The Castaway Hotel - 5 - 28. Chapter 28 - A Storm Is Brewing

Graham was caught in a really awkward situation now. He didn’t understanding his brother’s intense reaction and, therefore, wasn’t sure if he dared to utter his own feelings about this matter. I could see he was really struggling with this, so I butted in and took him off the hook.

“Don’t worry about that just yet,” I suggested. “I told your mother I wouldn’t give you boys up without a fight, so right now all she wants to do is see you again. Would you be willing to at least meet with her and hear her out?”

“No way, no how!” Cole announced, glaring at me for emphasis as he said this.

“She says she’s changed,” I informed him, “and she told me she’s been clean and sober for over a year now.”

“I wouldn’t care if she were a rock star now,” Cole challenged. “I still wouldn’t want to see her again.”

“And you don’t think you’ll change your mind about this?” I pressed.

“Never!” he shouted back.

“What about Graham?” I followed, knowing that I had to help Graham out with this. “Are you going to try to stop him from seeing her too, if he wants to?”

“He can do whatever the hell he wants, as long as I don’t have to be a part of it,” Cole stated, with a little less venom that he had used in his previous comments.

“And you won’t change how you feel about him or how you act toward him?” I pushed, to clarify Cole’s position for his brother.

“No, I’ll always love Graham, no matter what he decides,” Cole admitted in a soothing tone, while glancing at his brother. “I’d just convinced myself a long time ago that she was dead, so I’m not going to have her come back now and change that.”

Graham looked relieved when he heard his brother admit that he didn’t mind if he saw his mother and I think he felt better to know that he wouldn’t have to change how he felt about her, just to please Cole. Now that I knew how Cole felt, I turned to face Graham, to see what he wanted to do. “Well, she’s going to call back a little later, so what do you want me to tell her, Graham?”

He thought for a minute, before he responded. As he did so, he continually alternated between looking at his brother and me, as if he were waiting for one of us to give him our approval. I think Cole sensed this too, so he tried to help him out. “Go ahead and see her, if that’s what you want,” he urged. “You won’t hurt my feelings if you do, it’s just that I won’t be going with you.”

“Are you sure?” Graham asked, still uncertain of Cole’s true feelings about his intentions. I could tell he really wanted to be certain his decision wouldn’t damage their relationship in the future.

“Yes, I’m very sure,” Cole replied, convincingly. “I know you don’t remember what it was like back then, and that’s probably because you were too little, and maybe I’d feel the same way as you do if I’d been younger too. The difference is, I do remember what it was REALLY like. I can still remember that she never spent any time with us, not even to fix meals, and I never felt she loved or wanted either of us. I just can’t forget that, and I won’t either, but I also won’t stop you from seeing her and making up your own mind about her now.”

“Thanks, Cole,” Graham told him, somewhat cheerfully, before moving over to give his brother a hug. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about her more and more as I get older, and I guess I’ve kind of pictured her coming back and telling us she loved us and that she was sorry for what she had done. I just want to see if she’ll really do that. Is that okay with you?”

“Whatever you want is okay with me,” Cole agreed, while smiling at Graham. “In fact, if you don’t want to be alone with her, I’ll go with you, but I just won’t talk to her or anything.”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” Graham conceded. I was convinced he responded in that manner because he didn’t want to press his luck any further than he already had. “I’m sure Dad will be with me when I meet her, won’t you, Dad?” Now, he turned in my direction and stared at me, to make sure this was the way it would be.

“Of course I’ll be with you, if that’s what you want,” I agreed, trying to ease his concerns. “We can even have her come to the house, if that would make you feel better. She knows where we live, and then you can feel totally safe, because you know we’ll all be here for you then. How does that sound to you?”

“Perfect,” he announced, while flashing me his special smile. “Just let me know when it will be.”

“I will,” I told him, and then I sent him out of the room, so I could speak with Cole alone.

“You know, you don’t have to go anywhere with her,” I announced, once Graham had shut the door. “You could just meet her here and tell her how you feel. It might help if you say those things to her too, so she knows how you feel about her suddenly showing up again.”

Cole now looked at me, as if I’d lost the rest of my marbles, but then he responded to what I had said. “You WANT me to meet with her and tell her off?”

“No, that’s not exactly what I meant,” I clarified. “What I want is for you to do whatever it is that would make you feel better about everything and help you put this behind you.”

“So you really think I should meet with her,” he reiterated, “just so I can tell her I hate her and never want to see her again?”

“Well, I think she should know how you feel and hear it directly from you, and not from Graham or me,” I explained. “I’m not sure she’s going to believe either of us, even if we tried to relay your message.”

Cole looked at his lap for a few seconds, while he thought things over. Once he had made up his mind, he looked up at me again. “Okay, I’ll meet with her and tell her what I feel,” he agreed, “but don’t expect me to be nice about it.”

“I won’t, but I think this will be good for you too,” I explained. “It will give you a chance to get this off your chest and out in the open.”

Even though he still looked at me strangely, I pulled him over and gave him a hug before he left the room. I felt I needed to do that to let him know I still loved him and wasn’t trying to get rid of him, before he went out to tell Graham about his modified decision.

I think Graham was happy when he learned that Cole would be there with him, even if he was probably going to end up screaming at their mother, but the three of them would be together again, even if it wasn’t on the best of terms. I was happy that Graham seemed pleased about his brother’s change of heart, while at the same time being hopeful that Graham wasn’t reading more into Cole’s reversal than was actually there.

As I continued watching the boys, I noticed them beginning to move about the house, so they could inform the rest of their brothers about this new development. This news sent a shockwave of concern throughout the ranks, as the boys now began to wonder if she might really try to take their brothers away. When they came to me about this, I told everyone not to worry about such things. I assured them we wouldn’t give up without a fight and we’d handle this as a family and do whatever was best for everyone.

My answer seemed to relieve some of the tension that had built up since everyone found out about Ms. Van Cott’s reemergence, and I think some of them hoped she might disappear and not call or come back again. However, they were all jerked back to reality when the phone rang. It was indeed the boys’ mother, and I explained the boys had agreed to meet with her, although she might not get the reception she was hoping for. She said she understood and thanked me for allowing this to happen, before we arranged for her to come back to the house the following afternoon, to meet with her sons after they returned home from school.

Once the boys went to bed, Jake and I sat down and discussed the matter at great length, because I wanted his input before anything else happened. I hadn’t been able to do this earlier, since he had to work late, but I thought he might have a slightly different perspective about this, especially since something similar might happen in the future between his ex and Shannon. I wanted to see if he had any ideas I might have overlooked or failed to consider.

During our conversation, Jake brought up something I hadn’t thought of. He suggested he was concerned that she might decide it would be easier to just kidnap the boys and take off with them. However, after I explained how adamant Cole was about how he felt, we concluded there was no way she could physically overpower him and take him against his will. Graham, however, was a totally different situation.

Jake also told me he thought I was right to ask the boys if THEY wanted to see her first, rather than making that decision for them, and he was glad to hear the meeting would also take place at the house. I told him I was a little concerned about how Cole might respond to being around her, but Jake told me to just let the chips fall where they may. He said the only way she’d be convinced that he didn’t want to go with her would be if she saw it for herself, so he told me to just go with the flow and not try to stifle his anger. I told him that’s what I was planning to do, but I wasn’t looking forward to what I knew was going to be an extremely tense, and possibly hostile, reunion.

The next day, while the boys were at school, I called my friend Steve (Judge Shay), to see where I stood legally. Although I knew he was firmly in my corner, he explained that in recent times various courts had ruled in favor of the biological parents and tried to keep them united with their children. He also explained her claims that she might not have fully understood her rights, since she was using drugs and/or alcohol, had some legal justification. He informed me that a person under the influence cannot legally enter into a contract and be judged to have been of sound mind at that time, so she might be able to use that to her advantage.

Not only that, but he also reminded me he would have to recuse himself, if this case were assigned to his court, but he would be happy to represent our interests as our attorney. I thanked him for his offer and insight, although I was more nervous now, after hearing what he had to say. Somehow, I now had to prepare myself for what might happen during our afternoon encounter.

The boys arrived home first and immediately went into the living room to wait until she arrived. When the doorbell rang, they both walked out to join me, as I opened the door, but Graham moved a little more quickly in doing so than his brother. When I opened the door, she was standing on the other side, but she looked a little different than she had at our initial encounter. She had obviously had her hair done in the interim and used some make-up, but she also wore a much nicer outfit than she had the previous day.

After inviting her in, I noticed she froze momentarily while staring at the boys. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but I was convinced they must look different than she had pictured. Once she got over this initial shock, I lead her into the living room again and asked her if she wanted a drink. She said something cold would be nice, so I sent the boys out to get us all a drink, while she and I went in and got comfortable.

“I can’t believe how much they’ve grown and changed,” she told me, nervously, expressing the shock that caused her to stand transfixed before crossing our threshold.

“Well, it has been about four years since you last saw them,” I replied, while delivering a jab of my own. “They aren’t little boys any more. Cole is sixteen and Graham is fifteen now.”

“And they’re both very fine looking young men,” she gushed, obviously pleased by what she saw. “I knew they’d be older, but I guess I hadn’t considered how much they might have grown or changed.”

“Well, you may be in for some other surprises too,” I announced dryly, in a not so veiled warning.

“I suppose you’re right,” she agreed, before we were interrupted. At that moment the boys reentered the room, this time with each of them carrying two glasses of lemonade. Graham had one for his mother and himself, while Cole had his and one for me. We accepted our drinks and took a sip, before I cleared my throat and got the discussion started.

“All right, who wants to begin?” I asked, looking from one to the other.

“May I,” their mother asked, while glancing between her two sons. They both nodded, so she continued. “I’m not sure what you boys think of me any more, and I know I don’t have any legal claims to you, but I’d really like for us to become a family again, so I can make up for what I did in the past.” Now she looked at them, waiting for their response.

“It won’t ever happen,” Cole announced, defiantly. “We have a new home, with a new dad, and there’s no place in it for you.” Now, he stared at her, while also noticing the anguish on her face.

“I was hoping you’d be more excited than this, about seeing me again,” she told him, while not hiding her disappointment. It was very apparent that she had been hurt deeply by Cole’s last comment.

“Well, Graham may be, but I’m definitely not,” he clarified. “Why should I be? What did you ever do for me that would make me want you back in my life? Unless you think leaving us like that, without food or anything, would make me love you more.”

By this point, his mother was in tears, totally shocked by how harshly Cole was speaking to her. I guess this was one reaction she hadn’t anticipated, at least not this quickly or strongly. Graham did make a move to get closer to her and then began to rub her back, as his way of trying to make her feel better, but Cole just sat passively by, not caring that his comments had wounded her. After she calmed down, she looked up at him, and then she tried to explain things a little more clearly.

“Look, I know I did some bad things in the past,” she confirmed, “but it was only because I wasn’t thinking straight. I was too consumed by all the booze and drugs.” She didn’t have time to say more, since Cole interrupted her.

“And you couldn’t have been thinking straight when you decided to use those either,” he spat out, very coldly. “No one made you do any of those things, you chose to do that too, because you thought they were more important than we were. And if it wasn’t those things, it was your current boyfriend, whoever he might be. Graham might not remember those times, but I do, and I won’t forgive you for what you did to us. You knew what you were doing and you just didn’t care.”

“You’re wrong! I did care!” she challenged, very strongly.

“Well, then you couldn’t have cared very much,” he contradicted. “Did you leave us all alone or didn’t you? Did you leave us any food when you took off or didn’t you? Did you have anyone checking on us or didn’t you? You didn’t do any of those things, so how can you tell us now you cared? Until we came here to live, we didn’t even know what it was like for someone to love us and do things just for us. If we know anything about love and caring now, it isn’t because you taught us those things, it’s because Dad showed us what they mean.”

She was sobbing hysterically now, not just crying, because she now knew the extent of Cole’s scorn for her. However, he made no move to soften anything he’d said, by either saying something else or touching her physically, so she finally got up and prepared to leave.

“I’m sorry, maybe I should go now,” she choked out. “I can see this isn’t the time to bring these issues up, so I’ll leave now.” After saying this, she turned and looked at me, while addressing her next comment for my benefit. “Thank you for letting me come and see them.”

As she walked out the door, Graham just sat there and watched her leave, and then looked over at Cole. I’m not sure he knew what he should do or even what he wanted to do, at that point, so he just sat motionless. I merely observed them, as they continued to stare at the door. I wasn’t sure if they were thinking about the way she left or if they were expecting her to return again, but after a few more awkward minutes of sitting like this, I got up, walked over to the picture window and looked out. I wanted to make sure she really did leave and wasn’t just standing on the stoop, waiting for someone to chase after her.

Once I had satisfied my curiosity, I went over and sat between the boys. It was obvious this was far from being settled.