Seventeen - 9. Chapter 9

"Which ones?"

"Never mind, found them!" I answered as I slipped a loose fit pair of CK jeans over my hips, just so a small amount of my boxer shorts were showing. Grabbing a white T, I ran down the stairs for the front door, grabbing my keys off the hall table.

"Whoah! Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Mom asked. “I want you to start looking at colleges, you graduate this year and you can never be too prepared!"

"Jane, coffee, back for dinner, I’ll do whatever you want then." I replied, slipping my shoes on.

"Well you'll be the only one; Dad's been called into surgery and I'm leaving for New York this afternoon."

"I’m more than capable of cooking for myself,” I answered back reached for the door.

"Well, actually you'll be alone for the weekend."

I was confused; Mom was in New York for the weekend, but Dad didn't work consecutive weekends and this was his weekend off.

"So I was thinking you could stay with Brand and Jane’s for the weekend. Your dad's following me out tonight... he thinks he's surprising me," Mom giggled, a dreamy look came into her eyes.

God she knows everything! Wait a minute... she wants me to stay with the twins... I thought.

"I've already phoned Frank. He said its ok, so I guess I'll see you Monday." Mom said, kissing my cheek and shooing me out of the door. "Come on, you were in a rush before!"

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"You're late!" Jane stated pointedly.

"Sorry," I answered as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Mom kept me talking. Apparently I'm staying with you over the weekend!"

"Yeah, found out this morning," she replied, smiling as she flipped her cell closed.

"Lukas?" I asked, smirking as I nodded at the phone.

Jane didn't so much reply as made a waspish sniffing noise and looked anywhere but at me. I proceeded to burst out laughing.

"Of course it is. Don't ask such silly questions... Listen, I think we might start seeing each other, like seriously."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" she gushed.

"You move quick, I only spoke to you on Sunday and it's, what, been five days?" I couldn't help smiling; I was happy for her, even with stuff on my mind. "So... did you talk to Brandon? I mean, if I'm meant to be staying the weekend, it's gonna get a little awkward, right?"

"Yeah, I did talk to him..."

As she began to explain what happened I could see her begin to drift off, like she was replaying the whole incident in her head...

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Knock! Knock! I rapped on my brother's bedroom door.

"B! B let me in?" I pleaded through the door joining our two bedrooms. We had always been close, refusing to be separated; we even shared our best friend. Yet now he'd locked me out and it felt that not only was I locked from his room but out of his life. I loved my brother; he was, and no matter how clichéd it sounds, the other half of me. Since Brett's birthday though, B had been in a strange mood, wandering around deep in thought, yet now he was almost emotionless; he seemed empty and it was a scary thing to see.

"B! Please? I'm not leaving until you talk to me!"

The door cracked open and I saw only half of a dishevelled face before my brother turned and climbed back into his bed. As I entered his bedroom I wanted to laugh because he was cocooned in his quilt like he was in a child's fortress. It reminded me of all of the tree houses, secret dens, and forts that Brandon and Brett had built as kids and all of which I was excluded from due to my "cooties".

"Brandon?" I spoke softly as I sat on the edge of his bed, "B what's going on?"

"Nuffin!" he grumbled.

"Jesus, go and brush your teeth. When did you last clean them?" I scolded as I reached round to get B to face me.

"Umph!" He then slowly slid out of his cocoon to the sink in the corner of his room and began to half-heartedly brush his teeth.

"Oh, it must be bad... you're wearing pyjamas... are they...? Are they...?" I couldn't quite get my question out through giggling.

"Yea," he grunted back, "they're Power Rangers!"

I couldn't help laughing; they must have been 5 years old. How he still managed to fit in them was beyond me.

"Seriously though, we need to talk. Well, you need to tell me what the hell’s going on? I mean what's going on with you and Brett?"

B stopped brushing his teeth and turned to face me with a look of anguish, then bit his bottom lip. After bending to rinse he again turned to me, and without making eye contact he walked back over to the bed and sat next to me. Clasping his hands between his legs, he stared at his feet for what seemed an age before he finally cleared his throat. Looking into my eyes he took hold of my hand and he seemed to hold his lip firm to stop it trembling.

"I... I just..." he tried to speak, but failed. Exhaling loudly, he rolled his eyes at himself.

"It's OK. It's going to be just fine," I whispered into his ear as I wrapped my arms around him. I felt B's whole body sag. I knew that it was going to be hard for him to open up, so it was up to me to help him say what he was thinking.

"Firstly, I know that you don't, but Brett thinks you hate him. He needs to know you don't!" I started.

"Wh... h...a?" He pulled back, looking bewildered. "I... but I... tea! And I went round I mean... don't be stupid! Is he really that?" B again slumped into a pathetic pile and returned to staring at his feet.

"Well you'll have to explain that to him, and he won't be happy until he hears it from you. We could visit him later..." I began to say but B looked like a deer in the headlights when I suggested doing so.

"But I'm not ready to see him. I can’t!" he stated almost desperately.

"OK, well I'll tell him, but you'll have to speak to him soon. We've only got 5 weeks of summer left and we need to start having some fun!" I added to get a smile out of him. It didn't work; instead he looked guilty.

"Erm, sis... I'm leaving for grams and pop's on Thursday..."

"Oh?" I asked. I could feel my eyebrows rising. I was trying to keep a straight face but I wasn't happy with B; he was running away. He never ran away from a problem, yet here he was avoiding everyone.

"Well, we haven't seen them since Christmas and I could do with the break..." he mumbled.

"Ok, so this isn't just you being annoyed that Brett didn't tell you? Seriously you’re acting like a jilted lover or something, you’re both allowed secrets. Or is it Chris?" B visibly flinched at the mention of Chris' name. "You need to get over your vendetta against Joey, and you need to stop blowing this whole thing out of proportion, i was meant to be his girlfriend, remember?” I sighed. “You'll have to get to know him if they end up as boyfrien..."

"WHAT?!" B's face was turning an angry shade of red. "Brett can't go out with him!"

"Look B, calm down. I know that Lukas and Chris are Joey's brothers, but they've fallen out with him. Anyway, it's not like we're dating Joey."

"YOU'RE KIDDING ME! YOU'RE SEEING THE OTHER BROTHER?"

"Calm down, B!"

"Calm down? You're dating his brother!"

"Yes! Yes I am. In fact I'm running late to meet him cos I'm tryna cheer your miserable ass up!"

"Just go," Brandon said, rolling over and refusing to speak again.

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"He what?" I asked Jane.

"He reacted really badly. I didn't think it would be such a problem."

"No, no, no. I mean, he's gone?"

"Yea," Jane sighed. "He went earlier today. He didn't speak to me all week, and when I asked..."

"You didn't think to phone me? I could have come round... He just went without even saying goodbye?" I asked dejectedly, feeling miserable.

"I'm sorry, Brett but, well he wasn't talking to anyone, and I think it would have just made it worse." Jane took my hand in her own as she tried to reassure me.

"I don't know whether to be pissed or upset about him leaving" I stated.

"He won’t be away all summer. He just won’t last," Jane said, giving me a hopeful smile. "Besides, how'd your date go?" She tried changing the subject before I became more upset or angry.

I rolled my eyes at her obvious attempt but went along with it, not wanting to get worked up in a public place.

Apparently both of our dates with the Mariatti twins had gone well that week, and Jane and I spent the rest of the afternoon relaying the good points of our respective evenings, allowing me to put my issues with B to the back of my mind.

Since dreaming about Brandon and Chris I hadn't known what I was feeling; it was as if the little progress I'd made was thrown away and I'd taken one step forward and five back. I knew even more than I did before that I wanted B, I loved B, but I liked Chris, he was more exciting, not to mention available. I'd been stupid to have not denied my sexuality in front of B; being silent had ruined a friendship, and I was left with unresolved feelings and an inability to completely relax around Chris.

I realised that I would have to work my issues with Brand out on my own terms, I’d have to not look at him as someone I wanted to be with, but as my best friend, again. Chris was this amazingly cute guy; he was good looking, sweet, kind, and clever. He just wasn't Brandon, that’s what I had to get over.

With my new resolve to make a go of things with Chris, I just had to come out to my parents. Yea right! That was definitely one thing I wasn't ready for.

After our coffee date I went back to Jane’s place, she’d gone to make some snacks and I’d wandered through into Brandon’s room, sitting on his bed. So there I was in Brandon's room surrounded by all of his things; everything within the four walls reminded me of him, his weights in the corner, his chess set. I could never beat him. Rolling off of his bed, his scent still recognisable, I walked over to his trophy cabinet; there were awards, medals, and certificates from years of physical and academic achievements. Next to this was a stack of photo albums; flicking through I realised that the majority of the photos were of Brand and me. Occasionally Jane would be in one, or another family member would pop up. There were ones with other friends of ours, and even ones of B with his football team. Yet in most of them B and I were stood or sat or near one another with huge smiles plastered across our faces. It was proof that we were best friends. Flicking through, I was feeling both reminiscent and upset.

"Hey, how're you doin?" Came a familiar deep voice.

"Hi Frank. S'all good. How about you? You doin ok?" I replied.

The man who had been almost a second father throughout my childhood just chuckled. Even though he stood at about my height and had aged recently, he still looked like a drill sergeant, which made me feel like a child. Frank had raised the twins from the age of 13 when their mom had died of cervical cancer; it happened so fast that I don't really remember much about it. All I remember was that B and Jane had both spent a week at my house, both sharing my bed so that we were all close. Even though I was close to B, physically it wasn't sexual. I had to try and be there for them both.

"You know, your father was never a good liar and neither are you. I noticed something was up with B this past week or so... so you two have a fight? Your mom said something wasn't right," he continued, sitting on a computer chair.

I felt like a twelve year old, as if the "adults" had been discussing me, and I wasn't pleased.

"She's only worried about you, ya know?" He added.

"I guess," I huffed, "But I'm fine." I blatantly lied, although I think I was getting better at hiding it.

"Ok son. Well I'll leave you to it. G'nite."

"God, I need to get out of here," I said to myself once Frank had gone.

"Fancy going to a house party?" Jane said, appearing suddenly, and then leaning against the adjoining doorframe.

"Won't your dad be annoyed?" I asked.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides, I'm daddy's princess. I know how to wrap him round my finger" Jane smirked.

"Yes, BUT he'll blame ME!" I emphasized the "me", remembering how he had taken me into the den when Jane and I had first started "going out" and given me the "Don't push her into anything she's not ready for son" talk. Well I missed out "Or God so help me, I'll break your legs." I guess I should be glad that I wasn't straight and inadvertently knocked her up.

"Well, he just won't find out then will he? Besides, I told him we've split up, so he can meet Lukas," Jane said rather quickly.

"Woaaah! You're feeding him to the lions already?" I laughed.

"Dad isn't that bad..."

I just scoffed.

"Ok, fine, but I really like him. Anyway, party! It'll get you out of here, and I really wanna go. Pleaaase?" she whined.

"Who else is going? Lukas by any chance?"

"No, he's working, but, well according to Jessica, the whole gang should show up, so I guess it’s a good job really. Come on!" she said, flashing me a pleading smile.

She really was like a sister; she could wrap me round her little finger and used this to her advantage, so twenty minutes later we were leaving the O'Hara residence and heading to some party.

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"What the fuck is this?" I asked as we pulled up.

I'd been following a dirt road for about ten minutes and we were a fair way out, entering a pretty run down area. I pulled up across from a pretty crappy looking shack of a house. We were preceded by a huddle of guys in hoodies, listening to rap from their car. It was, however, drowned out by really loud rock music blaring from deep inside the bowels of the derelict shack.

The paint was peeling and what paint remained looked as though it had taken years of abuse from the elements. Windows were boarded and some were just smashed and left paneless. The guttering had collapsed and the front door looked rotten. What really set the house off was the loutish teens running around the yard. Two guys were kicking the collapsing picket fence over, whilst others were drinking from a keg. It was the perfect setting for a teen slasher. I swore at that point, if anyone vomited on me, I'd make sure it became the setting for a teen slasher.

"Oh my..." was Jane's reaction.

"No serious, what the fuck? It's Smack head chic or something!"

Jane remained silent.

"You're not seriously still thinking of going in there, are you?"

"Well if everyone else is...."

"Oh no! We're not going in," I said, starting the engine.

"No, wait!" Jane exclaimed, sounding surprised and intrigued. "It can't have been..."

As I put the car back in neutral Jane dove out and started towards the house, walking hurriedly whilst scanning the crowds of teens for something.

"Dammit!" I snapped under my breath, hitting my hands on the steering wheel.

I really didn't feel comfortable getting out of the car in front of all of all these drunken strangers. Not that there were hundreds of people in a big area; there were possibly forty or so, but I could see a few of the girls drunkenly and openly leering at me. The guys weren't so kind with their attention; they were staring me down or looking at me like I had killed their family. Maybe if their families vomited on me...
I felt like I was drowning in a sea of trailer trash, and Jane wasn't slowing down any as I ran after her.

Please don't go in there. Please don't go in. I was pleading with Jane silently as I ran after her. I guess I wasn't telepathically gifted as she went on in anyway.

"Jane!" I stupidly shouted out after her. She turned and waved for me to follow her, but as she did so her face dropped.

A number of guys had turned and were now calling out to Jane to come and sit on their faces, or suck their cocks, whilst the girls were eyeing her with dislike.

"Fuck!" I swore as I approached the doorway, about to follow Jane into the house.

"I can't believe this! Do they think I would actually respond to that?" Jane asked me over the blaring music, her face red with embarrassment and indignation.

"Well, why are we here? I mean, come on its full of, well, assholes," I said.

"I thought I..." Jane began to answer when the sort of girl that would appreciate the attention Jane was getting, threw her arms around me.

"Hey Baby! Stopped bein all pissy yet?" Van slurred into my ear as she swirled her tongue over my ear lobe.

"What the hell! What are you doin here?" I asked, pushing her away from me.

"God, you're worse than a woman! *hick* a woman," she said as she started to giggle at herself in a manic fashion.

As Jane and I started to walk off towards the rear of the house, passing a gang of guys chugging a keg, and five or so girls dancing like cheap hookers, Van staggered after us.

Peoples' conversations were varied, but all were slurred and most revolved around where the next case of beers was coming from, who would be fucking whom, and where you could buy pot from.

"Yea, that dudes in the kitchen, it’s some good shit he's got n all!" some guy coughed, taking hits from a reefer.

"He aint got no uppers then?" his buddy replied, which made me want to get the hell out of there. As if I didn't already.

Reaching the staircase leading upstairs, I felt a hand grab my belt, turning I realised that Van had been following us. I tried to pull away but as she grabbed onto me, she fell, pulling me with her. We landed under the stairs into a dank almost cupboard with yellowing paper and rotting wood.

"Urgh!"
"Umph!" We both grunted as we hit the ground.

"I think she's had too much of something," some guy choked out as he was taking a hit on a joint. A second guy standing with him began to laugh.

"What the hell?" I asked, losing my temper as I tried to get up. Jane hadn’t noticed me fall and was continuing through the crowd.

Van just slurred some incomprehensible blather and pulled herself up, using me as support. As she got to her knees she cupped my balls in her hand, staring up into my face.

"Howza bbowt it bug, big boyyy?"

"I never thought highly of you, but Christ... I'd have thought you'd have higher standards! I mean what the hell are you doing here?" I said, pushing her hand and face from my crotch.

"Oh, wuteverv, I spose you're here to shee your new breast fend... best friend! Well, the two fags are back there somewhere," she spat and pointed into the adjoining room. Turning to leave, she paused and turned back to me with a wicked smile. "I know something you don't!" Van giggled and staggered off round towards the foot of the stairs.

"What the hell?" I asked, reaching Jane. "And anyway, WHY are we here?"

"I thought I saw... Oh never mind!" Jane replied. Reaching for her cell, she marched into the next room, looking for somewhere quieter to use it.

As I followed her I barged into the back of her, not realising she'd stopped.

"Sup?" I asked as she tensed.

Concerned something bad was about to happen, I scanned the room and saw what had made her come to such a halt.

"Lukas?" Jane asked in shock.