Frozen [Mychyl Kime] - 6. Chapter 6

A couple uneventful, but stressful, hours passed, and I couldn't seem to find Tyler anywhere. Finally, after walking directly up to one of his classes, and finding out he never showed up for class, I figured he'd gone home for the day, and I decided to go to his house, hoping against hope that he was by himself... it might seem weird, me showing up at his house in the middle of the schoolday. Especially since I never went over there, not by choice.

I walked home, getting my barely-used bike from the back yard, and raced over to his house, halfway across the neighborhood... a decently long walk, but as fast as I was going, I made it there in only a few minutes. Walking my bike the last few feet to his front door, I saw that both his mom's and dad's cars were gone. Good, I thought, that meant we'd have the house to ourselves, so we could talk...

I knocked on the door, but no answer. I waited a minute, then knocked a bit harder, and still nothing. I thought about calling his name out, but I didn't want to draw more attention than I had to, especially not right now, when we should both be in school, some distance off. Cursing under my breath, I snuck around to the backyard and saw him, sitting huddled on the back porch, sobbing brokenly into his knees.

"Tyler," I said softly, dropping my bike and running to him, breaking him out of his reverie.

"Don't!" he sobbed, staring at me in fear. "Don't come over here... just leave me alone... I can't... I..." He deteriorated into broken sobs, the rest of his sentence incoherent. I tried to grab him and hug him, but he pulled away and went inside, locking the door behind him. Through the door, I could barely hear him saying, "Please... just go away... I don't wanna see you anymore... I can't..." and heard him running away from the door...

In that second, when just what he'd said registered, my legs gave out under me, and I fell to the porch, unable to control my body. Why was this happening to me? I'd finally found someone I could love, who I could be with and who could love me for who I am, and now... now he wanted nothing to do with me? What the Hel was going on? Unable to hold in the sorrow and frustration, I started sobbing, just laying there on his back porch, unable to move, paralyzed with sorrow and loss, and a million other feelings all flashing past too swiftly to register. All I knew was, the boy I loved was inside this house, but he wanted nothing to do with me anymore... all because he was afraid. Very afraid.

I noticed a dull pain in the base of my skull, but before I could figure out what it was, I passed out, into oblivion...

~*~

I woke up as the setting sun began to stain the edges of the horizon, and sat up groggily, my puffy eyes sore from the sobbing earlier, and I heard a car approaching... which, from the sounds of it, was my uncle's car, what with all the backfiring as it went. Moving quickly so as to not be discovered back here in their back yard, I got up and went to my bike, standing it up and racing away, down the backroads to my house, where I was greeted to my mother, waiting for me.

"Why weren't you at school today?" she demanded as I locked up my bike in the back yard. "I got a call from the school, and you took off halfway through the day... they were worried about you."

I apologized softly to her, walking up into the house and going to my room, letting myself fall to my bed and back into oblivion, hoping I'd never wake up again, so I didn't have to feel this pain anymore...

~*~

I woke up again just before sunrise the next morning. Sighing inwardly that I couldn't just sleep away to nonexistence like I wanted, I got up and got ready for school, hoping that maybe I could catch Tyler at school and talk to him... maybe if I could tell him what TJ said, he'd be OK and we could be back together... maybe, a thousand maybes. I felt... so empty without Tyler, and I didn't know what to do to fix the situation... all I could do was hope, and wait, and see what happened. And I hated every second of it.

School passed uneventfully, but very slowly. Tyler, it seemed, once again hadn't shown up to school. I knew, then and there, it didn't matter. I wouldn't be able to talk to him... he wouldn't talk to me at his house, he never showed up to school anymore, and I knew he'd never come over to my house again... I was lost and helpless, floating in an ocean of my misery, of the worst suffering any human could ever endure, and I was all alone there. No one could help me, even if they knew how... and no one would, even if they could. Nothing at all mattered anymore.

This in mind, after school, I went home and did my homework quickly, not wanting to remember. Not wanting to remember when me and Tyler had done our homework right there, how he'd fallen asleep on my desk... the words he'd uttered when I woke him... I tried, desperately, to forget it all, but my mind didn't seem to want to cooperate.

Pushing my homework aside disgustedly, I got up and went to the living room, sitting in my usual chair, loading up the Playstation... and one of his games was in, its loading screen staring at me, almost seeming to enjoy the torture I was going through. I let out a single choked sob before popping the lid on the system, yanking the disc out, and putting in one of my own games, forcing my mind to focus deeply into the game, so deep I'd lost track of time until I almost fell asleep, the controller still in my hand, the silence and darkness of midnight staining the room, closing around me, taunting my aloneness.

I shut down the system and went to my room, laying down on my bed, and stripped quickly, remembering when I'd laid in bed with Tyler, our bodies intertwined, our hearts beating in unison...

I felt weak, almost sick to my stomach, as the memories continued to flood my mind, assailing me, consuming me, reminding me time and again of a love lost, who had once loved me, held me, cared for me...

With a choked scream, I threw myself to the bed, calling forth the wall of ice, pulling it close to me, feeling the ice numb away all my pain, driving off all emotion, all feeling of any sort. Then, too tired to fight the fatigue, I fell into oblivion...

~*~

I was alone, standing atop what appeared to be a pillar of pure ice. Harsh winds whipped all around, tearing at my clothing, chilling my skin, and my footing started to slip a bit on the slippery surface as the wind kept trying to push me this way and that. So focused was I on simply staying on my feet, I didn't realize anyone else was there until I heard a voice, softly carrying over the wind-noise.

"Let me help you!" a strange, yet somehow, familiar, voice called.

I spun around quickly, almost falling once more, seeing a man, barely older than me, reaching out to me, as though to help me... or embrace me. He seemed completely untouched by the dizzying winds. He was extremely cute, and seemed to care, concern shining in his warm crystal-blue eyes, his flaxen-colored hair framing his face perfectly...

"No!" I screamed, almost involuntarily, pulling away from him and, in the end, putting myself directly into a gust, knocking me completely off the pillar...

Falling, only one thought kept replaying in my head while I waited for the impact... If I never feel, he can't hurt me... Tyler can't hurt me... no one can...

~*~

I landed on the floor, coming back to reality with a sharp jolt. Panting heavily, trying desperately to catch my breah, and covered in a layer of sweat, I glanced at my cold hands, seeing the slightest tinge of blue to the tips of my fingers, almost like I'd gotten frostbite on them... With the resolve of someone between dream and reality, I breathed on them gently, trying to warm them, and saw the color return to them, felt the numbness leave my hands... I was relieved, but a but puzzled, trying to decide how a dream could affect me so... realistically...