The Castaway Hotel - 4 - 18. Chapter 18 - The Fighter, The Player, And The Orphan

Monday evening, I finally got a chance to spend time with my boys and discuss the weekend with them, so I could get their take on how things went. I was thinking in terms of Richard and the Beckers, but soon discovered not everyone was focused solely upon them.

Dustin was more than eager to fill me in on some of Pat’s accomplishments over the weekend, events I had not heard about until now. It seemed that Pat had managed to maneuver on his own, from the family room to the downstairs bathroom, and use the facilities during the evening, without having to wake Dustin and ask for his assistance. Pat even went to the kitchen, got a glass from the cupboard and got himself a drink during the night too. Although these may seem like small accomplishments to the rest of us, these were major leaps for Pat.

Obviously, Pat had made up his mind that it was time to be independent again and not let his blindness defeat him, so this was a major sign that he was healing emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically. I immediately wondered if it had anything to do with our earlier visit to the school for the blind, but felt Pat would fill me in about it when he was ready.

As it turned out, I was right, because later that evening Pat asked to speak with me. He began by informing me that he was reconsidering Dustin’s earlier offer, to have him stay with him on the second floor, and announced he felt he might be ready to tackle the stairs and move out of my room. We talked about this in more detail privately, until I was convinced that his motives were appropriate and he was prepared to take this step. After he explained how he and Dustin had been getting along, and how they had helped each other get some relief the other night too, I gave him my blessing to give it a try, with the appropriate words of caution to go along with it. I advised him to be extra careful whenever he was around the stairs and to make certain which wall he was using at night as his reference point, as it would make a difference in understanding where he was and in avoiding accidents.

Pat beamed from ear to ear when I gave him my approval and made his way to me so he could give me a hug, before he left the room, under his own power. From there he went to tell the other boys about this change.

Later that same evening, I got some other news, but this was of a more disturbing nature. It was after dinner when Brent approached me and filled me in about some things he overheard at school. It seems that Nick had been hitting on other students at school and having sexual encounters with them in the boys’ rooms, locker room and in secluded outdoor locations. Brent explained that one of the boys he was becoming friends with asked him about Nick and wanted to know if Nick was really like that, as he was considering letting Nick suck him off. Brent said he did tell the boy that Nick did seem to have a big sexual appetite and that Nick had made him similar offers as well. I was just finding out that Nick had made his way to Brent’s room shortly after he arrived, looking for a little action.

From what Brent told me, he and Nick had gotten it on a couple of times, and when Brent told this other boy that, the boy said he was going to let Nick do him. Brent said he didn’t mind so much what Nick was doing, but he was more concerned about Kevin and how Kevin would take the news if he ever found out. Brent had heard all the stories about the rough times Kevin went through with Dustin and didn’t want to see Kevin have to endure something like that again.

I thanked him for filling me in on what was happening, so I’d be ready to be there for Kevin if he did find out about any of this, but it would also allow me an opportunity to talk to Nick about his actions, before it became a problem. Brent ended our conversation by saying he really liked Kevin and didn’t want to see him get hurt again, but felt it would happen, if he stayed with Nick. I told him I would try to cushion the blow for Kevin, but there wasn’t much any of us could do at this point to protect him completely. He nodded his understanding, but quickly added it still bothered him anyway.

Later, as the boys were getting ready for bed, I asked Nick if I could speak with him alone, so we went into my room for some privacy. “Nick, I’ve been hearing some stories that you’re on the prowl again and having sex with boys outside the family. Would you like to fill me in on what’s been going on?”

There was a shocked expression on his face, as he had obviously thought he was being very careful and discreet along the way. As he attempted to answer, he began to stutter. “Well… a… I was… uh… who… uh… who told you?”

“I do have my sources,” was all I replied. “Did you forget that I work for the same school district you attend and have many friends, associates and former students who confide in me?”

“Well… a… no… I didn’t forget. I just… well… uh… didn’t think … well… you know… that anyone else… uh… knew.”

“Nick, I’m sure you’re aware this isn’t a large city and everyone here seems to know everyone else’s business,” I explained. “People see and hear things, and then talk to their friends about what is going on. It’s very hard, if not impossible, to keep a secret in a small town like this. We’ve been fortunate so far, as the boys have kind of kept their activities confined to our home, so people have only been able to suspect that some of them are gay, but they’ve had nothing substantial to move beyond the speculation stage. However, you are doing it with others outside of the family and some of them are bound to talk. Besides, you’re also doing it at school and on school grounds, and there is a chance that you will get caught or people will see you meeting with these boys at various places and speculate about what you’re up to. That’s bound to get tongues wagging around here.”

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, somewhat concerned.

“Not mad, just disappointed that you can’t seem to keep that thing in your pants or allow others to do the same,” I responded. “We’ve discussed about going outside the family before and I really expected you’d talk this over with me first, or at least let me know what you were thinking about doing, before you began including non-family members in your sex-capades.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” he shot back, either because he was confused about why I thought that way or was shocked I assumed he should confide his intentions to me.

“Nick, I’ve been well aware that you’re one of those boys who’s not happy with just one partner and prefer doing different things with different people,” I began, “but in this day and age it’s just not wise or safe. I can’t say I totally understand why you’re like that, but I’ve known other guys, both straight and gay, who felt the same way. However, such actions not only set you up to be assaulted by those who don’t like gays, but they also perpetuate the stereotype that all gays are promiscuous. Not only that, but you also substantially increase your risk of acquiring an STD or even being exposed to the AIDS virus.”

“I know about that stuff,” he countered, “and I’ve been using rubbers whenever I’m doing things with other guys.”

“That’s good, and I’m glad you’re being careful,” I countered, “but that’s not enough. Condoms are good for reducing the risk of being exposed to some STDs, but they’re not foolproof. Not only can they rupture, but it’s also been suggested that the latex used to make them can contain defects large enough for the AIDS virus to penetrate. This means using prophylactics just isn’t enough…”

He cut me off. “Then what should I do?” he asked, concerned.

“What you need to do is learn how to control you lust and confine your actions to a few limited individuals,” I replied. “You’re not just placing yourself in jeopardy by your actions, but you’re also exposing everyone in this household.”

“And how am I doing that?” he questioned.

“By exposing yourself to such things with other partners,” I explained. “If you happened to catch anything, you would carry whatever diseases you’d pick up back to the house, and then when you did something with one of the others, they’d unwittingly pick it up from you. Then, in turn, they would spread it to those they had contact with within the family, and before you know it, all of you boys could come down with something terrible and I could lose you all.” I must have had tears in my eyes at this point, because Nick seemed shocked that I was so emotional about this topic.

“Look, I’ll be okay and I’ll be extra careful from now on,” he informed me. “I don’t want to hurt any of you.”

“What about Kevin?” I countered. “What’s going to happen to him when he finds out you’ve been messing around with other boys?”

“You’re not going to tell him, are you?” Nick challenged, while looking deeply worried that I might.

“No, I’m not going to say anything to him,” I replied, which caused Nick to relax briefly, “but he’s going to find out on his own, sooner or later. I think some of the other boys might already have heard the rumors or have their own suspicions about what you’re up to. I can’t tell you how devastating it will be to Kevin, since he’s already had his heart broken once, and as you probably know, Kevin’s a one-lover sort of guy. He is only capable of loving one person at a time, and when he does, he loves them very deeply and gives his heart completely.”

“I know and I tried not to hurt him. I really did,” Nick admitted. “I do like Kevin more than anyone else I’ve ever been with, but… well… it’s just that… well… sometimes… uh… I just get this itch… to do it with somebody else… and, well… then it’s like… uh… well, I have to scratch it… you know… before it drives me nuts.”

“I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you are taking some precautions,” I replied, “but I think you should find a way to tell Kevin and let him down as gently as you can, unless you are willing to control these ‘itches.’ You can talk it over with me first, if you want me to try to help you figure out what to say to him, but I think you’ll need to do this and do it soon, before he finds out about it on his own.”

“Yeah, I know you’re right, but I don’t want to hurt him,” Nick reasoned.

“I think it’s kind of late to prevent that,” I countered. “Once he finds out what you’ve been up to, he will definitely be hurt and it will be very hard for him to accept it or look at you the same way again. I just want to make this as painless for him as we can.”

“But how can I tell him, especially after Valentine’s Day?” Nick challenged. “He acts like we got engaged or something that night.”

“I know he did think it was a sign that you really wanted to be with just him,” I acknowledged, “but that doesn’t change what still needs to be done. You’ll have to find a way to break this to him as gently as you can.”

“I don’t know how I’ll be able to do that, so I’m really going to need your help.” I agreed and we talked a while longer, but were unable to come up with a definite plan. However, we did make some progress in that direction.

The rest of the week was also filled with many highs and lows. Pat was becoming more independent and handling the stairs and the second floor better than I anticipated, and he was also doing well with his tutors. In fact, he had even discussed the possibility with them about attending regular classes again and asked if they’d help him talk me into going along with the idea. They had even discuss ways Pat could pull this off by suggesting ideas such as recording his notes on a portable cassette recorder, so he could replay them later, when he needed to study. He would need an assortment of different cassettes, so he would not have to use them for more than one class, but would also have enough to hold his notes for the remainder of the school year. However, he still needed to work out a way for him to get around the school and move from one class to the next class, especially in the crowded hallways where everyone seemed to unconsciously bump into or jostle everyone else.

In the end, the tutors suggested Pat would probably also do better if he could socialize with his friends and peers again and not feel so isolated. One of his tutors even told me in private that if I agreed to this idea and the school was willing to go along with our plan, he would be willing to find someone to accompany Pat to all of his classes and then he’d come around each evening, to help Pat with his homework, if that’s what the two of us thought was best. I told him we’d all have to talk this over in greater detail, to make sure we had thought everything through and considered all of the ramifications before we acted. I didn’t want to give Pat more than he could handle or rush him into things, but I also didn’t want him to feel like an outcast. The tutor said he understood and we would all move forward cautiously.

Sometime later, Nick and I discussed his situation again and tossed around some ideas about how he could best bring Kevin up to speed about what he’d been up to, without scarring Kevin permanently. We considered many ways to do this, but rejected most of them rather quickly, for one reason or another. After much talk and many suggestions, I think we’d finally agreed on how and what Nick would tell Kevin. The question was when and where.

Nick really didn’t want to do this alone and wanted me there when he told Kevin, but I explained to him that I thought it best if he told Kevin on his own. That would leave me to be there to comfort Kevin afterward and not give him reason to focus on the fact that I had known about this, but never mentioned it to him. I was afraid if we told him together, Kevin would feel I was part of the problem and then refuse to let me help him get through this crisis when he needed me most. I think Nick gradually understood my point and reluctantly agreed to do this on his own.

Nick also told me he wanted to wait until he felt the time was right before he broke the news to Kevin. I felt he was taking a greater risk by doing it that way, and felt there would never be a GOOD time to do it, so I tried to encourage him to tell Kevin as soon as he could. I understood Nick was nervous about confronting Kevin and concerned about breaking his heart by acknowledging he had let him down, but I believed it would be worse if Kevin heard this news from someone else. Nick was still hoping he would be able to do it when Kevin was in a good mood, rather than when he was already depressed about something else, since it might not affect him as badly. I did kind of feel for Nick’s plight too, because I knew he had tried to make this work, but was unable to remain monogamous with Kevin for more than just a few months.

My biggest problem was, I couldn’t spend all my time focusing on just that situation, to the exclusion of everything else, since so much more was going on too. I was also trying to deal with Pat’s requests and helping him deal with his condition as best he could, but I was also involved in preparing for Richard and the Beckers returning this weekend. Although I wished I had sufficient time to deal with each of these situations on an individual basis, the reality of life was that I had to do the best I could juggling everything at the same time.

On Friday, Sally dropped Richard off for the second of his weekend visits with the Beckers, whom I expected would arrive bright and early the next morning. Ricky was more at ease for this visit and involved with more of the boys than just Ricky. This time around, I saw him doing things with Andrew, Sammy, Graham, Cole and Dion too, since they were also the ones closest to his age. However, after dinner he came up to me hurriedly, with a matter of great importance to discuss.

“Uncle Josh, I’ve been thinking all week about this and I need to tell you something,” he began. “I just don’t feel right calling you Uncle Josh… I mean, it just doesn’t seem right for me to be using your first name like that. I also don’t think I’d feel right calling you Pop either, like some of the other boys told me to do.”

“Well, what WOULD you like to call me?” I asked, having run out of ideas on this matter.

“Well, I did think of something, if it was all right with you,” he answered. “Would you mind if I called you Uncle Pop?”

I looked at him for a minute, thinking this combination odd, but then I began to like the sound of it. After a few seconds of thinking about it, I told him that would be fine and I loved his suggested. A huge grin spread across his face, almost running from ear-to-ear, and then he looked up at me and spoke. “Yeah, I liked it too and it will be something special for just the two of us, okay?”

“You bet, sport. I like that a lot,” I concurred. My response seemed to make his day and settle how he would refer to me from then on.

The next morning the Beckers arrived just after the crack of dawn, at least it seemed that way to the rest of us. They didn’t come empty handed, however, and brought in several bags of goodies with them. Mrs. Becker went straight to the kitchen and announced she’d be preparing breakfast for everyone. I knew it would be useless to argue, so I just asked her if she minded if I helped. She agreed and put me to work for her.

In one of her bags, she had me get out a container of last summer’s homemade apple butter, straight from her freezer, and several jars of homemade jams she had prepared herself. She explained she had brought one container each of strawberry, blueberry, currant and grape jam, because she wasn’t sure what the boys and I preferred. I thanked her for her consideration and set the items on the dining room table, so the boys could use them on their toast later.

From the next bag she pulled out a package containing ham slices, another containing strips of bacon and then an assortment of potatoes, which she quickly began to cut up for home fries. The third bag contained cartons filled with eggs from their chickens and she set these out on the counter, until she learned how the boys wanted their eggs done. As the ham, bacon and home fries began to cook and the smells wafted through the house, the boys began to emerge from their rooms, drawn by the wonderful smells and driven by their rumbling stomachs.

Mrs. Becker cooked their eggs to order and was very generous with the ham, bacon and home fries. I kept busy throwing eight slices of bread at a time into our two four-slice toasters, before buttering and taking them out to the troops. The toast disappeared as quickly as I could get the slices to the table and the jams were being applied generously before being consumed. Mrs. Becker seemed in her glory feeding all of the boys and watching them devour her creations, but then she made me go sit down too and made certain I had all I could hold. Finally she and her husband joined us at the table, since they waited to be the last two to sit down to eat, and I watched as Richard got up from his place and moved over to stand between them, talking and laughing with them while they ate. I could recognize this was a sincere gesture on his part and not just an attempt at sucking-up to his possible ‘rents, and seeing his affection for them touched me deeply.

After breakfast, the Beckers asked Richard if he would like them to take him to their farm today, and then they could spend the weekend there. Richard seemed excited by the idea, but he looked at me, wondering what he should do. I think he was afraid he’d hurt our feeling if they left and probably suspected I had plans for us all, which I did, but nothing that couldn’t be put off until another time.

“Uncle Pop, do you think it would be all right if I went to their farm?” he asked me, in order to give me a say in the situation.

“I certainly do,” I quickly responded, “and it will be a great opportunity for all of you to get to know each other even better. You run along and have a good time, and the boys and I will clean up here.” Richard ran over to give me a hug and say good-bye, before he did the same with all of the boys. It seemed as if he gave Ricky a very special hug too, before he and the Beckers went out and got in their car and drove off. Mr. Becker had informed me he would bring Richard back fairly early Sunday evening, so they could get back home by dark. I said that would be fine and waved at them as they drove off.

That altered our weekend plans, at least as far as the activities I had planned to accommodate Richard and the Beckers. However, it worked out to our advantage. Now, the boys and I could take it easy for the rest of the day and could spend our time preparing for Dustin’s birthday party tomorrow, which we had planned to kick off with dinner tomorrow evening. He was turning eighteen and would be heading off to college in the fall, so it was a very important event, at least in my eyes.

The rest of Saturday turned out to be just another normal time for us and there was nothing remarkable about it. The boys and I merely kicked back and concentrated on things we hadn’t been able to deal with while everything else was going on, as well as our upcoming event. As it turned out, it proved to be a very productive time for us, so I guess change isn’t always so bad after all.