- Author
- 07/02/2011
- 680 Words
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- 17 Comments
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
A Family Wedding - 1. A Family Wedding
I always wonder if people know what they are doing when they decide to get married. Consider the expense, the choices, the family, and the shredded friendships that will be left after the decisions are made by the bride and groom. After all, where else but at a wedding can you find two families who hate each other brought together, in the house of God, for a happy occasion? In plain English, be prepared for a long battle that will leave many people bloodied and dead.
The war of the families begin with the choosing of the wedding party. Are both families well represented? Will everyone look good in their tuxedos and gowns? Has anyone told the Groom's mother what colors are in the wedding party or what color the Bride's mother is wearing? What do you mean it is not important for her to know anything?!?! Oh, it is the Bride's day. So much for the first round; remember there are many people involved in creating the happy event, which will end in forever separating the Bride and Groom from their respective families. This is just the beginning of the war! Prepare for round two and pray you survive till the end.
Round two, or, where is the reception and how many people can I invite? The choices of a hall is like pulling teeth from a rabid animal - stupid and wrong no matter how you attempt to do it. Is the hall close, because the Bride's mother gets car sick. Can you afford it? If not, the Groom's mother has offered to pay for it. Then comes the question of how many people can the hall hold? Don't face the future in-laws with a blank look when this question comes up! If you do, be aware that it is like waving a red flag in front of a mad bull. Remember that the Bride's mother wants to invite her cousin Andrew, who has been married three times and is twice removed, with his eight children who range in age from thirty to seven years old. Meanwhile the Groom's mother has pared down her list from forty to thirty. She just wants to know why the best man, who is the Groom's brother, must come from her list, while all of the Bride's sisters, including the Matron of Honor, must come from the Bride and Groom's list? Prepare for the next round while digging yourself a bomb shelter now.
Round three, which consists of the battle over band or disc jockey! The Groom decides, as a surprise to all, that an Elvis impersonator will introduce the wedding party and sing three songs (rather badly of course) before a disc jockey takes over. You can hear a pin drop in the sudden silence, or was that the sound of hearts stopping? Please stand by for the fourth and final round of the Wedding.
Round four starts with the bombs tossed by the Groom to his family. He has announced that his wife-to-be is all that matters on his wedding day. In order to make her, and by extension her mother, happy he has changed the hall which his mother has already paid for. Don't be upset yet, his bomb shells have only begun to fall. The Groom has decided that he, and not his parents, will decide whom they can invite to HIS wedding. Remember that bomb shelter you were told to build? Well now is the time to hide in it. The Groom's final bomb is of course the statement:
"If you don't like what we are doing, you don't have to come!"
Weddings are such happy events. Women dream of them from the time they get their first Barbie doll. Men smile and think of the life that will come with their newly married status. Families who have been through them pray to hear the word elopement from the rest of their children. Siblings wonder if their weddings will be better. My advice is to enjoy being single for as long as you can.
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Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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