The G. M. Os. - 14. Chapter 14 - The Bot Way

Chapter 14
Ship Clock 262195
Jacko 09-325e
The Bot Way

Jacko came out of the shower and started to dry himself. Another day, another fifty credits, in thirty days he’d have fifteen hundred credits in his account. Rent was four hundred fifty credits; electric service shot away a clean hundred; water ran seventy-five on good months, a hundred on bad months, so he put away a hundred; public transport cost a solid hundred fifty because not only did he have to use it to get to the office, but he had to ride from there to whatever park he was assigned; the beer tab usually ran around two hundred fifty; a girl cost five hundred a night; leaving him with fifty debits before he had to pay for food, which is one reason he stopped off at the mission in the morning for breakfast, the soup kitchen for lunch, and if he was lucky, he would win a few games of dice and be able to buy a sandwich at Ernesto’s, if not, he wouldn’t drink for a couple days and that made him grumpy. He was grumpy now because he it was five days since he had a beer.

He picked up his dark green coveralls and looked at the Parks Department logo. Why work there? He wanted to get on at a golf course, but you generally had to know someone and he didn’t, at least not the ones that mattered. A beer, if he could just get a beer this morning, but that wasn’t going to happen, not now, not tonight, and most likely not for the next few nights. He’d been losing heavily at dice, just couldn’t seem to roll a forty-three. How hard was it to throw five twelve-sided die at the backboard and get a forty-three? For five days in a row he couldn’t, five days without a beer, five days without a meat and cheese sandwich for supper. Why had his luck gone away?

Jacko quickly finished dressing, but went back into the shower room. His beard was stubbly. Not having any shaving soap, he spread water over it and ran the cold razor across the whiskered skin, feeling an all too familiar painful tug as the dull blade pulled at the hairs, but there was nothing he could do. Why did life have to be so difficult?

Exiting his apartment, he saw a pale green envelope someone had slipped under his door. Printed on the outside was:

TO THE ATTENTION OF:

JACKO 09-325e

He opened the envelope, took out a single sheet of paper inside, and read:

ATTENTION:

YOU ARE DIRECTED TO REPORT TO SECOND CITY DISTRICT COURT AT 0800 ON ARCHDAY, THIS WEEK, TO ANSWER TO A CHARGE PURSUANT TO BOT REGULATION 67JCD9943CA1E2K: BLATANT DISREGARD FOR PERSONAL INCOME MANAGEMENT RESULTING IN AN EXCESSIVE DEBIT BALANCE ON A PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

FAILURE TO ATTEND THIS HEARING WILL RESULT IN VIGOROUS SEARCH AND APPREHENSION BY BOT SECURITY AND THE RESULTANT CHARGES OF FAILURE TO APPEAR, A GROSS MISDEMEANOR UNDER BOT REGULATION JDA33N5.

BRING THIS NOTICE WITH YOU.

SIGNED:

SAMUS 99-994a, DISTRICT COURT CLERK

That was today! Jacko looked at the clock, it was six-thirty. Having been there before for this very same charge, he knew it was going to take at least an hour, if there was a transport at the stop. No breakfast today.

He ran out the door, down the hall to the elevator, pushed the up button, and waited. Hopefully the elevator would be empty and wasn’t going to stop on any of the twenty-three floors between here and the street level exit. Late, he couldn’t be late. The last time he’d done that they kept him in jail until the following Starsday. Late, where was the elevator? Why was there only one elevator going down into the basement floors? There were hundreds of apartments down here, but only one elevator; too far to climb up the stairs, too long to do it. Where was the elevator? The up light dinged and the door opened, empty. Jacko sighed and jumped on, pressed the 1 button, and waited impatiently for the doors to close. Why did they have to close so slowly?

The elevator slowly rose, the bell dinging as each subsequent floor was passed, and then a triple ring which meant a stop. A man and two women got on, all dressed in the logoed coveralls of laborers. Jacko squeezed up against the back wall to make room. No more stops, hopefully no more stops, but after a short while, a triple ring, a stop, and the doors opened. A rotund man in the clothes of a manager squeezed in. The doors tried to close, but the hem of the man’s jacket tripped the sensor and they flew back open. He pushed himself back into the others, but the elevator door still refused to shut.

“Why don’t you get your fat ass out so the rest of us can get to work?” One of the women asked.

“Fuck off,” the fat man said.

The two women shoved and the fat man fell out of the elevator. One pushed the Close button and the elevator doors shut. The upward progress resumed, the bell dinging as floors were passed. Finally, the bell gave a long ring and the doors opened on the first floor.

“Fuck, I’m going to miss my appointment,” Jacko breathed. “Now, if the bus is outside, I just might not be late by too much.”

“Have a good day,” the man said.

“Yeah, it’s certainly not starting off very well,” Jacko said. There was a bus outside the apartment building with a DOWNTOWN sign. Jacko climbed on, swiped his card, and realized the bus was already full, but everyone else moved back a little to give him room. The driver turned on his FULL sign and pulled out into traffic.

The trip was interminably long and the bus didn’t arrive at the District Court stop until 0815. He went inside and stopped at the counter. A bot looked at him and said, “Yes, human, what do you want?”

“I received a summons,” Jacko said. He handed the envelope over to the bot.

“Wait here, human, you will be escorted to your destination,” the bot said.

Oh, no, thought Jacko, if he was going to a courtroom, the bot would have given him the room number and floor, but there was nothing he could do. He was here and, at least, they didn’t have to come looking for him, not that they would have any difficulty with his ID card pointing out his coordinates to whatever security bot was in the area. Second City was big, but there seemed to be a security bot on every corner.

“Human, step away from the counter,” a security bot behind Jacko said. “Hands behind your back, spread your legs.”

Cuffs and shackles, thought Jacko. Jail, again, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t keep his finances in order and here he was, again, being late to the courthouse and being taken down to the jail.

“You know the routine, human, you have been here enough times to know,” a security bot said. They were the new models, with metallic faces, arms and hands, and feet and legs. Almost like a real human, but with the strength of an older model. Smart, strong, and cunning, all the necessary attributes to keep the humans under their thumbs.

They went to the elevators and waited. It took quite a while until an empty arrived that the security bots could commandeer. Inside one of them pressed the button for the fifteenth basement level and Jacko knew they were going to keep him for a long, long time. There was nothing he could do. Well, not really, he could resist, but they wouldn’t hesitate to summarily kill him, which was the bot way of handling humans.

He was taken to receiving where he stripped, received the standard orifice search by a med-tech bot, and given yellow, vertical striped, black coveralls, underwear, and prison slippers. Guards cuffed and shackled him and he walked along listening to the soft clack of the shackles on the artificial stone hallway. They went to a set of elevators, got on one that was empty and waiting, and took him up four floors. This wasn’t where there were cells. They took him into a room with a vid wall and a vid camera. He sat on a metal chair and waited.

After a number of minutes, the vid came on. The bailiff entered and told everyone to stand up. Jacko stood up. A judge walked in and sat on the dais. The bailiff told everyone to sit, but told Jacko to remain standing. The judge held a paper and began to read:

“Jacko 09-325e, having been found guilty of Blatant Disregard for Personal Income Management Resulting in an Excessive Debit Balance on a Personal Account, pursuant to Bot Regulation 67JCD9943CA1E2K, you are hereby sentenced to five year’s solitary confinement, followed by internal exile to a commune on Ring 5, where you will work in your bot useful occupation until your death. Accommodations have been secured and clothing will be provided at that location. As there is little opportunity to spend whatever credits you earn from your work, we do not expect to see you in this court ever again. Have a good life.”

Internal exile, that was a new one, thought Jacko. He had never heard of anyone receiving a sentence like that, but maybe his job was useful to the bots. Well, he’d have five years to think about it. Five years in a box with no windows, a solar light in the ceiling, two showers a week, one hour of exercise outside his cell a day, and incredibly long hours of incessant boredom.

********

A contingent of four bot speeders settled down in a parking area in front of two broad, light brown buildings, both with one front door, but only one with a window. Was this to be his commune, thought Jacko? Two security bots held his arms and the chain around his waist and lifted him out of the speeder. It was a painful process, but it was the bot way. On the ground, they removed his cuffs and shackles.

“Human, take off all your clothing and slippers, they’re prison property,” a security bot said.

“Out here in the open?” Jacko asked.

“No talking, no resistance, we must leave now, follow the order, human,” the bot said.

Reluctantly, Jacko took everything off. He was embarrassed at having to do this, but bots were bots and they could just as easily kill him. The bots returned to the speeder, it rose into the air, and flew away. He looked around, but there was no one about, so, barefoot and naked he walked over to a building with the window. Covering his genitals, he went in the door and there were two women standing by a third at a desk.

“Yes, may I help you?” The woman at the desk asked. “Where are your clothes? Is someone playing a prank on you?”

“No, I was just dropped off by Bot Security,” Jacko said.

“Oh, you’re Jacko, I’m Theo, I’m the secretary here at Eden Commune.”

“Hi. Could you do something and get me some clothes?”

“Young man, go outside you’re naked,” one of the other women said. “What have you done with your clothes?”

“They were prison property along with the slippers, they took them when they left,” Jacko said.

“What are you doing here?” The other woman asked. “We don’t take criminals.”

“Internal exile,” Jacko said. “I’ll be here until I die. Can I please get some clothes? This is rather embarrassing standing here in front of three women in my nothings.”

“Yes, we’ll do that first,” Theo said. “Normally, we’d do the paperwork, but I think we can come back to that. Megan, Dorcas? Freddy should be done in a few minutes. When she intercoms me, go ahead in and tell her I’m helping the new resident.”

“Okay, Theo,” the second woman said. “I’m going to talk to Freddy about why we now have to admit criminals. This is a decent family commune, not an adjunct prison.”

On their way over to the other building, Jacko said, “You certainly have a lot of flowers and shrubbery here.”

“Yes, we started raising ornamentals a number of years ago and the growers hold back some of their harvest and we plant them around the commune. The only problem we have is that they’re busy up at their farm and on the two farms nearby, so they don’t really have time to tend them. I know you’ve probably not looked forward to being here, but we really do need someone who can take care of the flowers and shrubs. You know, someone who knows what they’re doing. We do have a person like that, but she’s the grower and, like I said, she’s busy elsewhere.”

“So, you asked the bots for a groundskeeper and they found a solution, but you had to wait five years.”

“Yeah, that was the strange part about it. Did you do something wrong?”

“I couldn’t keep my finances straight. They kept hauling me into court to explain why I always had a debit balance on my account. Yeah, there’s a law against that. So, the judge sentenced me to five year’s solitary confinement and internal exile here. He said however many credits I earn here I won’t have anywhere to spend them.”

“Uh, no, the nearest town is nearly thirty klicks away and you’d have to know someone who was going there to get a ride,” Theo said. “You’re given clothes, but they do cost credits. Whatever you earn will be credited to your account. Your food is free and is provided in either of two dining halls. You’ll be living in the dormitories in a room with a man named Billius, but most people call him Bill. He’ll show you around and help you get settled in. What are your sizes?”

“Medium large coveralls, medium large underwear, medium long socks, and medium long and medium wide boots,” Jacko said. “I assume you have girls here, too.”

“Oh, yes, you’ll probably meet some when the word gets out you’re new. The only unfortunate thing is, most of the girls already have boyfriends. So, if you hit up on the wrong girl, you have a very good chance of being smashed in the face. We do not allow fighting or brawling here and you’ll be thrown out if you’re caught, which in your case might be your undoing.”

“Yeah, thanks for letting me know. Maybe, I’ll just let one come on to me. That might be safer.”

“Or, she’ll be just looking around to spite her boyfriend who’s gotten a little disagreeable. That happens sometimes, and then the boyfriend comes looking for the man who’s come between him and his girl who he thinks is still his girl. Some men can be such meatheads, sometimes.”

“No comment,” Jacko said and smiled.

“Yeah, you’re a man, that’s why. Here put these coveralls on and you might want these socks and cross-trainers. When we get back to the office I’ll send a message out to the farms and have one of the growers come down and show you around. No wait, you’ll be with Bill today, so maybe tomorrow a grower will show you around. After we’re finished, you’ll get to meet Freddy, she’s the commune’s manager.”

“Your name is Jacko 09-325e?” Theo asked after they returned to the office and she sat at her desk.

“Yes,” Jacko said, finally glad to be able to put down the bags of clothes and boots he was carrying.

“Your reason for coming here? And, I don’t want to put in you were sent here by the courts.”

“Well, I suppose I am looking for a place to perform my trade.”

“That sounds good. Do you plan to marry sometime in the future?”

“Well, I suppose I will, if I find the right kind of woman, who’s looking for the same thing.”

“If life presented you with a man, would you consider it?”

“That’s rather personal, isn’t it?”

“I suppose you can look at it that way, but we must know so we can act accordingly if that situation arises. Of course, nothing will happen because we already have quite a few gay marrieds here at the commune.”

“And, you get away with it? I would think the machos would have something to say about it.”

“They did a number of things a little over a hundred years ago. Bot security went through here and rooted them all out. Did you run into any where you came from?”

“No, but they were around. You could hear them talking about people they didn’t like, but whenever they tried to act bot security eliminated them, most without trials. You know, summary executions, the bot way.”

“So, what’s your answer to the original question?

“Well, I’ve never really ever considered something like that. I’m not saying I wouldn’t, but I’ve never been put in a situation where I’ve been given the opportunity to get to know a man in that way. So, I guess my answer would be, maybe.”

“Very good. I’ll just let you know there are a number of gay men in the dormitory where you’ll be living, but they pretty well keep to themselves.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Okay, that’s about all I’m looking for, though I understand you had a drinking problem. Your answer to that?”

“Yes, I had a problem.”

“Well, I’ll let Freddy know you’re here.”

Jacko waited to be called into the office by looking around Theo’s office. There was a picture of a man on her desk. He looked rather handsome in the plainness of humans today: straight, black hair; round face; ready smile with perfectly white teeth; dark eyes; and, small ears. There was a picture of two women on the wall, they were holding hands, and had a look in their eyes that made Jacko feel they were probably in love. There were a couple watercolors of green fields and what might be fruit trees. It was a rather nice looking office, one that he might have liked to work in if he didn’t like working outside more.

“Jacko, you can go in now,” Theo said.

“Thank you,” Jacko said. He knocked on the door and didn’t open it until he heard a muffled sound that might have been “come in.”

“So, you’re our new groundskeeper, Jacko, I believe,” Freddy said.

“Yes.”

“We were a little hesitant allowing your placement here because of your being in prison, but, well, I’m sure you know how the bots can be about getting their way.”

“I was in prison for consistently running a debit balance on my personal account.”

“There’s a law against that?”

“Yes, I broke it for so many years I guess they just had enough and threw me in prison for five years and sent me on what they’re calling internal exile. I’ll be here until I die.”

“That long?”

“’fraid so.”

“I don’t know if Theo told you, but we’ve arranged for a man named Billius to help you settle in. Tonight, there will be a barbecue out at the farms where you will occasionally work. The ornamental plant farm is out there, but there also is a fruit and nut orchard. Of course, your primary duties will be tending to the flowers, shrubs, and trees around the commune. If at any time you have free time, your offer of help at the orchard or plant farm will certainly be appreciated. Any questions?”

“Do you have any lawns?”

“No, why?”

“Well, sometimes if you have a long, broad planting, sometimes it makes sense to put in a lawn. People like them for picnics or just lying on the grass. I’ll look around and if I find any places that might be appropriate for that purpose, I’ll let you know. I can handle all the seeding and care. Of course, depending on the size we’ll have to acquire the appropriate equipment to cut the grass and maintain the compost piles. You do compost spent flowers, right?”

“Uh, I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone knows how to do that. What do you use compost for?”

“Oh, it’s a good soil amendment for growing plants of all kinds.”

“How much compost can be made? We might have many uses for something like that.”

“Well, it depends on how much material you have to go into the compost. Any vegetable matter is good, so if say a farmer has green plant material after a harvest, all of that probably can be composted. I’ll have to survey the grounds to see potentially how much may be available here.”

“We could arrange the use of a speeder to get you around.”

“I’m from the city; I don’t know how to drive.”

“Oh, yeah, I used to live in a city, too, and I didn’t learn to drive until we moved out here. Well, Jacko, it’s good to have you join Eden Commune and we will look forward to all the help you give to our success.”

“Thank you.”

She pressed a button on a small box and said, “Theo, could you get in touch with Billius and tell him to come up to the office?”

“You can wait out in Theo’s office; Billius might be out on one of the farms, so it might take a while for him to get here,” Freddy said.

“Thank you for accepting me, I know it was probably a difficult choice. I look forward to being a great groundskeeper for you.”

********

“Hi, I’m Bill and you’re Jack, right?” A man said after he came into Theo’s office.

“Jacko.”

“Well, Jacko let me put it this way. Here at Eden Commune people normally shorten a person’s name. Everyone you meet will probably change your name to Jack. Like Theo here, you don’t want to know her real name, it’s too formal, and I’m sure they told you my full name. I’m Bill, not Billius, born with it, don’t use it.”

“Well, good to know you have a sense of humor.”

“Good, let’s get your things and take you over to the dorm. Have they briefed you on which farms you’ll probably be working on?”

“I’ll probably not do very many things on the farms I’ve been assigned to; I have a different reason for being here.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ll be the groundskeeper.”

“You mean you’ll take care of the flowers?”

“And, shrubbery and whatever trees you have. I might even work pruning fruit trees; I know how to do that, too. First off, though, I’ll be looking where we can put in some lawns.”

“I haven’t seen a lawn since living in Second City on Ring 7.”

“You lived there? That’s where I’m from; I worked for the Parks Department.”

“Wait a minute, I’ve seen you before. One day, when I had a day off, I was in Central Park and there was this guy who caught my eye. He was trimming a hedge. I said hello and, yes, it was you, you said hello back. I can’t remember what we talked about, but as we were talking you kept trimming that hedge, like you’d done it for a hundred years and didn’t have to pay attention to what you were doing. After that day I never saw you again.”

“I floated around the city working in all the parks, so it was only a chance meeting. Even if we had gotten to be friends, you would never know where I was going to be on any given day because I didn’t receive my work assignment until I reported to the office.”

“Must have been nice being able to move about the city. My customer service job kept me in a high-rise with a view of the building across the street. To think, after all these years we meet here at Eden Commune.”

“Do you know why they call it Eden Commune?”

“Well, it was explained to me that we’re the only commune on the ship that accepts farm helpers that live in dormitories. All the other communes have farm bots doing our kind of work. We don’t allow bots here, except for the ones that come in to pick up harvests and security bots that come here to help with resident issues, like guys who get in fights. We don’t know where the bots take them, but it couldn’t be a nice place.”

“Probably execute them, you know, the bot way.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of that, too.”

They kept talking about this and that as they walked along a lane toward a large group of multi-story buildings. At one of them, Bill opened the door and Jack walked in, but waited until Bill came in and led the way to his room, which was three floors up, with no elevators. The stairs were broad and trimmed in some kind of wood or, maybe, it was imitation, Jack couldn’t tell without getting up close. The halls were brightly lit, so bright you could probably read a book. The room had two beds on either side, two dressers, two wardrobes, and one desk, all made out of that same kind of wood as the stairs. There was a sink with a mirror above and a door beside it, which turned out to be where there was a toilet and a shower.

“Where’s the laundry?” Jack asked as he started putting away his clothes.

“Oh, that’s taken care of, we have room service here,” Bill said. “That’s one of the jobs here, cleaning, washing clothes, laundering bedding and towels, though we have to make our beds.”

“What happened to your old roommate?”

“Well, uh, we didn’t work out. He grew to dislike me. I can be rather friendly, sometimes, and I guess he didn’t like my friendliness.”

“What do you mean friendly?”

“Oh, I like guys more than most men.”

“Oh, so you’re gay, huh?”

“Bingo!”

“I’ve never met a gay man before that I know of. So, why are you telling me, now?”

“Well, gives you a chance to back out, if you want to. Probably should’ve told the guy before you, but didn’t and now you’re here and, maybe, you don’t have a problem with me.”

“Look, I don’t think I’ll have a problem living with you, Bill. Like I said, I’ve never met a gay man before and don’t really know if I’m supposed to act different around one.”

“You didn’t say there were any conditions to staying. I was expecting you to say for me to stay on my own side of the room. Not to walk around here naked. Not to comment on how nice you look when you’re naked. Not to give you a hug when you’ve had a bad day at work. Not to come over a sit on your bed and just talk.”

“I take it you’ve had a few roommates.”

“Most guys here have had roommates stay until they’ve gotten a farm and moved out. The bots are always giving us more land to put into production, so there are always chances to move out of the dormitories and into a farm residence with a new wife. All of that takes many, many years, but some just stay together and like any other pairing of straights there’s never anything going on between them.”

“Okay, let me put it this way. I grew up in a city and then lived in a city. I never met a boy or a man who came on to me, not that I might not have accepted the attention, it just never came up. Okay? I guess what I’m saying is that I might not refuse your attention, but I’ll probably be very nervous about it at first if it comes to that. From what I’ve seen so far, you seem to be a real nice guy. But I don’t expect to wake up some morning with you in my bed naked with your hard-on shoved up against my leg either, or at least not until we get to know each other better. Okay?”

“Hey, sure, that sounds great. Okay, no outward actions on my part until we become better friends, but I do take my clothes off before going in to take a shower.”

“No problem, so do I.”

“I may make a comment.”

“Might appreciate it, if you do.”

“When we go over to the dining hall tonight, I’ll introduce you to my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? I thought you’re gay.”

“Oh, I am, but it’s mostly for show. She understands where I lay and knows nothing’s going to come out of our relationship. Of course, most of the people living in the dormitories know I’m gay, so it’s rather pointless to try to hide it. Maybe, if I get a boyfriend, we’ll break up; or maybe she’ll find a guy and break up with me, who knows.”

“I’d really like to meet her, but I’m supposed to go out to a barbecue this evening. Somewhere I’ll be working when I’m not tending flower beds. I guess that’s where the ornamental farm is, too.”

“Oh, out there, sure, I’ve picked fruit out there. We need to go back to the office to ask Freddy if I can accompany you. Maybe they’ll let us borrow one of the commune’s speeders. We can but if one of us drinks, the other will have to drive back.”

“Grew up in the city, don’t know how to drive. I get to drink, you don’t, sorry.”

“First chance I’m going to teach you enough about how to drive a speeder so you can get a license. You’ll need access to a speeder here at the commune, it’s huge. Come on let’s get back to the office.”

********

Luckily, they were able to get a two place speeder, one with room for tools, which got Jack to thinking about getting his license, soon. Bill took a roundabout way out to the barbecue to give Jack some idea of how big the place really was and, although Jack didn’t say anything, he was impressed by the number of flower beds and shrubbery on quite a few of the farms.

When they landed at the farms where he was to work, now and then, Jack was amazed at the number of single story residences on the property. Having grown up in a city, he expected to see, at least, a few apartment buildings on the commune, but from the flight out here, he hadn’t seen any. They climbed out of the speeder and Jack followed Bill around back of one of the residences where quite a large crowd had gathered. Bill introduced him around, but Jack knew he wouldn’t remember half their names. All of them seemed particularly cold at his attendance at the party, which he thought was to welcome him to the commune. One thing he did notice though, neither Freddy or Theo were there yet, so maybe all these people had no idea what he had been convicted of or what his sentence had been. Finally, Bill took him around to where two men were talking, but they immediately quieted when Jack appeared. He knew they were talking about what they were going to do with him. Well, that was their problem; Freddy had accepted him and that was good enough for him.

“Jack, this is Ben and Abe,” Bill said.

“Happy to meet you,” Abe said. “So, Jack, to clear the air and I’m sure everybody wants to know, too. What were you convicted of?”

“Oh, yeah, I knew it was going to come to this eventually. My charge was not managing my personal account to the point where I consistently carried a debit balance.”

“You can be charged with something like that?” Ben asked.

“Oh, sure, bot rules, you know, the bot way of handling humans,” Jack said. “I had been called into court so many times, I guess the bots had enough and I was formally convicted of the crime and sentenced to five year’s solitary confinement, and internal exile.”

“Internal exile, what’s that?” Ben asked.

“He’ll be here until he dies,” Bill said with an air of authority. “And, with his job, he might want to leave sometime in the far future, but he won’t be able to.”

“We need to let everyone know,” Abe said.

“Let me do it,” Jack said.

“Well, if you want to. I was going to, but I guess it might sound better if it came out of the beefalo’s mouth.”

“Farm joke?” Jack asked.

“Ben and his partner run the beefalo ranch here, Abe helps out and has a portion of the herd as his own,” Bill said. “Go ahead, Jack.”

“Everyone! Could I have your attention?” Jack called out. When the crowd quieted down he continued, “I know everyone is speculating on how it is that I’m here at this idyllic commune while being a criminal, so I’ll tell you. Freddy decided you needed someone to tend all the flowers, shrubs, and trees around here. So, she contacted the bots and in their incomprehension of how humans want to live their lives came up with a solution. For a long time, I ran a debit balance on my personal account because I couldn’t manage my finances, which resulted in quite a few times being hauled into court to explain what my problem was. The bots knew what was going on. You push your card into one of those slots or authorize a transfer of credits from your account to pay a bill and the bots track your financial data. So, anyway, five years ago, I was summoned to court and the bots arrested me before I got into a courtroom, but they needn’t have gone to such a dramatic way of doing it. You know, the bot way of doing things to humans. Anyway, I was sentenced to five year’s solitary confinement and internal exile, which is, if anyone wants to know, I’ll be here until I die. So, after requesting a person to tend to the flowers, the bots delivered me here, this morning. I’m your new groundskeeper. I know all about planting and tending of all kinds of flowers: annuals, biennials, perennials, bulbs, rhizomes, and a few others that we won’t get into, but do well when fully exposed to the solar lights or only grow in dark shady places. Also, I will tend the shrubs, flowering and otherwise; trees, either ornamental or for shade; and, I know how to prune fruit and nut trees to ensure a full harvest every year. I know this is a lot of information, but I thought all of you should know. Thank you for inviting me to this party.”

“That’s telling them,” said a young man who had just arrived. “Oh, hi, you must be Jack, name’s Roger, I’m Abe’s husband.”

“Oh, happy to meet you.”

“He didn’t flinch,” Abe said.

“No, he knows I’m gay and I told him what the situation was out here, personal wise,” Bill said. “And, for me, he doesn’t care. He said we might even become good friends.”

“Oh, then you’re gay, too?” Roger asked.

“Don’t know,” Jack said. “Never came up in my short life.”

“Oh, but Bill said,” Ben started.

“Look, so far I’ve been, I guess what you call straight all my life, but I’ve never been exposed to anyone who is gay, so I never had a chance to say one way or the other. Maybe, I go both ways.”

“Just for your information, most gays have one of these,” Ben said, as he pointed at the eagle on the side of his forehead.

“Oh, never seen one of those and I grew up in a city,” Jack said. “But, maybe, the machos got all of them. I’ve heard the bots keep trying to eradicate them in the bot way, but cities are a hotbed of alternate lifestyles and beliefs. Not saying being gay is a lifestyle choice. From what Bill has been telling me, you know when you’re gay by how you think about another man, sexually, that is. I’ve known, uh, straight guys who’ve been close friends for years, but I never suspected them of being anything else than friends.”

“Most men in cities don’t have eagles unless the bots catch them,” Ben said. “Then they get an eagle and have to be on the lookout for machos, which see nothing wrong with killing a gay man. That happened here a number of years ago.”

“Some machos killed someone here?” Jack asked.

“We were beaten so bad it came awfully damned close,” Abe said. “Luckily, I wasn’t in the hospital for very long, but Roger almost died and he still has a disability on the left side of his body. I wish there was some way he could get better, but we don’t have the money right now. The bots tell us it’ll take a couple million credits and there still won’t be any guarantee he’ll be better. There’s also a chance he’ll be worse. So, when we finally have the money, we’re going have to sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion what he really wants.”

“Oh, man, I’m sorry to hear that,” Jack said.

“Oh, that’s alright, but thank you for your concern,” Roger said.

Jack looked at Roger and began to wonder how many times he had to say the same thing to someone else who said they were sorry to hear that he had that disability from being beaten up by machos. Then he began to wonder a lot of things about Abe and Roger that should not have crossed his mind. Finally, he shook off those thoughts and simply assumed Abe and Roger had such a close relationship before that incident that they were able to stay together afterward.

“Jack, you’ve gone away from us,” Abe said, nudging the new man. “Is there something wrong?”

“Oh, no, just lost in thought for a moment,” Jack said.

“Do you want something to drink?” Ben asked.

“Sure, Bill is driving, he’ll probably have water,” Jack said. “I’ll come over to the bar with you.”

“Oh, he can have one drink, then we’ll cut him off,” Roger said.

“Oh, thanks, Roger,” Bill said. “Jack, bring back me a whiskey and soda, no ice.”

“I’ve always drank beer,” Jack said as he and Ben walked over to the bar. “Couldn’t ever afford liquor after I left home. Of, course, I haven’t had anything in five years, so you’d better cut me off early, too. Don’t want to get people thinking I’m a drunk, besides being a criminal.”

“You’re not a criminal,” a woman said. “You probably don’t remember, I’m Megan. I was at the office this morning when you came in in a state of undress.”

“Oh, yeah, but you’re not the one who said I was a criminal.”

“No, that was Dorcas.”

“Jack, you’re lucky April no longer lives here,” Ben said. “She would’ve torn you a new one.”

“To say the least,” Megan said.

“You know, Ben, Megan, I think I’m going to like living, and working, here,” Jack said. Finally, he thought, finally, someplace to call home, full of friendly people who were honestly interested in him. Of course, it took that long speech to set the record straight, but it always was going to come to that. “Megan, can I ask you something, what’s that pink heart on the side of your forehead.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“A what?”

“I like women, not in the way I like men. I was once married to April, but she couldn’t handle people she thought were different. In some ways, she was close to what you might call a macho. I just got fed up and we broke up. It was a messy divorce because we’re both rich and had been together for a long, long time, and, well, April doesn’t like to play fair. I suppose we’ll never speak again.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Jack said. “No, honestly, I am, truly sorry. My parents got divorced when I was thirteen and I ended up living with both of them, one week with Momi and the next with Dadi. My sister committed suicide because she thought it was her fault. It devastated our parents, but they never got back together. I got a trade and when I hit my majority, I moved out on my own and, now, I’m here. But, I am happy to be here. I’ve met a man who just might become something more than just a friend, I have a job that will last a lifetime, and I’m around people who don’t have to try to like me. This is definitely an Eden.”

“Well, thanks Jack,” Megan said. “What do you want to drink?”

“Rye, straight.”

“Oh, god, not another one,” Ben said. “Didn’t April drink rye?”

“Yeah,” Megan said. “Jack, have you ever had rye?”

“Yes, that’s what my parents drank and I was allowed to drink it at home when I turned fifteen.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Megan said.

Later that night, after the men got back to their room, Bill immediately started to get undressed. In a moment he was completely naked. He looked a Jack, who shrugged and began to undress, too. Jack didn’t know what was going to happen, but at this point in the evening he really didn’t care. He felt he’d made his point early, even if he wasn’t quite ready to go further, but he felt it was now or never. He walked over to Bill and said, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t worry about it, I know it all, but we’ll start slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

They embraced and Jack felt Bill’s mouth lock onto his.