Finding Myself - 6. Chapter 6: Troubled Times

August 27 2017

After I finished unpacking all my clothes in my new closet in a spare room at Jake’s house, I heard a knock. “Come in!” I called before sitting on the bed. Steven Grant, Jake’s dad, entered the room. “Hi, sir. Thanks so much for lettin’ us live here for a bit…”

“I trust you are settling in okay?” He asked in his British accent.

“Yessir,” I nodded. He looked around for a moment. The walls in here were a navy blue, which contrasted with my grey and red bedding.

“Look here, and listen, young man. I only decided on letting you stay for Jacob. You are his first friend since he started Secondary School. I understand you’re a bit of a troublemaker. If you get my son into trouble, you won’t be living here anymore, am I clear?”

My face blushed. “Uh, yessir,” I nodded nervously. Men are so bossy and intimidating. At least he’s not an abusive idiot like my dad.

“Very well. Please don’t be a bad influence on Jacob. He’s always been a well behaved young lad. Supper will be ready in a couple hours.”

August 28 2017

Jake and I sat down in our 8th grade homeroom class and compared schedules. We only had first period sports and seventh period ELA together. And it’s not like I would be seeing Jake during first period, since he’s in soccer and I am going to try to go out for basketball in a couple months since I didn’t make the flag football team. The teacher proceeded to lecture me on my dress code violation since I was wearing a tank top in school, which apparently boys aren’t allowed to do... but girls can for whatever reason... That sucks. A lot of girls were amazed that I had grown two inches over the summer and gained some muscle.

We spent most of the first day of school in home room, going over school procedures and rules. It was sooo boring. I pulled out my sketch book to work on drawings.

“Aedan, pay attention...” Jake nudged me with his elbow.

“No, stop,” I whispered back. “I don’t care.”

“Stop talking, you two,” the teacher paused.

“Yea, Jake...” I glared at him. She continued talking and I went back to sketching. Jake rolled his eyes.

“Nice drawings,” a girl next to me said. I smiled at her and showed her what I was drawing.

“Aedan can you please put that away and pay attention?” The teacher asked.

“Um, yes, ma’am,” I blushed and put the sketch book away in my backpack.

“Excuse me?” The teacher seemed offended.

“Sorry, ma’am... I won’t draw any more,” I apologized. “I’ll save it for art class.”

“I am not that old...” she mumbled. Jake chuckled.

Jake, Nina, Ian, Connor, and I were sitting in the cafeteria for lunch. “Wait... so women here think ‘ma’am’ is for old people?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Connor laughed. “Sorry, Aedan... I know you were just being polite.”

“I think your southern hospitality is charming,” Nina booped my nose.

“Mrs. Johnson is just a snob anyways,” Ian shook his head before taking another bite of the sandwich he was eating for lunch.

I rolled my eyes. Teachers were so annoying.

“Aedan, take my hoodie,” Jake offered, pulling it up over his head.

“Thanks. Teachers have been giving me stupid warnings all day about my sleeveless shirt.” I put on Jake’s hoodie. It was a little small on me but fit fine enough. “I won’t get as much attention from girls though.” I smirked. Nina playfully hit me.

Sept 18 2017

Jake and I were walking together to ELA class at the end of the day. We were running late because Jake has a tiny bladder and needed to stop to pee in the restroom. “Jake, why are you hanging out with that faggot hick loser?” Some guy asked as he grabbed a book from his locker.

“Excuse me?” I stopped walking and cocked an eyebrow.

“Aedan, come on we need to get to class,” Jake whined. “Ignore him. Seth’s just a jerk.”

“You think I’m a faggot and a loser?” I asked, grabbing his shirt collar.

Seth gulped. I shoved the little punk into the locker and kicked the door shut. “Aedan! What the…?!” Jake gasped as I ran off. Whyyyy did I do that????!

I looked around. There were no teachers around as the tardy bell had just rung. I ran out the exit at the end of the hall and made my way to the woods behind the school. I had left my cell phone and MP3 player in my locker so I couldn’t do much out here. I couldn’t go back in there though. I’d be in so much trouble! I walked through the forest to the river. Some of the trees were starting to turn yellow for the fall. It would be a great opportunity to draw if I wasn’t a fugitive. The afternoon air was chilly and I very much began to regret wearing shorts today. I walked along the river to the bridge on the road that led to Jake’s mansion. Thankfully, no one was home except my sister Violet (high school starts and ends an hour earlier than middle school), so I could get in without being interrogated. I grabbed a snack and went up to my room to chill out. About 20 minutes later, I heard Jake and River arrive home. I groaned when I heard Jake knock at my bedroom door. I didn’t answer and pretended like I wasn’t home.

“Aedan, I heard you groan. Open up the door. Now.” He growled. I don’t think I ever heard Jake growl before. I guess I am becoming a bad influence on him! Oh no… Steven’s warning!

“Hey,” I blushed as I opened the door.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“What the fuck was what?”

“You know what I mean, Aedan!” Jake attempted to shove me but I guess I’m too heavy for him to push! “What is wrong with you?!”

“Dude calm down. Seth was askin’ for it.” I tried to hide my guilt. I guess I let my anger get the better of me.

“No he wasn’t, Aedan! He verbally taunted you that doesn’t mean you can assault him!” He turned around and I think I heard a few tears in his voice. “You’re a bully, Aedan.”

“Wait… Jake…”

“No. I won’t tell your mom or my parents about this because I guess I’m too nice to let you be sent out of my house.”

“Who’d you tell?”

“The school staff. Seth needed to go to the nurse. You probably gave him a concussion.”

“Fuck… Jake…”

“What? You thought because I’m your best friend that I’d let you get away with bullying?!”

I shook my head.

“I know what my dad said to you. He told me to not let you be a bad influence on me. I know what he meant by that, now. So don’t think I’m going to get in trouble with you.” Jake shut the door as he walked out.

Sept 19 2017

I sat down in the principal’s office. I was in here for the second time since school started. I had only gone twice in my whole seventh grade year, and only one of those was because I was in trouble. I was wearing a black hoodie, with the hood covering everything but my face and unruly bangs. I was nailing the emo bad boy look with converse and skinny jeans too. I was in a pissy mood because Nina and I broke up over my outburst, and for Jake calling me a bully.

“Mister Jackson, you know the rules, put your hood down.” I rolled my eyes and removed the hood. I guess he could see that I had my earbuds in, as I was listening to country music. “Remove the earbuds, young man....” the principal said sternly. I did as he said. Now the music was playing for the whole office. “And turn off the music!” he ordered. I opened my phone and stopped the music. “Do you know why you’re in here?”

“No, sir,” I ran my hand through my hair and rolled my eyes.

“You seem to be quite ignorant and arrogant, then. You don’t recall shoving Seth Nuñez into his locker and then totally ditching seventh period yesterday? Your friend Jacob Grant notified me of the incident. Maybe some of his exemplary behavior will rub off onto you if you don’t turn him into a delinquent, too.”

“Seth called me a faggot! Why isn’t he in trouble?!” I defended myself.

“Seth is resting at home today until he sees his doctor. I’ll speak to him when he is better. He has a concussion because of you.”

“Shit...” I muttered.

“Look, I don’t want to bring this up, but...” Principal Myers was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Come in,” he said. I saw my mom enter. Shit... She took a seat in a chair next to me. “Thanks for joining us, Ms. Jackson.”

“No problem, sir. I just finished my shift a bit ago,” mom set down her purse. “I sure hope I am here for some kind of good news.”

“On the contrary, miss,” he began. “Your son’s discipline record is quite severe. Aedan has had detention eight times this year. He has skipped class yesterday after a physical altercation. It’s only September, mind you.”

“How come I haven’t heard about this?” Mom asked before glaring at me. I was looking at the floor and playing with my fidget spinner.

“We gave your phone number a call each time...”

“Oh... you must still have our old home phone number,” mom explained. “Or my ex-husband’s number.”

The conversation went on for a while until a comment came from the principal. “Well, Ms. Jackson, it doesn’t surprise me this kind of behavior is coming from a teen in a troubled and fatherless home.”

“Bullshit!” I stood up.

“Aedan Liam Jackson!” Mom scolded me.

“Don’t bring my mom into this! She hasn’t done nothin' wrong!”

“It is true, we are in a bit of an abnormal housing situation. And the recent divorce has been hard on us all. Not to mention the domestic abuse he suffered from his dad.”

“I am sorry to hear about the troubles at home, but Aedan has shown complete disregard for the rules. If Aedan doesn’t improve his behavior, he will have to be sent to reform school until his behavior improves.”

“Reform school??” I asked, my eyes widened.

“Yes. It’s a place where unruly teenagers go to improve their behavior. It’s in Norwich, so not too far from here. You’d go there for seven periods a day instead of here.”

“Sir, I know Aedan has had behavioral issues before, with his ADHD and Asperger’s...” mom began. I blushed.

“Yes, and as I remember, he has an ADHD medication to take, correct?”

“The medication started giving him hives a couple years ago, so we took him off it.” Mom explained.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Sir, I’m a registered nurse. I think I know what hives look like...”

“Well, I am disappointed to hear that. Mister Jackson, for your punishment for yesterday’s... outburst...” Principal Myers glared at me. “You’re suspended for a week. You can return to campus next Wednesday. Until then, you can attend your classes online. I will let your teachers know.”

“What about art class?! I have a painting to complete for the Fall Festival!”

“You should have thought about that before getting yourself in trouble.”

“Wow, okay...” I scoffed. “I’ll see you in a week then, sir...” I shoved my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie. Pretty soon my mom and I left the school. I pulled my hood up over my head when we got outside, as I continued sulking. Mom took a seat on a bench by the entrance to the middle school and sighed. I immediately felt bad.

“Mom, it’ll be okay,” my voice cracked. I rubbed her back gently.

“Aedan, sit down, please,” she patted a spot on the bench next to her.

“Um, okay,” I mumbled and sat down. “I’m sorry... I...”

“Is everything okay?” She asked. “No lying. I know you want to act independent and mature. But it’s okay to tell me how you feel. Because at the end of the day, you’re only thirteen. You’re allowed to have emotions.”

“Mom... I... I’m scared... I should be happy that we left dad. I’m away from him. But I’m just... angry and alone... and confused.” Mom grabbed me in for a hug. “Why do I feel so awful?”

“I don’t know, honey. But we can talk about it whenever you want, okay?” I silently nodded.

“I, um, overheard you... with Gran... You... you... YOU SAID DAD WAS YOUR COUSIN! And you said it was a mistake. Tell me it ain’t true mom!” I saw her face take on a surprised expression.

“Aedan... it was so complicated. Back in Eastern Tennessee, so much of our town is related. Your father had a crush on me. I was younger... and only a teenager... so I was forced into it. But... you, Violet, and River are not mistakes. You’re my kids, and I love you very much. Did you tell anyone after you found out?” I shook my head, and wiped a tear from my eyes. “Okay. Thanks. You weren’t supposed to know until you were in high school, when you’re a bit more mature. Violet found out right before we moved out of Tennessee. She took the news poorly as well. And I assume the same for River too when he finds out.” She paused and looked me in the eyes. “Aedan, sweetheart, I know it’s a lot happening at once with the divorce, finding this out, and all in the middle of puberty and hormones, but you have to promise me that you’ll try to behave, okay? I don’t need you going off the rails. I couldn’t forgive myself if you went to juvy for your behavior.”

“I promise, mom. I... I... don't mean to act out.” I stuttered.

“Shh,” she pulled me in for another hug. “Thank you for telling me. Should we head home now?” I nodded silently and followed mom to her car.