The Year I Stopped Being Invisible - 37. Chapter 37

Blaine didn't go into too much detail about what had happened to him at Elden Croyle's house of horrors, but he didn't have to. It was written all over his face.

"It went on for a long time," was all he said. "A really, really long time."

He glossed over much of his remaining time in that little North Carolina town, and then told us how he had finally found his way to Asheville, where he had found work at a convenience store which had sustained him -- barely -- through a brief marriage to a young woman named Susan Ross.

"Susie was the love of my life," Blaine said. "But I wasn't the love of hers. She had fallen for a guy named Jerry when she was in high school, and he had left Asheville to go to New York right afterwards. It didn't work out for him there, so about six months into our marriage he came back. And that's when our marriage ended."

"What happened?" I asked.

Blaine looked up at me, his eyes raw and red.

"It was almost funny because it was so clichéd," he said slowly. "It was just like one of those TV soap operas. I got a stomach ache at work, probably from eating one of those damn microwave hot dogs. So I got a co-worker to cover for me and decided to go home early. When I got there, I saw Jerry's Pacer in the driveway. I should have turned around and left right then and there, but some stupid thing inside me always needs to know everything for sure. So I go inside the house, and there's clothes on the living room floor, and noises in the bedroom. So I followed the noises, opened the bedroom door, and...well, there they were."

Pain and bitterness were etched on Blaine's face as he recalled the moment that he had found the girl who had meant love, redemption, and everything else to him in the arms of another man.

Blaine had left Asheville then and came to Texas in search of his father and brother. He had seen Sly on television a few times speaking about Maggie Maxwell's death, and knew that he had moved to San Antonio with Taine in an attempt to start over.

"I wanted to start over, too," Blaine said. "But it's never as easy as just saying that. I was really worried how both Dad and Taine would react. I kind of figured that since Dad had bailed like I did, that he would maybe understand more why I had to do what I did. So I found that little motel by the school and I contacted him. I guess Dad told you the rest."

With that, Blaine sat back in his deck-chair, emotionally spent. He was looking straight ahead, and I was glad that he wasn't requiring me to have an immediate reaction.

I looked from Blaine to Sly to Taine.

I had no idea what I was supposed to say.

Blaine had laid out a story so thick with pain, anguish, bad decisions and guilt that I had no point of reference for handling it all.

I decided that I needed to talk to Taine, alone. I needed to know how he felt about Blaine's abandoning him, his reappearance, and his desire to be part of the Maxwell family again, to be Taine's brother again.

Sly seemed to sense my confusion and indecision. He stood from his deck-chair and gestured for Blaine to follow him into the house. Blaine seemed to want to say something more, but obeyed his father and left Taine and me outside by ourselves.

I stood up and went to a spot in front of Taine's chair.

Squatting between his Jegs sneakers and taking both of his hands in mine, I looked up into his face. His expression was blank, but his eyes held multitudes of swirling emotions.

I wanted so badly to just comfort him, but I needed some direction. I needed him to tell me how to react to Blaine's story.

"What do you want to do, Babes?" I asked him, my eyes pleading for guidance. "What do you want me to do?"

His eyes focused on mine, but his blank expression didn't change.

"I don't want to talk anymore," he said flatly. "I want you to hold me in your arms and make love to me and make all of this go away."

"Okay."

So I took him by the hand, led him past Sly and Blaine without a word, and began to climb the stairs to his room, the blind leading the blind to a place of the only comfort I could give him, a comfort beyond mere words.

We made sweet, tender love, both of us crying intermittently, holding and stroking each other as gently and solicitously as two lost souls ever have. When our climaxes came, they were slow, vulnerable, and deeply felt, joining us together in a soft bed of love, pain, and our mingled tears.

* * * * *

We showered for what seemed like hours, although it was probably only fifteen or twenty minutes. We stood facing each other, holding each other's slippery, nude and fragile bodies under the warm, gentle water. We kissed gently as the water poured over us, tenderly licking each other's lips and tongues, our eyes open the entire time.

We gazed deeply into each other's souls, perhaps looking for some answers to our own roiling emotions, while each of us reassured the other that we were in this together, no matter what.

The hat issue seemed long forgotten, and all that mattered was getting each other through the next second, the next minute, and prolonging our shower for as long as possible before we finally had to get dressed and go downstairs.

Neither of us was anxious to do that, because then we would have to answer the unspoken question raised by Sly's well-orchestrated presentation of Blaine and his story.

Finally, Taine nodded and stepped away from me.

I turned off the water and we got out of the shower, gently toweling each other dry as we had a few days before.

It had only been a few days, I thought, and in those few days, it seemed that almost everything in our lives had suddenly changed, except for our commitment to each other. That seemed to have only grown stronger.

We came together for one last nude embrace before dressing, and held each other tightly as if we were drowning and needed that embrace to avoid being swept away forever.

Reluctantly, we separated and put on our clothes.

When we were dressed, Taine looked at me once again and sighed, a look of determination coming over his face. He headed toward the steps, and I followed him.

As we walked, I realized two things.

The first was that we had not spoken a single word to each other since we had been upstairs.

The second was that Taine was not wearing his hat.

* * * * *

We found Sly and Blaine standing in the kitchen, facing each other with worried expressions. Sly moved back away from Blaine as Taine entered, with me keeping a respectful distance behind.

Sly gave me a questioning glance, to which I returned a shrug. I really had no idea what was about to happen.

Taine stopped about three feet in front of his brother, and they just looked at each other for a while.

Both of them seemed to be doing what Taine and I had done just a few days... a few days!... before, sending each other silent messages with their eyes, their minds, their hearts.

But for them, those messages went back for years.

I didn't know what they were saying to each other with their silent stares, but apparently they each got the message.

First, Blaine opened his arms. It wasn't a wide gesture, or a big one. He just shifted his arms ever so slightly -- almost imperceptibly -- so that if you didn't have an idea what he was doing, you might not have noticed.

Sly noticed, and had an expectant look on his face. I knew what outcome he was hoping for, and I think that in that split second, I had decided that I was hoping for the same result.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Taine moved forward until he was about a foot away from his brother. Then he threw himself into Blaine's arms, and all four of us were crying again.

After a minute or two, my Babes and his brother drew apart slightly.

Blaine looked at me, and it was a question.

Then Taine looked at me, and it was an invitation.

I threw myself into both of their arms, and then Sly came over and did the same.

The four of us were hugging and crying together in one big lump of joy and need and pain and acceptance, and I felt as if it wasn't just my lover who had found a brother that day, but that I had suddenly gained a brother as well.