Glimpses (Ugly Davey) - 2. Promise

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I left the library in a hurry. I was half way to the dorms before I realized that I had left my jacket inside. I barely even noticed the chill seeping through my bones, though a part of me knew that it was extremely cold tonight, especially since it was nearing 10 PM on a February night.

I couldn’t think clearly right now. It felt like a billion bees were buzzing in my head and it was all I could do to concentrate on the path back to my dorm in the dark. UBC was a large campus and not lit the brightest in some areas.

I stumbled over a ridge in the sidewalk but managed to stop myself from falling face first on the concrete. Everything had been fine just half an hour ago. Amy had texted me to ask to meet in the library, and never one to miss a chance to spend time with her; I had ditched Davey in an instant to meet her. Looking forward to keeping her company while she studied, I had completely been blindsided by the reason for which she wanted to meet.

Oh God! Just thinking of what she had told me had me sweating in my thin sweatshirt regardless of the freezing weather. I hadn’t stayed with Amy long after she had made her announcement. I knew I should have, should have been there for her, but I just couldn’t. My mind had felt like it would explode, I had been overwhelmed. I panicked. I couldn’t comfort Amy when I was lost myself.

I needed to get my head grounded before I could do anything else.

I needed someone to help me make sense of it all.

I needed Davey.

Davey always knew what to do. He would know exactly how to deal with this.

I could trust Davey.

I made it to our dorm and took the stairs to the second floor to our room. I was shaking by now. From the cold or from the shock I couldn’t tell. I burst into our room and then slammed the door shut behind me.

“What the fuck!” screamed Davey suddenly jarred awake from where he had fallen asleep at his desk while studying. “Holy shit Rick! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Davey rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

I couldn’t say anything. My mouth opened and closed a few times but nothing came out. The shaking got worse.

I probably looked worse than I thought because suddenly Davey was jumping out of his chair and rushing towards me.

“Oh my god. Rick what’s wrong?” He grabbed my hand, but then hissed at its coldness. “Fuck Rick you’re freezing! Where have you been?”

Davey piled on the questions while he pushed me towards my bed and wrapped my comforter around me. He then turned up the heat on the thermostat before returning to sit by my side.

“What’s wrong Rick?” I could see the terrible concern etched into Davey’s face.

My shaking had mostly subsided so I tried to speak again.

“A-Amy…” I managed to say.

“What about Amy? Is she OK?” Davey asked while rubbing my back in soothing circles.

“S-she’s…she said…she’s pregnant.”

Davey’s hand stilled in its movement before he let out a deep breath. “OK,” Davey sighed, “pregnant. We can deal with this, Rick.”

That’s when my control shattered.

“Fuck Davey! We can’t deal with this!” I shouted as I got up of my bed and whirled to face him.

“How am I supposed to deal with this? We’re twenty years old! We’re not ready to have a baby! For god’s sake, we still have two years before we even graduate!”

Davey stood up while holding his hands out as if to surrender. “It’s going to be OK Rick. There are other ways around this. If you two don’t want the baby, there’s always abortion.”

“No! Amy said she’s keeping it,” I said as the truth started to hit me. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, my face buried in my hands. “A dad, Davey. I’m going to be a dad.” I felt the tears slide down my face, I felt so lost. “My parents are going to kill me Davey. I don’t know how this happened. We were always so careful. Never did it without condoms. I’m not ready to be a father.“

Davey crouched down beside me and took my face between his hands. He wiped off my tears before running his fingers through my hair. “We’ll do this Rick. I’ll be there with you through everything. You and Amy have my full support. We’ll deal with your parents. They might be angry for a while, but they love you, and how can they not love your child? Especially since it will be a child born out of love. You love Amy, don’t you?”

I sniffled before nodding. “Yeah, she’s the one Davey. She really is.”

“See that’s good. Did you tell her that? Did you tell her that you’ll support her in this and not abandon her?”

I felt the tears start flowing again. “N-no,” my voice shook. “I panicked and I ran. Oh god she probably hates me now. I should have been with her, held her. But I ran like a coward because I couldn’t think.”

“Amy can never hate you. She loves you too Rick. Just talk to her tomorrow morning, show her that you’ll be with her every step of the way. I promise Rick, it’ll all work out.”

And that was exactly what I needed to hear. Davey always knew. So I hugged my best friend and let all of my fears and worries of the future pour out. I cried on Davey’s shoulder knowing that after the weakness of tonight, I would have the strength to deal with everything that came in my way.

I knew everything would be fine, because Davey had promised.