued to search for that one thing about David’s life that I most wanted to celebrate, but I wasn’t going to select something as crass as focusing on his sex organ, although that wasn’t bad. No, we’ve always said the sex was secondary and we could live without it, even though we enjoyed it whenever we did anything. This time, I wanted to transcend the mundane and the trivial so we could celebrate the essence of my lover. Now, all I had to do was to determine what that mystical ingredient was. I guess this might indeed be my equivalent of studying rocket science and I hadn’t even been accepted to attend the college of love yet.

In between bouts of trying to find the answer to this conundrum, my life went on as usual. School was going well, life at home was smooth and my love life was a twelve on a scale of one to ten. Up until the time I met David, I never had very high expectations for my future and I guess my outlook had been greatly jaded by the reality of my family’s situation. Now, since he’d come into my life, I knew the sky was the limit and that’s why David’s birthday observance was so important to me.

I wanted this to be even better than Christmas, so I had to focus on my goal. This time around though, I was trying to scrape up every penny I could find to add to my leftover Christmas money, so I could buy David a special gift. I would settle for nothing cheap or homegrown this time around, because I wanted it to show him how much he meant to me.

After hours of thinking about this, I decided to take a short break and give David a call.

“Hello,” he answered.

“David, it’s me. What are you doing?” I asked.

“Thinking about our next get-together. Do you have any definite suggestions yet?” David wanted to know.

“No. How about you?” I replied.

“Not yet, but I think I’ve got an idea about what I want to get you, though,” he answered.

“Yeah, I’ve got an idea for you too,” I lied to make him feel better, “but we’ve got to have something better than just presents.”

“You’re right,” David agreed. “We need some kind of a magic moment.”

“Bingo,” I replied, when a blinding light went off in my head. I wish all of my problems could be solved so easily.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” David challenged. “Hello? Billy? Are you still there?”

“Yes. Sorry, I just kind of zoned out there for a minute,” I apologized.

“So what’s up, space cadet?” David pressed.

“Nothing, honest,” I fibbed, but it immediately appeared as if David could tell I wasn’t being truthful.

“Oh, come on. Tell me what it was that made you tune me out,” David insisted, while sounding extremely sad. I knew it was his attempt to entice me to give in.

“ I said it was nothing,” I restated, although I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let it drop.

“Do I have to pout and cry over the phone?” he wanted to know and I could just picture the pathetic expression that was showing on his face as he said this. “Come on. Tell me what it was that was more important than talking to me.”

“I give. I was just thinking about you,” I offered, hoping this would suffice. “More precisely, I was thinking about what I want to do for you when we celebrate our birthdays.”

“This is getting good. Tell me more,” David responded.

“No. It’s for your birthday, so you’ll find out then,” I stated, while wishing he’d just let it drop.

“Please,” he whined, obviously not ready to quit.

“NO! I’m not giving in. If you keep whining then I’m going to hang up,” I threatened.

“No. Don’t do that,” he pleaded. “Ok, you win, but now you’re going to make me think about this conversation all night, so I can try to figure out what you’re hiding from me.”

“Damn nosy, aren’t you?” I pointed out.

“Maybe, but only when it comes to you,” he insisted. “I need to know everything about you, including everything you like, what you think about and every little thing you desire. I don’t want to leave anything out or take the chance that you might slip away.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” I assured him. “The only thing you might have to worry about is how to get rid of me when you find you want someone new.”

“That’s not a problem, because that day will never come,” he stated emphatically.

“I’m happy to hear that,” I admitted. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go, because I have to start putting my plan into action. Try not to let curiosity kill my poor little kitty cat, because I couldn’t bear that. Gotta go. Love you. Bye.”

I didn’t even give him a chance to respond, because I was afraid he would keep giving me his version of the third degree and I too frequently find I can’t resist his boyish charms.

Now was a time for action, because I had a lot to prepare if I wanted to be totally ready for this special night. I started by talking to my mom and asking her a bunch of questions, since I figured she’d be able to answer most of them. She also wouldn’t be able to figure anything out by the types of questions I asked, so I wasn’t worried about doing this. I did my best to hide the fact I was gay from the family, because I wasn’t sure how she or my grandparents would react if they ever found out or discovered David was my lover.

I’d heard my grandfather tell his friends some very homophobic jokes on the rare occasions that I accompanied him on his visits and I’d always felt he was not an overly accepting person. No, this was one fact that would probably be best not to disclose, so I guess it’s back to the closet with my life. I just can’t afford for anyone to find out my secret.

As I suspected, my mom was very helpful. In fact, she surprised me and outdid herself in unwittingly assisting me with the plans for our private party. Although she didn’t realize it, she either answered or steered me toward the answer for every obstacle I faced. Now, I just had to do the legwork to set the plan for the evening in motion.

The days leading up to our special night crept steadily forward until it was for this special event to get underway. On Sunday afternoon, I showered, trimmed my nails, combed my hair and brushed my teeth, because I wanted to look good and didn’t need bad breath to spoil the mood. I then dressed in my best clothes, because I wanted everything to be perfect, and then inspected my appearance over and over again in the mirror. When I was satisfied that everything was just right, I grabbed my pre-packed backpack and headed out the door.

I decided to walk my bike instead of ride it, because I didn’t want to take a chance that the wind would mess up my appearance or risk catching my pant leg in the chain. Walking, however, took a lot longer, so I didn’t arrive until around 5:00. When I finally got there, I found David sitting on his front stoop, waiting for me. He was dressed in his suit and certainly looked hot!

“Great. Dad left early, so we’re on our own,” he explained, just as soon as he saw me. “May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the party room?”

“Wow. What fine manners you have, young sir,” I replied, very formally. “Did your dad send you to finishing school as his present for your birthday?”

“Don’t start,” David warned. “I’m not going to let you spoil my plans or my mood.”

“You’re quite right, so please, lead the way,” I urged.

David opened the front door, took me by the arm, and led me into the house. He led me straight up to his bedroom, so I began to wonder what his present might be. When he opened the door, I saw how much trouble he’d gone to when preparing for tonight. There was a soft glow in the room from a small lamp and several candles were placed strategically about. As I walked in, I heard a song playing softly in the background. I immediately recognized the tune as ‘My Special Angel,’ because it was one of the ‘oldies’ my grandmother often played in the house. I assumed David must have borrowed it from his dad or grandfather, and then when I heard it start again, I concluded he had set it on repeat play before he went out to greet me.

As David began to fiddle with different things, I listened to the lyrics of the song. I guess I’d never really listened to the words before, but they were really romantic.

“You are my special angel
Sent from up above
The Lord smiled down on me
And sent an angel to love

You are my special angel
Right from paradise
I know that you’re an angel
Heaven is in your eyes

The smile from your lips brings the summer sunshine
Tears from your eyes bring the rain
I feel your touch, your warm embrace
And I’m in heaven again

You are my special angel
Through eternity
I’ll have my special angel
Here to watch over me.”

“Nice song. I didn’t know you listened to such old tunes,” I teased.

“I don’t really, but this is a song my dad used to play for my mom on her birthday and on their anniversary,” he answered. “I just thought it was kind of fitting that I use it for tonight too.”

“That’s sweet and it really is a lovely song,” I agreed.

After saying this, I began to study the room again. There was a small table on the far side of the bed with a cake, two small plates and two forks beside it. When David finished making his final adjustments, he came back to where I was standing. He then took my hand and led me over to the table, where he directed me to a chair. He even pulled it out and asked me to sit. Then he sat in the other chair, while still holding my hand.

“I’ve been excited all day,” he confessed. “My father knew something was up, but I explained it away by telling him I was giving you a surprise party for your birthday. I think he was a little confused when I told him no one else was coming and it was just going to be the two of us.”

He paused at this point and looked kind of nervous. He kept staring at me and would occasionally glance around the room, before he eventually spoke again.

“I can’t delay this any longer,” he finally admitted. “I want to give you your presents.”

Presents? That means more than one. Damn! I only got him one present, so he’s gone and one-upped me yet again.

“I want to give you this one first,” he added, as he handed me a small box.

As I looked it over it seemed nearly identical to the one he gave me for Christmas. Nervously, I unwrapped it and found another jewelry box. I opened it with trembling fingers and discovered a single gold charm. It was a tiny angel.

“This gift has two meanings behind it,” he explained. “The first you may have guessed from the song I have been playing. Billy, you truly are my special angel.”

I immediately felt like a little girl, because I starting crying - no, I was sobbing hysterically. I’d never heard anything so sweet in my entire life. When he saw this, David moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, in an effort to will his strength into my body and help me take control of the moment. When I finally got myself back together, he gave me a sweet kiss and then returned to his seat.

“The second meaning behind the gift,” he began again, “is to let you know that I want to be your guardian angel, so I can protect you always.”

Here we go again. Once more I was overcome with another bout of tears and once again I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have this boy love me as he does. Again, he approached my chair and tried to help me regain my composure. All I could do was look into those electrifying brown eyes and try to let him know how much I truly loved him. Now, he was on one knee beside me, seemingly afraid to go back to his seat and unwilling to leave me alone.

“I’m sure you know this charm is supposed to go on the chain I got you for Christmas,” he explained.

All I could do was to nod in agreement.

“Now, please accept this second small gift,” he continued.

I lowered my head in shame at how much more he had done for me, as David pushed another little package into my hand. This appeared to be identical to the first gift, at least on the exterior. I attempted to open it and fumbled badly, since my hands were not working in perfect harmony with the rest of my body. David saw the difficulty I was having and assisted me in my efforts. Once the wrapping paper had been removed, he placed another small jewelry box in my hand. I carefully worked to lift the lid, but this time my reaction was totally different and I burst out laughing.

David seemed to be relieved by my outburst and started laughing right along with me. The reason for this was that in the box was a little gold cannon. He certainly didn’t have to explain this one to me.

I hugged David as he knelt next to me, until I was finally able to tell him it would take me a few minutes before I could make my presentation to him. He nodded in understanding and smiled lovingly in my direction. When I felt I could do what I had been prepared to do, I stood up and began to speak.

“I thought about many things before I decided on your gift, I began, while looking directly into his eyes. “I wanted to give you some symbol to show the one thing about you that makes me most want to celebrate your birth. At first, I ran through all the obvious choices, your face, your eyes, your smile, your incredible body and that wonderful fifth appendage you have. Then, I realized none of those were the most important reason.

“This forced me to delve deeper and I considered that it might be your wonderful mind, your tenderness, your understanding or even your forgiving nature. Although those are truly wonderful qualities that you possess, none of them could count as the one special thing that I loved the most about you. Then I figured it out.”

With that, I handed David my gift. It was also a small package, very similar to the two he had just given me, and when he opened it he found a small, gold heart.

“This also has a double meaning,” I said, as I choked back my tears. “The first and most important thing about you is your big heart – the one that accepted me so completely and the one you gave to me without reservation. It is the one thing I shall cherish about you until the day I die.

“The second reason I wanted to give you this heart,” I continued, “was to let you know how much you’ve touched my heart, and for all intent and purposes, I am giving you my heart to you in return.”

We embraced and held onto each other as if our lives depended on it. God, I still can’t get over how much we think alike and how very similar our preparations were.

“There is one more part to my portion of this evening,” I added, “but I need a minute to prepare.”

I temporarily left my gorgeous hunk standing there alone, as I retrieved my next surprise from my backpack. Before I could do what I wanted, however, I first had to turn off “You Are My Special Angel,” which was still playing. Then I started playing another song, one I had borrowed from my grandmother, before I walked over to David again.

“May I have the honor of this dance?” I asked, while making a slight bow.

He looked at me lovingly and then took me in his arms, as we danced to an old, slow song that I had heard my grandmother play many times before. One of David’s earlier comments, when we were planning this night, had prompted me to do this.

“This magic moment,
So different and so new,
Unlike any other
Until I met you.
And then it happened,
It took me by surprise.
I knew that you felt it too,
I could see it by the look in your eyes…”