Kiss Me. Love Me. Hurt Me. - 1. Chapter 1

I woke up to the sun in my face. This meant that I was in Jesse’s room. I looked over and saw his face; that beautiful face. I carefully lifted the blankets and looked under. I was naked and with a giant boner. Great. It didn’t matter that Jesse was my boyfriend. It was still embarrassing.

I remembered that it was the first day of school. We made it to junior year. I got up carefully so that way I didn’t wake Jesse. I tiptoed to my room. I thought that Timmy was asleep, but he wasn’t.

“If you’re going to sneak into Jesse’s every night to have sex, can you at least make sure that I can’t hear it.”
said Timmy

“Oh my God, you heard us?” I asked.

“Jamie, these walls are paper thin. You just better hope that grandma, dad, and Anderson were knocked out cold before you decided to go at it like bunnies.” said Timmy.

“Shit, great! I do not need this right now. It’s the first day of school.”

“It is? Well, good luck with that. Now, I need to get back to sleep.” said Timmy.

I gathered the things I needed for the shower and I took it. The warm water put me in a daze. I was so worried that my dad or his dad or my fucking grandmother for God’s sake heard us having sex.

I realized that I was taking way too long in the shower and got out. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went back into my room. I quietly got dressed so that way I wouldn’t wake Timmy again and then I went back to Jesse’s room.

He was gathering his stuff for his shower. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, morning.” he said. He pulled me in close and kissed me.

“Listen, we need to talk about last night.” I said.

“Last night was…great!” he said with a grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, it was but…Timmy told me that he heard us.”

“He did? Oh shit. What if my dad heard?”

“That’s exactly what my problem is.” I said. “What if they freak out or something?”

“Well, we can only hope that they don’t. Other than that, there’s not much that we can do.”

“How can you be so calm?” I asked. “I’m over here going crazy and you’re acting like our parents just caught us playing video games when we were supposed to be doing our homework.”

“Jamie, I love you and we made love last night. I’m no where near ashamed of that.”

I took a deep breath. “You’re right. We love each other. Why shouldn’t we make love?”

“Exactly, now I’ve got to take a shower or we’ll be late for school.”

He left the room and I went downstairs. I served some cereal and poured some milk over it. My dad came in from doing work. He sat down next to me.

“Morning dad,” I said sort of nervously in between bites of cereal.

“Morning” he said back. He seemed to shift in his chair. “Son, we n-need to talk.”

Shit. This is what I was afraid of. He heard us last night and now he’s going to give me “The Talk”.

“What about?” I asked innocently.

“We need to talk about you and Jesse.”

“Before you say anything, I know what you’re going to say.”

“You do?” asked dad.

“Yeah…Timmy told me that he heard Jesse and me…uh…you know. You did too, didn’t you?”

“Yes…I did and…I understand that you care about each other, but…I just think that you’re a little young to be having sex.”

“Dad…how do you think the whole thing with Jesse and I started? It’s too late for the ‘you’re too young to have sex’ speech.”

This conversation was surprisingly less awkward than I thought that it would be.

“I just…I just don’t want you getting yourself into something that you’re not ready for.”

“I’m not stupid dad. I wouldn’t sleep with Jesse if I thought that I wasn’t ready for it.”

“Good. Just…be safe, I guess. Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. I love you, son. Remember that.”

Dad got up and went back to work. I finished my cereal in time for Jesse to come down and serve a bowl for himself.

“Did I hear your dad?” asked Jesse.

“Yeah, he heard.” I said.

He sighed and sat next to me. “That’s really embarrassing. I can’t believe that he actually heard us having sex.”

“I know. So, maybe we should, I don’t know, keep our…intimate moments until we’re by ourselves.”

Jesse smiled. “I think you’re right.”

Jesse finished his cereal and we were off to school. It was the first day of our junior year.

Towards the end of the summer, Jesse and I started to hang out with Zeke a lot more. Jesse was actually starting to like him. It took him a while, but he was getting there. We also started to hang out with Chloe, the lesbian we met at the coffee house. She was only one year above us in school. That would make her a senior.

Jesse and I met Chloe and Zeke in the commons area. There is where we also met Becca, Emma, Paige, Rex, and Ryan. I think I was the most shocked that we actually got all of these people to hang out together. Rex and Emma have even started a little back and forth flirting game. We all secretly hope that they will get together.

We were known throughout school as “The A Group”. We were the most popular kids in school mostly in part to the fact that Jesse and I were the first out gay couple in the school and our friends, by association, our friends were popular.

“Did any of you guys get Mr. Foster for US History?” asked Becca. “I hear he’s the best teacher for that.”

“I did” said Zeke.

“Me too” I said.

“No one else?” asked Becca. Everyone shook their heads no.

“Looks like it’s you and me J.” said Zeke.

“Cool,” I said.

“Do you two love birds have any classes together?” asked Paige.

“Um Science and…” Jesse started.

“Home Ec.” I finished.

“Uh, did you get Mrs. Kramer for Home Ec.?” asked Ryan. “She’s a major bitch.”

“No, we got Ms. Landon.” said Jesse.

“Oh, I had her.” said Chloe. “She was cool.”

The bell rang and we all went to our individual homerooms. There, my homeroom teacher Mr. Jensen, who is also the coach of the boys swimming team, announced that they would be having tryouts for the swimming team after school. I thought that that might be a cool thing to try. Hopefully none of the jocks will have a problem with the gay thing.
He asked if any of would like to sign up and I raised my hand. He hesitated, but then brought the sign up sheet to me. I signed my name.

“Tryouts are from three to six.” said Mr. Jensen

When I saw Jesse in second period science, I had to tell him the news.

“Guess what?” I asked as I sat next to him.

He pecked me a kiss on the lips. “What?” he asked.

“I signed up for the swim team tryouts.”

“That’s great. When are they?”

“They’re today after school at three.” I said.

“Can I come and watch or is it exclusive?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you can come anyway and if you can’t stay you can just go home I guess.”

“Yeah, that sounds cool. I’m so proud of you.”

I smiled. He gave me a warm feeling inside. “Thanks. I hope that you can come to the tryouts. I think I’ll be too nervous without you there.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. As long as you can swim fast.” said Jesse.

“I’m a pretty fast swimmer.” I said.

“Then there’s no reason for you to be nervous.”

* * *

Jesse was so proud of me for trying out for the swim team that, at lunch, he told every single person at our lunch table.

“Hey, Jamie’s trying out for the swim team.” said Jesse.

“Jesse, you don’t have to tell everyone. I haven’t even made the team yet. Tryouts haven’t even started yet for Christ’s sake.”

“I don’t care. I’m too proud of you. I’ve never had the guts to try out for any sports let alone such a revealing one. Rex and Ryan always bug me to go for football, but I don’t really like football.”

The fact that he was so proud of me felt good. It felt like, I don’t know, I felt complete.