The Castaway Hotel - 5 - 2. Chapter 2 - Stepping Up

It had now been a couple of weeks since the accident that took Brent from us and things were finally beginning to settle down at home. After making some very emotional decisions about moving on to college before I was home from the hospital, Dustin and Frankie somewhat reluctantly left to begin classes. They were even looking forward to beginning this new phase of their lives and making new friends, it was just difficult for them to do, since they were still concerned about my recovery. They had each thought about sitting out a semester or two, so they could be around to help out at home and make certain I was recovering, but that eventually changed. After having many conversations with Danny, Brandon and Jake, Jake was finally able to convince them that Danny, Brandon and he could handle things at home and the boys should not delay or pass up this opportunity. Although they agreed to move on with their lives, when they eventually did leave home, a part of them remained – the part that was worried about the family’s survival.

True to their promise, Danny and Brandon took charge of preparing meals, doing the shopping and made certain all the other menial tasks got done, like paying the bills. Seeing how much that pair was doing, the rest of the boys assumed responsibility for keeping the shared areas of the house clean and doing the yard work. The primary reason they all pitched in like this was because none of them wanted to burden Uncle Jake to the point where he didn’t want to be around any longer and began to look forward to finally being able to leave and move out on his own again. They wanted him to stick around, once I was back and able to carry on again, so they felt it would be best if they did most of the chores. Their goal was to do everything possible to make Uncle Jake want to stay there with us, which included remaining as my life’s partner. Regardless of their underlying intentions, I was glad to learn they were all chipping in and dividing up the additional workload.

Kevin would have probably done more to assist the others in these efforts, if he had not been dealing with so many personal issues at the same time. After all, he was among the oldest still at home and one of the three seniors, but the others were willing to take into account all he had been through and cut him some slack. This wasn’t because Kevin tried to get out of work, since he pitched in and took over various chores as well, but sometimes he would get distracted and his jobs would go unfinished. Whenever this happened, the others would just pick up where he left off and not make a big deal about it. Fortunately, everyone was empathetic about his loss, on top of everything else he’d had had to endure since he’d lived with us, but none more so than Danny and Brandon. They never put any pressure on Kevin to assume a larger share of the workload and were usually the ones who covered for him, so they others wouldn’t notice it as much.

Jake informed me later that he had been physically at the house the whole time, whenever he wasn’t at work, so no one could say there wasn’t an adult there taking care of my sons, but he confessed he didn’t feel he was much help to them. He said the boys proved to be very adept at taking care of the household and each other, so he hardly had to lift a finger to keep things running smoothly. He explained he was willing to do more to help out, but it seemed as if the boys didn’t want him to do anything, so he wouldn’t change his mind about staying with them. He promised me he’d never do that, but assumed it was what the boys feared and the reason they did everything for themselves.

Jake admitted that after watching how Danny and Brandon had jumped in and taken charge of most things, he didn’t want them to think he was butting in or hinting that he didn’t think they could handle it. Therefore, he let them do whatever they felt best, but he also let them know he was there to pick up the slack, if they should need his help. However, after seeing the extent of the duties I had overseen and the vast quantities of food that needed to be prepared, rooms to be cleaned and laundry to be done, he admitted he wasn’t sure he could have managed running the household on his own. He also made sure I knew how impressed he was with the older boys and how they took care of everything, but he was even more impressed by the way they helped the younger ones deal with their emotional issues throughout that time.

Jake explained, in poignant detail, how Danny and Brandon, as well as Dustin and Frankie before they left for college, had helped calm their younger siblings’ fears and continually reassured them everything would be fine. They kept telling the younger one I was getting better every day and would be with them again soon, but also reminded them that the family would never be split up. Danny and Brandon actually told the boys they’d help take care of them, with help from Uncle Jake, Uncle Steve, Aunt Mary and Aunt Sally, but they should know that none of the adults would ever let anyone split up the family.

Jake then went on to tell me how he often saw Danny and Brandon spending time with various individuals or working with small groups, answering their questions, listening to their concerns or helping them solve a problem, but he said the most memorable thing he saw was one night when he went up to check on everyone and found Sammy and Andrew cuddled up with Danny and Brandon on their bed. He said that he was touched by how the older pair was willing to give up their time alone to comfort their younger brothers, which seemed much more important to them then being intimate with each other.

Jake assured me that Shannon was also doing what he could to help out and usually spent his time with the boys closer to his own age, doing whatever he could to help maintain a normal atmosphere. He and Nick seemed to hit it off almost immediately, although I was concerned that might just be another of Nick’s conquests, but Shannon had also became close with Trey and Dion as well. Jake told me that Shannon and Pat had also hit it off, which surprised me a little. Ever since Pat had temporarily lost his eyesight, he had become much more independent, possibly as a result of having to rely on others so much during the time he was without his vision. Pat wasn’t going out of his way to shun anyone’s attention or company, but he fiercely fought to retain the ability to look after himself, which I believe he felt was the most troubling part about being blind. The other major change in him since that time was that he also threw himself into his studies and academic pursuits, as it appeared he had decided to take advantage of his good eye for as long as it lasted.

The boys also made sure to put Jake in my room while I was in the hospital, but I think they had a hidden agenda for doing that. First, I think they felt that since he was the ranking adult in the home, he should stay in the master bedroom. However, I also believed they might have had an ulterior motive as well, and that was to get him used to sleeping in my room, so he would continue to stay there with me after I returned. After all, they had been trying to fix us up with each other for quite some time, and this wasn’t about to stop just because I had suffered a medical setback. They also made sure to talk to him about me, under the disguise of unburdening their souls, and filled Jake in about various things we had done together or reminisced about the occasions I had been there for them. In actuality, I believe they were trying to convince Jake what a terrific guy I was and what a great catch I’d be, if he didn’t think that already. Those little devils have no shame.

By the time my doctors decided to remove me from the drugs they had been using to keep me basically comatose so I could heal, I’d been in the hospital for nearly three full-weeks. The first time the boys saw me with my eyes open and alert, they acted as if they had just received that one, special Christmas present they had always dreamed of. Each group of visitors began to dance about excitedly, while they all talked to me simultaneously, and then they began to interrogate me about when I’d be coming home for good.

I must admit I had to fight the urge to join in their enthusiasm, as it was extremely contagious. Instead, I managed to keep myself from getting overly excited, which was actually more difficult than it sounds, since I was euphoric about seeing them all again, especially as happy as they appeared to be. However, I knew I couldn’t risk the chance of a relapse and ending up confined to the hospital for an even longer period of time, if something worse happened. Therefore, I managed to keep a grip on my emotions and just enjoyed our time together.

Before each group left the room, I made them promise not to tell the others about my change in condition, so they’d be just as excited and surprised when they entered for their visit. I knew it would be difficult for them to do this, especially since it didn’t seem as if anyone could wipe the smiles off of his face, but they promised to do their best not to give the secret away. For the most part it worked, as each set of boys seemed surprised, yet pleased, to see me propped up in bed and alert.

After their visit ended and Jake drove them home, I thought about how wonderful it had been to see them again and how I wanted to get back home with them full-time. In order to do that, I would have to follow my doctor’s orders and take special care of myself, not only now, but also in the future. I understood that meant I would have to get myself in better shape and maintain it, if I didn’t want to orphan the boys before they were grown and on their own.

Before their next visit to the hospital, the boys decided in advance that it might be best for all of us if we were able to spend a few minutes alone with each other, instead of always being in a group. With that in mind, they worked out a schedule at home and, one by one, came to see me. Most of them began their visit by asking me how I was doing or telling me how much they’d missed me, but then we’d quickly get into much more personal issues. I had to agree they had been correct about seeing me individually, as these visits were much more special than our earlier times together.

I think the two most poignant visits came from Kevin and Graham, which I probably should have expected. When Kevin came in to see me, I was surprised to see him smiling when he entered. Not only did I remember how difficult it had been for him to deal with Brent’s passing, but some of the other boys had also kept me informed about how withdrawn he had become afterward. When I asked him how he was doing, he only hesitated briefly and took a few deep breaths, before he began to tell me what I wanted to know.

“I still miss him, Dad. I really do and I probably always will,” he began, “but after Graham told me Brent didn’t suffer and was at peace with what happened, it made it easier for me to accept and go on too. Brent even told Graham he’d been watching over me and didn’t mind if I fell in love with someone else, because he wanted me to be happy.” After telling me this, I could see that Kevin had made huge strides in dealing with his loss.

“I don’t know if you know this,” Kevin continued, “but Graham told me that Brent said our last time together was wonderful and very special to him. That’s when I knew what Graham was telling me was the truth and he had actually communicated with Brent. No one else knew about that night, except the two of us and you, when I told you about it after he was killed.” At that moment I feared Kevin might slip back into his depression, as he momentarily dwelled on the fact that Brent was gone, but fortunately that didn’t happen.

“That night with him was very special to me too,” he added, “and something I will remember for as long as I live.” As he confirmed that for me, Kevin had this glow on his face, which lent more credence to his words. It wasn’t as if I didn’t believe him, but to shine outwardly as he temporarily revisited those wonderful moments, only proved to me the depth of his feelings.

After spending a few more moments thinking about their last evening together, Kevin refocused on me and continued our conversation. “I’m sure glad you’re doing better now,” he confessed, “because I don’t know if I would have handled losing you too. I may not tell you this often enough, Dad, but you mean so much to me. You’ve been there for me through some of the darkest periods of my life and you’ve helped me cope with things I probably couldn’t have handled without you being there for me. No matter how many bad things have happened in my life, they’ll never equal the most wonderful thing that ever happened for me, and that’s meeting you and becoming your son and part of this family. I love you, Dad, and I want you to be around until I’m old and gray too.”

Needless to say, I was quite choked up by his comment and it took a few seconds before I could say anything back to him. I think he understood what was happening and wasn’t bothered by the delay in my response, but once I collected my emotions, I spoke to him from the bottom of my heart. “Kevin, as much as I’d like to promise you that’s what will happen, we both know there is no way to know that for certain. Instead, I will promise you that for as long as I am on this earth I will do everything I can to be there for you, whenever you need me or in whatever other ways you want. I just have to disagree with you slightly on one point though…” I continued, but I when I noticed the sudden change in Kevin’s facial expression, it caused me to stop speaking for a moment. After thinking about it briefly, I think he was afraid about what I was going to disagree with. However, once I understood what was troubling him, I continued.

“Kevin, no matter what you think or say, I am the one who has been truly blessed,” I told him. “You have been a nearly continual ray of sunshine for me and we’ve always seemed to have this special bond with each other, possibly because of all of the difficult times we’ve shared. Even if I could go back and live my life over, I wouldn’t want to think of living it without you in it.”

“Even with all of my problems and the dark cloud that hangs over my head?” he teased.

“With all that and more,” I assured him. “Having you, and the rest of your brothers, in my life was responsible for reenergizing me and giving me a new incentive to go on. I’m just pleased I was able to be there for you during all the good times and the bad, and I hope that never changes.” We hugged after I finished telling him that and then Kevin gave me a kiss on the cheek, before he told me he was going to be fine and I was to hurry up and get well, so I could return home with him.

By the time Graham arrived to speak with me, I had heard so many positive things about him from the others that I’d began to look at him in a new light. His ability to communicate with Brent had seemed to put everyone at ease, by letting each of them know that death was not something to be feared or continually grieved over. It also seemed to reaffirm our faith in God and our belief in an afterlife, strengthening those concepts that we sometimes seemed to question when things didn’t go as we wished. As he walked toward me, I flashed him a huge grin and thanked him for passing along Brent’s message.

“I knew you heard me!” he exclaimed, sensing it was that news that had helped me recover more quickly. “It was even hard for me to believe, that I had actually communicated with him, but I knew you’d believe me, even if no one else did.” His smile spread from ear to ear and he seemed so proud and excited that I feared he might burst, and then he came over and gave me the biggest hug I had received thus far. As he was squeezing me around the neck, he suddenly pulled back, a look of concern now covering his face. I must have looked bewildered, for I actually was, but then he went on to explain.

“I wasn’t hurting you or making it hard for your heart to work, was I?” he asked, deeply concerned. Suddenly, I understood what was going through his mind, so I sought to ease his concerns. I smiled at him, pulled him down to me and then returned his hug.

“If anything,” I whispered in his ear, “that hug helped to heal my heart and make it work better.” After hearing that, he hugged me again, even harder this time than he had before. When he finally released me, he looked down at me and spoke again.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to come here every day, so I can hug you even more, if it will help you get back home sooner.” I was so touched by his comment that I responded by pulling his body against mine, so I could embrace him once more, while whispering words of gratitude as I did so.

After continuing our hug for a while longer, I told him how truly special he was and that God had chosen very wisely when he gave Graham this unique gift. We then discussed his special ability in more detail over the next several minutes, and then I tried to address his concerns about the burden it also thrust upon him. I’m not sure I ever appreciated how insightful he was prior to this time, or how philosophically he looked at certain issues, but I was deeply impressed that this young man seemed to possess a wisdom one would have thought impossible because of the learning difficulties he suffered from. As his visiting time began to run out, I promised him we’d discuss this further when I got home, and that seemed to satisfy him for the time being.

I think the doctor actually made me stay in the hospital longer than he would have any other patient, simply due to the fact that he feared the pressures at home were greater for me than his usual patients. However, what he didn’t understand was that the boys actually did more to eliminate the stress, than to add to it. I was finally able to convince my cardiac specialist that I’d recover faster at home with my loved ones around and got him to relent, so I was scheduled to return home, although it came with a long list of restrictions.

When Jake and the boys came for their next visit, they were overjoyed when I explained the doctor had agreed to let me come home the following morning. After asking me what I’d need for them to bring down or what I’d need when I got home, they also quizzed my doctor when he made his next rounds. They first inquired as to what I could and shouldn’t do, and once all their questions had been answered, they nearly bounced around the room. They appeared to be more excited about my return than even I was, and I didn’t think that was possible.

Jake, Kevin and Graham showed up at my room very early the following morning, and Jake told me he had to fight with the boys over whom could come with him. After many minutes of give and take, and Jake’s insistence that no more than two of them could accompany him, the other boys finally agreed Kevin and Graham should be the ones to go. However, the others made it clear they couldn’t wait to see me again, once I got home, but thought the other pair had earned the right to be there when I was released.

As he continued his story, Jake told me he had been awakened that morning between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m., by the sounds of the boys milling around the house. He said he wasn’t sure if they’d even slept that evening, since they were all walking on air knowing I’d be with them again soon. This information touched me deeply, as I realized how much the boys looked forward to my rejoining them.

Jake and the boys were already to take me out of there as soon as they arrived, but I had to explain that I couldn’t leave until the doctor made his final visit and gave me his final clearance. However, he wouldn’t be arriving at the hospital until at least 8:00, so they grudgingly acknowledged we’d have to wait a little longer, even though they didn’t want me to linger in this place for even a second longer than was absolutely necessary.

While we waited, Jake told me how the boys had tried to talk him in to bringing them down here, just as soon as he awoke. Jake was laughing as he told me how he had to explain to them that it was only five in the morning and the hospital wouldn’t release me that early. Besides, he also pointed out I was probably still asleep as well. After grudgingly conceding those points, the boys insisted they be here by no later than 7:00, because they wanted me home as quickly as could be arranged. Therefore, Jake led them out to the car a little after 6:30, but he intentionally drove slower than he normally would have, so they wouldn’t arrive too soon. However, they still walked through my doorway at precisely 7:00 a.m.

By the time doctor arrived, in was closer to 8:30. I had not only finished my breakfast, but had sat and watched the local and national morning news shows with the three who had come to pick me up. However, even after the doctor had confirmed I could return home, it took another forty or fifty minutes before I got my release from the business office and an orderly showed up with a wheelchair, to give me a ride down to the main entrance. Jake left when the orderly arrived, so he had the car waiting for me as soon as I was wheeled outside.

Oh, it felt sooooo good to get out in the fresh air again and be free of that sterile smelling environment, but I was even more pleased at how Kevin and Graham tried to help me get from the wheelchair to the front seat, almost pushing the orderly aside in the process so they could take care of me. It was constant little gestures like that, which only proved to me how much I was loved and needed.

As we approached the house and pulled into the driveway, I looked out the windshield and immediately spotted the banner welcoming me home. It was strung across the front porch, with a bunch of balloons tied to either side of it and attached to the columns supporting the porch roof. As the vehicle came to a stop, a wave of screaming young men came pouring out of the house, as they raced to greet me. I swear, if I didn’t already love them so much and wasn’t so damn proud of them already, that moment alone would have been enough to steal my heart forever.

I was so overwhelmed by their welcome that when I opened my mouth to speak, no words would come out. It must have made me look like a fish gulping in water to extract oxygen, but eventually I was able to find my tongue and thank them for the wonderful welcome. The boys were visibly excited, yet each of them made sure they didn’t jostle me and gave me plenty of room. They were also all talking at once and telling me how happy they were that I was back home.

After getting them calmed down sufficiently, I slowly made my way up the sidewalk and neared our front door. That’s when I discovered the giant homemade greeting card they had attached to the screen door, which announced, ‘Welcome Home, Dad/Pop.’ Seeing how much trouble the boys had gone to not only brought tears to my eyes, but it also created a humongous lump in my throat.

Once I finally got inside, I discovered my next surprise. Waiting for me in the living room was the rest of my family, both extended and honorary family, to give me their own welcome home wishes. For the rest of the day, everyone pampered me like a spoiled rich kid who thought the world revolved around his needs. Although their intentions were honorable, I felt very ill at ease from all of their pampering. I know they were merely doing what they thought was best for me, but it had always been my job to take care of everyone else and I was uncomfortable with this role reversal.

Sally must have sensed my discomfort, because she came over and whispered in my ear that I had earned this special treatment and should be gracious enough to accept it, at least until the doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I merely look up and smiled at her, while barely nodding my head in resignation, to let her know that I understood and appreciated her message.

As I moved into the living room, I suddenly became aware of a piece of furniture that had not been there before. It was a brand new recliner, complete with a giant red bow tied around it. It was then that I learned the boys had all dipped into their own money to get this for me. After thanking them for their thoughtfulness, I asked them how they had decided on this particular present. That’s when they admitted that they had been stumped as to what to get me, although they wanted it to be something special – something I’d use and enjoy, so that’s when Jake offered the suggestion, after getting ideas from my cardiologist, and then helped them pick it out. They immediately had me sit in it, to see if I liked it, which I assured them I did.

At that point, Jake made sure to also let me know that our last golf outing had convinced him this was the most appropriate gift I could received, after he thought back and remembered how sore I’d been when I got home. I didn’t understand what he was getting at, until Andrew flipped and started the chair vibrating beneath me. It was a massaging recliner! Jake also told me the boys wouldn’t accept any of his money, since they wanted this to be just from them, so I thanked them all and relaxed in my new favorite chair.

Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary, my daughters and daughter-in-law had conspired to whip up a big meal for everyone, and even made a special meal for me, which conformed to my doctor’s orders. Since they didn’t want to feel left out, the Spences provided several different desserts, including a special treat for me, which again met my dietary restrictions. It was a very good meal, even though mine was a little on the bland side, but I had a wonderful time and was grateful that everyone had shown up to see me.

Those living locally left fairly early, after explaining I needed to rest and take it easy and they didn’t want to wear me out on my first day home. They did promise to visit me again soon and I thanked them for everything they had done, before telling them how much I loved each of them.

My older children and grandchildren were going to be staying over for a few days, but they all took it easy on me too. My grandchildren took turns sitting with papa on his new chair, and I think they got a kick out of the way it vibrated beneath us, but they remained quite calm while we watched television or videos together.

When it came time for us to go to bed, Jake told me he was going to spend the evening with Shannon, on the sleeper sofa in the living room, and the other boys had already teamed up with their brothers to open up rooms for their older siblings. I did overhear some of the boys telling Jake he should stay in my room, so he could keep an eye on me, especially if I needed anything during the night, but Jake assured them he was concerned about what my older children might think. The boys then explained they had already told them he had been staying at the house and taking care of them and would be remaining until I got better, but Jake told them he could hear me from the living room, if I should need him later. The boys weren’t thrilled with that decision, but let the subject drop, as they didn’t want to start a commotion and get me excited.

However, that situation quickly changed, once my older children returned to their homes, and Jake showed no signs of feeling out of place sharing my room with me after that. I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed feeling him beside me, since it felt like he’d always been by my side and belonged there. From that moment on, I knew Jake was going to become a permanent fixture in our lives and he and Shannon had become more than just extended family. Whether the boys realized it at that time or not, it was obvious their matchmaking efforts would have a lasting impact.