The Travellers - 5. Chapter 5 Roots and Rebellion

In which Collin considers his position in case Kyle should join them, finding the answers in his cultural roots, and in which Jamie starts his private rebellion against the land gentry, in the process unchaining Kyle from the shackles of factual slavery.

Collin wasn’t overwhelmed with enthusiasm when Jamie excitedly and tempestuously suggested that Kyle could move with them. But he didn’t want to hurt the boy’s feelings and promised him to take it into consideration. There was enough time for that. As long as Rover was ill, they weren’t going anywhere.

The day after the plan wasn’t mentioned. But when Kyle came by in the evening, as he had promised, to treat the horse something unperceivably changed. When he saw the boy and was impressed, even enchanted, by him, Collin started to doubt his earlier opinion.

He couldn’t find sleep that night. Jamie had nestled himself snugly against his body and was sound asleep, exhausted by another day of hard work. But Collin just stared at the ceiling, a thousand thoughts flashing through his mind, considering all pros and cons.

There was a purely practical negative item to be considered: it was an extra mouth to feed. Besides, he saw another problem looming, a problem which involved him in a very direct way.

Yes, he had fallen in love head over heels when he looked into the dark brown eyes of the boy, that he picked up in the Northumbrian moors. His love had only become stronger and stronger, with each passing day. But he also saw the looks in the boy’s eyes the previous night. They told him that he had fallen deeply in love with that beautiful local boy. And even worse: when that other boy came by to treat Rover, his eyes told the same story!

There was nothing he could do about his feelings: he felt threatened. Another one had come between Jamie and him. It didn’t seem the wisest thing to let this other one just hop on his wagon and move along with them. It might fuel the love between them, leaving him as an outsider out in the cold. The ever-increasing distance might separate him from his great love. And all that would be happening in his own wagon. But…should it really go that way?

There was an even darker scenario possible. Jamie had no obligations to him whatsoever. What would the boy do if he flatly denied to take the village boy with them? There was a fair chance that he might collect his few belongings, leave the camp and stay in the village with his new-found love. The results would be the same: Collin would still be on his own, standing in the cold. It seemed an unsolvable dilemma: or he agreed that the boy would travel with them, which might undermine his role as lover and beloved. Or he might reject the whole idea, which would actually pose no threat to his role. No, there wasn’t any role left any longer!

“Ye’re caught between a rock and a hard place, boy”, he muttered softly.

He gazed at the clock…three o’clock! Almost painfully slow another line of thought crept in his mind.

“But…”, he said to himself, “why can’t three people love another? Isn’t it possible to love the both of them and why can’t they love one another and me as well?”

Confused he shook his head. Was that allowed? But...why not? Socially he was on the seamy side of society already, so a bit lower wouldn’t harm him. One of the wise lessons of his grandfather came in his mind:

“Consider life as a hard, unyielding piece of wood. While working on it cracks and fissures will appear. But only you can shape it the way your spirit wants it to be. No one else can do that for you nor has anyone the right to force you to do it in shapes this other person demands. It is your masterpiece, but you will never see it finished!”

So, where was the problem? Was it the law or was it Christian morality? In other words: was it the Ruler or was it the Church?

Collin didn’t have much school, but during his wanderings he read much. He hadn’t understood all he had read, but what he did grasp answered the questions that kept him awake this night.

He found the question about law and ruler the easiest to answer. As far as he was concerned the ruler had a perfect right on his own opinions and convictions, but nobody had invested the divine right in him to enforce his convictions upon other people. He had appropriated that divine right for himself and ruled by laws that Collin did not accept as the only truth.

And Christianity? What was Christianity? It was a vague concept, some local religion, which was born in the Middle East from the cultural requirements in that area in its own period of time. The only problem was, that it was able to propagate its concept by sheer violence, by sword and fire. And when it was established in the western world it started to rape and violate the corner-stones of its own teachings, like mercy and neighborly love and developed in just another power-hungry, suppressive system in the moral, social and political sense.

In Scotland both systems had combined forces. The secular ruler ruled through the nobility. In that way he had a strong position to keep the poor masses under control. The nobility took care of the economic aspects by exploiting the people through a feudal system in what resulted in a suppression that looked like slavery. The Church was a faithful and eager ally in this by keeping the same masses stupid and docile by enforcing the rigid shackles of morality, so that only few of them might consider an uprising. Because not only the King would punish them, but God himself would punish them as well! Any attempt to shake off the yoke would bring them eternal damnation.

Where did all this leave him? He had nothing to do with the originally Jewish moral rules that Christianity had proclaimed as being the only righteous ones. Besides, he was not Jewish. He was a Scotsman and as such a direct descendant of the fierce and proud Gael. Gaels had no qualms about homosexuality, practicing it often. And they saw no problem at all to have two lovers with them in bed, one on each side. Christianity was something that was forced them through the throat: convert or die!

But why should he be different from his forefathers? Why should he conform to the presently enforced way of seeing things? Why wasn’t he allowed to make his own choices and shape the wood the way he wanted it?

“Hm, this sheep strayed very far away from the flock”, he mused. Somehow, he found the thought funny and continued the metaphor:

“But if the shepherd had known his business or had better Border Collies then even this sheep might have been a docile member of the flock! Luckily for me he didn’t”

He looked at the boy beside him. Carefully avoiding to wake him up he kissed him softly on the forehead. The die was cast!

When the first light of dawn trickled through the curtains, he found peace of mind and finally he fell asleep.

Jamie ran all the way from their camp to the laird’s stables and excited and out of breath he swept in to them. Before Kyle knew what was happening the other boy hugged him and started to kiss him frantically.

“You can come along with us!” he cried out excited.

Kyle stared at him with open mouth and great disbelief in his eyes. But then his deep grey green pools started to shine in a way they hadn’t done since his mother fell ill.

“Really?” was the only thing he could say.

Jamie nodded, still excited.

Tears filled the ocean-like eyes.

“Don’t you want to come with us?” Jamie asked non-plussed.

“Aye…aye, of course. I think these are tears of happiness”

He wiped the tears from his eyes, took Jamie by the hand and pulled him to the hay storage. There they started to kiss one another wild and passionately. Fingers stroke over shoulders, spines and behinds. Both boys felt the other’s aroused shaft pressing in their bellies through their clothing.

This time Kyle took the initiative.

“I want to kiss him” he whispered. His fingers opened Jamie’s trousers and his hands slid in. Tenderly they caressed the balls and went slowly over the hard shaft. Kyle got on his knees, took the member out and kissed its uncovered head lovingly.

“Mmmm…he tastes delicious”, he moaned.

With a tantalizing sluggishness he started licking it, from the balls to the tip, a bit ahead, a bit back, a bit ahead, a bit back, a bit ahead…until the tip of his tongue reached the pee slit, where it started to make small circles around it.

Jamie closed his eyes and felt the warm flesh of the tongue playing. It was done with a love and dedication that moved him deeply.

All of a sudden they heard footsteps. Kyle stood up and Jamie closed his pants in a hurry.

“Why aren’t you boys at work?” they heard a harsh, cold voice.

Jamie, who stood with his back to the door, turned around…it was the Laird!

“We are working, me Lord”, Kyle answered, “We were checking if there is enough hay for the winter”.

A despicable laugh was the only answer.

“Enough hay? Then look again, it is stacked up to the roof”.

Jamie saw the strange look in the man’s eyes again, the same look he had seen when he applied for the job. It was a look which expressed lust, but it was also a dispiteous glance.

“Line up!” the Laird ordered.

They complied and Jamie was wondering what was going to happen next. He didn’t have to wait long.

“Trousers down”, the man barked another order.

Kyle dropped his trousers. The laird stroked his limp tool and smiled crookedly:

“Funny kind of hay…feels a bit damp! And smells suspicious!”

But Jamie didn’t like the idea to drop his pants and was determined to refuse the order flat-out. Challenging, he looked at the laird and simply said:

“No!”

The man looked at him just a second with something of amazement and spoke:

“Oh, now what do we have here? A mutiny?”

Jamie didn’t even deign to answer. Either the old bastard had to pull his pants off by force or it would stay where it was. But the laird had other ideas, that were far beyond Jamie’s imagination.

He pointed to Kyle with his riding whip and barked:

“Turn around! And take your blouse off!”

Jamie couldn’t understand why Kyle carried out the order, but that is what the boy did. Was it out of fear or was it out of habit?

“Let’s see if you are that steadfast when your sweet lovebird has to pay the price for it”, the man spoke coldly with a tone in his voice which betrayed a clear sadistic pleasure.

The laird lifted the whip above his head and it forcefully landed on Kyle’s buttocks. The boy made a grimace and cried out of pain.

“Well, how about these trousers? Are they going off or not?”

“Don’t do it”, Kyle whispered between clenched teeth and with a painful face, “Let him do as he pleases…I’m used to it!”

In desperation Jamie looked to his love, not knowing what to do. He knew, he couldn’t act like some passive bystander while some old idiot flogged the shit out of his boyfriend, because he refused to follow the laird’s orders, no matter how ridiculous these orders might be. He had to do something but he couldn’t make up his mind how he might prevent just such a thing from happening.

Again, the whip hit the flesh, a second outcry of pain followed. Jamie saw red lashing marks appear in the flesh.

“Kyle…you can’t let him do this to you!” he whispered at a wit’s end.

“Just keep yer trousers on” the boy whispered again. A third lash with the whip followed.

The laird chuckled with an unpleasant sound:

“Not that much love between the two of you, isn’t it?”

The whip went up again but now the laird found out, that he made a mistake. One of the boys in front of him was a big city boy, not raised and indoctrinated in the ideas of humility, servitude and subjection to the powers-in-being like the other one, but a boy with totally different attitudes.

Just before the whip would slam into Kyle’s bottom again Jamie struck hard, without conscious thinking or even realizing what he was doing. He hit the laird right on the chin.

The man tumbled backward and landed on his fat behinds on the dusty floor. His spotless white breeches weren’t white any longer and his highly-polished black riding boots showed dust stains.

For a few seconds the laird stared with a dazed expression on his face at the insolent kid, who had the courage to do such an insurrectional act, but the look in his eyes turned into hate. If looks could kill, Jamie would have been a corpse by now. But it wasn’t only the laird who was dazed.

“What are ye doing?” Kyle cried out in blind panic.

Jamie only shook his head, surprised by his own actions.

By now the old man had more or less recovered from his shock and bellowed:

“You are fired! Get off my estate! I will see to it that they throw you in jail!”

Jamie looked at him in a contemptuous way and replied in an even voice, filled with anger and disgust:

“As you wish, my Lord. But I think that will not happen, unless my Lordship wants to face several years of forced labor himself”.

“Get off my premises!! Now!!” the man roared.

“Get dressed, love”, Jamie told his friend.

“And you, carry on with your work!” the laird continued in a high-pitched voice, pointing to the naked boy.

“I don’t think so, my Lord”, Jamie answered cold, “I’m taking him with me!”

Kyle finished dressing, but stared motionless to the ground as if paralyzed. Jamie took him by the hand and dragged him out of the hay storage, not wanting to await further problems.

“But who will take care of my horses then?” he heard the laird whining behind him.

“I guess you will have to find someone else, my Lord”, Jamie answered triumphantly, “But with permission, my Lord: I would like to suggest you buy a pair of suspenders. Maybe it will help to keep your breeches in place”.

He more or less forced Kyle forward by pushing him ahead and together they left the laird’s premises.

Because it was a guaranteed certainty, that the laird would throw Kyle out of the cottage, they went there first on their way back. While walking Jamie asked in surprise:

“Why did you say you were used to it?”

Kyle didn’t answer at first, but looked at the road’s tarmac, avoiding Jamie’s penetrating gaze, clearly ashamed.

“Well?” Jamie insisted.

“Just between ye and me, OK?”

Jamie nodded his agreement.

“I didn’t have to pay rent for the cottage. He exempted me of paying rent…in exchange for certain services”.

Jamie looked at him in disbelief.

“And when he had his cruel, sadistic moods, he made me undress, chained me naked to the cross and beat me up with a whip, just to have his own pleasure”.

There was a brief silence, then Kyle continued with difficulty:

“Or when he wanted something that I didn’t want…he locked me up in the cellar, chained by the neck to the wall and completely naked, in pitch dark. Every time I was there it scared me to death…I heard the rats scurrying around, but couldn’t see them. So every now and then he checked if I was compliant by now. When not, he just left me there until I was obedient and willing. And then he did his thing, just as he felt like it”.

“What did he do then?” Jamie asked in wonderment.

With closed eyes Kyle shook his head, answering:

“I don’t want to talk about that. And I doubt if ye want to know”.

Jamie had too few experiences to even imagine something what might have taken place there, but Kyle’s broken attitude told him it had to be terrible, so by now he closed his eyes as well, bowed his head and shook it in total disgust, crying out:

“But why?”

“Jamie…”, the now heartbroken boy answered barely audible, “I had no money. Paying no rent saved me a lot. It gave me a roof over me head. I had to do it… just to survive!”

Jamie decided that pushing the matter would be cruel. The boy was clearly hurting and ashamed and why fuel that fire? He kept silent.

They arrived at the cottage and entered. In a hurry they collected some clothing and small things. Kyle took some small tools from the little shed. As one of the last things he took a small photograph with two people on it.

“Who are they”, Jamie asked.

“It’s me mum and dad” was the reply. Tears were in his eyes.

Finally Kyle took his father’s old bag pipe, the same where he had been taught to play on.

He looked around the cottage with a sad face, He was born and raised in this house, had had a great childhood and had taught a lot of things from his father that he could use now. But it was over! Now it was time to look ahead to the future, to learn and experience new things without being treated as a slave by some laird or whoever.

He opened the front door for the last time. Jamie looked at him encouraging. Kyle swept some last tears from his face, took a deep breath and said:

“Come on, let’s go. Time to find out how Rover is doing”.

The door closed and they started walking. Kyle didn’t look back, not even once.

When they arrived at their camp, they couldn’t avoid telling what had happened at the laird’s estate. Collin went into a rage and wanted to go to the nearest police station.

“Don’t”, Kyle cried out, “Ye won’t gain anything. It is the word of a laird against the word of a traveller and two stable lads. It is hopeless. And even if ye achieve something, ye would ruin the lives of the other people in the village. So...no, please…don’t do it”

Collin grudgingly had to admit that the boy had a point. That made it so hopeless. The police always believed the gentry and it was the gentry that had everything in their power, making them untouchable, no matter what they did.

“Pull yer trousers off, laddie, I want to have a look at these wounds”.

Gently he examined the wounds, which by sheer luck were only superficial. Carefully Collin washed them anyway and put some soothing ointment on them.

That done, Kyle walked to the horse. He patted the animal on the withers and for a long time he whispered in its ear. The animal seemed to listen interested and intently, moving its ears as if it pleaded for more. At last, he stroked the flanks. He looked up and with a smile of satisfaction on his face he said:

“He is good as new. If ye like, we can leave tomorrow”.

Collin looked at the boy. Yes, he had already decided that he could travel with them last night. But even if he had been in doubt on the issue until this moment he would have decided now and on the spot to take him along. It was unthinkable he would leave the boy behind in this village, in the claws of that sadistic beast. And besides: the boy was a survivor. If he hadn’t been, he would have been under the ground for a long time by now.

Kyle walked from the horse with a sad look on his face.

“What is bothering ye, laddie?” Collin asked worried.

“Well, sir…I’m sad. I just realized I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to me friends” he whispered.

Collin and Jamie looked at one another in astonishment.

“Your friends?” Jamie asked softly.

“Aye…the laird’s horses...they were me friends. They pulled me through the last couple of years”.

Collin put his arm around the boy’s shoulder and said:

“I think yer friends will understand, Kyle. Besides: ye can be assured that ye have new friends in return”.

“I’ve got the strong feeling Rover is one of them”, he added, nodding in the direction of the horse.