Kiss Me. Love Me. Hurt Me. - 4. Chapter 4

About an hour later, I felt someone sit on the couch with me. I looked up and it was Anderson.

“Oh, sorry Anderson…I was…”

“No need to explain. Timmy told me that Jesse broke up with you.”

“Yeah,” I said with my head down. “Did he tell you why?”

“No,” said Anderson. “You can tell me if you want, but there’s no need.” He paused. “I’m sorry that you broke up. You made my son really happy. If it wasn’t for seeing my son so happy with you, I don’t think I would’ve ever accepted that Jesse is really gay.”

“I obviously didn’t make him happy enough.”

“I doubt that that’s true. Like I said, I’ve seen you together. No matter how…uncomfortable it may make me or anyone else, that was love and I’m sure that Jesse will see that sooner or later.”

“I hope you’re right.” I said.

Anderson patted me on the back. “If my son has any sense at all, he’ll see what he’s got right in front of him.”

* * *

Jesse left his car so I drove it to school the next day. Chloe met me in the parking lot.

“Where’s Jesse?” she asked.

“He’s in Connecticut with his mother.” I said. “He broke up with me.”

“Oh my God! I’m sorry. If I hadn’t told you to tell him, you two might still be together.”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for.” I said.
“He saw Zeke and me kissing. I went to tell him and he already bolted; all the way to the east coast. I can’t believe he had to move almost three thousand miles to get away from me.”

“Don’t think like that. I’m sure he’s just got to think things through. He’ll be back and in your arms in no time.”

“If you say so. I know Jesse. These kind of things are hard for him to get over.”

“Let’s just go and have some fun with our friends. It’ll take your mind off of Jesse.”

“Yeah right, you know how nosy Becca and Paige are. Emma is the one that we don’t really have to worry about, and Rex and Ryan…I don’t know. They’re gonna want to know why their friend is suddenly gone.”

“You’re right.”

“And don’t even get me started with Zeke. If I even see that guy, I’m going to smack the shit out of him.”

“Great, not only does your boyfriend break up with you, but you’re going to get suspended for fighting.”

“Just keep that creep away from me and I won’t get suspended.”

Chloe and I walked into school. The first person we saw was Becca.

“So, where’s Jesse?” asked Becca.

“He went to visit his mother in Connecticut.” I answered.

“So is that why you look like your puppy just died?” asked Becca.

I grinned. “Yeah”

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and it was Zeke.

“Hey, J.” said Zeke.

I could feel all of the anger from loosing Jesse bubbling up to the surface. It was entirely Zeke’s fault and I could feel my knuckles clench. The next thing I knew, Zeke was on the floor and my knuckles went from clenching to throbbing.

“You fucking shit bag!” I screamed at him. “Because of you, I’ve lost the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Don’t blame me because you liked the kiss.” said Zeke holding his jaw, still on the floor.

The next thing I know, security is taking me away.

* * *

“What in the hell were you thinking?!” screamed dad.

“You’ve never got into fights before…never. All of a sudden you’re punching some pore kid out.”

“You’re lucky Zeke doesn’t want to press charges.” said Timmy.

“I’m sorry. I just saw that smug look on his face and I was so pissed off that he was so happy when I’m so fucking miserable.”

“Don’t blame Zeke because Jesse broke up with you, Jamie.” said Timmy

“But it’s his fault.”

“No, it’s your fault. You kissed Zeke and Jesse saw. That’s your fault. You shouldn’t even been kissing Zeke to begin with. You shouldn’t have even been any where near Zeke.”

“But he was my friend. How was I supposed to avoid him?”

“You’re grounded for a week.” said dad.

“I don’t care. As long as Jesse isn’t here, nothing matters to me anymore.” I got up and left. I went to my room. A few minutes later, Timmy walked in. “If you’re going to rip into me again, can you just wait until I feel a little better.”

“I came to apologize. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I know how hard you’re taking the break up and…I’m just disappointed in you. I thought you had better sense than this.”

“Great, not only am I a horrible boyfriend, but I’m a disappointment as a little brother.”

“That’s not what I meant, Jamie. I love you, but you’re making a mess out of your life and I’m scared for you.”

“I just want Jesse back, Timmy. Without him, nothing makes sense.” I felt myself start to cry. “Jesse was like air to me and right now it like I’m struggling to live because my lungs are collapsing.”

Timmy sat next to me and put his arm around me. I rested my head onto him and my tears stained his t-shirt.

The next morning was Saturday morning. I woke up to an empty upstairs. Once I finished looking through the upstairs I went back into my room. I looked out of the window and didn’t see my dad or Anderson anywhere outside.

I made my way downstairs. I still had no shirt on and was just in my sweats. I looked around.

“Dad? Grandma? Timmy? Anderson?” I called one by one.

I walked into the kitchen and there sat Jesse. I stopped like I’d just seen a ghost.

“What are you doing back so soon?” I asked

“Are you not happy to see me?” he asked. He stood up.

“No, of course I am. I just didn’t expect you back so soon.” I said. “What made you come back?”

“Timmy…he called me saying how much of a mess you were.” said Jesse.

“He did?” I asked.

“He told me what you said.”

“What is that?” I asked.

“He told me that you said that I was like air to you and without me you were suffocating.”

I could feel myself blush. “Yeah, I said that.” I said while lightly kicking the floor.

“Did you mean it?” he asked.

“Of course I did. I love you, Jesse.”

“What about Zeke?”

“Zeke…Zeke doesn’t mean anything to me. He kissed me.”

“But you had your hand on his head.”

I sighed. “Okay…I’m going to admit something to you, but I want you to know that it changes nothing about how I feel about you.”

“Okay” said Jesse.

“I admit that, to me, Zeke is attractive and I did enjoy kissing him, but other than that…you’re the only one that I want Jesse.”

“So…what? Am I not attractive to you?”

“Of course you are, Jesse. You’re the most attractive guy that I’ve met in my entire life, but Zeke, I guess, just reminds me of the guys I used to be attracted to back home.”

Silence fell between us. Jesse looked as though he was thinking everything through.

“Jamie, you have to promise me that nothing is going on between you and Zeke.”

“Is me being suspended promise enough for you?” I asked.

“Why are you suspended?”

“I punched Zeke in the face.” I said. “I promise you on my life that there’s nothing going on between me and Zeke.”

Jesse inched his way towards me slowly. He put his hand on my cheek and started to rub it.

“I missed you so, so much.” said Jesse. He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me close into a kiss.

“One question,” I said after the kiss. “Where is everyone?”

“I asked them to give us a few hours to work things through. They all went to Jakes.”

“So…we’re alone?” I asked with my eyebrow arched up and a grin.

“Wanna go upstairs?” he asked.

“You don’t even have to ask.” I said.