Unraveled - 1. Reset

“This is going to be my year,” Danny Rossi told himself as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Senior year had finally arrived, marked by the first day of band practice that midsummer morning of 2018. For years, Danny had watched as others had gotten ahead of him in band while he lingered in mediocrity, but no longer! He was a senior now. No longer would his band director, Mr. Reilly, be able to ignore the improvement he’d made. He’d worked hard all summer practicing his trumpet. His marching was in top form. He’d even asked Mr. Reilly to sponsor the LGBTQ Alliance at school. He hadn’t done that to advance his credentials in band, but it couldn’t hurt, right?

Danny slipped into his sneakers and locked up the house. The car his parents had bought for him on his sixteenth birthday was parked in the driveway. He was glad to have it. Not every kid had parents who could afford to give them a nice car for their birthday. His best friend Jake Finnegan, for instance, had to drive a piece of junk from his dad’s used car lot. Danny felt sorry for Jake that he had it so rough. When Jake’s parents got divorced it really hurt Jake, and Danny had been there for him through it all. Jake felt like his parents had put him in the middle of their war as they fought over everything. He wasn’t wrong.

Danny had offered to pick Jake up on the way to band practice, but Jake wanted to drive himself. Danny knew it was because Jake would want to be at practice earlier than he needed to be. Jake was very ambitious when it came to band. He’d been a section leader since sophomore year and this year he was going to be the field commander. That was a massive responsibility and showed the confidence Mr. Reilly had in Jake. Danny had been teasing Jake ever since the news of Jake’s promotion had become public, calling him a teacher’s pet and silly stuff like that. It was all playful of course - mostly. Danny was actually super-proud of his best friend’s accomplishments, but sometimes he felt like Jake was a little too comfortable being in charge. Danny was just hoping to move up into the section leader of the high brass now that Jake’s boyfriend, Kyle, had graduated from Mon Valley High School and gone off to Penn State. He wanted Mr. Reilly to see how hard he’d been working to improve. He was tired of being looked at like a joke all the time. Danny could be ambitious too.

Danny parked next to Jake’s crappy dad-car when he pulled into the school parking lot. He had shown up ten minutes early, but Jake had probably already been there for half an hour. He took one more look in the rear view mirror and did his best to tame his hair before walking into school as a senior for the first time. He found Jake sitting in his usual seat in the band room, practicing the music for the field show on his trombone.

“I thought you didn’t have to practice anymore now that you’re the field commander,” Danny said.

Jake looked up from the music. “I still need to know the music. Besides, I actually like practicing. I see you managed to take your trumpet home over the summer. Did you even look at the music?”

“How dare you!” Danny said, feigning offense. “I’ll have you know I have been practicing all summer. Not only am I going to crush “Moves Like Jagger” but I also am ready to rock “Uptown Funk.” Mr. Reilly gave me some drills to work on too. Someone has to step up now that Kyle’s gone.”

“And you think it’s going to be you?” Jake asked.

“Definitely. How is Mr. Perfect anyway?”

“Kyle was hoping to be here today to help out, but he had to go up to State College for a band audition thing,” Jake said.

“Aw, are you feeling lonely, Jake?” Danny asked. “I know you miss Kyle. But at least you'll have me for company at band camp again.”

“Oh no! We're not doing that again!”

“Who said anything about doing ‘that’ again?” Danny asked, grinning. “I was just talking about keeping each other company. Neither of us has our significant other with us right now.”

“You have a significant other?” Jake asked. “I can’t keep track of who you’re dating from week to week.”

“Jealous?” Danny asked.

Jake just sighed and shook his head. Danny was definitely going to be a handful this year.

“Jake, don’t turn into Kyle. You’re still allowed to have fun even if you are the field commander.”

“Danny, I have a lot of responsibility. I’m sorry I can’t be all carefree and fun like you.”

“And you don’t think I can be serious?”

Jake’s mouth opened, but he stopped himself before he spoke.

Danny sighed. He wondered if Jake was ever going to take him seriously.

It wasn’t long before the band room began to fill with kids. There were even more students in band than there had been the year before. It seemed for every senior who had graduated, there were two freshmen who had taken their place. At exactly nine o’clock, Brett Reilly walked into the band room to begin his third year as band director. Everyone quickly quieted down.

“Good morning everyone. My name is Mr. Reilly and I want to welcome you to the 2018-2019 band season. We have a busy season coming up, some parades and a few festivals are on the schedule, along with the football games, concert and jazz bands. We’ve also added a trip in the spring to Virginia Beach. So we’re going to need to be very intentional with how we utilize our time this year. And with all that going on, my husband and I are expecting our first child at any time, so my personal schedule is about to have a bomb dropped into it. So, let’s get started.”

Danny found his cellphone in his pocket and stealthily texted a short message to Jake. He smiled to himself at his humor and watched Jake squirm. Danny had become an expert at sending text messages in class without being caught.

Jake’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He knew it was Danny, he’d watched him trying to sneakily text him. But there was no way he was going to even think about checking his phone on the very first day of band practice in front of the whole band looking up to him.

“I want to introduce our field commander for the upcoming season, Jacob Finnegan,” Mr. Reilly continued. “Jake is a senior and has been our low brass captain the last two years. That means we’ll need a new low brass captain, which gives me the opportunity to remind all of you that no one is guaranteed a position in this band. Jake started as a captain as a sophomore because he worked hard, paid attention, and had a heart for this band. That’s what I’m looking for in those who I choose to step into leadership. Your age and grade mean nothing here. It’s what you do that matters. We have a fun theme of 2010s music this year, and I think we’ll have a lot of fun if we work together. Now to get started, I’m going to have Jake get you tuned up and then we’ll practice scales this morning. This afternoon we’ll be practicing marching outside, so anyone who didn’t bring sneakers is going to have to call home and have someone bring them to you during break.”

With that, Mr. Reilly turned the band over to Jake, who spent the morning getting the band tuned and practicing the B-flat major scale. Mr. Reilly oversaw everything with his keen ear and watchful eye. Several of the freshmen kids reached for their phones at the first break to ask their parents to bring sneakers for them. Jake checked his phone too.

“How can two men have a baby?” Danny had texted him.

Jake sighed. “How are you the president of the LGBTQ Alliance and still such an idiot?” he texted in reply. Jake and Danny already knew about Mr. Reilly’s expanding family, of course. Mr. Reilly had called Jake during the summer break and explained the situation. That was when Mr. Reilly had asked Jake to be the new field commander.

“I need someone I can trust to lead the band in case things happen on the home front,” Mr. Reilly had explained. The retired band director Mr. Butler would be filling in for Mr. Reilly while he was on paternity leave, but Jake knew Mr. Reilly would be counting on him to keep things running smoothly.

Jake texted Kyle. “Just led scales. Mr. R. is so chill this year. It’s kinda weird.”

“Fatherhood does that to you,” Kyle replied.

“You’ll never guess what we’re doing next.”

“Band on Parade?” Kyle replied.

“Lol! No, marching practice.”

“Have fun!” Kyle replied.

After a few minutes, just before it was time to start practicing again, Jake received one more message from Kyle. “I hate it here. I miss you so much!”

Jake only had time to send a hug emoji before it was time to start gathering up everybody to head to the parking lot for marching practice.

Kyle McHenry slipped the cellphone he’d been given as a gift from Danny back into his pocket and joined his section for intense rehearsal. He thought Mr. Reilly had run a tight ship, but being at a Division I school playing in the band for one of the top teams in the country was in a different league. Kyle had so eagerly desired to escape the dreadful pit of despair that was Mon Valley High, but now all he could do was think about when he might be able to go back. He missed Jake. He missed being the best player in the band. He missed his dad, which surprised him. But mostly, he just missed being Jake’s boyfriend. They had grown so close in the short time they’d been together during the last half of his senior year. He liked being able to send messages, and see Jake’s face on Skype, but he missed touching him. He missed the way Jake held him, kissed him, listened to music until late in the night with him. He even missed the way Jake smelled and called him ‘Ky.’ He never expected to be so homesick.

Kyle returned to the audition hall and became just another trumpet player trying to make the cut alongside dozens of other kids who had been the best player in the band at their home school too. Mr. Reilly had warned Kyle that most first-year students don’t make the cut to be in the marching band at Penn State, but Kyle was determined to defy the odds. It would be several hours before he would be able to reach out to Jake again. Checking one’s cellphone during practice sessions was a good way to get cut by the end of the session.

Back at Mon Valley High, Mr. Reilly was impressed by what he saw. Marching practice on the first day had never gone so smoothly. The kids had been working hard over the summer, and Jake was even more of a drill instructor than Mr. Reilly, which gave him the time to observe the students intently. There were future leaders in this group of kids, and they usually revealed themselves during these seemingly mundane moments. Who were the ones who kept their head up? Who were the helpers? Who gave this ordinary practice that extra something?

Mr. Reilly had a whole spreadsheet in his files on each kid in the band. When Brett found something interesting, he could spend hours working on it and not even realize where the time went. Finding the diamonds in the rough among the kids was the most interesting part of his job. He was so proud of the way Jake Finnegan had grown as a leader over the last few years. He was one of the kids he’d inherited in his first year as band director. The first kid to get “the talk.” He’d been tougher on Jake than anybody, to the point Jake had snapped on him at band camp last year and told him to fuck off. All part of the learning process, of course. Brett couldn’t have been prouder of how Jake had matured since then. He knew Jake’s boyfriend, Kyle, had been a huge influence on him. He was certainly a better influence than…

“Rossi! Left on one!” Jake shouted.

Danny Rossi stumbled over his feet and gave a glare at his best friend and field commander who had just called him out in front of everybody... again. Danny made an “L” with his finger and thumb on his left hand and showed Jake, though there was another finger Danny had in mind to show Jake in that moment. He resisted the urge to flip off his best friend and kept silently counting to four in his head while Mr. Reilly tapped a steady rhythm on a snare drum all afternoon.

Mr. Reilly’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he quickly checked it. It was his husband, Billy. Billy never called during work, so it must be important. Brett handed off the snare drum to one of the drummers and wandered away to take the call.

“Everything okay, babe?” Brett asked.

“Is there a difference between eggshell and cream?” Billy asked, sounding a little desperate.

“This is worth a phone call?” Brett asked. “It’s band week.”

“You know I suck at this kind of decision, Brett. The guys at work are leaning toward cream, but I think eggshell has a warmer quality…”

“Billy, you know I’m going to be happy with either one. The baby won’t care if the nursery walls are white, eggshell, or cream, or bisque, or any of the other 39 shades of white you’ve looked at. This isn’t an emergency. You’re only supposed to call me at work this week if it’s…”

“This is our child’s future, Brett! I pick the wrong fucking color for this room and the kid grows up to be an arsonist or something.”

“Billy, it’s not…”

“I swear if you tell me it’s not a big deal one more time I’m going to fucking lose it.”

“Billy, I’m not going to pick the color for you. You’re just going to have to pick one and live with it. Now I have to get back to work.”

Brett hung up his phone and set it to silent instead of vibrate. He’d been dealing with Billy’s panic over baby stuff for months now, and he knew it was only going to get worse when the baby finally arrived. The baby could literally arrive at any time, which is why he’d kept his phone on during practice in the first place. They had gone with a fantastic adoption agency, one that had a reputation for helping same-sex couples start their families. Billy and Brett had been approved at every point of the process. Now they were in the waiting period. The waiting was truly the hardest part, as Tom Petty had once said. Neither Billy nor Brett were good at waiting. Brett got impatient waiting for microwave popcorn. Billy’s way of coping with the anxiety was analyzing everything to the point of obsession. Brett was beginning to dread seeing Billy’s name pop up on his phone. Not everything was a crisis.

And honestly, Brett had serious doubts about the color-judging skills of an office full of accountants who Billy had been subjecting to his little sample paint chips and swatches since April.

“Okay, good practice everyone,” Mr. Reilly announced at the end of the day. “You all did great. So tonight, work on “Party Rock Anthem” and “Thrift Shop” and we’ll start putting our field show together in the morning. Also, let me see Rossi and Finnegan in my office please.”

Danny beamed. He’d waited his whole high school career for the moment Mr. Reilly would call him to his office for “the talk.” He quickly put his trumpet away and joined Mr. Reilly and Jake in the band director’s office. He’d been in this room many times before, mostly to get yelled at.

“Have a seat, boys,” Mr. Reilly said. The boys obeyed. “So what did you think of practice today?”

“I thought it went better than last year’s first practice,” Jake said, his blond hair soaked with sweat which made it look a shade darker. “There were some seniors who really should know better by now who kept messing up basic stuff.”

“What do you think about that, Rossi?”

“I did my best!” Danny protested. “Jake was on my ass all day.”

“No I wasn’t… I…”

“’Left on one and three, Rossi.’ It was humiliating! I’m not a fucking idiot. I know how to march.”

“Danny, settle down,” Mr. Reilly said.

“I wouldn’t have said anything if you had been in step,” Jake replied.

“So what? You brought me in here to yell at me? To make me feel like an asshole?”

“No, I brought you in here to make you the high brass captain, but the way you’re reacting to Jake’s leadership I’m reconsidering my decision.”

“Wait… You mean…” Danny asked, confused.

“Until this meeting, I’d been impressed with the way you were leading.”

“Yeah, me too, Danny,” Jake chipped in. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you when I called you out. I…”

“Aw, you guys got me good!” Danny said. “Here I thought you were mad at me. I was just kidding when I told you to fuck off.” Danny blushed.

Mr. Reilly sighed. “Get out of my office, boys. Rossi, be here fifteen minutes early tomorrow. I expect my captains to get here early.”

Danny quickly left the office, looking like he’d just won the lottery. Jake stayed behind with Mr. Reilly and closed the door.

“This is probably a mistake,” Jake warned.

“I know,” Mr. Reilly said. “He’s not Kyle, but he’s eager to prove himself, and that’s worth giving him a chance. He brings something different, and I think needed, to the band. And besides, I didn’t give up on you, did I?”

“No… You probably wanted to sometimes, huh?”

Mr. Reilly smiled. “Get some sleep tonight, Finnegan. Go see if you can peel Rossi off the ceiling. I’ve got to make sure Billy’s not having a meltdown over eggshell or ivory.”

“Any word on the adoption yet?” Jake asked.

“Still in baby limbo,” Mr. Reilly replied.

“I’m sure with the way my dad is I probably have a half-sibling somewhere out there you could probably have.”

“Good night, Finnegan,” Mr. Reilly said.

Brett sighed as Jake closed the door. He hoped he would have a better relationship with his child than Jake’s father had with him. Brett hadn’t even known who his father was growing up, and once he found out that his father was his mom’s best friend’s husband… Well… Brett hadn’t exactly had the best parental role models growing up. He’d be damned if he was ever going to read his mother’s lengthy psychological tome on parenting. To this day he still cringed when someone asked if he was Dr. Jennifer Reilly’s son.

Brett checked his phone to see he’d missed a text message from Billy.

“Sorry I called you at work. I’m just really excited about being a dad and I couldn’t ask for anybody better to share this life with than you. I just want everything to be perfect. I love you!”

Brett smiled and texted a heart emoji back to Billy. He really did have the best husband in the world. Brett slipped out through the back door of the school and sat on the steps. He wasn’t allowed to smoke on school property, but that didn’t stop him from lighting up a cigarette.

Jake joined Danny in the band room. “Congratulations,” Jake said. “You must be excited. I know how much this means to you.”

Danny smiled and accepted the handshake Jake was offering. “Are you saying this in your official capacity as field commander or as my best friend?”

“Both,” Jake replied. “Look, I can’t play favorites, Danny. Neither can Mr. Reilly. That should make you feel better, because you know Mr. Reilly chose you based on merit, not because he knows you.”

“But you don’t agree with him, do you?”

“I agree,” Jake replied. “It’s just…”

“It’s just that I’m not Kyle, right?”

Jake sighed. “Danny, I know you’re not Kyle. No one is. But you’re better than Kyle in some ways. You’re more outgoing and social. You’re a natural leader. People will listen to you because you can relate to them better than Kyle could. And I’m saying that as your friend AND as your field commander.”

“How’s he liking Penn State?” Danny asked.

“He’s miserable. That should make you happy.”

“It doesn’t,” Danny said. “Well, maybe a little…”

“So, you want to catch a bite to eat or something?”

“I can’t. I have plans.”

“What kind of plans, and who is she?”

Danny grinned. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Maybe I’ll keep it a secret for a little while.”

Jake smiled. “Oh! So it’s that kind of plans. Well, I hope you have fun, whoever he is.”

“No hints,” Danny said.

The boys walked to their cars and Danny made sure Jake’s used dad-car started and made it off the lot and then he sighed. It had been a good day, but he was exhausted. It took a lot of energy to be Danny Rossi. He watched as the football team made their way back from the practice field to head into the locker room.

“Good practice today, guys?” Danny asked.

“Fuck off, Rossi,” Brenton Baker, the school’s massively popular quarterback sneered.

“That’s some good school spirit, Baker,” Danny replied. Brenton had been one of the most vocal bullies when Danny had been outed as bisexual last year. “We’re not going to beat Central Catholic with that attitude.”

Baker stopped and turned toward Danny, now sitting on the hood of his car.

“You have a problem, gay boy?”

“I’m bi, not gay. Not like you’d understand. It doesn’t involve tossing a ball at people.”

Before things could get uncomfortable, one of the team’s linebackers, Danny couldn’t remember his name, had grabbed a hold of Baker and was guiding him away.

“I hope you learn to block better than that when the season starts,” Danny laughed. “That’s a ten-yard holding penalty.”

“Dude, you’re such a prick,” Ryan Crawford, the school’s star junior wide receiver said as he passed by Danny. Danny just smiled. These boys were going to have to get a thicker skin if they were going to improve over last year’s one-and-done playoff appearance. If they couldn’t take a little friendly heckling from someone on their side, how were they going to beat Central Catholic?

Danny stayed on the hood of his car and played around on his phone. After about fifteen minutes, most of the team had showered, gone to their cars and left. Finally, after almost the whole team had left, Ryan Crawford emerged from the locker room. He looked around nervously before quickly walking over to Danny’s car.

“What are you doing, stirring everybody up like that?”

Danny smiled. “Were you stirred up, Crawford?”

Ryan scoffed. “Baker wants to kill you. You’re going to get destroyed if you keep it up.”

“Baker can get glad in the same pants he got mad in,” Danny replied.

“I’m not kidding,” Ryan said.

“Does Baker make you feel anxious, Ryan?”

“No. You do,” Ryan replied.

“Aw! I thought you liked that…” Danny grinned.

“Dude, not here!” Ryan quickly scolded.

“Hot tub, then?” Danny suggested.

Ryan grinned. “That sounds good. It was a hard practice.”

“It’s about to get harder. Get in,” Danny said. “This is definitely going to be my year,” he said to himself as he slipped into the driver’s seat next to Ryan. Jake was going to freak out when he found out Danny was sleeping with Jake’s ex-boyfriend.