Stepping Into The Light With You - 3. Chapter 3

THE phone buzzed twice and Kevin couldn’t avoid Justin’s text. Smthin has cum up. Cant make it. Sry… he typed back, without really meaning it and tossed the phone on his bed.

The room was quiet. Kevin sat on the edge of his bed watching Lucas, as he put his paperback inside his backpack. He hadn’t answered his question yet nor had he dared to look at him. On the other hand, Kevin was getting impatient. “Are you gonna tell me or what?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Lucas replied. He put the pack near the window and stood straight up brushing his hair off his forehead. “And it’s none of your business anyways.” Kevin could pick on the irritation in his tone and it pissed him off.

“The heck it isn’t!” His voice loudened, but he didn’t care. “You’re living with my family. This is my room and I gotta share it with you. And I have every right to know the kinda person I share my room with.”

“Being gay is not a kind.” Lucas scowled at the offense.

“You know what I mean.” Kevin snapped.

“No, Kevin,” he said, “I don’t know what you mean at all!”

“That …” Pointing at Lucas’ backpack, he continued, “That is what you bring to my room and it’s not acceptable.”

“That’s not fair. I’ve got my own likes and preferences. I know I’m living with you guys now but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to do what I want to do.”

Kevin waved his hand off. “Of course you can do what you want to do but … gay books? Seriously?”

“What’s wrong with that? And why do you have to assume I’d be gay if I read books with gay characters?”

“Romance books?” He scoffed.

Lucas frowned. “What difference does that make?”

“So you’re saying you aren’t gay?” Kevin asked.

“I did not say that.”

“Oh so you are, huh?”

“I didn’t say that either.”

Kevin shook his head. He was completely clueless. “What does that even mean?”

Lucas crossed his arms and sat back on the chair behind him. “It means that – again – it’s none of your business.”

“Dude!” He covered his face with his hands and bent over, resting the elbows on his thighs. “Will you stop being so annoying?”

He heard Lucas sigh deeply and looked up. The guy had his eyes closed when he said, “Look, Kevin.” He paused, opened his eyes and looked directly at him with helpless eyes. “I’m really grateful that I’ve got a place to call home with you guys. Aunt Gwen is great, and you’ve been great so far too – ‘kay, except for now – but yes, I would have had a hard time, if I were you, to let some strange kid enter my world or my family. Let alone my own room.” He went silent for a while, then mumbled something under his breath before saying out loud. “I am gay. And I’d really hate it if you judge me because of who I am.”

Kevin considered it.

Faggots. Cocksuckers. Ass-lovers. Name calling happened all the time which was directed toward some funny-acting guys at school. Kevin and his friends were never into that really but they never defended it either. He’d never had a gay friend before Lucas, so he never thought of how it was for a guy to be gay. In the back of his mind, he always felt being gay was a choice. Now that he gave it a second thought, he wondered why would Nick – one of the gay kids at school – choose to be gay and take on all that hatred from the jocks? He’d heard that Nick’s father had disowned him and he now lived separately with his mother at his grandparents’. Wouldn’t he choose not to be gay to avoid all that from happening?

“Kevin?”

“Did your mom know about this?” He asked, then looked at him.

Lucas swallowed a lump and nodded. “I came out to her when I was twelve and she supported me all along. It was she who got me all the gay Y.A. books. Okay, not Us Three – that one I was lucky enough to win at the author’s giveaway contest. It would be so weird to have her gift me a ménage book.” He chuckled.

“A what book?” Kevin asked.

He shook his head with an amused expression on his face. “Doesn’t matter. But yes, she knew all along that I was different than the other kids. It was awesome how well she took it. She hugged me, told me that she loved me no matter what.” His eyes glistened at the memory. “And I don’t think I had to wait long enough to tell her after I figured out myself.”

“And how did you figure it out?”

“That I was gay?” He made a funny expression. “When you are watching a movie and are more focused on the actor’s naked torso than anything else, you definitely know.”

Kevin nodded. “Homosexuality is a sin, according to the Bible.”

Lucas held his hand up. “Uh, Kevin? Respect for the bible and all … but it says a lot of things that can’t hold any truth. It’s twenty-first century, for Christ sake!”

“Yea, I am sort of an atheist myself. But I go to Church because my mom wants me to be a good inspiration to Spencer. She’s afraid he will turn out to be an atheist too looking at me.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.”

Lucas hesitated for a while before he asked, “Are you … going to tell Aunt Gwen?” Kevin looked up, clueless for a second. “About me being gay?”

“Honestly? I dunno …”

“I want to tell her myself.” Lucas suggested.

“You should but …” Kevin hesitated. “I don’t know how she’ll take it. I mean, she is nice n’ all but she is a hard-core believer and it won’t be as easy for her to accept this.”

Lucas cast his eyes downward. He worried his forehead and drowned himself in a sea of thoughts. Kevin didn’t know how to assure him when even he wasn’t certain about anything. After a while, Lucas got up and walked over to sit on the bed beside him. Kevin glanced sideways at him but the guy was still looking away. He didn’t say anything right away. But when he did, he touched Kevin’s shoulder lightly. Goosebumps formed inside his body at the touch. Woah! “Kevin, I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

Were they really friends? Kevin didn’t think so. But he didn’t want to sound rude by pointing out they were simply roommates-forced-upon-by-fate at the moment.

“Please Kevin.” Lucas’ sweet voice cracked and Kevin realized his opinion of him must have mattered to him a lot. “Say something.”

Kevin shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t change anything really. I was only mad because you hid it from me.”

“Not intentionally, I swear!”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I over-reacted. I shouldn’t have.”

Lucas shook his head vigorously. “Not your fault. I got too defensive.”

“No, man, every person should defend himself when the time comes. You were right all along. It isn’t my business.”

He smiled. “Thanks Kevin.” Lucas dropped the hand that he had placed on Kevin’s shoulder and the odd feeling inside his stomach faded. Kevin didn’t know how long they sat there watching the sky outside the window in silence but it was sort of comforting to just sit there.

Kevin heard the car down in the driveway. “Mom and Spencer are back,” he said to Lucas. “Let’s go.”

When they came downstairs, they found Gwen emptying the grocery bag and Spencer helping her put everything away. She looked up surprised. “Oh I didn’t expect to see you both here.” She held up the note that Lucas had apparently drafted out. “Didn’t you guys go?”

Kevin exchanged looks with Lucas, who looked back with concern. “We had a change of plans.”

“Well, good that you’re here.” Kevin then noticed how brightened up her face was. “Guess what?”

“What?” He and Lucas asked in unison.

Gwen laughed. “Well, I spoke to Mr. Gomez because he was home today and he said he can work things out for Lucas. So, maybe,” she said in sheer excitement, “Lucas will be back to school from Monday.”

*****

It wasn’t until Wednesday that Lucas’ transfer papers arrived from his old school which delayed everything. Mr. Gomez had assured Gwen that there was a vacant spot in Kevin’s class and Lucas would be taken in as soon as the papers were submitted to school. However, Gwen stressed over the fact that they were late to put in the application. “There isn’t a last date of application to this, mom. So, chill.” Kevin tried to explain but it was of no use. It was only when they received an approval call from the school, did she breathe a sigh of relief. Kevin couldn’t help but notice how invested she’d become in Lucas.

Meanwhile, his roommate was a ball of nervousness thinking about his first day at school. He’d keep asking Kevin about how other kids were back there and the teachers. He even made him go through his part of wardrobe to know if he had decent looking clothes. Even though it amused Kevin, he answered all of Lucas’ questions patiently. “I don’t want to look stupid, you know?”

“You’re okay, man, I promise.”

“Kay,” he whispered and folded his clothes for the second time.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Alright, come on.” He got off the bed, walked over to the study table and offered his hand to Lucas. “We’re getting outta here. Let’s go.”

Lucas didn’t make any move to get up immediately and stared up blankly between Kevin and his hand. “Where?” he asked.

“Tonight’s the playoff, I told you.” Kevin said. “And I think you should come too.”

“B-but it’s only five-thirty right now. Isn’t it too early …” his voice wavered as he spoke.

“You ask too many questions, man.” He huffed. Holding Lucas by his bicep, he pulled him up to his feet and dragged him out of the room. “We’re gonna meet Frank and Justin at the diner and then go to the playoffs together.”

“Your friends?”

“Yea, I mean I haven’t had a chance to intro you guys before today. And I think it would be good for you to see some familiar faces in school on Monday.” Lucas mumbled something as he was pulled across the living room toward the kitchen and Kevin laughed. He passed his mother sitting at the table and waved at her. “Bye Mom, we’re gonna eat at the diner with Frank n’ Justin and then head over to watch the game.”

“But …” his mother began to say, but Kevin didn’t stop.

“Be back before nine, I promise,” he said behind his back and he was out of the house before his mom could even stop him.

The diner was only five blocks away, so they walked. “So what do you think of the diner? Did you really like their food the other night?” His mom had taken them all out on Wednesday night because she wanted to celebrate successful completion of Lucas’ transfer to the new school. She loved to celebrate every single occasion that gave her happiness. So, she’d either make something special at home for dinner or simply eat out. Alan – her boss – had a policy of giving discounts to his employees and their family members when they ate at the diner so it never put a lot of pressure on her budget.

Lucas smiled and nodded. “It was nice. I really liked the pie they served.”

Kevin stopped briefly to look at Lucas. “Really?” he asked. “Coz I think everything else except that pie was pretty decent.”

“It wasn’t bad at all!”

“Well, of course you’d say that. You gotta taste the pie Justin’s dad makes.” Kevin said, smacking his lips. “Abso-fucking-lutely delicious! I get hungry every time I think about his pies. He’s that amazing!”

Lucas laughed. “You swore. I didn’t think you ever swore.”

He grinned ear to ear. “Get used to it now ‘coz there’s more where that comes from.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” Kevin said. “I don’t swear when I’m at home ‘coz you know … there’s Spencer.” He rolled his eyes. “And you never know from where that little guy would appear. You know how much he loves repeating the words everyone else says. Mom would kill me if he picked up something from me.” He opened the door for Lucas and gestured him to step in.

The guy blushed.

“What?” Kevin asked.

He shook his head and quietly entered.

Justin and Frank had occupied their usual table and they noticed them coming in right away. “Over here!” Justin waved his hand excitedly and Kevin watched his other friend Frank sinking down in his seat.

He glanced at Lucas, who was definitely feeling very awkward but still, had a sweet smile on his face. “Come on.” Kevin said. He gave a half hug to his friends out of habit. “Wassup. Hey, this is the guy I was telling you about who’s living with us now? And Lucas, these are my friends – this is Justin and that’s Frank.” He gestured at each of them.

Lucas waved at both and Justin nodded back.

“So you’re the guy who’s going around high-jacking people’s lives, I hear?” Frank asked with a fake smile on.

Lucas’ mouth fell open. “Wha-?”

Kevin palmed his shoulder and said, “Don’t listen to his shit. If you haven’t figured it out already, Frank’s known to be a kind of an asshole.” He spat, looking at his rude friend. With dark hair and bold black eyes, Frank looked the part of an exotic Asian model but only if he kept his mouth shut.

Frank raised the glass of coke in his hand. “Touché, dude!”

Justin threw a dirty look at him and turned to Lucas. “Ignore him. He hates everyone in this world, except for himself.” He sat back in the booth and moved inside to make some room for Lucas. “Come, sit down. I am damn hungry.”

While Lucas settled down beside him, Kevin took the seat beside Frank. “Do we know what we wanna eat?” he asked around the table. “We need to order right away if we have to like reach on time for the game.”

“I’ve already ordered a burger,” Justin said and offered the menu card to Lucas. “Have a look and decide.”

“Kay.” Lucas nodded, taking it and began to skim through the dishes.

“Listen,” Kevin said, calling for his attention, “I’m thinking of ordering fish n’ chips but they serve a whole lot of it. Would you like to share maybe?”

Beside him, he heard Frank grumble his disapproval the same time Lucas said, “Ugh, I hate fish and chips.”

Frank sat up straight and grinned. “Who woulda thought?”

“What?!”

“Dude! How can you not like fish and chips?” Justin asked animatedly, looking completely offended at that.

“Hey smarty-pants,” Frank called out. “Cut it out. There are like definitely better things than fish and chips in the world.”

Kevin couldn’t believe it. He expected Frank to be the last person on this planet to defend someone. He had known Frank all his life just like he had known Justin and he had never ever opened up to a stranger easily enough, let alone defend one. That guy had some serious trust issues; Kevin knew it well which is why it surprised him that something as simple as a food choice could work in Lucas’ favor. He cleared his throat, ignoring Justin’s angry retort at Frank calling him nerd and asked Lucas, “So what would you like to have?”

“Uh … I don’t…” he mumbled, not looking up from the menu. Suddenly, he pointed to something on it and his face lit it, “Oh this! Shrimp in Mac and Cheese.”

Justin did a face palm, accidentally pushing his glasses off. “Dude!” he said, adjusting them back in place.

“What?” Kevin asked.

“Freaky!” Frank laughed. “I ordered the same stuff. Gimme a high five,” he said raising his hand over the table.

Lucas hesitated at first. He looked at all three of them, a grin slowly appearing on his face, before he raised his hand too.

“Bro, are you like my food soul-mate or what?” Frank continued to laugh in his own amusement. “Let me see … oh, do you like scrambled eggs?”

“Meh, I can eat them, no biggie. But I devour it with onion and garlic.” Lucas said.

“God! The aroma when that onion and garlic’s cooking. Heaven!” Frank almost squeaked like a girl. “Oh my God! I can’t believe this.”

“Do you want me to pinch you, man?” Kevin asked, feeling a little jealous.

Their orders arrived, they ate and the food was paid for. However, the conversation between Lucas and Frank still went on. Justin tried to butt in once or twice and failed miserably. Kevin couldn’t understand how someone could talk about food for that long!

“So it’s settled.” Frank said dismissively.

“Huh,” Kevin said as he looked up, clueless. “What’s settled?”

Frank laughed. “Earth to, Kevin! I said we,” he said, gesturing between him and Lucas, “aren’t coming to your boring game. You and Justin can like go ahead and enjoy looking at those monkeys throwing balls at each other. Lucas wants to check out my classics DVD collection, so he’s coming over to my place.”

“If that’s okay with you, Kevin.”

He looked at Lucas and could see it in his eyes. He really wanted to go with Frank. “B-but guys, we had a plan, you can’t abandon us like that.”

“Cry me a river!”

“It’s okay, Frank. We can go with them now and I’ll come over some other time.”

“No way, Jose. We’re doing this right now.” Frank turned to Kevin, making a face. “Dude, what is wrong with you? I’m not interested in watching that stupid game, neither is Lucas. And I always come with you guys, don’t I?”

“Yes you do,” Justin said, still sipping his drink. “But we have to hear you whining throughout the game.”

“But I still do come!” Frank slapped the table aggressively. “Do you ever come to support me - like the good friends you are - to any of my musicals? And I ask nicely every single time.”

“Well, musicals are stupid.” He heard Lucas huff and Kevin rolled his eyes. Not again! But he didn’t say anything.

“Not as stupid as basketball!” Frank countered furrowing his eyebrows and crossed his arms.

Kevin sighed. “Look, if you wanna go, just go.” He said, irritated by the endless argument. “I don’t care.”

He heard him snort and glanced sideways. “Thanks a lot for your permission, Sir,” he said getting ready to go. “Now if you’ll please excuse us… we’ve got more important things to do. Unlike you guys.” Frank’s eternal fake smile on his face pushed Kevin’s buttons all the time. And looking at Justin’s reddened face, it seemed to have the same reaction on him too.

As they all stood up, Frank was first to go out of the diner. Lucas stopped, turned to Kevin with a guilty look on his face. “Kevin, I …”

“Just go, alright?” he snapped at him, even if he didn’t mean to.

“Look, I’ll talk to Frank.” Oh right! He’ll definitely listen to his food soul-mate. “We can still go to that game…”

“Lucas.” He interrupted him in a controlled tone. “You obviously wanna go with him and I don’t wanna keep you from having fun. If spending time checking out some boring DVD collection is your kinda fun, you should do that.”

“I …”

“Don’t forget though. We’ve promised my mom that we’d be back by nine.”

“Lucas!” Frank called out from the door. “Are you coming or what?”

“Come on, Justin,” Kevin said, gazing intensely into Lucas’ frightened eyes. “We’re gonna be late.”

They both stepped out, with Lucas following them quietly. It was almost dark, with only a hint of evening light spreading across the sky. When their paths separated, Kevin stopped in his tracks.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Justin asked.

He turned around to find Lucas walking silently beside Frank as they went down the street. “Hey asshole!” He called out and Frank turned immediately. “Make sure to drop him off at my place when you’re done. He’s still new around here.”

“You got it!” He yelled back.

Lucas kept turning around, as they walked. He kept looking at Kevin and definitely wasn’t paying any attention to what Frank was telling him. Even when they took a turn heading toward Frank’s house, Kevin stood at the same place looking straight ahead.

Justin placed a hand on his shoulder. “We should go.”

Kevin didn’t say anything for a minute. He shook his head ever so slightly and said, “Let’s not. Let’s go back home.”

*****

The clicking sound of the door made Kevin jump in his chair and from the corner of his eyes, he watched Lucas slowly entering the room. “Hi Kevin,” he said with a shaky voice.

Kevin pretended to be busy doing his homework and simply said, “Hey.”

Lucas waited for a while, moved around the room aimlessly and finally, disappeared inside the bathroom. Kevin checked the time – it was just over nine. For some reason, he had expected Lucas and Frank to get bored sooner than that after bailing on them and hoped Lucas would return.

At least, it turned out to be a fun night for someone.

He hated feeling the way he felt about the whole ordeal. However, it bothered him to think Frank had managed to crash his plans and make him look pathetic. And he crashed it with Lucas’ help. Frank had always been difficult to handle. But they’d been friends for so long. Yet, he had chosen to spend time with Lucas over them and that upset him immensely.

As if on cue, Kevin’s phone buzzed and he checked the incoming text. Dropped Lucas off safely. Sorry bout earlier.

Kevin was about to throw the phone across the room in his rage but stopped himself. There was no need for any more drama, he thought.

When Lucas came back, Kevin happened to look up and saw a smile playing on his lips. The guy hadn’t noticed he was being watched until later and his smile dropped. “Seems like you had a blast, huh?”

“No … yes … I mean …” He stuttered.

“It’s okay, Lucas. You can choose to have fun with whoever you want.”

Lucas walked over and sat on the edge of the bed facing Kevin. “Aunt Gwen said you were back home early. Did you guys not go for the game?” He asked so sweetly that staying mad at him became difficult.

“Oh, no,” he said and sat up straight. “I remembered there was this report for my Lit class we had to submit on Monday and I hadn’t even started working on it yet. I’d be screwed if I couldn’t get it done in time.”

“Kay.” Lucas said quietly, then said, “You sure it wasn’t because you were mad at us for bailing on you guys?”

He plastered a smile. “Why would I be mad? I was the one who told you to go.” Lucas stared into his eyes and it made him uncomfortable. Looking away, he gave out a nervous laugh. “I hope Frank wasn’t too much of a jerk to you.”

“No, he was great,” Lucas said. “He’s amazing and so fucking talented, if you get to know him.” Yeah I’ve only known him for like twelve years now. Not that long. “I think he hides it well behind that snarky attitude mask he puts on.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Lucas stood up. “He has got some great DVD collection of old movies. Some I hadn’t even heard of. My mom had a collection too and well, because of the fire …” He stopped mid-sentence and exhaled. “That’s why I wanted to check out his collection so badly. It’s silly, I know …”

“Not silly at all,” Kevin whispered, feeling awfully bad. He looked up and said, “I’m sorry for over-reacting.”

“Oh don’t be.” Lucas went over to get his clothes out of the closet. Kevin’s mother had systematically divided it into two parts to accommodate his belongings as well.

While inside, he said something that Kevin couldn’t quite hear. “What’s that?” he called out.

A shirtless Lucas came out. “I said, don’t be sorry. I totally understand why you’d be upset.” Kevin felt the heat radiating off his body looking at his lean built. Lucas talked but he couldn’t focus on anything else. He couldn’t even breathe normally. What brought him back to normal was when Lucas turned to go back into the closet to get his usual sleeping clothes on and something strange caught his attention.

“Hey, wait,” Kevin called out and Lucas turned half-way, perplexed at the urgency. “What’s that on your back?”

Lucas froze.

“Show me.”

He backed up. “It’s nothing.” He said, not very convincingly.

Kevin had to hold him and make him turn around. He did have some awful looking bruises on his back. They were thin and long, almost faded but obvious on his white skin. “Holy fuck!” Kevin swore as he traced one of the horizontal red lines with his finger.

Lucas turned swiftly around and backed off. He had tears in his eyes.

“Where did those come from, Lucas?” He asked.

Lucas swallowed. “I fell. It was an accident.”

“You fell?” Kevin rolled his eyes. “I can tell you are lying. What are you hiding?”

“Nothing!” He barked and went into the closet to grab his tee.

Putting it on, he walked past him but Kevin blocked his way. “If you don’t wanna tell me, I’m sure you’ll tell mom everything.”

The defensive exterior shattered and fear crept into Lucas’ eyes. “Please don’t tell Aunt Gwen about this.” He begged and a fresh set of tears came out.

“Then tell me!”

“My …” He sobbed and faked a laugh. “Well, Nate - my mother’s boyfriend was an artist, you can see. He loved to make an art sometimes with kitchen knives.” He averted his eyes, filled with humiliation when he said, “…and he did that on my back.”