Falls Creek Lessons - 1. Chapter 1

Waiting outside my parents’ home, I wondered again why I allowed myself to be talked into this. Here I am, about to go on a weekend skiing trip with my sister, her boyfriend, and two friends of his that I’ve never met. It’s not as if I’m a keen skier. I’ve never even seen snow before!

Looking at my watch, I realise that I’m early. They said we had to leave Melbourne by 5pm if we were going to get to Falls Creek tonight. I don’t understand why – after all, it doesn’t matter if we arrive after midnight, we’ll still get there. But Rob insisted that we had to be at Mt. Beauty by 10pm. Oh, well, I’m sure everything will make sense in the end.

That’s another thing I have to take on trust. When I asked why we weren’t going to Mt. Buller, as it’s only supposed to be three hours from Melbourne, they said that Falls Creek is the better Victorian ski field on weekends – less crowded. I suppose that makes some sense, but to spend five hours sitting in a car in both directions, it had better be a lot better.

They were saying on the news last night that 1996 looks like being the best snow season for several years. With lots of snow, hopefully that’ll mean I won’t hurt myself when I fall over. From what my sister, Diane, has been telling me, that’s what I’ll be doing lots. The weather report indicates that it’s likely to snow tonight, but they are expecting fine weather for the rest of the weekend. I suppose that means that everyone will be able to see me crashing all over the place.

Rob took Diane skiing for the first time back at the start of July. Since then, she’s been insufferable. She’s been going on, and on, and on about it almost non-stop. She’s bought herself skis, boots, gloves, goggles, a new outfit, and who knows what else. I thought of telling her that the new outfit made her look like a pink version of the Michelin Man, but I didn’t think she’d be amused. She’s a little plump, she’s cool with that, but implying that she looks like she has several spare tires around her waist is not a good way to keep family harmony.

As I understand it, Rob, Diane and their work mate Chris are going to come straight from work. The car was supposed to be packed last night, so all they had to do was to come here, pick up me and my bag, and then head off to pick up Chris’ friend Paul. Then we head to the Hume highway and off to the Victorian high country.

At least I was lucky enough to be allowed to leave work early. Mr. Young is a cool boss. He also does a little skiing himself, though he told me that he hasn’t been this season. So, when I told him that I was invited for a weekend of skiing, and asked if I could finish early on Friday, he was more than willing. It’s a pretty quiet time for painting, anyway. At the moment, it’s usually just doing the insides of houses of owners too lazy, or too rich, to do their own. Anyway, he’s lent me his ski jacket, pants, gloves and goggles, and told me that if I need to, I can come in late on Monday. I asked him whether I should try snowboarding as well, but he told me to do one, or the other. Don’t try to learn both at the same time.

Since Rob will be skiing, and he’s teaching Diane, I suppose it’ll be easier if I learn skiing first. If I hate it, I can always try snowboarding later.

As I spotted the familiar green Falcon, with Rob at the wheel, turning the corner into our street, I breathed a sigh of relief. Rob has a weird sense of humour at times and in the back of my mind I had this thought that this was just an enormous setup. My sister wouldn’t have approved but, if Rob presented it as a fait accompli, she would have gone along with it.

Picking up my bag, I moved to the curb. The car looked funny with the ski-rack on the roof, but I suppose there wasn’t really any other way to do it. The four sets of skis were certainly too long to put inside the car.

As the car pulled up, I moved around to the back and waited for Rob to open the boot.

“G’day, Greg. I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Rob said, smiling, as he got out of the car.

“No, not long,” I lied. After all, it wasn’t his fault that I was ready almost an hour early. Plus, I didn’t want him to wipe that smile from his face. My sister and I had similar taste in men. It was just that in my case I was the only one who knew it. His lopsided smile always sent a shiver through me, though I never let him know that. It’s a pity it’s winter. I also like watching the play of the muscles in his upper body but I usually only get the chance to see that in summer.

Opening the boot, I saw that there wasn’t a lot of room left. All the other bags looked at least twice the size of mine. I started worrying about whether I had brought enough, or maybe I was bringing the wrong things. Squeezing my bag into the corner, I was glad I hadn’t packed a suitcase, like my mum had suggested. The sports bag was a lot more flexible.

Getting into the back seat of the car, I saw a brown-haired guy sitting at the end of the bench seat. He looked pleasant enough, and the smile he gave me was certainly encouraging, but I don’t really like guys who are overweight. He wasn’t huge, but he was big enough for me to notice it. Then again, it was something I always looked for, so maybe he wasn’t that much overweight.

“Hi! My name’s Chris – Chris Everington. You must be Greg Rider,” he said, as he reached over to shake hands.

“That’s me! Glad to meet you,” I said cheerfully, as I shook his hand. After all, I’m going to be spending the next few hours cooped up in the car with the guy. There’s no need to point out to him that it was unlikely that they would be picking up anyone else.

“Hi, Greg!” my sister said from the front seat, as she twisted around to look at me.

“Hi, Sis. Thanks for inviting me. I’ve been looking forward to this trip all week!” I said. Well it’s not a complete lie. I have been looking forward to it, just not with total joy.

“Okay, folks. We’ll just pick up Paul, and we’ll be on our way. Falls Creek, here we come!” Rob said enthusiastically.

“Diane told me that this is your first time to the snow. You’re going to have a great time!” Chris said, as we drove off. “Paul and I have been going for a couple of years now, and we’re totally hooked. We’ve been up twice this season already, and we’ve never seen better snow!”

Is snow really so interesting to look at, that it makes you all excited to see snow that’s “better?” I’m getting more and more concerned that I’ve just made a huge mistake, coming on this trip.

“I know it’s way too late, but I noticed that everyone seemed to have a lot more luggage than me. Have I done something wrong?” I asked.

“You don’t have ski boots, do you?” Chris asked.

“No. I was told I could hire them when I got there.”

“That’s a big chunk of the gear. Four sets of ski boots are pretty bulky. Paul and I also tend to over-pack. So I wouldn’t be worried. As long as you’ve got a couple changes of clothes, you should be fine. You can even hire ski clothes up there, if you need to,” Chris said.

Nodding my head, I turned to look out the window. There was so much to learn, I felt like a prat asking dumb questions. Chris seemed to be kind enough. At least he didn’t sound condescending when he answered my question about the luggage. Of course, anyone who gets excited at the concept of “better” snow is probably not completely sane in the first place. For the moment, though, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

“What do you do for a living, Greg?” asked Chris.

Couldn’t he take a hint from the fact that I was looking out the window? Oh, well. Maybe he’s just trying to be sociable. Putting a smile back on my face, I turned back to look at him.

“I’m a painter. That’s house painting, not art painting. And before we get into a game of twenty questions, why don’t we wait until pick up Paul? That way you can both get the answers at the same time.” I responded.

Chris laughed. “Fair enough. I’ll keep my trap shut then. Unless, of course, you want to ask me any questions?”

“We’ve got a few hours ahead of us. I think I can wait until we’re all together before I start my interrogation. That way, the others can correct any wrong answers,” I said, still smiling. Now, can you take a hint and leave me alone for the moment?

“As long as you promise not to use thumb screws. I’ve got a low pain threshold,” Chris shot back.

Smiling, I turned back to the window. Letting the smile fall from my face, I watched the houses go past. Whether or not I enjoyed this weekend was up to me. I wasn’t going to let some nosey stranger ruin it.

When Rob turned off from the main road, I knew we must be getting close to where Paul was. Racking my memory, all I could come up with about Paul was that he was a friend of Chris, who was a work mate of Rob and my sister. Shrugging my shoulders, I settled back to wait. I’d meet him soon. Until then, there wasn’t a lot of point speculating.

With Chris leaning forward and providing directions, we eventually came to a new home site, where one absolutely gorgeous stud was waiting. Still dressed in khaki overalls with a ski jacket hung loosely over his shoulders, he turned and picked up a small bag before stepping forward. The blonde tips in his dark hair seemed in glow in the late afternoon light.

“Greg, can you shuffle into the middle so Paul can get in?” Rob asked me.

To make sure that stud would be sitting next to me, I’d do more than that! I quickly shuffled over, before Chris could volunteer to sit in the middle.

I was surprised when Paul took off his jacket, and just came directly into the car. I had expected him to put his bag into the back of the car, but he put it on his lap instead.

He smiled at me. Rob has just been moved into second place for the guy with the best smile. The fact that he looked closer to my age than Rob didn’t hurt either.

“Hi, I’m Paul. Sorry if I smell a bit, but I didn’t have time to go home to get changed. I’ll clean up a bit when we get to Wallan. I’ve got some clean clothes in the bag.”

“What are we doing in Wallan?” I asked.

“There’s a rest stop on the Hume Highway just outside Wallan. It’ll take us about thirty minutes to get there,” Rob explained, as he steered the car back onto the main road. “We’ll give Paul a chance to get changed, and the rest of us to stretch our legs, before we head up the Hume. Diane will also take over the driving there. We’ll have another rest stop and change of drivers just after we turn off the Hume at Glenrowan, before a final stop and driver change when we get to Myrtleford. That way no-one gets too tired.”

“Okay. Are you going to want me to drive?” I asked.

“Nah. We’ve got it covered. Anyway, you’re still on P-plates and we didn’t bring any to put on the car. So, you get to relax on this trip. If we do this again, you can have a turn if you want to, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t,” Rob responded.

“You did bring your license with you, didn’t you? You’ll need that to prove that you’re over eighteen and allowed to drink,” Diane said, as she twisted in her seat to view the three of us in the back seat.

“Yeah, I’ve got it. I’m certainly not planning on having a dry weekend,” I smiled in returned.

“We’d get you drinks anyway, but it’s just easier this way,” she grinned back.

As she settled back into her seat, I turned to look at Paul. Schooling my face into an expression of polite interest instead of the rampaging lust I wanted to show, I decided to introduce myself.

“Hi, Paul. I’m Greg, Diane’s brother. I’ve already told Chris that I paint houses, but that’s as much as I let slip. I said I’d wait until you were here so you’d both hear the lies, sorry, answers, at the same time.”

He gave me another one of his knee-weakening smiles. I’m glad I was already sitting, as I don’t know if I could have stood up.

“We might cross paths occasionally, then. I work as a carpenter, mainly in house construction.” He glanced past me to Chris. “It’s good to have another real worker around. Unlike the rest of this group that pretend to work in an office.” His gentle smile showed that he was only joking. It was obviously something that he and Chris had joked about before.

“Now, Paul. Just because we’re too smart to work in the pouring rain, doesn’t mean that we don’t work. Support-desk work is extremely stressful, I’ll have you know. We have to remain calm, no matter what abuse the customer is throwing at us.” Chris responded.

The two of them were obviously good friends, as they knew exactly what buttons to push to get the other going. I could see Paul getting ready to respond in kind, when Rob interrupted.

“Settle down, you two. I don’t want Diane’s kid brother caught in the crossfire when you get going. I put him between you for a reason. Play nice.”

Kid brother? I started to fume silently. Is that the way he thinks of me? So I’m only eighteen. That still makes me an adult. At twenty-four, he’s not that much older than I am. I could see him glancing back at me through the rear-vision mirror. He was obviously amused, as he had a small grin on his face. What I needed was something to say to take that smile off his face.

“Awww. That’s not fair,” Chris whined. “If we don’t get to fight, we don’t get to make up afterwards.”

“And that’s the other reason he’s between you. I don’t want you and your boyfriend making out the whole trip up. I don’t think I could stomach that.”

I went cold. Chris and Paul are gay? A gay couple?

I edged away from Paul. I’ve heard that gay guys can sense when other guys are also gay. Did they know about me already? Surely it can’t be that fast. If I’m careful, maybe I can keep it hidden from them for the whole trip. In the meantime, look straight ahead. Don’t look at either one of them.

“Greg? What’s wrong?” my sister asked, concerned. I never even noticed that she’d turned around to look at me.

“Nothing,” I said curtly. The less I said the better. Let’s just ignore the two of them, and treat them as if they don’t exist.

No, that’s not fair. I can’t ignore them. But I can try to have as little to do with them as I can.

“Greg, are you okay?” Chris said, as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I flinched away from his hand. That just brought me into contact with Paul. I flinched back again the other way. Why did I have to be sitting between them? I pulled myself into the smallest space I could, trying to keep away from both guys, and sat staring straight ahead.

“Rob, pull over now,” Diane ordered.

“What?” he responded, confused.

“Pull over now. I’m swapping seats with Greg.” The determination in my sister’s voice left no doubts about what she thought Rob should do.

“But…” Rob tried to argue.

“No buts! Pull over, or turn around and take Greg and me home.” My sister’s icy tone showed that this was no idle threat.

Showing the brains that made him one of his company’s best programmers, he pulled over.

As I followed Paul out of the car, I glanced to where he stood waiting to follow Diane back in. The expression on his face as he looked at me was a curious mixture of sadness and regret. It struck me then that this was not the first time he’d encountered rejection because he was gay. I felt like shit to be the one who did it to him, but I’m just not ready to be on his side of the fence. The memories of my parents’ disappointment when I didn’t go on to university are still fresh in my mind. The rejection I was likely to get from them when they learn that I’m gay was not something I wanted to face.

As I fastened my seatbelt in the front seat, I looked across at Rob and Chris. Rob looked a little disgruntled, but that was because I was the cause of Diane being angry. I know he loves her. I’m sure he’s just trying to build up enough nerve to ask her to marry him. Chris had that same mixed expression as Paul had. There was no anger or bitterness in it, at least as far as I could tell, but there was a strong feeling of disappointment.

As we drove off in silence, I furiously considered the options. I think I had just ruined the weekend for everyone.

“I’m sorry. If you just drop me off near a phone, I’ll get a taxi back home. You can all go off and enjoy the skiing without me,” I said quietly. I sat staring straight ahead; not really seeing what was in front of me.

“If that’s what you want, Greg,” Rob answered. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him starting to look for a phone box.

“Are you sure, Greg?” Diane asked. “Chris and Paul are perfect gentlemen. You don’t have to be nervous around them. They won’t try anything.”

I sighed. You don’t understand, Sis. I’m not nervous about them trying anything. It’s me I’m nervous about. Will I let something slip that they could pick up on?

“I’m sorry we made you uncomfortable, but there is no need to drop out of the trip if you don’t want to. We’ll just go our separate ways while we’re there, if that makes you feel better,” Chris said.

God, why do they have to make this so hard? I just gave them a cold, practically frigid, shoulder, and there’s Chris still trying to be nice and reasonable. Can’t they just cut their losses and go on without me?

Rob stopped the car next to a phone box. He turned to look at me with raised eyebrows, the question obvious. Was I going to get out or was I going on with them?

“Greg, I’d really like it if you went with us,” Paul said quietly. “I need your help. Otherwise I’m going to be outnumbered by these desk jockeys all weekend.”

“You’ll still be outnumbered two to three, even with his help, you idiot,” Chris retorted.

“No we won’t. Us real workers are worth two of you pretend workers, so we’ll outnumber you four to three, won’t we Greg?” Paul said.

I couldn’t help it. The idiocy of their arguing made me burst out laughing. Turning with a smile, I said, “Okay, you win. Let’s put this show back on the road. Just give me a little space, please?”

“Sure, Greg. As much space as you want. The entire width of the Victorian High Country, if that’s what you need,” Chris said, grinning.

“Or the entire space between Chris’ ears, which is even larger,” Paul added. The gentle smile he gave me sent a shiver through me. Quickly turning back, I wondered how I was going to get through this weekend. If a simple smile was going to do that to me, I was in big trouble. Hopefully they’ll give me enough room that I can get over it.

“Now boys, be nice,” I heard my sister say. “There’s a lady present, so no fighting unless you give me a kiss first.”

“Rob’s no lady! He’s a first class bitch!” Chris retorted. “And I’m not kissing you. I’ve seen you kissing Rob. I’m not touching anything he’s kissed first. I have my standards.”

“Okay, I know how to get my revenge then,” said Rob, as he drove the car back out into the traffic. “I’ll just kiss Paul first chance I get, and you’ll spend the entire weekend all alone.”

“Sorry, Rob,” Paul interrupted, “but I don’t kiss straight guys. You and Greg will just have to find someone else to kiss.”

Does that mean he thinks I’m straight? Maybe I can get away with this, after all.

“And I’m not kissing you either, Rob. You’ll just have to make do with my sister,” I said, hoping I was picking the right level of joking. I really wanted to say that I’d kiss him anytime he wanted, but I didn’t think that would go down too well.

“Well thanks, guys. I get everyone’s rejects,” Diane said, sarcastically. In a kinder tone, she added, “That just proves I’m the only one here with taste.”

“Isn’t that where this conversation started? Talking about you and Rob conducting taste tests?” Chris asked, innocently.

Sighing with relief, I settled down and let the other four tease each other. The whole weekend had changed completely. Rob and Diane are obviously really comfortable with their gay friends. If Rob can joke about kissing Paul, then he should be fine if he finds out about me. I hope he doesn’t, at least not until I’m ready, but maybe I can let my guard down a little.

Not too much! I’m not here to out myself. I’m reasonably confident that I’ll lose my job if Mr. Young found out I’m gay. He’s a great guy, but he makes enough derogative comments and jokes about gays that I’m pretty sure I know where he stands. He won’t sack me because of it, I’d be able to sue for wrongful dismissal if he did that, but he’ll find some other way to make sure I’m gone.

By the time we pulled into the rest stop at Wallan, the atmosphere in the car had returned to a friendly level. I was staying out of it, but I wasn’t being excluded. They let me get involved as much, or as little, as I wanted.

“Toilet stop everyone! It’s a couple of hours to our next break, so take advantage of it while you can!” Rob announced, as he pulled up. “We’ll head off as soon as you’re all back here.”

I followed the others to the toilet block. Looking around, I saw a number of other cars with ski racks on the roof, so this was obviously a popular stop along the way to the ski fields. There was also a food van selling drinks and hot food, with a short queue of people in front. It reminded me that it had been a long time since lunch. What were we going to do about something to eat?

I was the last to enter the men’s toilets, and I stopped in surprise as I entered. Luckily no-one was following me in, or I would have caused an accident.

There was Paul, stripping himself out of his overalls.

Before he could notice me, I quickly looked away and headed over to the urinal. The sight I’d seen was engraved on my mind, and I knew I’d have to concentrate to make sure I didn’t give myself away by getting aroused from the memory.

He was certainly not a body builder. While he was nicely developed, he was more toned than buff, with just a tantalising rippling of muscles showing as he stripped off his work clothes. A light covering of hair in the middle of his chest lead down to the top of his boxer shorts. They were the biggest surprise. I’d never have guessed he’d be wearing Spiderman shorts. It made me wonder whether Chris has given them to him, and if there was a story behind it.

Finishing up, I gave him a quick glance as I walked over to wash my hands. He was still standing there in only his shorts, socks and boots, as he wiped a small hand towel briskly over his body. The goose bumps from the cold just accented the shape he was in. Now that I finally saw him standing up straight, I realised just how tall he was. I know I’m not particularly tall at 5’ 10” but the way he towered over me, he was clearly over 6’. Not by much, but it was noticeable.

Dragging my eyes away, I washed up and headed out. Chris and Rob didn’t appear to have noticed my interest, but I wasn’t sure about Paul. Just before I left, he had what looked like an amused grin on his face. I hoped that was either a happy memory or him planning something for the future. I didn’t want to think that I’d given myself away already.

Heading back to the car, I saw Chris and Rob standing around chatting. As I approached, Rob frowned and started toward me. Chris, who grabbed him by the arm, stopped him. Looking surprised, Rob listened to something Chris said, before nodding. Chris then walked up to me. It was apparent that he was nervous.

“Greg, we have a small problem that we need your help in sorting out. Since it’s Paul and me that’s causing it, I wanted to be the one who discussed it with you.”

I looked at him quizzically. What was he going on about?

Avoiding eye contact, he looked down at the ground as continued. “Basically, the back seat of Rob’s car is not big enough for Rob, Paul and I to sit comfortably for any length of time. We’ll be too cramped. The original plan was to have you sitting in the back and one of us would be in the front, either driving or in the passenger seat.”

He paused and looked up at me. I could see the problem. Rob and Paul were both over 6’ in height, and with broad builds. Chris was only slightly taller than I was, but he was probably about thirty pounds heavier and a lot broader.

“If you don’t want to sit in the back, then that’s fine, but it means your sister won’t be able to drive as she’ll need to sit in the back. When we started planning this trip, she was very insistent in doing her share of the driving. What do you think we should do?” he asked, nervously.

Before I answered, I looked back to where I could see Diane making her way towards us. I knew from many years of experience how stubborn she could be, and how she would always insist on doing her share of whatever needed to be done. Chris was wrong on one thing, though I appreciated the way he took it on. This problem wasn’t being caused by him and Paul, but by me. Now what could I do to fix it, without letting the cat out of the bag?

“Let me talk to her. We’ll work it out,” I said, as I went to intercept my sister.

“Di, can I have a quick word before we head off?” I asked.

“Sure, Greg. What’s up?”

I explained the situation, and then made my plea.

“Do you mind not driving on the trip up? Once I’ve got to know Chris and Paul, I’m sure I’ll be fine with them, so maybe you can drive on the trip back. But I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of sitting right up close to them for the next few hours,” I said.

Truthfully, I’d love to be snuggled up next to Paul for a few hours, but that would be when I was out of the closet. Until then, sitting that close to him would just be torture. I would be happy sitting next to Chris, as he does nothing for me, but how would I explain that I was happy sitting next to one gay guy, but not the other?

My sister looked at me intently, before sighing. Leaning forward, she kissed me lightly on the cheek.

“Okay, Greg. Can you please make an effort to get to know them, though? They really are great guys who are head over heels in love with each other. They don’t have eyes, or hands or anything else, for any other guys, despite the teasing you hear between Chris and Rob. Please, trust me on this one?”

I smiled. I could use that as the excuse if they catch me watching them. I’ll just tell them that my sister wants me to learn more about them.

“Thanks, Sis. I owe you one.”

So, Paul ended up doing the driving up the Hume Highway. The conversation was kept fairly light, though Chris finally managed to get me to answer some of his questions. Most answers were easy. I stretched the truth a bit on the girlfriend question – “I had a girlfriend a couple of years ago, but we drifted apart when she went to Uni and I started work” – but as even my sister thought that Rebecca had been my girlfriend, and not just a friend who was a girl, I think I got away with it.

I didn’t question Chris or Paul too hard, but I was interested to learn that Paul did a little karate. He wasn’t super keen on it, but he enjoyed the concentration and discipline aspects more than the actual fighting. I asked if he had started doing it after being threatened, and he went very quiet. Chris told me that yes he did, but not to ask for any details. I took the not-so-subtle hint and changed the topic.

As the main road between Melbourne and Sydney, the Hume takes a fair amount of traffic. Beside the weekend skiers and other holiday travellers, there were also a lot of trucks of various sizes. With bypasses around the towns along the way, we could have gone all the way without slowing down. So I was surprised when we followed a truck off the highway at the turn off to Euroa.

“Why are we turning off here? I thought you said the turn off was at Glenrowan?” I asked.

“It is,” smiled Rob from the back seat, “but I’m hungry and I want something to eat, so I told Paul earlier to stop off in Euroa. Here’s a good place to take a quick break and grab some food.”

As my stomach rumbled in agreement, I nodded my head. Food sounded good to me!

“So what’s on the menu for tonight?” I asked.

“We usually get hamburgers or fish and chips. As soon as the driver finishes their meal, we can head off again. Given the way Paul eats, that means you’ve got about twenty seconds to get back into the car after he’s got his meal,” Chris explained.

“I can’t help it if I like to take my time to savour my food,” interjected Paul, as he parked the car in front of a fish-and-chip shop.

“Savour? You mean inhale it all in one breath, don’t you?” Chris retorted.

With the two of them still bickering, we entered the shop. A traditional family-run place, I decided to order a hamburger with the lot. It’s been some time since I’d last had a real homemade hamburger, instead of one of the production-line obscenities from the big hamburger chains.

Paul ordered grilled whiting and chips, while Chris ordered two pieces of flake. Rob went for a steak sandwich, and Diane ordered a hamburger, like I did.

“Say, did you know that in Australia, more sharks are eaten by people than people are eaten by sharks?” Rob asked.

“What do you mean?” Paul asked, curious.

Rob pointed to where they were getting Chris’ dinner ready. “Flake is made from sharks. As it’s the most popular form of fish and chips in Australia, we eat more sharks than sharks eat us!”

Diane piped up, “And this announcement has been brought to you by the department of useless information. All complaints are to be directed to the Manager in charge – Rob Skitter.”

“Well, I thought it was interesting,” Rob said, haughtily.

“And you barrack for Collingwood. Nothing else needs to be said,” replied Chris.

“Collingwood’s the best team in the AFL!” Rob exclaimed indignantly.

I smiled to myself. There is nothing more parochial than a Collingwood supporter. And there is nothing supporters of all the other Aussie Rules football teams like to do more than to poke fun at Collingwood, the team everyone else loves to hate.

“Yeah, and if they win the rest of the games in the season, they still probably won’t make the finals. Some best team!” Chris stated.

“Like St. Kilda is doing any better!” Rob said. Turning to Diane, he added, “Or Richmond.”

“Hey, leave me out of it,” Diane replied indifferently. “If you want to argue football, speak to Greg. He barracks for Richmond too.”

Rob turned to face me. Crossing his arms and stretching up to his full 6’ 2”, he stared down at me, daring me to make a comment. I never was one to turn down a dare.

“I have to agree with you, Rob. Collingwood is the best team,” I said. I could tell I’d floored Rob with that comment. It was the last thing he expected me to say.

“What!” Chris exclaimed, spinning around to stare at me. “That’s a load of crap!”

“No, listen to me,” I said, trying to calm him down. “Collingwood is the only team that’s ever won four premierships in a row, which they did back in the 1920’s. The fact that they’ve done practically nothing since is irrelevant. Those four premierships make them the best team. Who cares that they’ve only won one premiership in the last forty years?”

I turned back to Rob. “You agree, don’t you, Rob?” I asked sweetly.

He stared at me angrily. “Two premierships. We won in 1958 as well as 1990.” he said, curtly.

I theatrically slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand.

“Of course! How could I have forgotten 1958? I’m so sorry, Rob. For everything. Especially the team you barrack for.”

Before he could find a snappy reply, I turned to where Paul had been standing quietly. He had a sardonic smirk on his face as he watched the three other guys argue about football.

“Who do you barrack for, Paul?” I asked. I was really just trying to drag him into the conversation so I could exit. As Rob implied, Richmond isn’t doing too well this season. Even if they make the finals, which is unlikely, we’ll probably be bundled out in the first game of the final series. Consequently, a lot of my interest in the sport has waned. I was what was commonly called a fair-weather supporter. I’m only really keen when they’re doing well.

“Geelong,” Paul replied quietly, still smirking.

“Okay, just because they’re guaranteed to make the finals, no need to look down on the rest of us,” Chris interjected. “They’re still not doing that well.”

Further discussions were, luckily, interrupted by the arrival of the food. Moving to one of the tables near the front of the shop, we sat down to eat. Silence reigned, as everyone started eating with a fury only reserved for those who thought they were starving.

As I finished my hamburger, I noticed how quiet the town appeared. Even though we were in the middle of what I assumed was the main street on a Friday night, there wasn’t a lot of traffic, or a lot of people. The road could certainly take a lot more vehicles than it was doing at the moment.

“Is it my imagination, or is this town really quiet?” I asked, not directing it to anyone in particular.

“It’s been like this every time we’ve come through,” Paul said, his mouth half full of fish.

“It used to be a lot busier,” Rob added sadly, “but when they put in the bypass, the Hume Highway traffic stopped coming through. That meant that people are less tempted to drop in and the town took a bit of a hit as a consequence. We used to stop here all the time when I came through with my parents, and there was a constant stream of traffic, especially on a Friday night during the ski season. As you noticed, it’s a lot quieter now.”

Silence returned as we waited for everyone to finish eating. Contrary to what Chris had implied earlier, Paul was the last one to finish. He just sat there, quietly chewing on his dinner, while Chris and Rob made snide remarks about how slow he was eating.

While this was going on, Diane caught my eye. With a raised eyebrow and tilt of the head, she signalled for me to join her outside. Leaving the others, I followed her out.

“How are you going, Greg?” she asked me once we were outside.

“I’m doing fine. Why?” I replied, as I zipped up my coat. The night air was definitely on the cold side, and the overcast skies threatened rain at any time.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay with Chris and Paul, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, at least for now. They haven’t done anything ‘gay’ so I’m just treating them as a couple of normal blokes. I’m not sure how I’ll feel if they start doing anything, though. I expect they’re saving that for when we get there.”

With that, I suddenly wondered what the arrangements were at the lodge we were booked into. How many bedrooms were there, and who was sleeping in which rooms?

“Di, what is going to happen at the ski lodge?” I asked, worried.

“What do you mean?” she asked. The change of topic appeared to have surprised her.

“How many bedrooms are there, and who’s sleeping where?”

She looked decidedly panicky at the question. Avoiding eye contact, she looked back through the shop window to where Paul was still slowly eating.

“There are two bedrooms, one with a double bed. The other room has bunk beds and sleeps four.”

Angry at how she was avoiding the question, I leant forward and asked firmly, “And who’s sleeping in the room with the double bed?”

“Rob and I were going to take that one,” she said in a small voice.

Without conscious thought, I started to raise my voice. “So you set me up. Knowing they were gay, you’ve arranged for me to spend the next two nights in the same bedroom as Paul and Chris. And you didn’t bother to tell me! You didn’t think that was important? Or did you just think it would be amusing to spring this on your little brother when we got there? When was I supposed to find out?”

By the time I had finished, I was yelling. The shop door opened and I saw Rob coming out, looking concerned. With no wish to speak to anyone, I stormed off to the parked car.

“Greg, wait!” Diane called out, but I ignored her as I headed over and stood by the car, staring blankly across the quiet street.

I was well and truly stuck. I had no way to get back home, so I was forced to go along with them for the whole weekend. I wouldn’t have minded if she had told me in advance, or if she knew that I’m gay, but she’d set me up as a straight guy sleeping in the same room as a gay couple. How cruel was she trying to be?

Yeah, I’m gay, but I still can’t sleep in the same room as those two. It’d drive me nuts! It’d be just as bad if I were straight! How could she do this to me?

This is shaping up to be an absolute disaster of a weekend.

Rob came over and tried to speak to me. I told him flatly that I wanted to get into the car and I didn’t want to talk. Something about the way I said it must have made him take me seriously, as he just unlocked the car and went back to join the others without saying another word.

Sitting in the car, I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. How I was going to survive this trip was currently a mystery, but the first thing I needed was some private time. Tuning out everything around me was a technique I’d used before. When we were younger, our parents had gone through a rough patch and the atmosphere at home had been tense. With yelling between the adults commonplace, Diane and I had to find ways to cope. For me, it was lying on my bed with my eyes closed, tuning out the noise and letting my mind drift. I hadn’t needed to do it for years now, as whatever it was that drove our parents to the brink of divorce had been sorted out, but now seemed a good time to retreat in the same way.

I was aware when Paul got into the driver’s seat next to me. I even knew when Chris, Rob and Diane got into the back of the car. There were a couple of abortive attempts to talk to me, but my stony silence cut those short. I didn’t even really hear what they tried to say. My mind was too busy racing to find a way out of this mess to take in outside noise.

As we drove off, I slowly became aware that someone had put a music tape on. I don’t know if it was a coincidence, or if Diane had suggested it knowing my preferences, but it was a Dire Straits tape. I let the familiar melody of “Sultans of Swing” wash through my mind and take me away from the mess that I had been dropped in.

Somehow the effort to relieve myself of the stress, the monotonous drone of the car as it travelled along the highway, and the familiar music all combined to put me to sleep. The next thing I knew, Rob was reaching over from the driver’s seat and was gently shaking me awake.

“Rise and shine, Greg. We’re here,” he said with a wry smile.

Sitting up from the slouched position I’d slipped into while asleep, I looked around. We seemed to be parked at the back of a service station. It was raining heavily, and I couldn’t see a single piece of snow. Looking back, I saw Chris, Paul and Diane undoing their seat belts and getting out of the car.

“Where’s all the snow? How can we ski in this? And I thought Paul was driving?” I asked, perplexed.

Rob laughed. It wasn’t an insulting laugh, more just an amused laugh.

“We’ve changed drivers twice while you slept. Since it’s my car, I took the last leg through the mountains. As for the snow, we’ve still got a bit more travelling to go. This is just as far as we’re driving.”

Waving a hand at the view outside, he continued, “This is Mt. Beauty. We’re catching a bus from here up to Falls Creek. With five of us, that’s more expensive than driving the car up the mountain for the weekend, but it’s safer and more convenient. Otherwise someone would be fitting snow chains to the wheels in the dark after a long drive to get here. I did that once and I have no intention of doing it again. Now let’s get the gear unpacked, so I can take the car away and park it.”

Nodding my head, I undid my seat belt and got out. I immediately began to shiver. It was bloody cold!

“Catch,” I heard from behind me. Turning, I caught the ski jacket that was thrown to me by reflex. With a nod and smile of appreciation to Paul, I put it on. Now I understood why everyone else had kept their ski jackets inside the car. I felt a small surge of anger that no-one had suggested it to me earlier, but after a moment I let it wash away. After all it’s not really a big deal, and they’d got me my (or rather, Mr. Young’s) jacket as soon as I got out of the car.

“Greg, will you help me get the gear from the boot?” Paul asked with a smile. “I think we can leave the desk jockeys to get the skis from the ski rack. And if they still haven’t worked it out by the time we’ve finished, us real workers can always take over.”

Nodding, I moved over to help Paul. Chris and Rob were already taking the first skis off the car.

“Are you still going on about that?” Chris asked, feigning disgust.

“Until my dying day,” Paul replied calmly.

I grinned. I was beginning to suspect that this wasn’t something that Paul was doing to put me at ease. I think it was just his normal laid-back gentle teasing of his boyfriend. It was clear even to an outsider like me that there was no malice in it.

It only took a couple of minutes before the car was unpacked and we had a small pile of luggage under the cover of the veranda that ran alongside the building. Finally getting a chance to look around, I noticed that we were standing near what appeared to be a waiting room. Diane was just coming out with a couple of steaming cups.

“Here you are, Greg. White coffee with two sugars,” she said as she handed me one of the cups. Her tentative smile conveyed the nervousness about what sort of reception she was going to get.

Recalling what I had found out in Euroa, a wave of anger and frustration ran through me. I accepted the cup without a word or sign of thanks. She knew me well enough for that neglect to show that I was a long way from forgiving her. As I turned my back on her, I wondered what I was going to do when we got to the lodge.

Standing there, silently sipping the warming drink, I watched Rob drive off into the rain. He drove out of the service station, but instead of turning onto the road, he simply drove straight across the road to the other side. It was then that I saw the other vehicles parked on the lot opposite. It was certainly not a high-tech car park, but I trusted Rob knew what he was doing. A few minutes later I saw him sprinting across the road and over to where I stood.

“Okay, that’s done. Diane’s already got the bus tickets, so all we have to do is wait for the bus to show up. It should be here in about fifteen minutes,” he said to me, as he shook the worst of the rain off his jacket. “Come inside where it’s warm,” he added as he headed towards the entrance to the waiting room.

I thought about staying out here where I could be by myself, but the cold was beginning to get to me, so I followed Rob into the warmth.

“What about all our gear? Is it safe to just leave it out there?” I asked, as we walked over to the others.

“No it’s not, but we can see it from where we’re sitting, and one of us will be going out every so often to make it obvious that it’s being watched,” Rob replied.

“And I’m first,” piped up Chris, as he tossed back the last of the drink he was holding.

Standing up, he tossed the cup into the nearest rubbish bin and sauntered outside. He was obviously in a chirpy mood, unlike me and, unless I was very much mistaken, my sister. She was looking very worried and concerned, and it was all directed my way. Feeling in no mood to help her out, I ignored her. With Rob taking the empty seat next to Diane, that left the one next to Paul that Chris had vacated. I quickly elected to remain standing.

After a glance across at Rob and Diane, Paul rose to his feet.

“Greg, it’ll be almost two hours before we settle into the lodge. I’d better show you where the toilets are located, since you slept through the last couple of stops,” he said.

I was going to refuse, after all it wouldn’t look good to be seen heading off with a gay guy, but when he glanced back to Rob and my sister a second time, I realised what he was doing. They looked like they needed a chance to talk without the rest of us being around and Paul was trying to give them that opportunity.

Nodding my acceptance, I followed Paul back outside. Chris looked surprised to see us out so soon, but he settled back when Paul told him we’d be back soon.

As Paul led me past the fuel pumps, he kept looking sideways at me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, irritably.

“I’ve got something I’d like to ask you, but I’ll wait until you’ve finished, if you like.” he said.

I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t think of anything that was that important. Plus I was busting and needed to go quickly. I was happy to wait. “Okay,” I replied, indifferently.

Paul was waiting for me when I came out. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed as the rain saturated his face and hair.

“What are you doing?” I asked when curiosity got the better of me.

“For some reason, I’ve always liked the feel of rain on my face. I was just enjoying myself. It also helps clear the cobwebs from the mind, especially with cold rain like this,” he replied as he turned back to face me with a wry grin.

“Whatever makes you happy, I suppose,” I said with a shrug. It seemed a harmless eccentricity. Not something I’d do myself, but I don’t have a problem with him doing it.

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Paul asked, as we started to walk back to where Chris was minding the gear.

“As long as I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to,” I replied cautiously.

“Fair enough. I’ve just been a bit puzzled. You seemed fine with Chris and me when you first met us, but you froze when you found out we’re gay. You seemed to get over that, but then you blew up at your sister at Euroa. But now you’re with me and you don’t seem to be concerned. What’s going on?” he asked.

His puzzlement was obvious and when you put it the way he did, I could understand why he was perplexed. As we walked slowly back, I thought about how I should answer it. The simple answer, that I was happy to be with him because I found him attractive, I didn’t want to give. It’ was also not why I blew up at Diane. On the other hand, I felt like I owed him an answer, as it’ wasn’t really his or Chris’ fault.

“Okay, if you don’t want to answer, that’s fine,” Paul said, as my silence stretched out.

“No, I’ll give you an answer, but I’m just trying to sort it out in my mind first,” I replied, as we joined Chris.

Looking through the window at Rob and Diane, the reason for my reactions popped into my head. Turning back to where Chris and Paul were waiting patiently, I tried to explain part of what I was going through.

“First, you two are the first gay guys that I know. At least the first that I know are gay. So, it’s been a bit of a shock and it’s still taking me by surprise at times. I don’t think I have a problem with you, but just take it easy on me, okay? Try not to rub my nose in it?”

They nodded their heads in unison. “That’s reasonable,” Chris said. He turned his head to grin at Paul. “No loud screams during sex, Paul.”

Paul laughed, as he clipped Chris on the back of his head. “Okay, Chris. No sex for you. That should solve that problem.”

I smiled at the friendly banter between them. They were so comfortable together that the occasional signs of affection between them that I had noticed seemed more a natural part of their friendship than anything sexual.

“My real problem is with Rob and Diane – especially my sister. They both knew you were gay, but neither told me. Rob had me sitting between you in the car, and Diane has arranged for me to be sharing a room with you two, and didn’t think to say anything. I can forgive Rob on the basis that he probably assumed my sister had told me, but she has no excuse. I can’t believe she’d be so cruel! Was this supposed to be some sort of sick joke on me?”

By the time I’d finished, my amusement at the joking between the two guys had been replaced with another round of righteous anger at my sister and the games she was playing. I was sure that what she had done was deliberate. It defies belief to think that she’d simply forgotten to tell me that the other guys on the trip were a gay couple, and that I’d be sharing a room with them.

Paul looked at me sadly. I could see sympathy in his eyes, but I didn’t want that – I wanted a solution!

“I’m sorry, Greg,” Chris said quietly. “I know Paul was joking before, but if it makes you more comfortable, we can keep things really low-key for the weekend. It’s not your fault that you’re in this situation. I hope you know that you can trust us. We’re not going to try anything with you. We’re not like that.”

I turned and gazed out into the rain-filled night. How much could I say without blowing my cover? I felt I could trust them. It was me that I wasn’t sure about. Oh, I’d never DO anything, but could I keep my interest in Paul from them if I shared a room? I’ve never been in a situation like this before.

“That’s not really fair on the two of you, is it?” I pointed out, without turning.

I heard Chris laugh behind me. “You forget that we already knew we’d be sharing a room with you. Jokes aside, we didn’t expect to be able to get up to much, anyway. It’s not really a big deal. The only real question is whether you are comfortable sleeping in the same room as us?”

I sighed. The fates were against me. All I could do was to hope I had enough self-control to keep my body from betraying my thoughts.

“It doesn’t look like I’ve got a choice, so we’ll just have to see, won’t we,” I said, despondently, still gazing unfocused into the darkness.

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. Startled, I turned to find Paul standing there with a faint smile on his face.

“Time to go back inside where it’s warm. We’ll leave Chris here to freeze his balls off. Normally, I’d be worried about that, but this weekend I think it’s a good thing.”

“Hey! What if I suffer a permanent injury?” Chris replied, indignant.

Paul laughed as he and I headed towards the door. Just before we went inside, he looked back over his shoulder. “I’ve got lots of answers to that one, but there’s a straight guy present, so I can’t say them. See you later!”

I smiled at that. Not only imagining the comments he could have made, but also that he still thought I was straight. So far, so good.

When we got back into the waiting room, we found Rob with his arm around my sister. She had her face turned into his shoulder. From the look of anger that Rob flashed me, I guessed that Diane was upset and that Rob blamed me. Since it was all her fault in the first place, this was clearly unfair. Rather than start an argument here in public, I turned and went outside again.

“What are you doing out here again?” Chris asked, surprised.

“Let’s just say that I think the atmosphere out here is warmer than that inside,” I explained, emotionlessly. “Why don’t you go back inside, and I’ll mind the gear until the bus gets here?”

After giving me an intense look, he left and went back inside. I was alone with my thoughts again.

All I can think of was that I just had to spend as little time as possible with everyone else. I can’t spend it with Rob and Diane if Rob is angry with me. I can’t spend it with Paul and Chris because I just don’t trust myself. I wondered if I could learn to ski by myself.

Before long, the bus showed up. A full sized coach, I was surprised to find that there were already a lot of people on it. Where did it pick them up from?

I waited tensely for the others to join me. Steeled myself for an outburst from Rob, I was surprised when he approached me with an outstretched hand.

“I owe you an apology, Greg,” he said, looking guilty.

I just looked at him for a moment. What was he doing? Still perplexed, I reached out and we shook hands.

“Paul told us what you’d said to him outside. I guess we didn’t think of it because we’ve both known Chris for a couple of years now and didn’t realise that it would be an issue. It doesn’t excuse it, but Diane and I just wanted to say we’re sorry,” Rob said, contritely.

I gave him a slight nod. No, it didn’t excuse their behaviour, but it went part of the way to explaining it. As he continued to stand there, I realised he was waiting for me to say something.

“I’d like to enjoy this weekend. Can we just focus on that for a while?” I asked.

Smiling with relief, he answered, “Sure! Let’s get the gear packed away and onto the bus.”

After storing our luggage, I found myself sitting next to Rob on the bus. Anticipating that I would ask him why he was sitting next to me instead of my sister, he told me that it was partially as an apology and partly because the first trip up the mountain is special, and he was the best one to answer any question.

My first question was on why the bus was so full when it arrived. Rob explained that it was the regular Friday night bus from Melbourne. We were just picking it up for the last leg from Mt. Beauty to Falls Creek. This lead to the obvious question on why we didn’t catch it from Melbourne as well. Rob explained that by driving up here on Friday night, it meant that we could catch any bus back down the mountain on the Sunday. We didn’t have to wait until the return bus to Melbourne. This meant we had more flexibility with our skiing. While the weather forecast this weekend was for clear skies, apart from the rain/snow tonight, on other trips the weather had been so bad that they had left early on the Sunday afternoon, and spent some time visiting the wineries on the way back.

Without being too intrusive, Rob gave me a bit of history as we were driven up the mountain. It seems that a lot of the road was originally developed as part of the hydroelectric scheme projects that were implemented earlier in the century. For a long time it was just a dirt track. However, with the traffic that it now carries each year in the snow season, it was converted to bitumen some years ago. The power station that started all of this is still in operation and is located a bit over halfway up the mountain.

The Falls Creek village is actually located within a National Park and the government still owns all the land. All the lodges have been built under a long term leasing arrangement. It is not the highest of the main ski resorts in Victoria, Mt. Hotham holds that honour, but because of the Rocky Valley dam that was built as part of the hydroelectric scheme, it has the best water supply of any of the resorts. This means that it has the best snowmaking facilities and can usually supply skiable snow, even in bad years. Of course, this season is one of the best years that they have had for several years, so the snowmaking has been almost completely shutdown, but in previous years it had made all the difference.

After we had been driving along, I started seeing white flecks in the air beside the bus being illuminated by the lights of the cars behind us. When I turned to Rob, before I could ask, he confirmed that it was snow. We were now high enough that the rain that had been constantly falling was turning into snow. The smile on his face reflected the excitement that I was obviously showing. My first snow! The anticipation of actually getting out and touching it when we got to Falls Creek was quickly wiping out any lingering resentment from the antics of the trip up.

Further up the road, when the ground had turned white from the snow coverage, we passed lots of parked cars with people kneeling by the wheels. Rob explained that tires alone did not provide enough grip, so all vehicles were required to fit snow chains to the wheels to ensure sufficient traction in the icy conditions. He added that he did that once. On a cold night like tonight, with snow falling around you, there is nothing worse than trying to fit chains to the car in the dark. That’s why he insisted that we all catch the bus up the mountain. He added that he knew of a few people who cheated. What they did was to have a spare set of tires with the chains already fitted. Instead of trying to fit the chains, they simply changed the wheels, which is apparently easier. However, they were usually singles or couples, and so had a lot more room in their vehicles than we did.

Later on, we began passing cars almost completely buried in snow. Rob explained that these were vehicles that were staying a week or more. The carparks up at the village were reserved for short-term stays – day-trippers or one or two night stays. The rest of the vehicles were parked along the road up to the village. As I saw, if there was a lot of snow, these vehicles could easily become snowbound. This was another reason Rob didn’t like driving up the mountain. When he was a teenager, there had been too many times that his parents had made him dig out the family car for him to ever want to do the same again.

Finally, we came around the corner, and I could see buildings and lights scattered over the hillside in front of us. We had arrived!

We were off-loaded at a place called the “Oversnow”. It was here that we changed transports for the last time. Bitterly cold, we climbed aboard what could be best described as a large box on treads, in which we were taken up to the Snoweagle Lodge. The driver of the oversnow vehicle was dressed in a heavy dark blue jacket and what looked like a thick baseball cap with fur-lined earflaps. The face seemed to be the only part of their body exposed to the elements, and even that was half obscured by a generous black beard and moustache.

While we off-loaded our gear at the lodge, Diane headed next door to pick up the keys. By the time the oversnow had headed off, she had already unlocked our apartment and was starting to take the luggage inside. With five of us shifting the gear, it didn’t take long. I spent the time simply moving the gear from the track side to the door. I couldn’t call it a road; even calling it a track would have been generous. The best I could say it was a wide-ish stretch of open dirty snow between the lodges.

I was the last into the lodge, as I had stopped to pick up a handful of fresh snow from the side of the lodge. I wasn’t really sure what I’d expected, but I was vaguely disappointed. It was cold, far colder than I had anticipated, and didn’t pack together very well. I think I’d been seduced by too many images from TV shows which showed kids making snowballs. I tried the same with what I had picked up, but it wouldn’t hold together, and my fingers quickly grew numb. Finally realising that this was not the most productive thing to be doing near midnight on my first time in the snow, I turned to go inside.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Rob, Paul and Chris standing at the entrance, with huge grins on their faces.

“Are you happy now, Greg? That there really is such a thing as snow?” Rob asked sarcastically, before dropping back into a big grin.

“Now don’t tease him too badly, Rob,” said Chris, “I seem to recall that Diane, Paul and I did the same thing the first time we came up.”

“True,” replied Rob, “but it’s still fun to watch.” His smile indicated to me that he was more happy that I was happy, than laughing at me.

Shrugging my shoulders as if to say that I didn’t care what they thought or said, I pushed past them into our apartment for the next two nights.

The entrance opened into a small hallway. A door on the right revealed a warm tiled area where the skis and boots that we had brought with us were already stowed. The other three entered and took off their shoes. Following them in, I noticed a stream of hot air from a vent at the side of the room.

“No ski boots allowed in the rest of the place,” Rob explained. “When you come in, just take your boots off and put them in here.”

“Speaking of getting in, how many keys do we have?” I asked, as I took of my shoes.

“Just the one, but that’s all we need. The door also has a combination lock, and that’s what we’ll be using most of the time. We’ll set it to 9669 tonight and that way we don’t need to use the key anymore,” Rob replied.

“Why that number?” I queried, curious.

Rob laughed. “Can you think of an easier four digit number for all of us to remember that won’t be too obvious?”

Ignoring that as a rhetorical question, I followed them into the rest of the place. The first thing that struck me was how small it was. The living area I could see was only big enough for two couches and a couple of comfortable chairs that were set up near a TV. There was a kitchenette tucked away at the back, a door next to it, and two doors off the right hand wall.

Pointing to the door at the back of the room, Rob said, “That’s the shower and toilet.” Waving his hand at the two side doors, he continued “and the two bedrooms. I know it’s tiny, but it’s mainly for sleeping in. Most of the time, we won’t be here.”

Looking around, I had an idea that would solve the sleeping arrangement problem. However, before I sprung it on them, I had a quick look in the two bedrooms. The first had a double bed, a wardrobe, and a chest of drawers. They all barely fitted in, with only about a foot of space around the bed. The second room had a bit more room down the middle between two pairs of bunk beds. One pair was against the outside wall and had a window that whoever was in the bed could look out of if they wanted to. The other was against the inside wall.

“You can have your choice of bed, Greg. We’re not fussy,” said Chris from behind me.

A perfect opening! First, some fun, and then the solution.

“I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve had an idea. I think we should change the sleeping arrangements,” I said as I came back into the main room. “To keep everyone happy, why don’t I take the double bed, and you four can sleep together in the other room. That way I won’t be inhibiting anyone. You can all have as much fun as you want.”

I think I managed to keep a straight face through all of that, because Rob went bright red, my sister’s jaw dropped open, and Chris looked like he was starting to panic. Only Paul seemed to find it amusing.

“That’s a great idea, Greg,” Paul said with excitement. “Chris, you were telling me what a great mate Rob is. I’m sure he won’t mind. I certainly don’t,” as he leered at Rob.

At that, Chris spun and faced Paul. His eyes narrowed as he stared at his boyfriend who looked innocently back at him. A sly smile appeared as he considered what Paul had said.

“Now wait just one minute,” Rob said, finally regaining the ability to speak. “That wasn’t the plan at all. You can’t expect Di to share a room with other guys. It just wouldn’t be right!”

“But we’re gay!” Chris replied, still smiling, “What could be the problem? Since you didn’t mention yourself, you obviously don’t mind sharing with us, so I don’t see that Diane has anything to worry about. I think it’s a great idea!”

Rob’s jaw opened and closed a few times as he tried to think of something to say. I was wondering how long we could keep this up, when Paul ruined it by bursting into laughter.

“Oh the look on your face, Rob. Absolutely priceless!” he managed to get out between laughs.

Rob’s expression became even funnier, as he seemed split between anger and relief. Relief finally won, and he started to smile. “Okay, it was a good joke. I fell for it big time. Well done,” he conceded. “We’ll just stick with the original plan, then?”

“It was a joke, wasn’t it?” Diane interjected.

“It was for me,” Paul said, “I just played along with Greg’s suggestion.”

Everyone looked at me. For a moment, I didn’t say anything, and I saw the tension in Rob and Diane come back.

“I still think we should change the sleeping arrangements,” I repeated, keeping a serious look on my face. Before Rob could explode, I smiled and added, “I was thinking of sleeping on one these couches. That way Chris and Paul could have their privacy.”

My grin widened as I saw Chris and Paul taken aback at the suggestion, and Rob and my sister collapse with relief. It was pretty clear that everyone approved.

“Now if you’ll all get out of my bedroom, I think it’s time for some sleep. It’s been a long day, and I’m looking forward to learning to ski tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone.”