Truths and Lies - 15. Disneyland Part 1 (Mr. Tom's Wild Ride)

Finally, finally, finally!!! It was Sunday morning, and I rushed to get dressed and pack a few things for our one night stay. My mom had once again ironed my pajamas and I dutifully stuffed them in my overnight bag. While I hadn't ruled out wearing them to bed, I didn't want to be the only guy there in pj's either. At least by packing them, I'd make my mom happy.

I had carefully considered my wardrobe for the long and exciting day ahead, deciding that layers would be best since it would be cold in the morning and evening, but warm in the afternoon. So I wore a dark blue T-shirt, a colorful Hawaiian style silk shirt over that, and a blue and white Nautica windbreaker over that. I decided to wear my snug fitting Calvin Klein jeans in the hope that I could keep Jesse's eye from wandering too much--for some reason, there were always a lot of cute boys at Disneyland!

I was so super excited that my mom had to force me to sit down and eat my breakfast, and just as I finished my scrambled eggs and sausage, the old Volvo wagon pulled into the driveway . Jesse, dressed in perfect fitting faded Levi's, and a black corduroy jacket that strikingly set off his golden blond hair, was quiet, and I could tell that he was feeling very uneasy around his mom. I was pretty sure they hadn't spoken yet, but it was probably weighing on Jesse's mind. I mentally kicked myself in the head for about the hundredth time for my foolish and impulsive trip to Hode Ranch. It was totally my fault that Jesse was in this predicament now, and I so much wanted him to have the best time of his whole life at Disneyland. I hoped that, once the four of us boys were on our own at the park, he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. I was also hoping that somehow, by some miracle of circumstance, Jesse and I would get a chance to spend some time alone in our hotel suite. For her part, Mrs. Taylor looked comfortable in a pair of white slacks and a denim jacket. Not surprisingly, Miranda had on a green Mickey Mouse hoodie, jeans, and pink sneakers, along with her wraparound sunglasses.

Soon, the Kipner's minivan pulled up. Tom looked really cute in gray cargo pants, a gray Quicksilver hoodie, and some striking orange Nikes with glossy, dark blue stripes. His curly black hair was meticulously spiked with gel. Morgan was dressed in faded, baggy jeans, a light blue, YMCA warm-up jacket, and well-worn Airwalk sneakers. Both of them looked excited, but Tom seemed almost to have regressed to Miranda's age, the way he was grinning and joking and babbling on and on about what we were going to do for the next two days. I was also sure I saw him glance down at Jesse's black Vans, and I had to smile, knowing that Tom was dying to see my beautiful blond angel's feet. Well, I had certainly put my reputation on the line by declaring Jesse's feet the best I'd ever seen, and I hoped that Tom wouldn't be disappointed!

Morgan, Tom, and Jesse sat in the backseat of the Lexus while I rode shotgun. I would have liked to sit scrunched up next to my sweetie pie, but it made more sense for me to sit in front. Miranda and Mrs. Taylor followed in the Volvo. By eight o'clock we were on the road, and being a Sunday morning, there was hardly any traffic. We arrived at the Disneyland resort in less than an hour and stopped first in front of the impressive looking Grand Californian, where we'd be spending the night. It was made to look like a giant Craftsman lodge, with huge wooden beams and slanted green shingled roofs, surrounded by tall pine trees. Even though check in wasn't until 3:00 p.m., we could leave our luggage off now and they would take the bags up to our rooms later. That way we wouldn't have to worry about all our stuff while we were at the park. We turned the two cars over to the valet even though Mrs. Taylor said she didn't mind parking her car in the garage herself. But my mom insisted the vehicles would be safer in the valet parking for the two days we'd be here.

On the way to Downtown Disney and the tram that would take us to the parks, we passed through the enormous lobby of the hotel. We were all impressed by the huge wooden chandeliers with their colored glass lamps suspended from six stories up, the massive stone fireplace, yards and yards of stylish woven carpets over hardwood floors, and long beams of polished wood spanning the lofty ceiling. Stylistically, it reminded me of a humongous version of Tom's house! It was a really cool place and even though it still had a touch of that phony Disneyland vibe, it seemed like a first class establishment.

Of course, we boys wanted to go our own way immediately, and our mothers weren't opposed to it as long as we stayed in cellphone contact. Morgan and I both had ours with us. The problem was Miranda, who wanted to follow us around. Fortunately, when we were looking through the pile of brochures we had received when we had entered the resort, there was a Brother Bear show at the California Adventure Park, and even though she hadn't seen the movie yet, she had been deluged with the advertising for months and was dying to see the dancing moose and bears and whatever else the live performance had to offer. So we were off, two fourteen year old boys, one straight, one possibly bi, and two gay thirteen year olds--weeeeee!!!!!

We had gotten our first Fastpasses for the Indiana Jones ride at eleven, so we still had time to get to a couple of other things first. Since this was Jesse's first time, he wanted to see everything. So instead of breezing past the Main Street shops the way we usually did, we took our time strolling along. I poked Jesse as we passed the fruit cart with its outrageously priced fare. He had been skeptical when i had told him how expensive everything was here.

"I've gotta have one of these!" he exclaimed, pointing to one of the shiny red, three dollar apples. I couldn't believe he wanted to waste his money like that, but he quickly picked out the one he wanted. He took a big crunchy bite. "Mmmmm...much better than the two dollar apples!" he declared with a satisfied grin.

The park didn't seem as crowded as it was during the summer, and that meant we'd probably get on each of our favorite rides multiple times before the day was over. Our first destination was Tomorrowland. We were all big fans of the original Star Wars films even though we all agreed the newest ones bit the big one, (although I knew Jesse had a poster of Hayden Christensen in his room, and I bet he wouldn't have minded biting Anakin's 'big one'--and neither would I!). Even though it was just a motion control simulator, and hardly the cutting edge technology it was when it first opened, it still was an incredibly fun ride. I was amazed at how fast we got through the 'space port' and through the droid repair shop.

We waited our turn and then filed into the motion simulator. It was really clever the way the little droid pilot next to the screen helped the audience know what to feel and how to react. I thought how great it would be to have a little robot like that in my head, telling me how to deal with Jesse, Jessica, Tom, Gary, Morgan, and even my mom. He'd be able to sort all the complicated and confusing problems and feelings I was always dealing with, and frantically wave his little mechanical arms anytime I was about to say or do something really stupid.

As we meandered through the Star Port Gift Shop, Jesse seemed a little wobbly.

"Are you okay?" I asked, remembering that he had reported getting sick on his way up to Big Bear.

Jesse nodded. "That was amazing. This whole place is amazing!" he said cheerfully.

"So you're having a good time?" I asked.

He leaned in close so that I could feel his breath on my ear. "Well, it's not as much fun as sucking on your toes, but it's definitely a close second!"

Unfortunately, the Rocket Rods, one of the fastest rides at the park, were apparently out of commission permanently. Space Mountain--the best ride in this part of the park-- was getting some sort of major overhaul, so we did the Astro Orbiters, not one of the more exciting rides, but since everything was new to Jesse, and Tom was such a Disney freak, everyone had a great time. Then we headed over to Adventureland and the Indiana Jones ride, and afterwards, we all agreed that it was the coolest ride at the park. Again, Jesse looked a bit shaken up after the wild roller coaster ride through the Temple Of The Forbidden Eye, and I was starting to worry about him. Morgan and Tom were ready to go right back for more, but I suggested the Jungle Cruise as a brief respite from all the roller coaster stuff.

Our tour guide, probably an aspiring young actor like every other underpaid employee at Disneyland, was really funny, cracking jokes and making sarcastic comments about all the outdated animal models, and stereotyped native warriors. Jesse was pointing at everything and laughing at every dumb joke and I felt a little teary, seeing my precious angel so filled with joy.

After that, Morgan and Tom again wanted to go back to Indiana Jones, but I used my clout as the birthday boy to insist that we should go on as many different rides as we could because everything was new to Jesse. We got our next Fastpass for Splash Mountain, but that wasn't until two thirty. We caught the show at the Enchanted Tiki Room and I was surprised how taken up I was by it's silly talking mechanical birds and garishly painted wooden masks, and the hokey faux South Pacific decor. Part of it was remembering all the times I had come here with my parents. I knew the Tiki Room was one of my mom's favorites, and me and my dad would sit here making faces at each other, and pretend to like it just for her. Now I found it incredibly charming and nostalgic. I guess I'd have to get used to those sentimental kinds of feelings now that I was getting old!

After that, it was time for more action, so we went to Autopia and we each took a car. It was a hoot wobbling around that battered track in our noisy, shaking, noxious fume spewing vehicles and I was more than a little reminded of Gary's old Nissan. Tom was in the back and kept ramming into the rest of us even though you weren't supposed to, but he was nearly hysterical with laughter the whole time and Jesse thought it was a riot and started ramming me as well. That would've been a lot more fun if we weren't in cars!

After that, it was after one, so we decided on Redd Rocket's Pizza Port for lunch. The plan was to keep ourselves filled with junk food all day because we had a reservation at the ESPN Zone for eight o'clock tonight along with our moms and Miranda. That place had really great food and was like a whole mini-amusement park unto itself!

"So what do you think, Jesse?" Tom asked as we munched our big cheesy slices of pepperoni pizza.

"This place is great. I mean, it's weird because it's like one giant advertisement for everything Disney, and yet it's still fun and so...so like a different world. The only other big theme park I ever went to was Six Flags Great America, and that was just a bunch of roller coasters and crazy rides and Bugs Bunny people running around. But this place is just awesome--every tree, every bush, every restaurant, every souvenir shop, every ride, it all ties in together--very cool!"

"I told you he'd like it!" Tom declared triumphantly to no one in particular.

"What about you, Perry?" Morgan asked in a more serious tone. "Having a good birthday?"

"A great one. Thanks for that speech last night, Morgan. That was really classy and...and unexpected."

"I meant every word."

"It's hard to believe I've only known you guys for a little more than a year, and Jesse only for three months. You're all such a special part of my life; I can't imagine what it would be like without you guys!"

Tom looked pleased by that sentiment but Morgan looked a little uneasy and I could see that he was still carrying around some guilty feelings. Maybe we'd get a chance to talk, but then again, maybe it would be wrong to bring up serious stuff like that on a trip that was supposed to be totally dedicated to just having fun. After all, just as Jesse said, Disneyland was like it's own little world, and it was hard to believe that we were only eighty miles or so from Hode Ranch, or that Gus was in jail, or that Billy Zanterman, Mr. Al-Jihuad and Zhen Woo were holed up in some safe house somewhere planning their next nefarious enterprise.

Jesse was really anxious to check out the Pirates Of The Caribbean, so we did that next. There was one of the longest lines yet, but that was to be expected with the success of the movie last summer. It was definitely getting warm out, and I tied my windbreaker around my waist. While Tom kept Morgan distracted with a barrage of Disney trivia, Jesse discreetly pointed out two boys sitting on a bench across the wide walk way from the Pirate's Cove, sipping frozen lemonades. They were a little older than us, but both exceptionally good looking guys. One had medium length, dirty blond hair and a killer smile, and the other had longer, shaggy brown hair and big eyes and...

He nudged me playfully. "Think they're lovers too?" he whispered.

"They sure look good together," I remarked with a warm smile for my beautiful blond angel.

We were all able to get in a boat together and even though I had been on this ride a hundred times, it was wonderful seeing it through Jesse's eyes for the first time. I really appreciated the creativity of this underground fantasy world, ranging from the dark and dramatic scenario of the skeleton captain at the wheel of his ghost ship with the storm raging in the background, to the silly pirates trying to get the key to the jail cell from the mangy mutt. Jesse laughed when he saw scenes that had been recreated in the Johnny Depp film. We all sang the Pirate Song together: Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life For Me! and Jesse even put his arm around my shoulders in a companionable way as we rocked back and forth in our little boat, imitating the drunken mechanical pirates all around us. I'm sure it looked perfectly innocent to any one watching, even to Morgan and Tom, but to me, it was a wonderful feeling to be able to have even this simple physical contact with my precious boy angel. Somehow it made me feel like the most special and blessed person in the whole world.

Jesse declared Pirates to be his favorite ride so far, even though he agreed that Indiana Jones had been more viscerally thrilling. With the new movie out, the line to the Haunted Mansion, which had been totally refurbished for the holiday season, was even longer than the one for the Pirates and we decided to wait on that until later. There was a good chance the park would empty out sooner rather than later because tomorrow was a school or work day for most people. It was too early to go to Splash Mountain, so Tom insisted we head for Small World even though it was on the other side of the park. Now I'll admit that I always was a bit of a sentimental fool, but Small World, with it's sickeningly cute, perpetually smiling, dancing and spinning dolls all dressed in various colorful national costumes, and that repetitive little tune playing over and over ad nauseam, was just a bit over the top for me.

Still, Jesse seemed interested, and Tom's enthusiasm was somewhat intoxicating. I could tell Morgan wasn't thrilled and he scrunched up his face and rolled his eyes at Tom when our Hispanic friend wasn't looking. I just shrugged and smiled. It was all fun for me, and I didn't care what ride we went on as long as Jesse was by my side. Well, it turned out Jesse loved it, and Tom easily persuaded him to go again.

"Give me a break!" Morgan groaned. "No way I'm going through that thing again!"

"But it's so awesome, seeing all those little people dressed up in those cute little costumes, all synchronized to the same music..." Tom explained passionately.

"You'd have to be gay to enjoy that shit!" Morgan declared dismissively.

I saw the open shock on Tom's wide eyed face and we all stopped in our tracks. There was a long moment of awkward silence.

"Than I must be gay, cuz I liked it too," Jesse declared.

Morgan didn't know how to reply to that, so I suggested that Tom and Jesse go ahead for another ride around the world of laughter and tears, while Morgan and I waited outside. Fortunately, everyone seemed cool with that plan. Morgan and I found an empty bench and it felt good to take a load off and catch our breath for a few minutes.

"Thanks for bringing me along," Morgan said.

"I can't imagine you not coming," I told him affectionately.

"I was really thinking about backing out," Morgan said seriously.

"C'mon, don't be like that. Let's just forget about...about all that stuff," I pleaded.

Morgan shook his head. "I can't, Perry. I just can't. And you may want to, but you can't either."

We sat in silence for a few moments, and my mind felt momentarily fragmented. Here we were, sitting in the middle of the Happiest Place On Earth having the time of our lives, and we were talking about that bizarre day when Morgan had gotten a little tipsy and insisted I jack him off. I had satisfied him even though I had felt no real urge to do it. Still, seeing Morgan in all his naked glory was something I'd not soon forget. Even though he had a rather plain, longish face and close set eyes, his body was lean and athletic, and his package was the most physically impressive I had ever seen up close. Still, it had given me surprisingly little pleasure to take that magnificent piece of meat in my hand and pump my friend to an explosive orgasm that sent his own spunk shooting up to his eyebrows!

"I see that look on your face every night when I close my eyes," he confessed guiltily. "That shocked look on your face after..after I hit you," he said in a near whisper.

I was totally ready to blow off this whole conversation. This wasn't the day or the time for it, and yet, I was starting to realize that for Morgan, it was something that continued to haunt him on a daily basis, and he not only wanted to talk about it, but needed to.

"What can we do to get passed this?" I asked desperately.

"My anger management counselor says I need to face the person--the people I hurt, to tell them what I'm really feeling, to try to explain why I did what I did. She says that the kind of anger I have, the kind that occasionally triggers these violent outbursts, is the product of something that runs deep between me and the other person. Now Derek's my brother, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened there, or why I did...what I did."

"And we're friends..." I noted, trying to complete his thought in the simplest way possible.

"True...but that by itself shouldn't be enough to explain what happened," Morgan said somberly. "You know, I've never let anyone else do that to me," he admitted. "You know...touch me like that..."

I blushed, feeling very uncomfortable. The music and noises of the park seemed to fade into the distance as I heard that weird quiver entering Morgan's voice.

"So, I shouldn't have done that," I realized.

"I made you do it," Morgan insisted. "It was completely my idea. I was feeling so horny..."

"I wish none of that had happened," I groaned dismally.

"It did happen," Morgan repeated insistently for the umpteenth time.

I turned to my athletic friend and boldly looked him in the eye. "I know why you did it," I declared. "I know why you hit me."

"You...you do?" Morgan asked, his eyes widening fearfully.

"Sure. I mean, I..." I suddenly remembered to lower my voice even though there was a cacophonous symphony of music, mechanical noises, and chattering people of every age going on around us to mask our conversation. "I jacked you off, and then I didn't let you do me. It was embarrassing for you, and you got pissed. It makes perfect sense," I declared with a dismissive shrug.

Morgan just stared at me for a long time as if he was trying to process the information I had just given him. "I'll admit, it felt really good--what you did," he said quietly, a completely serious expression on his long face. "And I was kinda surprised that you didn't want me to...to return the favor."

"See?" I said confidently. "That's all there is to it. Nothing to be staying awake about at night. Nothing to have all these guilty feelings about. I'm telling you Morgan, just get over it!"

"If what you say is true," Morgan responded in a calm and non sarcastic voice, "then you should let me...do you some time, and all the guilty feelings will go away."

I had walked into this trap with both eyes wide open! "Uh...well...I guess..." I stammered in a noticeably less confident voice.

Morgan just nodded, thinking things through. "So you'd be willing...?" he asked.

I managed to lock gazes with him long enough to determine that he wasn't being the least bit facetious. He was basically accepting my invitation to let him jack me off! What an amazingly huge mouth I had, and what incredibly stupid things kept pouring out of it! Where was my little robot guide when I needed him?

"Be honest with me, Morgan. Does the idea of seeing my pathetic package, or yanking my tool really seem like something you'd want to do?" I challenged him brazenly, thinking for sure that his 'straight' genes would kick in and cause him to back down.

He looked at me apprehensively, and then...God! His eyes actually roamed down to the crotch of my jeans! I suddenly felt like I was back in that room again with Billy Zanterman!

"Yeah..." he admitted quietly. It seemed like he was on the verge of tears.

Gees, had my strategy ever backfired! After all of Morgan's concerns about his brother possibly being gay, and the crude remark he had just made to Tom, I had never expected that response--never!

"But I'm nowhere near as...as well developed as you are!"

"The only thing is..." Morgan went on in a thoughtful tone, apparently not recognizing the look of stunned disbelief on my face, "the only thing is, could we do it soon? It's like, really weighing on my mind, and I want my head to be clear for our last game."

Oh My God! We were sitting here at Disneyland, setting up an appointment for Morgan to pump my joystick! This was totally unreal!

"All right..." I agreed apprehensively. "What ever you want..." What else could I say?

"It's such a bummer that I won't be able to play this week--but I'm gonna make up for it after that!" he said with determination. Then he looked at me with those sad looking, dark green eyes and managed a weak smile. "You know, something good did come out of that day," he noted.

"What's that?" I asked, still flabbergasted by what I had gotten myself into.

"We had a chance to talk...really talk about things," Morgan noted with some satisfaction.

I wasn't so sure about that. It seemed to me that it was mostly about sex, and that was a subject that was getting kind of old for me. I didn't want to suck anyone's dick; I didn't want anyone getting into my pants; I didn't want anyone leering at my stupid body--anyone except Jesse of course. It was so clear to me now. I was totally his in anyway he wanted me and everyone else could just go and...well...entertain themselves!

"And I haven't had another outburst like I did that day, or at the game," he noted positively.

"Then maybe it won't happen again!" I added hopefully.

"I can never be sure," Morgan admitted hesitantly.

I sighed and fixed my eyes on a little boy walking by with a Goofy hat on, the big floppy ears trailing almost to his waist.

"You know, Derek seems to be a lot better," Morgan noted, thankfully changing the subject. "It seems like Tom had a lot to do with it. At first, Derek seemed to be pushing Tom away, but now they seem real close again. They spent all day together yesterday and..."

"Yeah, Jesse and me saw them at the mall! We hung out at the arcade for a bit."

"That's cool. I'm glad Derek's getting back to his old self again--brainless and happy!" he smiled sheepishly at his little dig. But I realized that was just the way siblings sometimes referred to each other, and I knew that Morgan cared for Derek just as my cousin Josh cared for Derrin.

"I know that Tom is really fond of your brother, and he hated to see Derek so down in the dumps."

"I'd still like to know what that was all about. The pictures of Jesse, the big scene at school..."

"I think he'll tell you when he's ready. Just remember to--you know--support him and stuff when that happens."

Morgan looked at me, probably trying to figure out how much I really knew.

"Speaking of Tom, that wasn't a very nice thing you said before," I noted, before Morgan could ask anymore questions.

"You mean about Small World being gay?"

I nodded.

Morgan shrugged. "I didn't mean anything by that. I just think that stuff's for sissies and old ladies."

"Still, you knew it was one of his favorites. It looked like you really hurt him when you said that."

Morgan nodded silently. He let out a long sigh. "Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't even be saying things like that. Shit, for all I know, my own brother might be...be like that."

"You haven't talked to him about it?"

"Nope. I honestly have no idea how to bring up something like that in conversation. I mean he's my kid brother, for chrissakes! It's like, 'Hey you dickwad, stop hogging the remote and by the way, are you a fag?'"

I flinched when he used that word. I had never liked the term and now it had even more resonance for me, because I had actually called someone that to their face, something I had never imagined I would have done. Even though Jesse had said that Billy deserved it, and even though I had a bad feeling that computer hacker wanted a lot more than to see me naked, I couldn't help but regret saying those things to him.

"I hope you won't say that!" I said disapprovingly.

"Of course not. That's why it's hard!"

I just nodded in agreement. Tom had wanted desperately to share his secret love of boys with me, but even then, he had almost not been able to do it. And now I knew that Derek was, at the very least, confused about his own sexuality, something I could certainly sympathize with. Who could blame him? Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that by the time of my fourteenth birthday, I would be deeply in love and sexually addicted--to another boy!

"Do you think Derek told Tom what was going on?" Morgan asked. "I mean, do you think there was anything to this business...that...you know...that Derek might have some sort of thing for Jesse?"

Here was a place where I could finally draw the line. "You should probably ask Tom or Derek about that," I said, slipping myself gracefully off the hook.

And right on cue, Tom and Jesse walked up, both looking like they were having a great time. The looks on their faces helped me to quickly shrug off the somber mood of my conversation with Morgan.

"I want to take Jesse to Fantasyland!" Tom announced enthusiastically (I bet he did!). I could see Morgan cringe but he didn't say anything.

I glanced at my watch--my new old watch! "Actually, we should get over to Splash Mountain pretty soon," I noted.

Everyone agreed, and even though the line wasn't very long, we probably saved about fifteen minutes by using our Fastpasses. I had to admit that I was kind of bored with the cute little mechanical woodland creatures part of the ride, anticipating the thrill that was to come, but Tom, who had dared to sit at the very front of our fake log canoe, was busy pointing out all the characters to Jesse.

"That's Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox," he said excitedly, and Jesse was taking it all in with wide eyed enthusiasm as the catchy strains of Zippity Doo Dah filled the air. I was wondered if maybe I was getting a little glimpse of what Jesse must have been like when he was younger, perhaps not as hyper as Miranda, but with that same zest for life, that same, blue eyed excitement for the wonderful things the world had to offer. But I also knew that this was a side that Jesse rarely showed, and that too many bad things had happened for him to ever be truly innocent and naive again. Still, I was so glad that, somehow I was able to make him happy--at least for a day. And now that I knew how much he liked Disneyland, I'd get him an annual pass and we'd come more often, just the two of us, whenever we could get one of our mom's to give us a ride. Heck, we could even take a bus if we wanted to!

Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. We saw the bright sunshine pouring in through the 'cave' entrance, and heard the furious rushing of the water cascading through it. I watched the expression on Jesse's face, full of anticipation and maybe just a little fear. For an instant, our log boat hung over the ledge, the water pouring out beneath us as we seemed to be heading straight into the sky. Suddenly, it was like the Earth itself had been pulled out from under us and we were rushing down the plume with water spraying on both sides. I knew from past experience, that the person in front would be the one to get soaked while everyone else would just get their arms and face a little wet. Right before we got to the bottom, I came to the shocking realization that Jesse was holding my hand! But what the Hell? I squeezed it tight and joined everyone else in a scream of terror and delight as we crashed into the waiting river. As soon as we hit the water with a thunderous crash, Jesse let go of my hand, and I wondered for a moment if he had even realized what he was doing. But I soon got my answer as he turned to me and gave me a playful little wink.

We all staggered out and had to laugh at Tom, who had really gotten soaked from the waist up. His carefully spiked hair was leaning limply to the sides and his Quicksilver hoodie had turned several shades darker. But he cheerfully pulled the jacket off and used it to wipe the water droplets off his face. The rest of us used our sleeves to wipe the spray from our own faces.

"That was totally what the doctor ordered!" Morgan declared, and it warmed my heart to see him so genuinely happy. "Anyone up for one more plunge?" he asked.

I reminded him that we had agreed to go to Fantasyland, and he reluctantly agreed. We had to walk back past the Haunted House, which still had a long line, and around the river with it's tall sailing ship and Mississippi riverboat, to get to Fantasyland through it's side entrance. Tom wanted to go to Peter Pan, but Morgan insisted on the Matterhorn.

"Another roller coaster?" Jesse asked somewhat unenthusiastically.

Remembering how he had looked after Star Tours, I was starting to get the idea that Jesse may not have the same need for speed as your average teenager.

"What about Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?" I suggested.

Everyone agreed on that. It wasn't a roller coaster, but it did move along in a fun, fast paced way. Since there was only room for two people in each of the miniature jalopies, I got in a car with Tom, and Jesse and Morgan got in another. They went in first, but soon it was our turn to start flying through the colorful neon paintings and character reproductions of the Wind In The Willows story. We were just romping through the English countryside, having just escaped from prison, when the ride came to a grinding halt. This wasn't the first time I'd been stuck on one of these rides like this. Some were worse than others, but it had happened at some point on nearly every attraction. Usually, it would be up and running again in a few minutes. On rare occasions they announced that the ride would be out of commission for an unknown amount of time and you'd have to make your way back to the entrance on foot. This time, the announcement came that they should be starting up again in about five minutes.

"Jesse really seems to be having a good time!" Tom noted.

"I think your enthusiasm is contagious!" I noted.

"I love it here more and more every time I come. For my birthday, I'm asking for an annual pass."

"Yeah? I'm thinking about getting one too!" What a great place to hold hands with your boyfriend!

"I really wanted to tell you about yesterday," Tom declared abruptly.

"Here?" I asked, "in the middle of Mr. Toad?"

Tom shrugged. "Sure, why not? We're the only ones in here!"

It was true that we were the only ones in this particular section of the ride, which was divided up into a series of darkened rooms decorated with paintings and props representing Mr. Toad's various adventures. Presumably, Jesse and Morgan were stuck in the room after this one.

"But what if they have like...cameras or something?" I asked nervously, thinking about that room at Hode Ranch.

"So what? They don't know who we are or who we're talking about," he noted dismissively.

"Well...okay then..." I relented.

"So anyway," Tom began excitedly, obviously bursting to tell me the tale, "we went straight to my house after seeing you guys at the mall. Everyone was home, but we just went up to my room and locked the door. I knew that nobody would bother us till suppertime. So the plan was that we were going to jack off together, right?"

"I...I guess..."

"So at first, we were just sitting on the bed kinda nervous and stuff, ya know? I finally asked Derek if he wanted to get naked, and I think he wanted to but he was real nervous!"

"I don't blame him!" I said sympathetically, thinking how much I hated to have people staring at my stupid body.

"So we just started slow, taking off our shoes and socks, and then our shirts. Then I stood up first and took off my pants, and of course Derek saw that I had a huge boner in my briefs!"

I couldn't help but blush at Tom's graphic details. "Won't Derek be pissed that you told me all this?"

"He doesn't have to know," Tom stated unconcernedly. "But I don't think we did anything to be ashamed of..."

"Okay..."

"So when Derek saw my woody, I think that made him feel a little more comfortable, ya know? So he got up and took his pants off; he was wearing briefs too and guess what? He was bonin' too!"

I was trying to not picture any of this in my mind. I didn't want to get hard from Tom's description. What would he think? I tried to focus on the cardboard cutouts and simple but clever paintings that helped create the illusion that we were in the English countryside as imagined by Disney artists nearly fifty years ago.

"Derek was like really excited now!" Tom said. "He was like, 'So are we really gonna do this?' And I was like, 'Sure, if you want to!' And he was like, 'Okay, let's do it at the same time!' And then we counted three...two...one...and pulled our undies down!" His voice was strangely muffled in the big empty room.

"Er...Tom..." I said uncomfortably. "I don't know if I should be hearing this..."

"But I want to share this with you," he said pleadingly. "You're so important to me and you're the only one I can talk to about this kind of stuff!" He reached over and put his hand on top of mine. I didn't pull away.

"Well, of course we just stood there for awhile staring at each other's plumbing. It was pretty weird. He didn't look quite how I expected, and I probably didn't look like he expected either. He's so freakin' white there--and still kinda small you know, and barely any hair!"

"Gees, Tom...!" I had an unfortunate flashback to my brief glimpse of Morgan's narrow and shockingly pale ass.

But pretty soon, we were like wagging our dicks at each other, and the next thing you know, we were having a sword fight! It was awesome!"

I remembered my swordfight with Jesse on the floor of his bedroom after the first night we spent together. I couldn't help but smile.

Tom saw this and took it as an encouraging sign for him to go on. "Pretty soon, we were chasing each other around the studio like little kids--both of us bare ass naked! I'd chase Derek and he'd suddenly turn around and yell 'En garde!' and we'd have a little battle and then we'd chase each other around again. And you know how I used to like to come up behind people and sorta lift them up and squeeze them?"

Squeezing Tom, I remembered him well. "Yeah..."

"Well, I did that to Derek. I came up behind him and grabbed him around the waist and pushed him up with my hips. God, that felt so good, having my hardon pressed against his tight little ass!"

"Tom...!" I blurted out.

"W...what?" he asked, as if coming out of a trance.

"This is too much. I mean, I'm glad you guys had a good time, but you really don't have to tell me all this...stuff!"

I could see that Tom felt bad--not really embarrassed--but more like a little kid who had inadvertently upset his parents.

"I mean, I get it. You guys had a really fun time together..."

"Yeah, we did, but there's just a little more, okay?"

I nodded and he squeezed my hand.

"So I put him down and then he did the same to me, lifting me right off my feet! He's really strong for a little guy! Oh man, it was great feeling his stiffy poking into my butt like that! Then we were like totally wasted and we just stood there and I thought Derek looked so cool, standing there naked where the light from one of the windows was coming in..."

"Weren't you worried that someone would see?"

"There's curtains on all the windows. I don't think anyone could see," he noted without too much concern.

Maybe I was the only one who was so uptight about his body. I mean, Jesse had been the one to first suggest that we get naked together, and Jessica wanted to do that too. I thought about the times with Tom and Morgan that I had gotten down to my boxers, and then not been able to go any further. I was too embarrassed. People weren't supposed to see each other naked! But I loved seeing Jesse naked, and Gary and Billy wanted to see me naked but I didn't want to see them naked and maybe I wanted to see Tom naked because he was kind of cute and Jessica had boobs and what about Reggie Colbert? Gees, this was really confusing!

"So I went right up to him and grabbed his dick!" Tom giggled mischievously. "And Derek didn't freak or anything. He just stood there and let me play with it. I got him really worked up too, and then he shot a little bit of jizz onto my hand!"

"That's gross!"

"I guess it is in a way, but I liked it and I loved the look on Derek's face when he was just about ready to blow! It was so intense and...and kinda funny!" Then he looked at me and his face seemed to sadden a little. "God, Perry. I can't believe I was so close to doing that to you...and I fucked it up!" he noted bitterly.

"I don't know about that. You seemed to be enjoying yourself there for a few minutes!" I teased, reminding him of the fact that he had creamed his pants.

Tom smiled hesitantly at my stupid joke but I could tell he was really serious. Well, if he was looking for an appointment, I'd have to tell him that I was all booked up--between Morgan, Jessica, and Jesse, it seemed like I was gonna be in for a real work out.

"It's better this way," I noted. "It sounds like you and Derek had a great time!"

"Yeah, we did. He tried jacking me off, but he wasn't very good at it," he informed me. "He was twisting it too much and it was starting to hurt. So I just went behind him again and ground my dick right into his ass and blew my load!"

"You mean...you went inside him?" I asked incredulously.

Finally, Tom actually managed to blush. "No...not like that. I just sort of pushed up against him. I didn't do...that..."

"Oh..." I said, somewhat relieved. I didn't know why the thought of Tom fucking Derek shocked me so much, but somehow it did.

"But there was one weird part though..." Tom went on.

"Just one?" I asked facetiously.

But Tom kind of scowled at me and I realized he was again being completely serious.

"Sorry," I said, patting his hand.

Tom just nodded. "After I blew my load, I turned him around and tried to...you know...kiss him?"

"And...?"

"He got kinda shocked or something and backed away like he was scared. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that kissing and stuff was...was gay..." He said the last word so softly it almost sounded like a sigh.

"What about all the other stuff?" I asked.

Tom shrugged. "I guess to him, we were just two guys playing around with our...our equipment, but when I tried to show him a little actual affection, I don't know. He just freaked out I guess."

"Well, maybe that was just too much stuff for him, too quickly," I offered. I remembered Morgan telling me what a homophobe his dad was. It must be incredibly difficult and confusing for Derek to have the feelings he did, for boys, for Tom, for Jesse...

Tom nodded silently. I could see that he was more than a little disappointed at Derek's reaction. Just then, there was another announcement telling us it would be just five more minutes before the ride started up again and thank you for your patience and cooperation. Yeah, right! My Hispanic friend looked at me and some of the excitement had left his big brown eyes.

"You can't expect everything to just work out in one day," I told him encouragingly.

"I know...but...just the fact that he said that word..."

"Yeah, I think Derek's a little confused about all that stuff," I acknowledged.

"That's strange," Tom said thoughtfully. "I mean, I know I like boys and I don't like girls. You know you like girls and don't like boys. It's hard to imagine someone being all...you know...like all mixed up about that stuff."

"Oh...It doesn't seem that weird to me. I mean, we're all really young yet, and Derek is the youngest..."

"But I read that most kids have already lost their virginity by the time they're fifteen!"

I immediately thought of Jessica and her insidious 'plan.' When I wasn't with her it seemed so clear. I loved Jesse plain and simple, but when I was with that forceful young lady, it was like she was able to hypnotize me or something. I had actually enjoyed the time we had spent together yesterday morning. I had enjoyed kissing her and I had enjoyed her hands rubbing my butt and stuff. I had felt more than a twinge of excitement staring at her rising and falling breasts...Granted, she was a little pushy and could get kind of sarcastic sometimes, but she was so focused, so organized. And so thoughtful, I thought, lightly fingering the turquoise cross draped around my neck.

"Is that important to you?" I asked.

Tom shrugged. "I don't know...maybe...It's just that, I'm a passionate kind of guy. If Derek isn't into that..."

"Hey, you have to give it time!" I reminded him. "Just take it slow. Play your...your games and stuff. Don't push him. He needs to get to know you in this new way first. When he does, I think he'll want to do that stuff too."

Tom looked at me for a long time, and I could hear all the noises of Disneyland off in the distance somewhere, but for all intents and purposes, we were alone and isolated here.

"Perry, I love you so much!" Tom said and reached over and wrapped me in a tight embrace. He began smothering my face with big wet kisses: my cheeks, my nose, my ears, my mouth...

It reminded me a lot of getting licked by an over zealous dog! I finally had to push him away because it didn't seem like he was quite in control of himself. He gave me a fearful look, worried that he had gone too far.

"Hey, take it easy," I said with an awkward smile, trying not to let on that I was moderately freaked out. "It's Disneyland, dude!" I forced an ingenuous laugh.

"Perry, I just...love you," he repeated breathlessly. "I mean, I so wish you were like me, but in a way, it's okay like this too. It's like, no one can get hurt, ya know? You're straight and I'm gay and we both know what we are. There's no what if's or maybe's or could be's..."

He laid his head on my shoulder and I held his hand. He let out a dry laugh. "Can you imagine me telling all these things to Morgan or Jesse?" he asked with a lopsided smile.

"You know, Morgan felt really bad about what he said before," I told him.

"Oh...that..." Tom said, and I could hear some of the pain in his voice. "I thought for a few seconds there, that he might actually know something..."

"It was just a--what do you call it--like a turn of phrase or something. He just thinks Small World is kinda...girly..."

"And you...?" Tom asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I think it's kinda girly too!" I admitted with a guilty smile.

Tom playfully punched me in the shoulder. "You straight people are no fun!" he pouted. Then he leaned over and kissed my cheek. "But you sure taste good!"

We were both laughing when suddenly the whole world seemed to erupt around us. The loud groan of grinding metal soon turned into the familiar glissando of machinery starting up. An announcement reminded everyone to keep their hands and feet in the car at all times, and with a violent jerk, we were once again off to the races!

After that, Morgan insisted that we head for the Matterhorn. Tom was telling us about which rides broke the most and how they fixed them and what made them break in the first place...I gave Jesse a little nod and we fell back behind Tom and Morgan and hopefully out of earshot.

Jesse was the first one to speak. "What happened to you?" he asked, a slight smirk on his face.

"What do you mean...?"

"I mean, what happened in there, when we were stuck? Did Tom try to put some moves on you?" The way he said it made it clear that he wasn't bothered, just curious.

"Well, he did get a little emotional in there,"I admitted. "He was telling me about what he and Derek did yesterday after the mall."

"Cool...Was there lots of nudity involved?" he asked facetiously.

"Yeah, actually there was...and..."

"And what?"

"Sword fighting!"

Jesse's eyes lit up and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. "Cool! You know, I think we need to hone our fencing skills too one of these days!"

"One of these days..." I sighed wistfully.

Jesse just beamed at me and it was obvious that he was having a good time.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

"Sure, I'm sure! This place is great. Thanks so much for bringing me!"

The sparkle in his eyes and the brightness of his flawless smile told me he was being totally sincere. Still...

"You looked a little shaky after some of the other fast rides," I noted. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked, gesturing to the big, fake snow covered mountain looming ahead of us and people shooting in and out of the 'caves' in their bobsled cars.

Jesse nodded. "I want to go on everything," he assured me. And then his smile dimmed a little. "I'll admit, I do feel a little...pukey after some of the faster rides, but it's no big deal."

I felt a little ache in my chest knowing that Jesse's body wasn't cooperating with his heart. I was fortunately one of those people who could ride and spin and flip all day long and then unhesitatingly walk over to the food stand and wolf down a hot dog with everything. "I'm sorry..." I said, feeling bad for him.

"Don't sweat it," he said dismissively as we got in line behind Tom and Morgan. "If it gets to be too much, I'll let you know, 'kay?"

I nodded, trying to send my love to him through my eyes. Instead of smiling back, he ran his tongue slowly over his upper lip and I felt my dick twitch!