Stepping Into The Light With You - 1. Chapter 1

“WHY do I get the feeling that you aren’t telling me everything?” Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and waited. “What are you hiding mom?” he asked, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he watched his mother bustling around with a spoon in her hand. She turned around to open the refrigerator and took the milk out but did not utter a word. “Mom, will you just tell me? I’m old enough to …”

“Look, honey,” she said, interrupting him, “I can’t do this right now. I promise we’ll talk about it later tonight. But right now, I really need to get this curry done.” She kept glancing at him briefly, not stopping her activities for a moment.

Kevin Thorne hated that his mother was so calm about the whole situation. He could never understand her. She would stay hopeful and cheerful even if a storm hit them and they had nowhere to go. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Alright, but don’t forget you’ve made a promise.”

His mom smiled at him. She kept the spoon at the counter and waddled her way toward Kevin. “You’re a good kid.” She gave him a quick hug and moved away. Peeking into the living room, she called out, “Where are you munchkin? Come n’ help mum set the table.”

Right on cue, Kevin watched his brother scamper into the kitchen. “I can do it myself, mum. I’m a big guy now,” announced the six-year old.

That made Kevin smile, in spite of his bad mood. He pet his brother’s head and said, “Of course, you’re.” He walked over to the counter and reached for a big serving bowl. “I’ll help make the salad.”

She beamed proudly. “You read my mind, honey. Thank you.”

He moved mechanically to get the vegetables out and started with the cabbage first. As he shredded it, he watched his mother closely. How can this not bother her? He thought. It changed their lives completely by having another person added under their roof. He knew exactly how hard it was for his mother already. She had to work double shifts just to feed them and now she had to think about Lucas too. It wasn’t fair; not to her and definitely not fair to Kevin, now that he had to share his room with a complete stranger. He hadn’t argued about it though because he was more concerned about his mother having to take care of another teenager in their house.

“So he’s really gonna live with us now, huh?” He asked, finishing up the salad with some lime juice and mayo.

“Asking me about that hundred times won’t change the answer, Kev.” She stopped and looked at him directly. “I’ve told you, honey, that poor kid has been through a lot lately. Try and understand that. It’ll make it easy for you to accept him.”

Kevin looked down at the salad, as he tossed it. “You keep asking me to understand him and his situation,” he mumbled. “How can you even expect me to understand? You haven’t told me anything.”

She didn’t reply to that immediately and from the corner of his eyes, Kevin saw her slowly returning back to stirring the sauce that had come to a boil now. He looked up and saw that she had pursed her lips.

Something was bothering her.

He stopped. “What is it, mom?”

“Tonight. I promised.” She said, just above the whisper. “Will you do me a favor and call Lucas for dinner? He hasn’t eaten anything since this morning. He’ll …” She said, “Just don’t take no for an answer and tell him I insisted?”

Kevin shook his head. “I’m not going. You go.”

“I’ll go!” Spencer volunteered. He had finished setting up the table and quite nicely too.

Their mother, however, had other plans. “Not you, munchkin. I’ve got a different work for you. Come ’ere,” she said and turned to Kevin putting one hand on her hip. “Why are you still here?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine! I’m going.” He took the salad bowl to the dining table and wiped his hands clean, before heading off to his room. Kevin had to literally drag himself up the stairs. It wasn’t because he didn’t like the guy. But Lucas’ presence made him feel awkward. It was very unusual for Kevin to be that nervous around someone. But for some reason, this guy managed to make him feel silly.

Lucas had arrived at their place that afternoon with Kevin’s mother. He was this quiet, fifteen year old kid who would easily stand out in the crowd. A perfect male version of Snow White from the fairy tale – milky white skin and blood red lips. However, unlike the princess, he had a peculiar light blond hair that fell freely on his forehead, lightly touching his long lashes. It was no less weird that Kevin was thinking of a guy that way but Lucas was quite a sight to an eye.

Kevin was told that he had met Lucas several times before but damn if he remembered! It wasn’t that odd considering that his mother was talking about a memory when they were only kids. But it made him wonder why Lucas had never visited them again. He made a mental note to ask his mother about that when they’d talk.

He reached only to find his room dimly lit and Lucas sat by the window with his knees pulled up and his head rested back on the wall. He was looking outside but most definitely had no interest in the beautiful sun setting at the horizon. His silhouette left Kevin speechless and for a moment, he forgot why he had come up to his room.

He cleared his throat to make his presence known and Lucas turned to him, startled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He held his hands up. When the guy’s posture relaxed a bit, Kevin dropped his hands and said, “I … uh – the dinner’s ready.”

“kay.” His voice came out sweetly. “I don’t feel like …”

“Mom has insisted. So, please don’t say no.”

Lucas considered it for a moment. “I can never say no to Aunt Gwen,” he said after a few seconds passed, in a tone that was barely audible. “Not after what she’s done for me.”

Kevin shifted his weight. “I’m sorry for your loss, by the way.”

He casted his eyes down and nodded slightly. “Thanks,” he said and without another word, Lucas stood up and walked over to him. Kevin held his breath as the piercing blue eyes stared back at him. “Kay.”

“Uh… what?”

The red lips twitched a bit and Kevin could see a very slight smile lightening those eyes up. “Let’s go.”

“Oh yea, sure.” He exhaled and laughed nervously.

“Lead the way?” Lucas asked and Kevin realized he was standing at the door, blocking the guy’s way out. He quickly stepped back and strode down the stairs without looking back even once.

As he opened the door to the kitchen to let Lucas in, Kevin did a face palm furtively.

He could be such a weirdo at times.

*****

As they all settled around the table, Gwen had to tell Lucas that they always said a short prayer to thank the Lord for the supper. He did not object and joined them all mumbling just Amen at the end. Food was passed around and Kevin watched his mother happily serving stuff in Lucas’ dish. “I hope you like the food I made.” She said.

“I’m sure I’ll like it.” He nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” She smiled a big one and went on to give Spencer some of the chicken.

Kevin took what he wanted after his mother was done and ate quietly. He glanced at Lucas every now and then just to make sure he was okay. Spencer was as usual rambling on and on with his mouth full and their mother had tried in vain – yet again - to tell him it wasn’t good to talk while eating. However, her sternness was lost on him. He wasn’t as chatty today as he was usually though.

Lucas hardly ate. He was mostly picking on his food and it didn’t go unnoticed by Kevin’s mother. “You don’t like it, honey?”

He sat up straight and gave her a crooked smile. “It’s good. It’s just that … I’m not too hungry right now.”

“But you haven’t eaten anything since morning, sweetie. And you only ate half a bagel.” Her voice was filled with concern. She reached to rub his back. “Eat as much as you want. We have enough for all of us.”

Lucas nodded. “Kay.”

“Try the salad,” Kevin suggested. “You haven’t even touched it yet.”

“Yes, please try it. Kevin has made it himself and he does make amazing salads,” his mom said proudly. “I can’t ever match up to it, even if I try and use the same recipe as he does.”

“Mom! Please …” He felt his face burn. “It’s just a salad.” Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Lucas taking a forkful into his mouth.

“How’s it? Good, right?” Gwen grinned.

“Yeah, it is.” He smiled and said, “I don’t usually like salads. But this one’s good.”

Kevin blushed and continued poking his chicken with the fork. “Thanks, man. I mean, I hate veggies too. So I make it a bit more interesting by adding a bit of salsa sauce and a bit more mayo for the dressing.”

“Guess, that’s it.” Lucas nodded. “My mom used to make salads which were so bland and I …” His mood suddenly turned gloomy and voice lowered when he continued, “and I told her she should try n’ stay away from the kitchen.”

Kevin exchanged looks with his mother and the tension around the table grew. It was awkward all over again for him. He shouldn’t have asked Lucas to try the salad in the first place. But how was I supposed to know it would remind him of his mom?

“Mum?”

“Yes munchkin?” She turned her attention to the curious little one.

Spencer watched Lucas closely when he asked, “When will his mum come back from heaven?”

Kevin couldn’t have imagined the tension growing more than it already was. “Spencer, will you shut up and eat your food?” He snapped.

Spencer pouted but Kevin was more concerned about the guy sitting right beside him. Lucas didn’t look at either of them. He had his eyes down focused on his food and his Adam’s apple visibly moved.

“Kev…” Gwen shook her head vigorously. She hated the idea of anyone yelling at kids and she never did it herself. “Munchkin, what have I told you about talking while eating your food?”

“But mum … you said …”

The sudden sound of a screeching chair made Kevin jump and he watched Lucas rushing toward the kitchen sink. Gwen followed him there immediately and rubbed the guy’s back as he threw up several times. Kevin went to stand by their side too. For as long as he had known his mother, he knew how emotionally sensitive she was. So it didn’t surprise him to see her cheeks getting wet in no time as she tried to soothe Lucas down. When he had apparently stopped puking, Lucas rinsed his mouth and drank the water that Gwen had offered him. His eyes were now bloodshot and tears fell freely down those reddened cheeks. Lucas sniffed. “I’m sorry. Please excuse me,” he said and staggered his way out of the kitchen.

Gwen placed her hand over her mouth, as she cried silently. “Give us strength, my lord,” she prayed and touched Kevin’s shoulder gently. “Go Kev, don’t let him be alone.” He didn’t need to be told twice. Kevin rushed out and reached his room within seconds.

Lucas lay on the ground, curled up and hugging himself as he cried his heart out. Kevin didn’t know whether to go console him or leave him alone. But in spite of his discomfort, he approached the guy slowly and sat down beside him. Lucas had his back toward him. Kevin hesitated for a while before reaching out. No sooner did his hand touch his shoulder, Lucas gathered himself quickly and sat up. He wiped his cheeks and nose clean with the back of his hand – or at least tried to as much as he could manage – and sniffed. “Sorry,” he said, repeating it a couple of times.

“No it’s okay. I understand.” Kevin said quietly.

Lucas gave out a sardonic laugh and said, “I am not usually an emotional fool.”

“I didn’t think you were, man.” Kevin assured. “But you’ve lost someone who was close to your heart.” He watched as Lucas continued to sniff and wipe his tears, but they never stopped. Kevin looked away, thinking how hard it must be for him to be all alone in this world. “I mean I can’t imagine my life without my mom …”

Lucas sobbed and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s just so unfair.”

Kevin shook his head. “Spencer is … he shouldn’t have said what he did. He’s a smart kid, but at times, he’s just … ugh… so annoying.”

It made the guy laugh. Good, at least he’s laughing. “Don’t blame him, he didn’t do anything.” Lucas shook his head. “He is an adorable, innocent kid and kids are supposed to be curious.”

“Innocent? Spencer?” Kevin laughed. “Oh boy! Aren’t you mistaken?”

“Why?”

“Let a few days pass, you’ll get to know yourself,” he said. “You’re gonna be here anyways.”

Lucas’ smile dropped and he looked away. “I’m sure it must be difficult for you to share a room with a complete stranger,” he said in a voice just above the whisper. “I’m really sorry for that.”

Kevin reached out and held Lucas’ hand that rested on the carpeted ground. Not only Lucas but Kevin himself was surprised by his own act.

Weird, again.

His heart sped up. Kevin was a ball of nervousness as he gazed down at their held hands. His mind told him to dismiss that touch instantly but an inner voice cheered on. He looked up and gazed at those blue eyes glistening with tears. Kevin didn’t know what was happening to him but it felt like it was meant to be.

It felt right. It felt good.

Lucas’ fingers moved a bit and Kevin quickly withdrew his hand. He blushed and looked at Lucas when he said softly, “You’re okay. So, I guess I’ll survive.”

*****

When Kevin returned later, the kitchen was all cleaned up. His mom was sitting at the table talking to someone over the phone and Spencer was nowhere around.

“What about Cindy? Have you called her up to see if she can come?” Gwen spoke into the phone and Kevin heard a muffled voice talking on the other end. “Look, I told you I’ve just had a family crisis…” She stopped to listen, then huffed. “Alright! Alright … I’ll come but I’ll be late.” She finished up the call reminding her boss that he had promised her an extra pay.

“So you’re working tonight then?” Kevin walked over to the table and took a seat next to hers.

“Yes, honey. I need to go clock in tonight because apparently I am the only chef they’ve got available.” She rolled her eyes. “Even though I said I wasn’t.”

“You know, mom, you’re way too nice for your own good.” He said slyly and she shrugged.

“How’s Lucas doing? Is he okay?”

“He’ll be fine.” He assured her. “So I guess then we aren’t gonna have the talk tonight, huh?” Kevin’s disappointment was apparent.

His mom slapped his hand. “You know me better than that, Kev.” She said, defensively. “I always keep my promises, which is why I told Alan I’ll be late. I wanted to tell you what you wanted to know.”

“Thanks, mom.” He smiled.

“Initially, I wasn’t sure if I should be telling you the entire thing, you know. But then I decided that you were old enough and mature enough to process it… understand it.” She considered a while before continuing. “And the reason that I think you deserve to know is because I want you to accept that Lucas is now part of our family. I want you to understand why I took him in and why I want you to welcome him with open arms as well.”

Kevin nodded. “I’m all ears.”

He watched as his mom took a moment to gather her thoughts before she started. “Lucas’ mom … she and I were best friends back in the days. We met when we were in middle school and people always said we were joint to the hip. Soul sisters we were.” Gwen laughed, reminiscing the old memories. “It was indeed like that because I felt Jade was the closest to me than anyone could ever get. I could tell her all my secrets and knew that they were safe with her. And she trusted me with hers. So, when I got the call … I was so shocked.” Kevin realized that she was very close to tears, so he leaned to her side and put an arm around to console her. “I still can’t believe she is gone.” She sniffed. “When she had Lucas and I had you … oh by the way, I didn’t tell you, did I? We had you in the same year, just a month apart.”

They both shared a laugh. “No, you didn’t tell me that!”

“Yeah, you were in June and he is a July born.” She shook her head, “It was so funny. But anyways, back then, Gwen asked me if she’d like me to be Lucas’ godmother and a legal guardian in case anything ever happened to her and Greg. I was only twenty-one and I had no idea what I was signing up for. I just did it because I remember thinking how awesome it was that my best friend thought she could trust me enough with caring for her first born after her. And it is actually awesome and still amazes me.

“She always said that I’d be a better mother than her any time. But what did she know?” Gwen rolled her eyes. “Now that she’s gone, I had to keep my promise to care for her kid after her.”

“Yes, you did tell me that but what I don’t understand that why you? Doesn’t Lucas have other members in his family?” Kevin asked.

“Well, his dad … he died … when Lucas was about Spencer’s age, I think.” She paused. “I remember how heartbroken Jade was by his death and I felt so awful that I could only call her up because you know, we had moved so far away from Wisconsin. But she understood. She was always understanding like that.”

“So there was no one else?”

Gwen shook her head. “Not really. His grandparents are too old to take care of him. His grandmother suffers from dementia, so Jade's dad thought it best to let him stay with me.” She took a deep breath. “Did Lucas tell you what happened to his mother?”

“Um…no. We haven’t talked that much really.”

She lowered her voice when she said, “Their house was on fire." There were tears in her eyes. "She was inside… with her boyfriend, who also died.”

Kevin placed his hand over his mouth. “Oh my god!”

He realized his mother was saying something, so he brought his attention back to her. “Why I also thought that it was a good idea to bring him here with me was because I thought he would recover from this sooner if he had someone closer to his age around him. Kevin, honey, I want him to feel comfortable here. I want Lucas to not think that he is all alone in this world. Let’s make him feel at home and feel loved. Take him as understandingly as you can and I am sure we will be able to get him back to normal in no time.” She took Kevin’s hand in hers and looked right into his eyes before asking, “Can you do that for me please?”

Kevin didn’t think she needed to even ask. Yes, he was still worried for her and about how she was going to manage the additional expenses, but his mom was obviously hell bent on her decision; and knowing her reasons, he was ready to accept that. So if she wanted him to be good to Lucas and take care of him, he wouldn’t make her life difficult than it already was by going against her word.

“Yes, mom. I’ll try my best.”