My Prompt Stories - 3. Chapter 3 Ground Hog Day

This short story is in response to Prompt #267:

It's Groundhog Day and a crowd of people, along with throngs of reporters, are waiting for the furry beast to pop out of its den and see its shadow... or not. When it finally does surface, the first thing it does is run to the nearest reporter and grab their microphone, then proceeds to start speaking. What does it say?

I’d just been rudely awakened, hauled out of my den, and held into the air by this really old human wearing a ridiculous looking top hat. As soon as he put me down, I ran over to the microphone, grabbed it between my forepaws. and began to speak. As I glanced out at the crowd, they all had shocked expressions on their faces, so I guess they weren’t expecting this. Was it because I’d never done it before or didn’t they know I could speak?

“Why do you damn people continue to wake me up from a deep sleep and ruin my dreams every year? Don’t you realize that I hibernate all winter long? Yet you persist on waking me up every February just to find out if I can see my shadow? Do you really believe I’m a damn meteorologist? Well, I’m not and I don’t have a degree, so I have no idea why you think I can predict the weather.” I had to stop briefly to catch my breath, because I said all of that without inhaling.

“What makes you think that on this specific day of the year that if I see my shadow it will mean six more weeks of winter, and if I don’t see my shadow it will mean there will be an early spring? Was that some kind of a bet one of your forefathers made or accepted when he was drunk or high? Or it was it the result of some stupid school boy prank that someone else though was a good idea?” When I stopped to scan the crowd, they were either smirking or smiling, which pissed me off even more.

“Why don’t you try using another animal instead, maybe one that doesn’t hibernate, like a dog or a cat? You could find out if they see their shadow and it would be just as effective and valid as what you’re doing with me!” I looked around smugly to see their reactions where now, when I suddenly had another idea.

“Better yet, why don’t you try waking up a grizzly and dragging it outside to see if it sees its shadow. Maybe it would be better able to express how pissed off I get at having to do this every year. But you won’t do it with a grizzly, would you? If you did, the bear might slash you with its claws or bite you in the ass. That’s something I’ve wanted to do in the past, but you hold me at arm’s length with those special gloves that cover your hands and forearms so it wouldn’t have quite the same impact as if a bear did it. Just find some other animal or something else to use. Hell, you could hold up a cardboard box or your stupid looking top hat for this absurd tradition and you’d get the same results, but just leave me the fuck alone!”

This time when I looked at the faces in the crowd, all I saw were either shocked or horrified expressions. That’s when my handler rushed over to scoop me up so he could take me back to my den. I hope this time they definitely got my message and I won’t have to go through this again next year!