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    totallyy
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Love Letters To Nobody - 4. Chapter 4

Steam rose from the mug of brown liquid, warming my face. Black hair swept across the forehead, icy blue eyes flicked up from the book propped up in a hand. Your lips quirked into a smile, but your eyes widened in surprise: a betrayal. A finger creased the corner of the page, an indent that could never be undone. The book put away, steam still rising from the mug in my hand, a moment passed.

You unfurled your legs and leaned forward, combing through your hair absentmindedly with your fingers. I settled in the worn armchair and set my mug on the table between us. I attempted a smile but it felt odd, uncomfortable, misplaced.

A chuckle.

In that moment, I was convinced that light danced on the waves of the arctic oceans as they did in your eyes. A force pulled my lips into a grin: I thought it might have been happiness.

We floated amongst the words that bounced between us. My finger ran circles around the moist rim of my mug, its contents gone cold. Words formed in the shape of your lips, the placement of your tongue against teeth, they took life in the form of the controlled vibrations in your throat. But your hands moved with feeling, in emotion. I watched the conversation build momentum in the tensing of your forearms, it picked up pace in the position of your wrists, and delivered its message in the flexing of your fingers.

Exhalation.

The air swelled.

I looked up from your now silent hands, limp on your lap. With pink tinted cheeks, eyes wide, a hand found a place in the tangle of your hair.

"I talk too much, don’t I?" an embarrassed remark.

A smile gripped me as I snorted,

"No… It’s just me. I’m not much of a talker."

A sigh. I chuckled, warmth rising from the depth of my stomach.

A moment, and your hands resumed its intricate dance again, weaving me stories I fell into, cold as the arctic oceans.

2013 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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You capture a moment neatly. You have a good eye and a patient, intricate, observant manner. Thanks for sharing.

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On 07/27/2013 05:13 AM, carringtonrj said:
You capture a moment neatly. You have a good eye and a patient, intricate, observant manner. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! I often wonder if the plotlessness is boring though. And I'm convinced that this style of writing would not translate well to a novel-length story. It would get in the way of the plot progression. But I do like the simplicity in moments. There are no assumptions, just a clean slate for the characters to play it out. Thanks for reading!
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Hmm, why would he compare the "woven stories" as cold? I thought it would be something warm, pleasurable.

 

But it was very well written, as the previous chapters. Don't worry about "plotlessness". It's obvious that you are writing about moments, not events. And it's very refreshing to read about a different style. It can be translated into a novel though it's very rare. I'm reading one right now. But it tends to be very "heavy" with the focus on the settings and emotions rather than the plot.

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On 07/29/2013 10:42 AM, Ieshwar said:
Hmm, why would he compare the "woven stories" as cold? I thought it would be something warm, pleasurable.

 

But it was very well written, as the previous chapters. Don't worry about "plotlessness". It's obvious that you are writing about moments, not events. And it's very refreshing to read about a different style. It can be translated into a novel though it's very rare. I'm reading one right now. But it tends to be very "heavy" with the focus on the settings and emotions rather than the plot.

Ahhh... I wanted to create the imagery of someone falling into icy water. As the initial shock wears off, you feel comfortable, there's no more shaking. It's quiet and you're not aware of anything anymore. You're just allowing the currents to push and pull you.

 

It might not have come off very well. But thank you for your review! I agree about the heaviness that comes with the lengthiness of such kind of writing :D

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