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RIP - Comicality
    jian_sierra
  • jian_sierra
  • Author
  • 07/13/2011
  • 551 Words
  • 1,122 Views
  • 12 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Flash Story Collection - 2. An Old Car Remembers

Here's a little something I wrote for the writing prompt # 36. Hope you like :)

The old car had no idea how it happened, but due to some miracle, he could think. No, unfortunately, he wasn’t one of those Transformer cars who could turn into walking, jumping, punching, kicking and weapon-bearing robots. It would be totally cool if he was, but he wasn’t. Not that having thoughts was something to roar engines about! I’m a car for grease’s sake; we are made to be driven, not to think. Although as far as he could tell, thinking was the only thing new about him. Oh wait, he had a fresh coat of silver paint on too.

Thinking hard, Lance recalled that his first thought came to him as soon as the bristles of a moist brush made contact against his metal exterior. Did that mean the paint was magical? The old car pondered for minutes, but he gave up after a while. Honestly, does it really matter?

Lance was the name the old car’s driver, Bryan, gave him. The memory of Bryan brought a stab of pain from inside Lance’s hood. Memory! How could he have memories when he had thoughts only recently? Surprisingly, he did have memories and lots of them. Most were of his driver, the strongest being that of Bryan making himself comfortable on the driver’s seat for the first time, passing his hand against the plastic surface of the dashboard before starting the engine.

Bryan treated him good; he took Lance on road trips, brought him on his dates and made him the wedding car when the big day came. As far as Lance was concerned, life was good. But that was before the fateful night he stalled in the middle of the road. Bryan’s efforts were for nothing, all that his engine did was spit and sputter. An hour later, he was being dragged by a tractor.

Lance had no idea exactly how long, but he knew he hadn’t been separated like this from Bryan before. His driver’s absence made him... sad. Pain? Sadness? Confusion? Fear? Where did all these emotions come from? The feelings weren’t really foreign, he experienced a semblance of such emotions before. But his newfound consciousness probably allowed him to put a name to what he felt. Right now, he felt abandoned.

A middle-aged guy climbed inside the old car and Lance knew something was wrong. This wasn’t his driver, he could tell by the difference in the way his steering wheel was gripped; Bryan held him with a certain gentleness. Where is my driver? This is the first time someone else is driving me. Did... did Bryan sell me to a new owner? If so, that means this guy is my new driver...

Lost in his thoughts, the old car didn’t realize the middle-aged guy slip out of the driver’s seat, replaced by a guy with deep green eyes, short brown hair and a kind smile on his lips. Lance became conscious of the difference only when a familiar touch caressed his dashboard. Bryan sat in his usual place inside while he held the hand of his partner in the passenger seat, the guy from whom the old car got his name.

“I’ve missed you buddy. Let’s go home.” Hearing his driver say those words, Lance the car felt as happy as could be.

Feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks for reading ;)
Copyright © 2011 jian_sierra; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 4
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Frostina

It's sooo sweet! i was thinking, 'Nooo! please dont let him be sold!!'

^_^ really enjoyable read! :D

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jian_sierra
On 07/14/2011 01:01 AM, Frostina said:
It's sooo sweet! i was thinking, 'Nooo! please dont let him be sold!!'

^_^ really enjoyable read! :D

:D Thanks, Frosty ^_^ I enjoyed writing this one, a lot :)
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AnytaSunday

Yeah, I liked this too, very sweet. When he thought he was being sold, I felt really sad for a minute--it almost felt like a betrayal. And then I was like, grrrr, he should stall on him and make such a fuss that the new owner returns him to Bryan. But then that lack of trust would be between them, so I'm so glad for the way you ended it. Sweet.

 

Thanks for the read. :D

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jian_sierra
On 07/14/2011 01:12 AM, AnytaSunday said:
Yeah, I liked this too, very sweet. When he thought he was being sold, I felt really sad for a minute--it almost felt like a betrayal. And then I was like, grrrr, he should stall on him and make such a fuss that the new owner returns him to Bryan. But then that lack of trust would be between them, so I'm so glad for the way you ended it. Sweet.

 

Thanks for the read. :D

You're welcome. I'm so glad the emotions in this story was somehow felt :) Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts. Very much appreciated :hug:
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Dannsar
Did that mean the paint was magical?

Ha ha. I nearly fell off my seat when I read that. That was just so funny!

 

Quite interesting to note that the girls thought the car was about to be sold. Hmmmm ... I thought it was rather more terminal than that. The irony of having not long been sentient and then to be ... hurrumphapped! I think you were using a double text there you naughty naughty man!

 

One strange thing, I thought. This car was everything anda whole up until the point where it wouldn't work, then suddenly it was 'its engine' rather than Lance not being able to get going. Weird sort of separation there which kinda seemed to make The car a bit too bloody human! Blame someone else!

 

Great wee story. :2thumb:

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comicfan

I figured with the car being painted it was being updated. Just didn't know that he was going home with his beloved driver. Sweet little tale. Worked it up nicely in this short flash piece. Loved it a lot John.

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jian_sierra
On 07/14/2011 11:41 AM, comicfan said:
I figured with the car being painted it was being updated. Just didn't know that he was going home with his beloved driver. Sweet little tale. Worked it up nicely in this short flash piece. Loved it a lot John.
Awww thank you very much. I don't have too much time in my hands right now as I'm getting ready to go home, so writing a flash story is the next best thing. Thanks for reading :)
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jian_sierra
On 07/14/2011 07:10 AM, Dannsar said:
Did that mean the paint was magical?

Ha ha. I nearly fell off my seat when I read that. That was just so funny!

 

Quite interesting to note that the girls thought the car was about to be sold. Hmmmm ... I thought it was rather more terminal than that. The irony of having not long been sentient and then to be ... hurrumphapped! I think you were using a double text there you naughty naughty man!

 

One strange thing, I thought. This car was everything anda whole up until the point where it wouldn't work, then suddenly it was 'its engine' rather than Lance not being able to get going. Weird sort of separation there which kinda seemed to make The car a bit too bloody human! Blame someone else!

 

Great wee story. :2thumb:

Hey Dannsar, glad I was able to make you laugh ^_^ Thanks for reading and leaving a review :)
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Breeze

Great story.It cool to see it from a cars perspective. As a former car chicklaugh.gif, I know what it's like to form an attachment to a car. Kinda cool, at least for a moment to see a car form an attachment to a person. I liked it alot.

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jian_sierra
On 07/14/2011 08:15 PM, Breeze said:
Great story.It cool to see it from a cars perspective. As a former car chicklaugh.gif, I know what it's like to form an attachment to a car. Kinda cool, at least for a moment to see a car form an attachment to a person. I liked it alot.
Aw thanks. I don't have a car, but I can sorta feel how it is to be attached to something/someone. Thanks for reading and your kind words.
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