The Castaway Hotel - 5 - 6. Chapter 6 - From The Brink Of Madness

Suddenly I felt ill. What kind of madness was this? Could what I’d just seen really be happening? I collapsed against the sofa and continued to stare at the television screen, wondering what sort of sick mind could plan such brutal and senseless acts. How many people died when that plane was flown into the tower, and worse yet, how many people had died in the other Tower or at the Pentagon?

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I actually knew a couple of people who worked at the World Trade Center and I suddenly feared for their safety. At that moment, I didn’t know what to do next. I was stunned, shocked and completely unable to move. I was sickened by what I saw, yet felt compelled to keep watching it. Was this sick, or was my morbid fascination merely the result of being unable to comprehend what had just taken place? No matter what the cause, I stayed riveted to the T.V. and wondered what was going to happen next.

As I contemplated the horrific events of the past hour or so, I couldn’t help thinking about what the final moments must have been like for the people on those planes. Did they know they were going to die or did they believe they were just being kidnapped and would be held for ransom? That’s when I began to wonder what I would have done or thought about just before it happened, if I’d been on one of those planes. Once I had pondered those thoughts for a few minutes, I began to wonder if the people in any of the buildings saw the planes coming at them, and if they had, I could just imagine their panic as they instinctively tried to get out of harm’s way.

The reporters had been telling about these intentional acts of terror, when it was announced that another plane had crashed into a field in Pennsylvania, just outside of Shanksville, in Somerset County. That’s less than 80 miles from us, as the crow flies, but far too close for my comfort. None of the various news agencies had much information about this crash, so we didn’t know at the time if it was related or merely a coincidence. Regardless of the reason for why it happened, it was a fourth plane down this morning. Could this get any more horrific?

I continued to listen to the announcer and watched the scenes happening before my eyes, when I realized there were people jumping to their death from windows and the rooftops of the towers. Oh God! What kind of desperation would lead a person to do that? Had it come down to a choice between burning to death or leaping to your doom? I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be placed in such a position. Had the world finally gone insane?

I certainly hoped not, but who knew what might possibly happen next. Would there be more acts like this or had the terror finally ended? Would we seek to understand and heal, or would those in power seek to retaliate and add to the death and destruction?

My thoughts now drifted to how I was going to deal with the boys concerns about these events, because I was certain they’d either know what happened by the time they got home or would see it on the news, when the networks replayed the horrors of the day. This was too big an event to keep word of it from spreading like wildfire through the halls of the schools, so I also wondered how much they’d already know, how much of the truth had been distorted by rumors and what their reactions were going to be when they returned home. Hell, some of the students even carried their cell phones to classes, so I was fairly certain their friends or family would have called and told them what had happened. After that, the rumors and speculation would have begun and God only knows how badly the truth would have been distorted after that.

For the next hour, I wrestled with how I was going to answer their questions, because none of their queries would be easy to respond to or have simple answers. The boys were certainly going to want to know WHY this happened or WHO was responsible? Then they would want to know if even more events like this were going to happen or if even worse things would follow? How could I possibly reassure them the world was still a safe and sane place to live?

I was still pondering all of these considerations when my attention was drawn away again, when the first tower collapsed. My God! How could that happen? Weren’t we told that these towers had been specifically designed to prevent something like that from happening? Weren’t there people still trapped inside? This was becoming a total nightmare. What was the death toll up to now?

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the second tower collapsed and then several of the smaller buildings around where the Twin Towers had once stood began to cave in, as a result of the shock waves caused by the two towers coming down.

For the next few minutes, I listened to the stunned witnesses and watched the video replays over and over again, but it still seemed too surreal to be believed. Both towers were now gone, as well as many of the surrounding structures. Not only that, but a part of the Pentagon had been blown away and another plane had crashed into a rural field. This was more than any rational person could deal with! It was impossible that all of these events were separate accidents and happened today purely by coincidence. This must have been planned, and by a fairly large and financially lucrative group too.

Many reporters and government officials were speculating about which groups might have been able to pull off such a well-executed series of events when the name Osama Bin Laden was first uttered. I’d never heard of him and couldn’t understand his cause, so all I could do was wonder how anyone could believe such indescribable acts of horror would serve any purpose. Was this meant to help them attain some goal or gain them something they desired? Or was this meant purely as an act of horror, to shock America and possibly bring it to its knees?

I spent the rest of the day watching what was going on across the country and listening to the reports. After listening to reporters speaking with a few of the relatives of those on board the plane that crashed into the field in Pennsylvania, it was now being speculated that this was the direct result of some of the passengers attempting to keep their flight from being used to carry out another devastating crash, such as into the White House or Capitol building. Yes, this was definitely beginning to look like some sort of well planned and well orchestrated perversion, but all it did was raise many questions in my mind, beginning with what this world was coming to? How could anyone justify killing innocent bystanders for any reason? If some religious group had carried this out, as was the current speculation, how could they think their God would approve of these mass murders? I know history is full of dreadful deeds done in the name of God and in the service of their religion, but in this day and age it just didn’t seem possible. Hadn’t civilization progressed beyond such indescribable abominations?

By the time the boys got home, they had all heard about what had been going on. Some had even seen a few of the events on television in some of their classrooms, as the channels kept running the tapes of the day’s events over and over again. The boys were all talking excitedly about what had taken place and tried desperately to make some sense out of it, just like the rest of us. Unfortunately, they were doing no better at this task than anyone else, so this whole series of events remained an enigma.

Jake arrived home shortly after the boys did, so we decided to talk about everything that had happened over dinner. As it worked out, I was glad we did. The boys were full of questions and offered many observations of their own, some of which I had failed to make myself. The older ones seemed to be focused upon looking for an explanation of the reasons for these attacks, but they also began to wonder if there would be a war and if some of them might eventually be called on to fight in it. I found this a chilling thought, not so much because I didn’t want them to defend their country, but because I had just lost one son and wasn’t sure I could cope with losing another. However, I quickly forced those thoughts aside and chose to concentrate on what some of my other sons had to offer.

The boys in the middle, age-wise, were more concerned with the physical damage that happened, such as the collapse of the buildings and crashing of the planes, and consumed with the overall destruction and death count. The younger ones, however, seemed consumed with how the children of those who died would be feeling tonight, after having lost one or both of their parents. They were also thinking about the time, not that long ago, that we had been on the observation deck of one of those Towers and wondered how many others had been there this morning, when all this went down. The boys also couldn’t help but dwell upon the idea of something like that happening when we had been there. This was indeed a very frightening thought for them, and one I tried to guide their conversation away from quickly, by explaining that it was very early to have visitors on the observation deck, but since it was a school day as well, I doubted there would have been any children there either.

The boys and I continued to discuss all of these issues thoroughly, although we couldn’t bring any sense of closure about why this had happened. I also wasn’t able to adequately respond to a great many of the questions and issues they raised, but we did spend many more minutes at the table discussing the multitude of topics that were troubling them.

That evening my college boys called home as well, as they sought comfort by knowing the members of their own family were safe from harm. I talked to each of them for quite a long time, while trying to address their concerns. Once we had finished our conversations, they followed up by speaking directly with some of their brothers, to make sure they were also doing all right. Once they’d finished chatting with their brothers, I spoke to them again, briefly, before we ended the call. Their final concern seemed to be if I thought they should come home or stay at school.

I didn’t hesitate before I advised them to stay at school and continue on, as best they could. I also told them not to hesitate to call if they had any other problems, but for now, I didn’t see any reason for them to return home and delay their studies. Besides, I felt each college would offer programs and support groups to help them work through any repercussions they felt from having experienced or witnessed this tragedy.

Both Dustin and Frankie eventually agreed to do as I suggested, but each wanted to know what else they might be able to do to help out in some way. I suggested a few possibilities, like taking collections up for the families of the victims and rescue workers who had suffered so greatly, or even getting their friends and classmates to donate blood for the surviving firefighters and others who had been injured that day. They both said they would work with their roommates to see if they could get some of these ideas off the ground with the campus community, and then we said good-bye. I think they both felt better afterward and I was a little relieved to have heard from them as well.

When bedtime rolled around, all of the boys said a special prayer for the victims and their families, and then they asked God to make sure those who had planned this would eventually be brought to justice. We all needed to believe these cowards would someday answer to God for their actions, even if men were unable to bring them to trial and make them pay for what they had done. This did bring a little reassurance to the boys, although it didn’t lessen the horror of what had happened. That night many of the boys slept very tightly against one of the others, since they didn’t want to be alone. Human security blankets do bring a certain amount of relief to frightened individuals and there was plenty of proof of that in our home during that evening. I would venture a guess that not everyone slept well that night, as I did hear more walking around upstairs during the evening than was typical, but they still came down to breakfast acting fairly normal the next day.

Over the next twenty to forty minutes, I turned down several requests to be allowed to stay home for the day, so they could continue to watch what was happening on the television. However, I felt it would be best if we tried to keep things as normal as possible, so everyone went to school as usual.

Once the boys left, I spent much of my day tuned in to what was going on, by watching the rescue efforts, listening to the speculation about what person or group had arranged this and listening to the President and Mayor give their reassurances that those responsible would be caught and made to pay for what they had done. Those in power also attempted to reassure us the country would rise up from this abomination and become even stronger because of it, and I think we all wanted to believe what they said. Not only that, but we also wanted to think it would happen just as they promised and quickly. The problem was, we all secretly knew the reality of carrying out these guarantees would take a great deal of time, huge amounts of money, large amounts of energy, both natural and human, and possibly cost the lives of numerous service men in the process, to insure those promises come true. My next thought was that there was no longer a period of childhood that could even vaguely be referred to as the age of innocence, since any child old enough to walk had surely seen images of the atrocities our country had just endured.

I really wanted to donate blood too, but I couldn’t, due to my recent health problems. Jake told me before he left that he was going to go to the Red Cross center to donate, and Danny, Kevin and Brandon all announced they were planning on making their first donation after school. I was proud each of them would do something so unselfish, but unfortunately I had to inform each of them they wouldn’t qualify as blood donors. When they asked why, I told them that anyone who’d had sex with another male at any point since 1980 was ineligible, as this was one of the precautions the Red Cross was taking in order to limit the spread of the H.I.V. virus. All of them were disappointed, but understood the Red Cross’ intentions, so we moved on to other ways they might help, such as taking up collections, which could then be passed on to the groups established to help the victims or their survivors.

As the rest of the week passed and we drew closer to the weekend and Andrew’s party, I had to make a decision. Some of the family had urged me to cancel his party and put it off until things calmed down, but I wasn’t so certain it would be the right move. First of all, I didn’t think any of this would calm down right away, but even if it should, I wanted to keep things as normal for the family as possible. Besides, it would be grossly unfair to Andrew to have to wait, since he had been eagerly looking forward to this time. I decided to talk it over with him and we agreed to go ahead with our plans, although Andrew suggested it might be appropriate for us take a moment during the party to remember those who had died or been hurt during those horrific events. I thought that was a good idea, so we would incorporate it in our plans.

When the weekend arrived, true to my word, Andrew got to spend Friday night alone with Graham to explore his other interests. I was actually quite pleased that he had chosen Graham to be his first, for several reasons. First, I thought it would be best if his first sexual encounter wasn’t with his biological brother, who had just become involved in sex himself. Second, I was afraid if he had chosen Nick, Nick might try to go too fast for him or push him into things before he was actually ready. Third, I knew Graham wasn’t really into anal sex yet, so I didn’t feel I had to worry about that happening either. Besides Graham was also small for his age, uncircumcised like Andrew, low-key, and easy-going. It was a perfect match for a first-time experience.

Even though Andrew had requested this, it didn’t prevent him from being extremely shy and not understanding how he should react, once they were alone. Seeing Andrew’s confusion, Graham took charge and handled him very gently. He began by slowly undressing Andrew, while making sure to stimulate each of the special, sensitive areas of Andrew’s body as he did so. Once this had been accomplished, he then led Andrew over to the bed and placed him on top of the covers, while Andrew merely lay there, in sort of a daze.

With Andrew in position, Graham quickly removed all his own clothing too, while trying to give Andrew a special little show as he did so. Once he was naked, Graham crawled on the bed beside his young partner and began by kissing Andrew on the forehead, before working his way down his nose, until he reached his lips. At that point, Graham began to run his tongue over and around the younger boy’s mouth, but Andrew remained motionless, since he was unsure as to how he was to respond. Andrew let his older partner do whatever he wanted, so when Graham’s tongue snaked out of his mouth, Andrew instinctively parted his own lips and accepted Graham’s probing muscle.

While Graham was working his magic with his mouth, his hand was reaching down to fondle Andrew’s tiny testicles and penis, and it only took a few seconds before his little boy’s sex organ was standing tall and proud. Graham thought that was more than sufficient indication to verify that Andrew was old enough to enjoy this activity, and indeed he was.

All of this action was causing Andrew to begin to moan, and then finally react to all of the pleasurable sensations that were now starting to sweep over his immature body. As Graham fingers began to probe and manipulate Andrews little nail, Andrew began to thrust his pelvis into Graham’s hand, in an effort to increase his pleasure. Although Graham believed this meant Andrew was beginning to enjoy himself and get into the mood, Graham slowly pulled his mouth away from Andrew’s lips, so he could find out for sure.

“How does it feel? Do you like it?” Graham asked him.

Andrew didn’t respond right away and it took a few seconds for him to collect his senses, so he could reply. “Oh, yeah,” he gasped. “It feels really good. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” Graham told him, “I just wanted to make sure you were still okay with this.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m really okay with this,” Andrew assured him.

That was all the encouragement Graham needed, so he went back to kissing the smaller boy, while he used two of his fingers and his thumb to pump his partner’s small tool. Slowly, he slid the foreskin back and forth over Andrew’s sensitive head, but he was wise enough not to expose it completely, as he wasn’t sure if Andrew was capable of doing that yet. If he tried to force the issue before Andrew’s foreskin was ready to be skinned all the way back, he could damaged the tissue and cause Andrew some pain, and Graham certainly didn’t want to do that. Graham was also uncertain if that area might also be too sensitive to take any extra stimulation, without it becoming painful, and above all else, Graham wanted this to be pleasurable for his little brother.

Andrew was already becoming lost in the incredible pleasure literally shooting around his body. It was almost as if little jolts of electricity where shooting through the various regions of his body and causing his entire being to tingle. Not only that, but his head was flooded with the multitude of signals reaching his brain, which caused his eyes to experience bursts of light and color, as a result of this sensory overload. Overwhelmed by these new sensations, Andrew closed his eyes tightly, in hopes that this might allow him to focus on one set of feelings over another, but to no avail. He was still unable to block out all the competing sensations and bask solely in the wonderful new feelings radiating from his loins.

Even though Andrew’s body never seemed to stiffen or signal a climax, his small frame did shudder briefly, before he went totally limp and slowly slipped into a normal breathing pattern again. Graham felt that this meant Andrew had just enjoyed his first dry orgasm and Graham couldn’t wait to see what he thought of it. While he waited for Andrew to recover from this experience, Graham continued to massage Andrew’s tiny sac and testicles, until Andrew reached down and stopped him from doing so. Andrew quickly let Graham know he had reached a point of over-stimulation and the attention was becoming slightly painful.

Graham was smart enough to realize that too much of a good thing wasn’t always good, so he released Andrew’s sex organs and then waited for him to indicate he was ready to continue. After a short rest, Graham finally asked Andrew if he wanted to try doing any of those things to him, and Andrew eagerly jumped at the chance to touch the older boy’s privates.

Graham gave Andrew instructions about what he could do and how to do it, and Andrew proved to be a very capable student. The younger boy did everything he was told, while exhibiting an abundance of enthusiasm, and when the time came, he eagerly wrapped his small hand around Graham’s stiff cock and pumped away on it. Although he was having a great time jacking his older brother off, he was totally shocked when Graham ejaculated, since he had no idea that was going to happen. After asking questions about what the white stuff was, why it came out of Graham’s penis and when he’d be able to shoot cum too, Andrew’s first lesson was over.

Eventually, Graham cleaned himself up and then cuddled up next to Andrew, and that’s exactly how I discovered them, when I went to check on them later. They were asleep, but their faces still seemed to be glowing, so I knew Andrew’s first experience had been a positive one.