I know that she told me that she was going to be alright. And I really should believe her. But...that sickening feeling of 'threat' wouldn't leave me alone. Even on the way to Brody's house, my magic, my miracle....my mind was haunted with visions of my Mom being hurt by the 'beast' that awaits her in that darkened bedroom. I imagined him giving her the same treatment that he gave me when I had really pushed his temper over the edge. I thought about her in pain, calling out for help...and me not being there for her when she needs me most. That thought alone was enough to almost make me want to jump off of the bus and go back home...just to check.
But...I stayed still. Maybe it was selfish of me...but I actually chose spending time with Brody over my mom's safety. Does that make me a worthless human being? Isn't this the kind of thing that people go to hell for? Wow...I really AM a scumbag piece of shit, aren't I? I mean..what the fuck am I DOING? I should go back. No...really...I need to get off the bus and go back. I need...I need to make sure she's ok. I can't do this. I can't even THINK about doing this! Her safety means EVRYTHING to me! Without her...I won't survive. I won't survive.
I pulled the signal to let the bus driver know that I wanted off, and he pulled over at the next block. I was standing next to some gas station somewhere, and it truly hurt my heart to see the bus moving again...getting smaller and smaller as it moved on into the distance. My one big chance at....sighhh.....being happy.
I couldn't help but feel a bit sad about it all. Helpless. The depression seemed to compress my chest at least three inches, causing me to whimper a bit from the disappointment. But when I saw a gas station telephone, and thought that maybe I could just, like...'call', you know? I mean...maybe she's ok. Maybe she'll answer the phone, and I can still...well...
Still thinking about Brody. Still thinking about my OWN happiness. Disgusting. I'm a fucking disgusting 'pig' of a son. This is SO fucking selfish! This is wrong! Everything is wrong! I'm no better than the people who turn their heads when I'm getting my fucking ASS kicked everyday! I keep thinking about the screams I screamed, and the tears I cried, and the beatings I took...every time I even THINK that someone I care about is in trouble, I can't help but to remember what it was like to not have anyone there. I remember what it was like to shout out to 'no one', and be left all alone. No savior. Nobody to care. Nobody to listen. Nobody to give a shit about me when I was trying to endure a level of pain that most people can't even imagine. I would be a hypocrite and a fiend to turn my back on someone else who needed my help. ESPECIALLY if it's my mom. I just couldn't do it. What kind of sick, worthless, asshole, would that make me? To someone who has known so much pain in his life...it seems like a blasphemy to allow it to continue for anyone else. Even if it means....never having the things I want for myself.
I looked over at the public phone again...and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I contemplated giving her a phone call and having that be enough. A heavy cement block of extreme guilt being dropped on my shoulders as thoughts of spending the day kissing and rolling around with Brody flooded my mind My brief, insignificant, moments of joy were never meant to overshadow the importance of my duty to friends and family. I can do without a few giggles if it means peace and tranquility among those I love and the ones who love me back. I just wish that Brody could have been a part of that equation today.
I tapped my fingers on my jeans pocket, feeling the change rattling inside, and looking at the payphone. I should call first, right? I mean, it's NOT because I'm ditching my mom for Brody! It's because...I wanted to make absolutely SURE that she's ok before I go home. Because I AM going home! I should just...check first. Yeah...I'll just check first.
I went to the pay phone, and felt my hand shaking a bit as I didn't know what to expect. If my mom was in any danger at all, I could always run into the gas station and ask them to call the police. I just...I didn't know if I could bear the idea of my mom in any pain. Any pain at all. It made me nervous to dial my own number. But it had to be done. Please be alright. Please be ok! I heard the phone ringing...and ringing...
"Hello?" My mom answered the phone. In her NORMAL voice. I didn't know what to say...I just...kinda stood there silent while the fear of her being battered and abused tried to slowly work itself out of my system. "Hello?" I couldn't believe that I was still shaking a bit.
"Are you...ok?" I asked softly, feeling the strange sensation of tears appearing in my eyes. I don't know if they were tears of relief...or just some spontaneous reaction to the emotional build up. But it was DAMN good to hear her voice.
"Zack? What are you doing? Where are you?"
"Are you OK???" I said again. I just needed to hear it. I NEEDED her to say it out loud.
"Of course I'm ok. What are you...?" She stopped for a moment, and then told me, "Honey, your father is just having a bad morning. He went out for the day, but everything is fine. WE are fine. Stop worrying so much. It's not your fault. Ok?"
There it was again. That hellish confession...burning at the back of my throat. My heart screaming at me to tell her. To warn her. But my life wouldn't let me. The life I had now was just starting to become...'balanced' again. So I gnashed my teeth together, and felt a stray tear fall as I tried to choke back the emotion and say, "Mom...I can...I can come home if you want me to Please...just tell me if you...'need' my help. Please?"
She seemed a bit shocked by my concern, but she said, "Zack...you go have fun with your friends today, ok? Live a little bit of life for 'you'. I'll be fine." Something in the way she said it...it sounded like I had aroused some level of suspicion in her as to what was going on. And I didn't want that. He'd kill us both if he thinks I told her. He wouldn't even lose any sleep over it. So, with a shaky heart, and an even shakier voice..I told her that I'd be home later on today. And before I hung up the phone, she said, "Zack...I wanna...I wanna 'talk' to you when you come home. Ok? Just you and me."
The idea sent a shiver through me, and I didn't even acknowledge her request. "I've gotta go, Mom. I'll see you later."
"Zack...?" But I hung up the phone before she got the chance to say anything else. I didn't want to promise her that. It was a conversation that I didn't want to have.
Instead, I took deep breaths, and tried hard to push that frightening collection of fear and confusion down into the pit of my stomach where I hoped to bury it again. Cover it up where no one would see it. Sense it. Or hear the sickening rattle of suffering in my voice when I spoke. Some days...it could be sooooo hard to push it back down where it belonged. Soooo very hard.
But if nothing else, it gave me an 'activity' to involve myself in as I waited for the next bus, and then traveled the rest of the way to Brody's house. By the time I got there, I might actually be able to work up a somewhat decent smile. After all...seeing him is the spark that ignites every good feeling that I have left in this assaulted body of mine. I hated to 'depend' on Brody to keep me happy. It shouldn't be his obligation to make me feel good. But....maybe he's just the medicine I needed this weekend.
My body will heal itself. But Brody is the only chance I've got for healing my soul It's all in his hands now, whether he knows it or not.
The trip seemed to take forever, but when I found myself getting close to the appropriate stop...I felt an entirely different shiver wash over me. A warm one that tingled just beneath the surface of my skin, and had me patting my knees and bouncing on the balls of my feet as I waited for the bus to pull up to the right block. Sure there was a tiny bit of guilt left, as I felt like I was just ignoring the whole world just for my own sick pleasure, and I KNEW that I should be doing something...I dunno...more important. But the fabricated promise of Brody's kiss was...sighhhh....it was almost too much for me to bear by myself. My breath was getting short, and I literally started to 'smile' as I saw the street sign leading towards his house. My every emotion tied itself in a knot, and as much as I wanted to dull my excitement...it was bubbling out of control. By the time I stepped off of that bus...I was giggling quietly to myself, and trying hard not to 'run' the rest of the way to Brody's front door! And that wasn't easy, believe me.
I started walking faster and faster...my heart racing with every step that brought me closer to magic. I tried to consciously slow myself down so I wouldn't be sweaty and breathing hard when he answered the door...not that my hormones weren't already producing that effect. But as I slowed down, I felt myself instantly getting hard from the eagerness of seeing his smile. I was already halfway stiff before I even realized what was happening. I tried to give myself a convincing 'abort' command, but my erection wasn't listening. It was DEFINITELY coming to the party with me, and that meant that I had to walk a bit faster to avoid freaking out some old lady working on her garden or something!
Omigod! I'm almost there! He's waiting for me! He SAID so! God, I hope he kisses me right away! I'm gonna be a total basket case if he makes me wait! Ahhhhh!!!! Brody's house! I'm here! I'm totally HERE!!!!
I was at full hardness when I got to his door, and with a peek over both shoulders to make sure no one was watching, I kinda...'adjusted' things down there. I reached in and angled it upwards, hoping that it wouldn't show so much. But that didn't work too well. The damn thing wouldn't stay still. And trying to tuck it into the elastic of my boxers only made it throb and get harder. So THAT didn't work. I tried to angle it 'down' instead....but um....PAINFUL! That was DEFINITELY not gonna work. And it doesn't really bend to either side very well either. Maybe I should just stop fucking touching it already! And it'll go down by itself. Go down. Awww, c'mon...GO DOWN!!!
Just then, the front door opened, and Brody was standing there looking at me while I was looking at my own penis! "Hehehe, dude, what are you doing?"
"Huh?" I asked, trying to buy myself a few seconds to come up with an excuse. "I was...I was gonna...ring the bell, I just..."
"Well, what are you waiting for? Come in already! I've been waiting forever!" He said, and he opened the screen door to let me in. I don't think he saw my tent, thank god...but I stayed aroused nonetheless.
Once again, I was completely swept off of my feet with the mesmerizing beauty of his smile. His hair was still wet from his morning shower. In fact, there was a single droplet of water hanging from one of his giant curls...and it just kinda hung there. Suspended. It wouldn't fall. GOD it was sexy! The rest of his dark brown hair was pressed delicately to his forehead with the sweetened moisture, and his hazel eyes seemed to almost glow in the morning light as it streamed in through his living room windows. He was wearing a baggy light blue t-shirt that collapsed in around the curves of his thin and slender body. And that led down to a pair of shiny black soccer shorts, allowing me to see a bit of his smooth, well sculpted legs, before reaching his pearly white sock feet. I smiled as the scent of soap and cookies enchanted me, and I blushed instantly. Please God...don't let me screw this up.
Brody stared at me with a grin of his own for a bit, and then he bit his bottom lip shyly and said, "So...um...hehehe, I'm glad you're here."
"Yeah. Me too." I said, peeking at him occasionally between long gazes at the floor.
We both fidgeted a bit, not knowing what to do with our hands. Neither one of us knowing how to approach the other. Too scared to make the first move and make a wrong assumption on what the other boy wanted this day to be about. I just hoped...no..I PRAYED, that Brody had the guts to say something. Because I didn't. I was a worthless, gutless, worm as it was...and I didn't DARE make any more foolish mistakes with this boy. I didn't DARE!
How is it possible that he's even more beautiful than he was the last time I saw him? How the hell does he expect me to be able to DO this???
"Did you eat already? If not, we could get some snacks out of the kitchen or something. If you want." Brody asked, and I found myself unable to speak. I tried to nod, but couldn't decide between 'yes' and 'no' fast enough. So I just stood there like an idiot! But, just as I was about to mentally start slapping myself across the face to punish my timid behavior for making me look stupid...Brody smiled. And then...my GOD, he was overtaken by the CUTEST blush I've ever SEEN!!! "Hehehe, um...it's ok, you know?" He said.
"I'm...I'm kinda nervous too." He said. And then he took me by the hand, and leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek. "But...for what it's worth...just having you here with me is enough to keep me smiling for a week. I'm really happy that you didn't back out on me today."
My emotional rush nearly knocked me off of my feet when he did that. I had to fight for my balance as a bout of dizziness took a momentary hold of me. And then I leaned forward to give him a kiss on his cheek as well. "Me too." I said, and started to giggle to myself as Brody turned a bit to hide his smile from me.
"Come on, we've got popsicles in the freezer if you want one." He said, and he actually held my hand to lead me to the kitchen. He didn't let go until he reached the fridge. "What do you want? We've got...ummm...red, orange, purple, and green." He said, and had to look back as I was lost in a daze. Staring at him with a bashful grin.
"Uhhh...hehehe...green." I said.
"Sweet! That's my favorite too." He handed me one, and took one for himself, reaching in a drawer for some scissors to cut them both open. And we spent just a few moments sucking on popsicles in his kitchen. Leaning against the counters, smiling every time our eyes connected. I couldn't understand what was happening here. Or NOT happening, as the case may be. I mean...me and Brody had kissed before. We both liked ach other. That was for certain. And we were definitely both alone in this house today. And we both evidently WANT to do it. So....UGH!!! Why aren't things just 'happening' like they're supposed to??? Why can't I just walk over and lock lips with him and have us...I dunno...get 'naked' or something? There was, like, this sudden barricade between us that allowed us to smile and wave at each other, but refused to let us touch. I must be fucking this up somehow. It's gotta be something I'm doing wrong. I just know it. I'm....I'm messing up!!!
"Thanks...for...you know...the um...'thing'..." I stuttered.
Brody gave me a weird look. "The what?" Speechless, I just held up the popsicle, and he got the message. "Oh! Yeah. No problem, dude. I've got, like, a ton of 'em."
Great move, Zack. Compliment him on his snacks! Dummy! I got even more fidgety as I tried to bridge the gap between us standing here being silent, and smashing my lips against his until I couldn't BREATHE any more! But just as I about to speak, Brody started talking on his own.
"So, do you wanna go out somewhere today? Like the park or something? Or if you want, maybe we hit the Rec Center for some basketball or something. Whatever you want to do."
I tried to be convincing, but I don't think I managed that too well. "Well...sure. I mean...if...if you want to do that."
Brody giggled a bit. "If you don't want to, you don't have to." He said, and I gave him the weirdest smirk, trying not to let on that I wanted to stay right where we were at the moment. "You don't wanna go anywhere, do you?"
"No..." I said, and that caused us both to snicker a bit. But I felt my courage building. More out of desperation than anything else. And I began searching for the words to tell him how much I was ACHING to kiss him on the lips! Just...just for a while! I can't STAND the waiting any more! It's KILLING me!
Brody was sucking on his popsicle, and the cool icy surface of the treat made his lips soooo kissably pink. His eyes met mine, and I felt a weightless drop in the center of my stomach as I attempted to be...ummm...'cute' for him. I took a risk, and held the eye contact for a few seconds, but had to look away as I felt myself beginning to harden and swell in my pants again. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I don't know why. But the words were practically radiating off of me along with the rest of my rising body heat. And yet, I remained silent. Devouring that popsicle as if it could save me from the next few hours of awkward conversation and confused 'wiggling' associated with Brody's very presence in my life.
Then....he stood up straight and said, "Come on. We can play games for a while until we figure out what to do." He walked past me, and I kinda reached my hand out a bit to have him take a hold of it again and lead me back to his room. But...he didn't. He just walked out of the room and expected me to follow. Stupid! I'm soooooo STUPID!!! Why didn't I say something? Why didn't I kiss him! Worthless. This is pointless. He's gonna HATE me for being so dumb! Why am I even here? "Zack?" He called from around the corner, and I lowered my head a bit, walking out to follow him to his room.
As soon as I was inside, the voices in my head tortured me further. I sat down at the foot of his bed while he turned his game system on. He plopped down on the mattress next to me and handed me a controller. I didn't even look up at him, and I think he could see the distress on my face. He leaned over and butted me with his shoulder. "What?" I asked.
"You alright?" He asked. "You look like you're kinda 'lost' over there."
"You sure?" Wow...up close, his smile was so...so....wow.
"Yeah. Don't mind me. I'm sorry." I said, and tried to smile as I cast aside thoughts of spending the day smooching with the most beautiful boy in the world...and tried not to show my disappointment as I 'settled' for playing video games at his side instead.
It's not that being with Brody wasn't fun. I mean....like...it was. He seemed perfectly happy to just interact with me on a TV screen as we took shots at each other in a few games of Halo. But he was racking up quite an embarrassing score on me, and it came mostly from the fact that I could hardly concentrate while he was sitting there next to me, looking and smelling so goddamn GOOD! His voice was like a siren song to me, almost tickling my ears with every word and making me even hornier than I was when I came over. Why was this falling apart? And why was it hurting so much? I was actually SORE from trying to contain myself. I wanted to jump on and hold him down until he couldn't say no to me any more. Is that sane? I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should be happy with whatever he gives me, right? I mean....RIGHT?
But the game just kept going on and on, and he kept avoiding my eyes whenever I tried to catch his attention so that...I dunno..maybe he'd kiss me first. I'd try to lean forward a bit, and smile at him, hoping that he'd get the hint. But he kept focusing on the game! Arrrgh! Geez, he looked cute. I just...I wanted to like...brush his ARM or..or SOMETHING! I was CRAVING some form of intimate contact here! And finally...just as my inner screams were getting too loud and too bold for me to stand any more...I paused the game on my own and put my controller down at my feet.
"Brody?" I said, my bottom lip quivering with fright.
I can't believe I'm about to say this. "Brody...will you kiss me? Please?" I asked him, looking straight ahead so I couldn't even see his reaction. "I'm losing my mind here."
There was a silence. It might have only been a few seconds but it felt like an hour with oxygen to me. I was almost ready to burst into tears and leave before I made an even bigger fool out of myself when I heard Brody giggling beside me. I was a bit confused at first, and peeked at him out of the corner of my eye.
"Dude, is THAT what this is about?" He said.
"Of COURSE I'll kiss you!" He smiled. "I just...you know...I never know if you're gonna be...'ok' with that or not. I kinda thought..."
"NO! It's ok! Really! It's always ok!" I said, my excitement building back up to 150 percent in a matter of seconds.
"Are you sure? I mean...I REALLY wanted to, but...I mean, you don't HAVE to if you just..."
"I *WANT* to!" I said, sitting up straight and moving a bit closer. He saw me being a spaz about it all, and we both started snickering together. "I've been wanting to kiss you every minute since the last time I kissed you, Brody."
"You promise you're not gonna like...freak on me or anything, right?" He said with a sparkle in his eye. I nodded with a smile. "Ok. You better not go acting like I forced ya..."
"Just DO IT, already! Please???" I must have had such a helpless look on my face because Brody thought it was too adorable to pass up.
"Close your eyes." He said softly. I did what he asked, and tried to keep from wiggling too much as I waited for him to connect with me once again. My legs began to tremble slightly, and my breathing sped up. I waited a bit longer...my heart pounding hard enough for the neighbors next door to hear! And I braced myself for what I had been waiting for all week! Yep...I...I waited for him to just...plant one on me.
Finally, I opened one of my eyes, and I saw Brody sitting there looking at his WATCH! "What the hell are you DOING?" I asked him.
He stopped his watch and giggled out loud. "Thirty four seconds! You'd wait thirty four seconds for me to kiss you? I don't know, you don't seem too anxious to me..." But I shoved him before he could even finish his sentence. I pounced on him and he was forced back on the mattress where I lost all control and kissed him deeply on the lips. It took everything that had ever hurt me in my whole life...and set it free. After just a few seconds, I had to disconnect and just...allow my heart to tremble for a few seconds.
I rolled off of him, and stared up at the ceiling as a big goofy smile crossed my lips. Brody rolled onto his side and looked at me with a blush. "You know...I don't think you could give me a better compliment than the look on your face right now." He kissed my cheek softly. Slowly. And he gently laid his hand on my chest. Right over my heart. I used my own hand to hold it down, and just enjoyed the surreal moment for all it was worth. "Hehehe, do you wanna stop?" Brody asked. I shook my head, lost in a haze of infatuation. "Do you want more?"
"Yes, please." I grinned, and my eyes met his briefly before he lowered himself down to kiss me again. I remember feeling all the air rush out of my lungs when our lips made contact. I remember the slight dampness of his curls as they touched my forehead. I even remember the sweetened taste of green popsicle on his tongue as it slid lovingly into my mouth. It was a kiss that no one could fake. He loved me. He truly loved me. He may be the one person on Earth besides my own mother who ever could. And that was almost enough to bring tears to my eyes.
We fit together with ease. Two pieces of a broken puzzle, finding one another amidst a giant scattering of incompatible parts. Our arms went around each other, and we scooted closer together on the bed. It felt almost awkward to not be looking for some kind of interference. To just..'kiss' and BE 'kissed' without any shame or worry at all. I've never known anything like it. Ever. For the first time in years...those horrible, offensive, spirit breaking, voices in my head...fell silent. They stopped hurting me. They stopped spitting on me. They stopped scratching and clawing at my heart and trying to make me wallow in my suffering in some dark corner of my room like I always did. Those voices wanted me to be alone forever. But I'm NOT alone. I'm here with an angel. And as long as he's holding me in his arms...I'll never be alone again. Not ever.
Brody broke our lip lock for a second, and he rubbed his nose against mine with a giggle. "I'm gonna put on some music, k? Hold on a sec."
"Ok..." I said breathlessly. When he got up, I realized how EXTREMELY hard I was! I rolled over on to my stomach to hide it a bit, as it still felt a little weird being hard in front of another boy. Or in front of ANYONE for that matter. But when I saw Brody go over to his computer and open his downloaded music files...I could clearly see that he was hard too. And...an awesome size too. Hehehe! I bit my bottom lip and grinned to myself as the bubbly feeling of joy tried to escape from every pore. He bent over a bit to start it playing, and I checked out the curve of his butt in those soccer shorts. Omigod...I wanna touch it. I've GOTTA touch it!
Brody stood up again, and much to my surprise...he took his shirt off. I gasped as I saw his tight little stomach suck in a bit as more of his smooth warm skin came into view. Two small pink nipples, smaller than dime, and a tight little oval for a belly button. You could see the muscles in his abdomen, but only for a brief second or two as they flexed from his movements. Then they'd disappear back under the buttermilk surface of his skin again. I was frozen for a moment, and Brody asked me, "Is...is this ok?" I looked down and saw a rather obvious tent pointing in my direction, and with a lazy smirk, I rolled over on to my back to show him that I was in the same position as he was. "That's the best thing I've seen all week." He said, and as I sat up to take off my shirt, he got back on the bed with me.
I threw my shirt over the side, and our arms instantly reached for one another again. This time...the skin to skin contact was so warm. So smooth. It was like touching fine sun warmed silk. And as our kissing continued, his hands roamed over my flesh with a certain level of fascination. I had never known a pleasure like that. After all the bruises I had taken from my father, I had never in my life imagined that I could feel a touch so tender. So caring. The way it glided delicately over my back and shoulders...soft as a summer breeze...I had almost convinced myself that it couldn't be more than a dream. But he was real. He was SO real.
With a slow and steady push, Brody rolled on top of me, and I was able to wrap both of my arms around his sleek waist all the way. He was propped up on his elbows, his hands reaching up to play with my hair as our kissing became more passionate. I felt his hips pushing down on me, relieving a bit of his sexual frustration and increasing mine. This was my chance. My very first chance to really see what it feels like. I've gotta do it. I've...I've gotta touch it. I allowed my hands to slide down the velvety curve of Brody's lower back...and even though I got nervous as I reached the waistband of his soccer shorts...his soft moan gave me the courage to continue.
I started with just one hand. Just letting it lay, palm down, on his right cheek. He rolled his hips into me, and I heard myself whimper from the the pressure of his feather light weight on top of me. Then I let both of my hands feel the round globes tense and flex beneath my fingertips. I was breathless at this point, and my heels dug into the mattress as my knees bent slightly to allow his hardness and mind to grind together in a seductive union that caused us both to moan into each other's kiss. And, as if by instinct alone, I flexed my fingers and gripped the bubbled cheeks of his ass tightly, pulling it further into me, my legs now wrapping around his as our building passion became more of an aggravation. Our bodies were locked together in a moment of heated desire...but we were searching for more. New ways to connect. A deeper mode of expression. And even though I was tingling from head to toe...Brody and I struggled to become one.
My hands began to slip and slide over the material of his thin shorts as Brody's humping became more intense, and soon, we had to break our kiss just to hold on to one another. Brody put his head over my shoulder, and kissed my neck as kissed his shoulder and tried to mash as much of his body into me as I could. And then, in an even bolder move...I let my hands move up, and crawl underneath his shorts and underwear to finally touch his ass without any barrier. Omigod...it was sooooo smooth, and soooo tight. And his movements began to lower the shorts over the rise of his delicious mounds, until he stopped and actually began to pull them off. I looked down to see glimpses of a hard pink shaft as Brody worked his legs to get his shorts off all the way. Once he was naked, he was back on top of me, and began to kiss me even harder than before. Our lips, our tongues, our skin contact...with Brody, the orgasm wasn't just the big finish. It was the entire experience.
I couldn't believe that he was naked! I couldn't believe that I couldn't SEE! GOD, did I ever want to see!
He was completely nude, and I still had my jeans on like an idiot! But I couldn't mentally kick myself too much, because the feeling of touching soft bare skin...no matter where my hand landed on Brody's sexy bod...was too distracting for any negative thoughts to get through.
It was a few minutes when we had to literally come up for air, but even though Brody rolled to the side, we kept kissing He laid on his back while my hand rubbed a small circle over his chest. We kissed until our TONGUES almost hurt. And as my hand traveled down, stopping only to feel a different sense of friction as my fingers traveled through a small silken patch of dark brown hair, I found myself coming into contact with a living part of him that I once thought was so out of my reach. The heat coming from it warmed the back of my hand, and it was pulsing and throbbing frantically...begging for my attention. When I first wrapped my fingers around its fevered surface, it nearly jumped right out of my hand, eager beyond all control. Brody leaned into me, and pushed his hips up off the mattress as he buried his face in the nape of my neck again. He yelped out loud, almost as if in desperation...and all I was doing was holding it.
I looked down at it. Standing strong and proud in my tight grip. And I lowered my hand just a little bit as it swelled up even tighter and throbbed again. A soft whine escaped Brody's lips, and he squirmed a bit from the intense pleasure rolling through his sweet young body. I let my hand travel up with a painfully slow stroke, and watched how it responded as I neared the sensitive tip. There was a growing 'slickness' at the top of the shaft, covering the whole circumcised helmet. And as it wet my fingers with its warm nectar, I teased the delicate ridge of his cut by giving a few short strokes there. I could feel Brody sucking hard on my neck, and as good as it felt...there was something else that I wanted to try.
I was afraid to ask. I was afraid to go forward without asking. But...my mouth watered for the taste. I started by kissing his bare chest, keeping my eyes on the prize below. Brody caressed my back with one hand, and tangled the fingertips of his other hand in my hair. I sucked on one of his erect nipples for a moment or two. They were so small, but pointed up with such excitement. I closed my mouth on the space around them, sucking on his chest as I let my tongue run circles around the pointy nip. Hard as a thumbtack as it was further stimulated by the friction of my taste buds.
Then I kissed the area between his nipples and his navel. Right over his breadbasket, where his heaving breaths caused those elusive stomach muscles of his to show themselves once again. When my tongue dipped into his shallow belly button..Brody's legs wiggled and he humped my hand even harder. His shaft spasmed a bit, and for a second I thought it was about to be over, but he somehow managed to hold it back. I honestly think he was too turned on to explode. His body was on overload. I didn't have much time left.
"Brody....?" I said, just above a whisper.
"Don't ask, Zack. Please? If you say it out loud, I'm gonna shoot." His strangled voice and squinted eyes looked so cute from where I was. He was using everything he had to hold off...but I could tell he only had a few sensitive touches left in him before the floodgates opened. And I wanted to get my second popsicle of the day.
I moved lower in the bed, and felt Brody press down on my head while his other hand reached up behind him to grab the pillow beneath his head. He wiggled his butt a little, and I took an experimental swipe of his tip with the flat of my tongue. He gasped and shook, his legs kicking out for a moment before bending at the knees and opening even wider to give me better access. The taste was divine. Warm and candy sweet. So I took a deep breath, as did Brody...and I opened up to allow his heated meat to slide into my mouth.
I took him into my warmth, half way down on the first try, and went back to the top. Brody's legs were quaking beneath me, and I used one of my hands to lovingly rub the inside of his thigh as I tasted more of his juices pour out of his rapidly swelling tip. How could something so hard be so soft at the same time? How can his body temperature maintain a heat like this? I went down again, this time sucking him deep until I was almost all the way at the bottom of his six inch shaft. "Unnnnghhh....Jesus..." He gasped, and pushed his hips up some more. My nose being so close to his balls, I could smell a hotter version of Brody's natural scent, mixed with the alluring fragrance of soap and aroused flesh. There was no other smell like it in the world. I was enchanted by it, and felt his legs wiggle even more violently as I slowly dragged my lips back to the top again, licking circles around the head.
You know, there was a time when I worried that I would never be able to do this right. But when lost in the heat of the moment like this...it was like my body already knew what to do. I could do no wrong, and neither could he. I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe HE'S here! My God...what kind of magical door had I opened?
Brody humped himself up into my face, and I took as much of him as I could. His legs spasmed, his thin stomach collapsed beneath me, and then he became rigid...holding his breath as every muscle in his body worked to fight the inevitable release. And then...a hard pulse began to rip through his hardness, and after three 'thumps'...my mouth was suddenly flooded with a much stronger tasting release than the sugary offerings he was giving me before. Brody's body twisted to the side, and he bit his bottom lip hard as he held on to the pillow for dear life! He whimpered in a high pitched tone, his voice cracking as the strain of his powerful climax took complete control of his actions
My mouth was taking jet after jet of hot splashes that I was afraid to swallow for fear that the next jet would come out before I recovered. So I waited until my mouth was full, and then swallowed it all at once...coming back to taste the last few dribblings as his sensitive shaft quivered between my lips. Feeling Brody's body move beneath me, knowing that he was having the eruption of his LIFE right here in my mouth...was too much for me to take. I pressed my hardness into the mattress and whined myself as I exploded in my pants, grinding the bed and sucking Brody for all I was worth. I went CRAZY on his hardness, feeling as though I was milking my own orgasm out of myself...and neither one of us could breathe when it was over. It took a while for us to even speak. And even though I was a 'mess' down below...my body shivered with a level of delight that it had never experienced before.
It was only our first time...and as I felt him petting my hair slightly with his hand..I knew that it would be far from our last.