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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Don't Cross The Threshold. - 1. Chapter 1

Prompt 257: Encounter
It has been years since you have even thought about your first love. However they were on the news today and before you had a chance to find out why there is a knock on your front door. As you answer you find yourself face to face with them. What brought about this encounter?

Seasoned TV regular, Jeremy Cason, comes out on national television in his Good Morning America appearance. Age 27, Cason was quoted to 'have had enough of hiding his aspects of his personal life due to pressure from his manager.’ This comes in following a huge wave of celebrities…

You did it, Jeremy, I mused.

A smile tugged the corner of my lips upwards as I leaned back into the soft cushions that lined my living room couch. I watched the side-swept dark hair curl against Jeremy’s forehead, his pink lips moving quickly. His brilliant green eyes shone with unshed tears. The camera panned out to the live studio audience: handkerchiefs dabbed at watery tear ducts, as they stood up clumps at a time: in a rousing standing ovation, concluding the excerpt of the interview.

Always the performer, I chuckled.

The doorbell rang: a loud intrusive noise echoing through the house. The image on the television snapped into a white cross in the centre, the edges pulling out quickly into darkness as I pushed the button on the remote control. I shuffled over to the front door and pulled it wide open.

Brilliant green eyes met mine as I stood there, shock seizing me.

“Hey there,” he said, a shy smile spreading across his face as he averted his eyes.

“Jeremy?” I asked, incredulous.

“The one and only,” he said, a dazzling grin armed and ready.

“Don’t you save that just for the paparazzi?” I teased.

The grin pulled into a tentative smile, the one that I remembered best. His eyes fell back to his feet. I remembered this Jeremy.

A tense silence filled the space between us, as we each stood on different sides, connected only by this open open doorway in front of us.

I broached the silence jokingly, gesturing at his Porsche parked in my driveway, “You really know how to show off, don’t you?”

“Oh, that? It’s nothing,” he said, but the usual faux arrogance failed to make an appearance, “At least, nothing worth showing off.”

“So, congratulations,” I said, steering away from the beginnings of an awkward silence.

He lifted his eyes to meet mine: widened. I noticed his fingers fumbling and pinching the fabric of his branded jeans.

“On the renewal. I heard you got another season,” I continued.

His fingers stopped their repetitive motions as his shoulders visibly sunk.

“Oh that,” he said, traces of relief in his voice, “Yeah, thanks.”

I watched as his eyes darted nervously about my porch, settling on the wooden swing before bouncing off the white exterior, landing on the wooden bench before focusing on my own. His fists clenched visibly at his sides, as though the effort it took to maintain eye contact required physical force.

“Jer –" I asked.

“They figured they could milk the story line some more,” he blurted.

The pregnant pause sat heavily on our shoulders. The weight pulled at me insistently, a cold lump in my gut. I watched as determination and fear battle across Jeremy’s refined features. Something inside me broke.

I reached out my arms and curled them around his shoulders, pulling him into me, feeling his warmth through the layers of fabric: the firmness of his body against my own.

“I’m glad you’re doing well,” I said, as I held him, feeling the tension lining his muscles dissipate.

He dropped his chin onto my shoulder: the familiarity of his touch bringing forth the memory of his first successful casting.

***

Joy bubbled forth from his demeanour, as he leapt into my arms. He tightened his hold around my chest and squeezed, swinging me around like a child with their rag doll.

“Woah, ease up a little,” I teased.

“I got it… I got it… I got it!” he panted, exhausted from running all the way.

“Of course you did,” I said, pressing my lips to his cheek.

***

I pulled back from the embrace and watched his eyes flutter open, glistening with unshed tears. The freckle under his left eye, leaning against the bridge of his nose, drew my attention. I wondered if they airbrushed it out of his magazine features.

“Jeremy,” I said.

“Why are you here?” I finally asked.

“I… It’s… I just…,” he stuttered, eyes glued to the wooden floor.

“Jeremy,” I said.

“I came out,” he said.

“I saw,” I said, a smile crawling across my face, “I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I thought you would be.”

I pursed my lips at his statement, knowing the words that would come next.

“I’m sorry –" he said.

“No, don’t. It’s over now. You did it. I’m proud,” I interrupted, a dormant sadness rising inside me.

“But it isn’t,” he said, lifting his eyes slowly.

“It isn’t over for me,” he said, looking me in the eyes, flinging me into the past.

***

I looked over at him: shades covering up the brilliant eyes I often lost myself in, and a baseball cap flattening the thick hair I enjoyed raking my fingers through. The sunlight illuminated his bronze skin as we walked down the street.

I reached for his hand, seeking to twine our fingers together: to feel his touch.

A hand swatted mine away as I looked up to see a menacing scowl pulling his soft pink lips into an ugly spear of hurt.

“Not here!” he whispered.

***

“I forgive you,” I said quietly, “I know what it meant to you.”

“But I can’t forgive myself,” he whispered.

“Don’t –" I said.

“I just shouldn’t have…,” he trailed off as I sunk into a memory.

***

“So this is it?” I asked.

“This is the end?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking away.

“Don’t be,” I said, “I know that this is your career. It’s your whole world.”

“It’s what you want most, isn’t it?” I asked.

“It is,” he replied.

I watched from the doorway as he dissolved into a separate realm: one I could not enter.

***

“You were doing what was right for your career,” I said, “I understand.”

“No,” he replied, “I wasn’t. I was doing what everyone else thought was right for my career.”

“I never thought you were bad for me,” he said, “In any way.”

“Jer –" I said.

“No, let me continue, I owe it to you,” he replied.

“You don’t owe me anything,” I sighed.

“Maybe, but then, I owe it to myself,” he said.

I watched him drill his fingers into his palm, resisting the tears that were threatening to spill from his loaded eyelids.

“I shouldn’t have treated you that way. I shouldn’t have shied from the pressure. I shouldn’t have hidden you away like a dirty secret,” he said, “I shouldn’t have let you believe that I loved you any less. And I definitely shouldn’t have left.”

“Jeremy –" I said.

“I love you.”

The words settled in my mind, sadness weighing heavily inside me.

“But Jeremy,” I said, watching him through the doorway, “I loved you.”

Prompt 257: Encounter
It has been years since you have even thought about your first love. However they were on the news today and before you had a chance to find out why there is a knock on your front door. As you answer you find yourself face to face with them. What brought about this encounter?
Copyright © 2013 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
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  • Sad 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

i really enjoyed this response

the last line, the 'i loved you', i felt this was really powerful as an ending line. It raises the question as to whether the use of past tense 'loved' means that he loved him before but these feelings changed, or if he loved him before and he still loves him now. It really made me think and wonder, which is something pretty powerful for me because i can be prone to reading shorter entries on a purely surface level, rather than looking deeper.

I look forward to reading your future works, and i hope that you will at some point expand into longer stories with more chapters, because these are what i like best :P

  • Sad 1

As always, the pleasure in the details. The protagonist remembers Jason's tentative smile more than any other type of smile, which seems to suggest their relationship always tiptoed on a knife edge or that Jason was always walking between two worlds: his personal beliefs and those he thought the world wanted him to have. That's what the story's title means to me: It's like Jason crossed a certain boundary when he gave up his love for his career, a threshold anyone crosses when they decide that societal harmony comes before personal harmony. Once you cross that threshold, all of the dissonant melodies you left behind can't be re-arranged into a new rhythm, because you've left them behind to find their own new rhythm. Though not necessarily actors or stars, I've met people like this and they always seem to think you will remain stationary and unchanged for them to pick up whenever they please, like an old toy. But like an old toy, you can come back and play with it again perhaps, but the fun won't be the same it was when you were a child.

Nevertheless, I don't come away with the impression that the protagonist is bitter or that Jason is so self-absorbed as to be unlikable and there are many other good details to soak up. I enjoyed all the references to Jason's manipulative facial and body gestures and how the protagonist teased Jason in the same way I imagine he had to wait for Jason to stop teasing him and make a decision back when they were together. A little bit of cute revenge! My favorite two details were Jason's crumpled hair underneath the baseball cap in the flashback and the way his eyes moved and took in the bench on the porch. I liked the reference to crumpled baseball hat hair because it reminds me that what we often like best about the people we come to love are their unique little imperfections. As well, it seemed to me that Jason's eyes taking in a bench, which is usually used to sit together with significant others in the same house, was his first clue that the protagonist's life hadn't been as frozen in time as he thought. That, and it's a pleasure to read such specific details that flesh out what makes these characters differ from all the many thousands we've encounted before. Specifically clever was the protagonist mentioning the renewal of his TV show first. After you've read the ending, it comes across as a tiny hint that the protagonist is telling Jason he's going to have to continue in the world he chose when he crossed the threshold.

On that note, there were some areas that were a little disappointedly rote for such a short story, though I realize you didn't exactly write this over a space of five years in a peaceful vacation colony. The flashback about their break-up and the accompanying present day dialogue reads like something you'd see on a billion TV soap operas throughout time and space and I kind of wish, if it was necessary to have it be realistic dialogue we've heard a zillion times before, there were more idiosyncratic details to set it apart from the others. That and for a couple of descriptions -- like sinking into the cushions of the couch -- I feel like I've read the exact same words in an infinite number of other stories. These stand out because other descriptions -- particularly, the television turning off and Jason picking at his jeans -- are so vivid.

Overall though, this was cleary meant as a straightforward story and it is a snappy, cute little snapshot of what's it is like to be two human men in the 21st century caught up in the horde of millions.

  • Like 1

I hope this is going to be continued. I really like the characters you created. I think you used the flashbacks well. The one thing I'd like to know is whether Jeremy did it in such a callous way on purpose or b/c he thought he was too good since he had his career in Hollywood? I guess we've all been hurt at some point (well the majority of us..hooray for those who end up with their first loves) and you managed to pull that feeling out of me and make me feel it along with the character. The pain Is almost palpable. It was a great way to end it with that past tense. I look forward to more of their journey. How hard is it to make up for something you do that devastates someone at the time and may change them or their attitude toward love. When is it too late? Will he just be accepted back or will they have to fall in love again? What caused Jeremy to have this realization? I am wondering when this happened, since he doesn't seem flabbergasted that he is on his front porch as he was thinking about him. Did they grow up together...I know ...wait for the coming chapters :( lol great start!

  • Like 1
On 08/24/2013 02:18 AM, Never Surrender said:
i really enjoyed this response

the last line, the 'i loved you', i felt this was really powerful as an ending line. It raises the question as to whether the use of past tense 'loved' means that he loved him before but these feelings changed, or if he loved him before and he still loves him now. It really made me think and wonder, which is something pretty powerful for me because i can be prone to reading shorter entries on a purely surface level, rather than looking deeper.

I look forward to reading your future works, and i hope that you will at some point expand into longer stories with more chapters, because these are what i like best :P

Like I told you NS, I'm real honoured you left a review ;)

 

And thank you so much for the great review!!!! :D

  • Like 1
On 08/24/2013 06:44 AM, joann414 said:
Sweet,bittersweett, sad, happy? Not sure, but great writing. I hope you never sit down and write a 50 or 60 thousand word one shot story. I won't get anything done the day it's posted. Your writing is so enjoyable and entertaining. Great job~
hahaha if I ever sit down and write 50/60 thousand words in one shot, it'll probably take months...

 

Emotions are always so confusing, I mean how many times in our lives do we actually feel a single emotion purely? :D

 

Thank you for the review! :thankyou:

  • Like 1
On 08/24/2013 06:59 AM, Kitt said:
Very nice. It says a lot that you managed to leave us wondering where the characters go from here? Will they go their separate ways or start a new direction together.
Some characters just beg to be revisited. I think these are a couple of those. I wish I had more substance to keep at developing plots for lengthier stories. :unsure:

 

I'm glad you enjoyed it though and thank you for the review! :)

  • Like 1
On 08/24/2013 12:48 PM, thebrinkoftime said:
As always, the pleasure in the details. The protagonist remembers Jason's tentative smile more than any other type of smile, which seems to suggest their relationship always tiptoed on a knife edge or that Jason was always walking between two worlds: his personal beliefs and those he thought the world wanted him to have. That's what the story's title means to me: It's like Jason crossed a certain boundary when he gave up his love for his career, a threshold anyone crosses when they decide that societal harmony comes before personal harmony. Once you cross that threshold, all of the dissonant melodies you left behind can't be re-arranged into a new rhythm, because you've left them behind to find their own new rhythm. Though not necessarily actors or stars, I've met people like this and they always seem to think you will remain stationary and unchanged for them to pick up whenever they please, like an old toy. But like an old toy, you can come back and play with it again perhaps, but the fun won't be the same it was when you were a child.

Nevertheless, I don't come away with the impression that the protagonist is bitter or that Jason is so self-absorbed as to be unlikable and there are many other good details to soak up. I enjoyed all the references to Jason's manipulative facial and body gestures and how the protagonist teased Jason in the same way I imagine he had to wait for Jason to stop teasing him and make a decision back when they were together. A little bit of cute revenge! My favorite two details were Jason's crumpled hair underneath the baseball cap in the flashback and the way his eyes moved and took in the bench on the porch. I liked the reference to crumpled baseball hat hair because it reminds me that what we often like best about the people we come to love are their unique little imperfections. As well, it seemed to me that Jason's eyes taking in a bench, which is usually used to sit together with significant others in the same house, was his first clue that the protagonist's life hadn't been as frozen in time as he thought. That, and it's a pleasure to read such specific details that flesh out what makes these characters differ from all the many thousands we've encounted before. Specifically clever was the protagonist mentioning the renewal of his TV show first. After you've read the ending, it comes across as a tiny hint that the protagonist is telling Jason he's going to have to continue in the world he chose when he crossed the threshold.

On that note, there were some areas that were a little disappointedly rote for such a short story, though I realize you didn't exactly write this over a space of five years in a peaceful vacation colony. The flashback about their break-up and the accompanying present day dialogue reads like something you'd see on a billion TV soap operas throughout time and space and I kind of wish, if it was necessary to have it be realistic dialogue we've heard a zillion times before, there were more idiosyncratic details to set it apart from the others. That and for a couple of descriptions -- like sinking into the cushions of the couch -- I feel like I've read the exact same words in an infinite number of other stories. These stand out because other descriptions -- particularly, the television turning off and Jason picking at his jeans -- are so vivid.

Overall though, this was cleary meant as a straightforward story and it is a snappy, cute little snapshot of what's it is like to be two human men in the 21st century caught up in the horde of millions.

Again Brink, thanks so much for the detailed review :D

 

Firstly, I'm going to forgive you for making a mistake with Jeremy's name ;) HAHAHAHAH... I'm joking. It's alright. I'm not too good with names either.

 

Secondly, I'm glad you enjoyed so many of the details I plugged into the story. There is nothing more fulfilling to know that the words I wrote help bring the story to life for you. I'm glad that neither Jeremy nor the protagonist came off as off-putting. I definitely wanted them to be human. I didn't want them to become a caricature of their mistakes, you know. Besides, we all make mistakes, some just change everything. :(

 

Lastly, regarding the parts you weren't so fond of. I'm glad that there were parts that were so vivid that led you compare the less than stellar portions. Although I did write the story rather hastily, it's no excuse for boring writing! ;) I'll try my best to work out the mundane details in my next try! But I'm so glad you commented on the things that didn't work for you! :D They give me a direction to focus in.

 

Again, THANK YOU for such a detailed and brilliant review! :thankyou: I'm so grateful for it.

  • Like 1
On 08/24/2013 02:23 PM, Cannd said:
I hope this is going to be continued. I really like the characters you created. I think you used the flashbacks well. The one thing I'd like to know is whether Jeremy did it in such a callous way on purpose or b/c he thought he was too good since he had his career in Hollywood? I guess we've all been hurt at some point (well the majority of us..hooray for those who end up with their first loves) and you managed to pull that feeling out of me and make me feel it along with the character. The pain Is almost palpable. It was a great way to end it with that past tense. I look forward to more of their journey. How hard is it to make up for something you do that devastates someone at the time and may change them or their attitude toward love. When is it too late? Will he just be accepted back or will they have to fall in love again? What caused Jeremy to have this realization? I am wondering when this happened, since he doesn't seem flabbergasted that he is on his front porch as he was thinking about him. Did they grow up together...I know ...wait for the coming chapters :( lol great start!
I need to work out a more substantial storyline if I do continue this particular story so it might be a while for any progression....

 

As for Jeremy, I don't think it was due to his arrogance or him being a mean person. When I conceptualised his character. I thought of him more as an eager aspiring actor, pressured by the "cookie cutter" requirements of the industry. When his ambition required him to make sacrifices, his dedication drove him to do hurtful things. Sure, it doesn't excuse him from the consequences of his actions but it doesn't make him a bad person. Just human.

 

As much as I'm glad that my characters made you feel for them, I'm sorry that you've had to experience such pain first hand. :( But such is life.

 

As for the rest of the questions, they will be answered in subsequent chapters if and when I continue. But that's where the beauty of a short lies isn't it? In the infinite possibilities limited only by our imagination.

 

I am so glad for you review though! Thank you so much! :thankyou:

  • Like 1

Ohh, I really thought that you were going to give them a nice happy ending, very disney-like confession at the end. But life's not disney, right? Short story but enough was said to convey the emotions. You have an eye for showing and not not telling, with the right amount of small details. And I know I have already said this before but I love your endings. This one was no exception. It ended at the right place with a punch. Great one. :)

  • Like 1
On 08/25/2013 06:03 AM, Ieshwar said:
Ohh, I really thought that you were going to give them a nice happy ending, very disney-like confession at the end. But life's not disney, right? Short story but enough was said to convey the emotions. You have an eye for showing and not not telling, with the right amount of small details. And I know I have already said this before but I love your endings. This one was no exception. It ended at the right place with a punch. Great one. :)
oh my. i think all my readers do think that i'm a shrivelled up cynic on the inside right about now. i do believe in happiness, if anyone was wondering ;)

 

thank you so much for the great review.

 

i do try to end with a kick. :D

 

thank you thank you :thankyou:

  • Like 1
On 08/30/2013 12:57 PM, comicfan said:
You left it very clear with his final response, "But Jeremy I loved you." The simple fact that it is not I love but loved tells volumes here. Nicely handled all the way through. He was the dirty little secret, but he has grown beyond that and beyond Jeremy from the sounds of it. Congrats.
Thanks so much for the great review comic!!! :D and for featuring my story too!

 

I'm glad that the nuances of the story came across to you guys!

  • Like 1
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