Truths and Lies - 2. Chapter 2

Part V Truths and Lies

Chapter 2 Magic Time

It was with a great sense of relief early Tuesday morning when I saw Jesse waiting for me in the parking lot, next to the somber grey-white statue of St. Boniface himself. My sweet angel looked absolutely beautiful, his shiny, golden blond hair contrasting nicely with his light blue polo shirt, black Dockers, and black Vans. I knew I was smiling like a crazy person but I just couldn't help it and vaguely hoped that no one would notice.

"You're feeling better?" I asked excitedly, my heart pounding furiously in my chest.

"Pretty much," he answered with a bashful smile. He glanced around and then whispered, "Cool it, Perry, please! You look like you've just seen the Second Coming!"

"I don't think that could beat the sight of you in your blue shirt and skater sneaks!" I answered somewhat blasphemously.

"You know I feel the same way about you," he offered carefully.

"I don't know anymore! It's been so long since we were together--I mean, really together!"

Jesse nodded. "I sometimes think maybe we jumped into things a little too quickly."

"What're you talking about?" I asked with astonishment.

Jesse shrugged. "If we had taken things a little slower, maybe we wouldn't both be having such a hard time being apart."

A shiver went through my body as I realized that Jesse had the same hunger pains for me as I did for him. Was that not the coolest thing in the whole world?

"It's my fault. I was the one who pushed you to do all those crazy things that first time you came over," he admitted apologetically.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "Are you kidding? You didn't push me to do anything! I loved it, every minute of it. I go over it and over it, and everything about it was just incredible! And then that night before the rummage sale--it's like there was some magic in the air or...or something..." I sputtered on the verge of incoherence.

"It is like magic," Jesse agreed as we started walking toward our lockers. "It's like a dream..."

"But it's not a dream!" I declared happily. "It's real life and I..." I clamped my mouth shut as we passed several clusters of kids. Thankfully, they were all from the elementary school and hadn't seen me make a complete and utter fool of myself at lunch yesterday since the younger kids had lunch earlier than us.

As we got closer to our lockers, I noticed stuff sticking out of them. I realized they were folded pieces of paper. Jesse had a couple, one pink, one standard ruled, but I had...gees, maybe nine or ten in all shapes and colors.

"Wow, you're popularity level really went up!" Jesse said admiringly. He opened his locker and carefully added the notes to his 'special' folder to read later.

I looked at the folded papers with more than a little trepidation. I couldn't even open my locker without all the notes spilling out. I pulled one at random that was actually a piece of real stationary with purple lilacs around the border. The handwriting was artistic and full of big graceful loops, but the dots over the 'i's' were open circles instead of the usual hearts, and that somehow seemed rather tasteful to me.

OMG!!! Was that the kewlest thing ever! I loved it when you took your shirt off, Perry. You're so majorly H-O-T! I just couldn't stop thinking about you all night. I kept hugging my pillow pretending it was you...with your shirt off of course!!! You sizzle!

M

"You're blushing!" Jesse pointed out needlessly.

I guessed it was another note from the same M that had declared Jesse and me to be the two hottest looking boys at school. Then again, the handwriting looked slightly different. Whoever she was, I felt bad for keeping her up all night! I randomly pulled out another note. This one was written on a plain piece of eight and a half by eleven white paper. The handwriting was very small, neat, and meticulous, but still distinctly feminine.

Perry,

I don't think I could ever tell you this to your face, but you are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. What you see in that stuck up bitch Jessica, I'll never understand. Then again, there's not really any girl in our class who's truly worthy of a special person like yourself. I was ashamed of the way the class teased you after lunch yesterday. You should also know that I was one of the people trying to make you feel bad. I know that doesn't narrow it down very much. I also know that I will continue to mock you and hurt you every chance I get. That's a horrible thing to say, and I often hate myself for it, but you are strong--stronger than you think even--and you will do just fine despite my little cruelties. Why do I do it? That's something I ask myself time and time again. Maybe it's because you pull so fiercely at my heart strings that it sometimes causes me physical pain, and yet I know that I can never have you. I honestly don't know if I love you or hate you, but it is of little consequence. You have the prettiest, most popular girl in school throwing herself at you, and a dedicated group of friends who will always be there for you. God knows, Morgan Kipner is a total blockheaded jock, but what he did yesterday was a true testament to the kind of loyalty you instill in those around you.

Your loving/hateful admirer/detractor

That was the weirdest thing I ever read. I couldn't imagine who had written it. When I thought of mean and nasty girls in our class, I immediately thought of Deanna Kennedy. But that didn't seem to make sense. Whoever had written this was very eloquent to say the least, and Deanna had barely passed the seventh grade. Could it be that quiet Armenian girl, Regina Harpetian? She was smart, but very shy. And there was Martha Delgado; I had never even said more than a passing 'hello' to her. She seemed so timid, it was hard to imagine her writing something like this. I honestly didn't know what to make of it, except that it all seemed very sincere, and that was disturbing!

"Something wrong?" Jesse asked, probably noting my puzzled and worried look.

"How am I going to face everybody today?" I asked, as I collected up all the notes and stuffed them in the top cubby of my locker.

"Did someone threaten you?" he asked, gesturing vaguely to the pile of notes.

"No...Not really..." I answered uncertainly.

"Well...whatever...but I know kids just like to goof around and some of them have pretty bizarre senses of humor. I don't think anyone really meant to hurt you yesterday--you're too sweet for that," Jesse assured me. "Besides, they know I'd kick their asses if I found out about it!"

I looked at him, expecting to see a playful smile, but was surprised instead to be looking at a very serious young man.

We ran into Jeremiah Oatner on the way to homeroom. He had on one of those puffy, insulated winter coats that always seemed so out of place in southern California--even in December.

"Welcome back, Jesse," he said with a cherubic smile. "I'm glad to see the class's prayers were answered, and your illness didn't prove to be overly debilitating!"

"Good to be back," Jesse answered bashfully. Jeremiah was being an awfully good sport, considering that Jesse had just shown up, two weeks into the new year, and had already usurped from him the title of Top Academic Honors for the first quarter.

"And Perry, I just want to say thank you!" he declared, extending his hand for me to shake.

"You're welcome..." I replied unsuredly, giving his proffered hand a few half hearted pumps. "For...what...?"

"For demonstrating to the entire upper level of the school that chivalry is indeed alive and well in Santa Corina!"

"Huh?"

"We all observed how you so gallantly offered your garment to Miss Bainbridge after her own was soiled in that unfortunate mishap. That was a truly inspired act of selflessness and gentility if I ever saw one!" he proclaimed effusively.

"Oh, that..." I said, turning crimson with embarrassment.

"So the class prayed for me?" Jesse asked as we walked into class and headed for our seats in the back.

"Well...yeah..I guess I sorta mentioned something about it and..."

"Thanks," he replied earnestly, "I think it really helped."

As I sat there in my seat in the back of homeroom, I thought for sure everyone would be staring at me like I was some kind of freak of nature, but Jesse was for the most part right. I kept getting a lot of weird looks, especially from the girls. Of course, I tried to figure out who had sent me that extremely perplexing note. I'd have to come up with some excuse to look around the next time we had a writing assignment and see if I could match up the handwriting. I could see Jessica getting defensive with some of the other girls sometimes, and I think she even 'banished' a few people from her court (at least temporarily). The guys seemed to have forgotten all about it. Even Artim and Manny were relatively well behaved and friendly, and gave me their usual gangsta signs and juvenile smirks.

Melissa Doering came up to me as we were moving to our next class. Her well endowed bosom was barely an inch from my right arm. "That was so sweet of you to offer your shirt to Jessica like that," she said with a warm smile.

"I guess I wasn't thinking too clearly," I admitted, flashing on that memorable moment at Katy's party, when we were playing Twister and I had a perfect view down the front of Melissa's shirt. I had clearly seen the tops of her breasts and had completely lost it when she jiggled them for my benefit.

"You were being a perfect gentleman," she pointed out. Suddenly, she was leaning in towards my ear. "Did you get my little note?"

The blood drained from my face as I realized the stationary with the lilacs...the initial 'M'...It had been Melissa! Why would she be thinking about me? She was hangin' with the captain of the football team for crying out loud! And right on cue, Kyle caught up to us.

"Whatsup, guys?" he asked casually.

I was suddenly taken by an unexpected coughing fit, which didn't end until we got to our next class.

I tried my best not to make eye contact with anyone for the rest of the morning. Jesse sneezed a couple of times and that was pretty cute. I even thought it might be kind of kinky to catch Jesse's cold--I'd have his germs inside me! I wondered lustfully if we could pull off a bathroom rendezvous this afternoon, and then realized I shouldn't force myself on him when he still wasn't feeling one hundred percent.

I was glad to have a few minutes alone with him as we headed for our lockers to dump off our Math and English books and get our bag lunches.

"Hey, I'm going to get a hair cut tomorrow," I mentioned. "It's a pretty cool place my mom goes to and..."

"What?!" Jesse gasped.

"I was...er...just going to ask if you wanted...to...come," I said hesitantly, not sure what to make of his stunned reaction.

Instead of answering my question, Jesse posed one of his own (my favorite question, come to think of it). "Can I come over after school?" he asked.

"Sure, of course!" I said, hardly able to contain the sudden rush of adrenaline that started my heart pounding furiously in my chest

"Shit--I have to tutor though..." he pointed out disappointedly.

"That's okay. I'll wait," I assured him. "Do you think Derek will still show up?" I asked, thinking about all we had been through last week.

"I just saw him and he said he'd be there."

"Well, okay then. I'll call my mom and ask her to pick us up at four. What about Miranda?"

"Yeah, I'll have to call Mrs. Lopez," Jesse realized.

"Don't get into any trouble because of me," I cautioned him, recalling how he had previously fought with his mom about seeing me instead of taking care of his family obligations.

"I'm not feeling too guilty after all the misery I went through over the weekend." He looked at me with crystal blue eyes that pierced my soul. "I missed you so much..." he whispered.

I felt a lump in my throat and quickly turned my attention to fishing around in my locker for my lunch.

I could barely eat, I was so excited. Morgan looked uneasy, and half way through his Italian sub, asked Jesse if they could go somewhere and speak in private. He and Jesse ended up taking their lunches with them to go find a private corner in which to have their one on one. That left Tom and me...

"How's your foot?" he asked in a hushed but seriously concerned voice.

I shrugged. "It's okay. It still hurt a little yesterday, but I hardly noticed it today. I could barely see the teeth marks this morning!" I grinned.

Tom couldn't help but grin back. It had been such an outrageously absurd accident, that it was hard not to laugh about it in retrospect. Of course, what happened afterwards couldn't be as easily dismissed, and I saw the change in Tom's expression that told me he was thinking the same thing.

He glanced nervously over to where Morgan and Jesse were sitting. "I guess Morgan wanted to talk to Jesse about Derek, huh? " he speculated.

I shrugged. "Could be...Morgan had some suspicions that there might be something going on between those two," I admitted to Tom for the first time.

"How?" he asked.

"Derek had some pictures of Jesse hidden in his room. Morgan found them. That's one of the reasons he went totally ballistic at the last game."

Tom's eyes widened for a moment and then he nodded understandingly. He really was a remarkable person. I couldn't imagine the nerve it had taken for him to reveal to me the fact that he liked boys. Now, not only was I totally blown away by his serious artistic talents, but I also envied his ability to deal with the powerfully amorous feelings he had for me in such a relatively calm and thoughtful manner.

"Gees...do you think people might get the wrong idea if they see my drawing of you?" he asked with a sudden concern that indicated he hadn't really thought about the possibility before.

"I don't know. I think people will look at it more for it's--you know--artistic merit and stuff, and they won't be thinking so much about why it's a drawing of me." I hoped that wasn't just an optimistic rationalization on my part.

"That's good 'cause I already gave it to Sister Mary Luellen to look at," he said with a sense of relief.

I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of Tom showing that drawing to the art teacher for some reason. "As long as she doesn't show it to any of the kids..." I said.

"Yeah, I don't think she'd do that. I just want to get her critique. If she likes it, she'll show it to Father Marlen."

That made me even more apprehensive. I still had that uncanny feeling that the mysterious Padre knew everything that went on at his school, and that he would somehow see how Tom felt about me through the drawing.

"Oh...okay..." I said unassuredly.

"I really like it. I think it's my best work ever!" Tom declared confidently.

"If only I really looked like that!" I said wistfully, thinking how confident and sexy the boy in the drawing looked.

Tom glanced around the lunch area and then leaned over the table. "You really do look like that, silly...I love you so much Perry," he whispered.

When he said those words, it felt like getting hit in the head with a sack of potatoes--nothing sharp--just a lot of hard lumpy things knocking me off balance. It was so difficult for me to grasp the fact that Tom had such strong feelings for me while I had none such for him. To me, he was a close friend, albeit one with whom I shared intimate secrets. Sadly, he wasn't someone who affected me in a passionate or sexual way. I realized disconcertedly that our relationship was dangerously skewed and I had to wonder how this would all culminate. My mind was still reeling when Jesse and Morgan came sauntering back to the table. I pretended to be interested in something going on over in the parking lot.

"Is Derek okay?" Tom blurted out worriedly.

Morgan gave Tom a somewhat disdainful look. I wasn't sure what Morgan thought of Tom anymore, and I meant to ask Morgan about that sometime when we had a private moment.

"All I know is that something's been bothering him a lot lately, and he's not talking to me about it," Morgan said frustratedly. I think Morgan knew, or at least suspected, a little more than that, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Maybe I can get him to talk about it," Tom offered hopefully.

"Knock yourself out," Morgan replied skeptically.

And with that, Tom gave me one last little smile full of meaning, and jetted over to where Derek and his friends were just finishing their lunches.

"What's with Tom anyway?" Morgan asked with more than a hint of annoyance. "Sometimes it seems like he's more like Derek's mom than his friend."

"Tom is like that," I noted defensively. "He really cares about his friends a lot and he get's kinda...overprotective I guess."

Morgan nodded in an approving sort of way. "Well, he's not the only one, dude. I hope no one bothered you over the long weekend, while Jesse was away..."

I knew my eyes would give me away, and I immediately cast my gaze to the scratched metal tabletop before me.

"What...?" Morgan asked worriedly.

"You shouldn't keep all these things inside, Perry," Jesse prodded gently.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and then described to Morgan the whole business about what happened at the mall on Friday. I only left out two things--the apparent fact that Mario had a knife in my back, and the undeniable fact that Gene's brother was openly gay.

"Well, I guess they couldn't really do much there anyway, in the middle of all those people," Morgan surmised with some modicum of relief. "But shit, if I ever catch them even looking at you the wrong way, I'll pound their heads in!" he threatened.

"Don't, Morgan," I pleaded. "Don't say things like that. Promise me you'd never do anything...violent like that!"

"I could never just stand by and let people hurt you, Perry. I felt like knocking Manny and Arties' hollow heads together yesterday..."

"They were just having fun...I deserved it," I told him. "Really, it wasn't so bad..." At least, not after Jesse held me in his loving embrace for a while.

Morgan just looked at me, all kinds of emotions seeming to flit briefly across his face. I watched him close his eyes and take a few deep breaths, as if he was going through some kind of relaxation exercise.

"I understand why you'd be afraid of me losing control," he admitted. "But I won't let anyone lay a finger on you..." he warned me in deadly earnest.

"Even Jessica?" Jesse quipped.

We all laughed at the unexpected comment and some of the tension left the table.

"What'd you think about Georgie Rauch?" Morgan asked, a slight, knowing grin appearing on his face.

"You...you've met him?" I asked tentatively.

"Sure--he, Gene and I used to hang out a lot. Georgie was great. He wasn't stuck up like most high schoolers are. He even used to play football with us. He was a one man team. Sometimes, we'd have five or six guys against him, and still, he'd win every time!"

I had been worried that Morgan was going to bring up the fact that George Rauch was gay, and I was really uncomfortable with that whole subject for any number of reasons.

"I thought he was very cool," I agreed wholeheartedly, "just like Gene, really friendly and easy going. He said we could play golf together sometime."

"I've seen him drive a ball three hundred yards!" Morgan informed us with open admiration.

"What's going on over there?" Jesse asked, nodding his head towards the seventh graders.

Tom and Derek were standing a little ways off from the rest of the group, and they seemed to be having a rather heated discussion from the looks on their faces.

"I suppose I should go check it out," Morgan sighed like any dutiful big brother.

"Maybe it'd be better to just let them talk," Jesse suggested.

Morgan nodded uneasily, and we all watched until Derek and Tom went their separate ways, both of them obviously angry or upset about something.

I caught up with Tom at his locker just before Geography.

"What happened?" I asked with concern. "It seemed like you guys were arguing about something..."

Tom looked like he was on the verge of tears, and that it was taking everything in his power to hold them back.

"I asked him if everything was okay and he got upset and said I should quit bugging him all the time!" Tom explained rapidly, and I could see that Derek's comments had hurt him deeply.

"I don't think he meant anything personal," I assured him. "He's probably just messed up about that whole business with Jesse. It'll take him a while to get over it."

"But I'm his best friend!" Tom insisted. "He shouldn't be pushing me away."

"Maybe that's part of it," I speculated. "Maybe he's most embarrassed to face you, cuz the two of you are so close, and maybe he feels bad that he was thinking about Jesse...like that."

Tom sighed, obviously making a tremendous effort to calm himself down. The bell rang for class, and he quickly grabbed the books he'd need for the afternoon.

Before we got in earshot of the rest of the class, Tom turned to me, his eyes still a little watery from all the emotions he was holding in. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Perry. I think I'd go mad..."

"Why?"

"'Cause I don't think people our age are supposed to have all these crazy feelings...We're not...built for it, ya know? It's too much, like there's this huge ocean inside me and I can barely keep it from flooding out of me..."

I shuddered when he said that, thinking about the discussion Jesse and I had yesterday. "All we can do is stick together, and help each other out when we can," I offered uneasily.

Tom nodded solemnly in agreement. "I'd go mad without you..." he muttered quietly as we mingled with the rest of the eighth graders filing into Mr. Walsh's class.

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I called my mom before the beginning of our last class, and asked her to pick Jesse and me up around four o'clock. I told her that Mrs. Taylor would be by around six thirty to pick him up from our house.

"That's fine, dear. How's Jessica?" my mom asked in what sounded like a casual tone.

I felt my cheeks start to glow red as I stood under the eave near my locker. I hadn't told her about the embarrassing incident yesterday at lunch. Like Tom, I suddenly felt that vast ocean inside me swell up to my eyebrows, and I actually had that panicky feeling for a brief instant that I was going to drown.

"Perry dear, are you okay?" my mom asked after a rather long silence.

"Yeah, sure...mom. Uh, Jessica, she's fine...She says...uh...hello and stuff."

"Well, tell her 'hello and stuff' right back for me, would you, hon?" my mom requested teasingly.

"Yeah, sure...See ya at four--Bye!" That was enough of that conversation!

I sat in a quiet corner of the school library, getting a head start on my homework while Jesse started his tutoring session with Harriet Quinn. Apparently, her grades were improving, and if she got a good report card at the end of the semester, she'd be able to forego the private sessions--I bet she wasn't looking forward to that! But Jesse for sure wouldn't lose out. There were always new students coming into the program, and being at the top of the class, I'm sure he'd be first in line to receive them.

A few students stopped in long enough to check out books, but left as soon as their business was concluded. After about ten minutes, Derek came in. As I looked up at the sound of the door opening, our eyes locked and he suddenly looked very scared. He glanced apprehensively at Jesse, who gave him a reassuring smile and a little wave. Derek just stood by the door, shooting uneasy glances my way. I gave him an inquisitive look, and somehow he interpreted that to mean I was inviting him over.

He dropped his backpack on the floor next to the small round table, unzipped his grey St. Boniface hooded jacket, and sat across from me. It was cooling off quickly outside with the days getting shorter and shorter, and his cheeks were a little flushed from the sudden warmth of the interior.

"Hi, Perry," he said shyly.

"Hi, Derek. How's everything?" I asked in a hushed voice, glancing nervously towards Sister Mary Helen's desk. It was empty, which meant she was more than likely prowling around somewhere in the stacks, probably reshelving her precious tomes.

"I'm so sorry for what I said the other day," he apologized. "That was so whacked...I was just...really, really messed up."

"I understand," I said calmly. If only Derek realized the panic and fear he had inspired--not to mention that crazy dream!

"Did...uh...Jesse show you that...you know...letter I wrote...?" he asked tentatively.

I just nodded.

I saw the rosy red color on his cheeks start to fade as the blood drained from his face. "That was so stupid of me! I can't believe...!"

Suddenly, Sister Mary Helen was standing right next to our table with her hands folded in front of her. We both nearly jumped out of our skin--she was so quiet!

"If you boys intend to carry on a conversation, you should take it outside the library," she suggested drily. "This is, after all, a place for study, not idle chatter."

I wondered how many times she had recited that particular mantra! Anyway, she scared me, and I glanced at Derek and he quickly nodded. We got up, and left all our things at the table.

"We're...uh...coming back," I explained nervously, "to...study," I finished awkwardly. "Except...I'll take this..." I added breathlessly, grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair.

The tall and stern looking nun nodded curtly, looking down at us through her bifocals.

The cool December air actually felt good after our dramatic encounter with the school librarian. Derek moved down the open hallway a little, and then leaned against the brick wall next to a darkened classroom. He zipped his hoodie back up and stuffed his hands in the large pockets. He looked around carefully, making sure that our conversation wouldn't be overheard.

"What happened to your foot?" he asked curiously.

Gees, was I still limping? I hadn't even realized it. "Oh, nothing. I just stubbed my toe Sunday when I was at Tom's house."

"Oh yeah--sliding around his room?" he surmised with a knowing smirk.

I nodded sheepishly. Apparently, he and Tom had really done that. "Did you see those awesome pictures Tom drew of me?" he asked proudly.

"Yeah, they were incredible. I knew Tom was good, but those drawings were just amazing!"

"Yeah, it was a little weird when he asked me to take off my shirt to pose, ya know? I guess he was just being artistic, ya know? Besides, it was August and it was hot anyway, so..." he explained rapidly before his voice trailed off.

I just nodded, not wanting to say anything that might be misconstrued.

"Perry, ya gotta believe me--I'm not a fag!" he suddenly blurted out in a squeaky voice. Fortunately, there was no one around to hear us.

I gave him a puzzled look. While I didn't care for that word, his meaning was blatantly clear. And yet, hadn't he wanted to see Jesse naked? And to kiss him?

"I know, I know--I wrote those things..." he muttered uncomfortably.

"You mean they weren't true?" I asked with barely contained astonishment. Had it all been a misguided, juvenile prank on Derek's part? I felt myself starting to get angry.

"I didn't say that!" Derek declared rather loudly. He glanced around nervously to make sure the coast was clear. "I mean, I really do have those feelings about Jesse..." He gave me a sly little grin, those bright green eyes locking briefly with mine. "He's so fuckin' hot!" he informed me conspiratorially. He immediately cringed when he realized how loud he had spoken.

"But you just said..."

"I know, I know..." he groaned frustratedly. "I really like Jesse, and I know that's kinda...you know...gay?" he sort of squinted at me as he spoke. "But I like girls too!" he insisted.

Oh, now I was starting to get it. Perhaps he and I were members of the same club! "So in other words, you're interested in Jesse the same way you're interested in girls?" I asked.

Derek shrugged. "Sorta. Actually, I think Jesse is the coolest looking kid I ever saw, boy or girl."

Wow--we really could start a club!

"Derek, why are you telling me these things?" I asked worriedly.

Derek looked at me for a rather long time and I was starting to feel self-conscious under his intense scrutiny. "You're the third hottest kid that I know," he admitted reluctantly.

Gees, only third...?

"I think Merissa Scott is really, really pretty, and then...well, then there's you, Perry."

If we had been having this conversation a few months ago, I'm sure I would have gone running for the fire extinguisher and covered Derek with foam from head to toe, but somehow, after all that had happened since Jesse Taylor showed up at school, I was able to just stand there and listen to him. How weird was that?

"Does Merissa know how you feel?"

Derek quickly shook his head. "It's hard to talk to girls, ya know?"

"That's for sure," I acknowledged readily.

Well, I had to admit, with the exception of yours truly, Derek had impeccable taste. Merissa had caught my eye as well. She was about Derek's height of five foot two, and had long, bushy, light blonde hair. In the sunlight, it often appeared almost silvery white. Sometimes she tied it in a buoyant pony tail, and other times, she just let it tumble down her back and shoulders in big waves. She was slender of build but had a round, sweet face, rosy cheeks, bright turquoise eyes, and full lips. While she seemed like the demur, bashful type, she apparently worshipped Jessica, since I saw her hanging around with that particular crowd more than she did with the other seventh grade girls. She even had a twin brother in the same class--Billy. He was a little taller than his sister, but had a stocky build and a pudgy, freckle covered face to go with his short, reddish blond hair.

"But it's not much easier with boys," he admitted. "Those times when you came to our house to go swimming, I couldn't take my eyes off you," he confessed nervously. "But what could I say? I'm just Morgan's dopey little brother." He sighed frustratedly and scuffed his sneaker against the cement walk. "I don't even understand why I get all horny about boys...I guess I'm all fucked up, huh?"

"I think it has a lot to do with our age," I offered hesitantly. "Our bodies are changing and I guess our brains are too--only we can't see it."

Derek snorted in agreement. "My brain's sure doing some weird shit," he admitted readily.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Everything'll probably sort itself out eventually," I offered, "but I'd be real careful who you talked to about...about this sort of stuff."

Derek nodded his head emphatically. "I know...I've been so tempted to tell Tom some of these things, but I just know he'd freak out..."

I wondered what I could say without giving away any confidences, to let him know that freaking out was the last response he'd get from Tom. Suddenly, the door to the library swung open and Harriet Quinn stepped out. She glanced at us, but was too shy to actually say anything. She just turned to head towards the parking lot where her ride home apparently waited.

"Gees, Perry. It was really cool talking to you about...all this stuff, really. I guess I'd better go in..."

I gave him an encouraging little smile and nodded. We both headed back towards the library.

Just before he opened the door, Derek stopped and turned to me. "Do you think Jesse would ever like...want to jack off with me or something?" he asked hopefully. It was just like he was asking if Jesse would go skateboarding with him or something as casual as that.

"I have no clue," I responded earnestly, with a helpless shrug thrown in for emphasis.

Derek nodded thoughtfully, and gave me that scrunched up, squinty look again. "What about you?"

"Jesse's waiting for you," I reminded him.

Derek nodded, a brief look of disappoint passing across his face before being replaced by a thin smile of acceptance. "You're the awesomest, Perry!" he whispered as we stepped inside Sister Mary Helen's sanctum of silence.

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"What are you boys up to today?" my mom asked as she drove us home.

I suddenly tensed up as I realized I didn't even have an answer. In my giddy, and all-consuming anticipation of Jesse's visit, I hadn't even come up with a decent cover story. I glanced nervously at the beautiful boy sitting next to me.

"If it's okay with you, Mrs. Thompson," Jesse said politely, "I just like hangin' with Perry sometimes."

My mom smiled in a satisfied fashion. "That makes two of us," she replied cheerfully.

"How's your cold, dear?" she asked.

"Much better!" Jesse assured her, and he truthfully did seem much improved from this morning.

She asked if Jesse wanted to stay for dinner, but he said he had homework to catch up on from yesterday.

We watched as my mom pulled out of the driveway. I glanced at my watch. Four fifteen--two hours with my sweet angel! We stepped inside the kitchen and dumped our backpacks. We slipped off our jackets and hung them on the wall hooks by the kitchen door.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, finding it difficult to talk and grin at the same time.

Jesse brushed my cheek in that tender way of his, sending little tingles of electricity through my entire body. It didn't take long before we were wrapped in each other's arms. I rubbed my hands up and down his back and eventually worked my way to his perfectly bubbled ass. I felt myself getting hard as Jesse's hands rubbed the seat of my Dockers.

I pulled back enough to get my lips in front of his.

"I might still be a little sick..." Jesse warned.

"You're holding another boy's ass, you dork--of course you're sick!" I locked my lips onto his before he could reply. It must have gone on for a good three or four minutes as we both tried to plunge our tongues down each other's throats. I think that was a record even for us!

As we pulled back to catch our breath, our hands on each other's shoulders, I could see the moisture in Jesse's eyes through the blurriness of my own. No doubt it had something to do with that ocean of teenage angst we all seemed to be floundering in. But now, instead of feeling like it was going to swell to Tsunami-like proportions and come crashing down on my head, I felt like it was as warm and unthreatening as a soothing bath, and that all I wanted to do was float with Jesse in out little life raft, letting the tumultous waves carry us where ever they willed.

"Why don't you let me have a look at that foot," Jesse asked with concern.

"Oh, it's not really that bad. It still hurt a little yesterday but--"

Jesse was tugging me by my hand, leading me into the den. "I really need to see that foot!" he insisted urgently.

He sat me down and then got comfortable on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table. He started untying my left shoe.

"It's the other foot," I reminded him.

"Symmetry..." he explained succinctly. He tugged both my shoes off, and then slowly peeled down each sock.

"Don't get too close," I warned him, thinking the smell of my hot, sweaty feet after a whole school day in sneakers and socks, would be rather pungent.

"I'm still a little stuffed up," he assured me.

Jesse carefully lifted my right foot by the back of the heel so that the light shone on it. "Wow..." he said in quiet amazement, as he examined the light red indentations. "Look at Tom's overbite...you can see every tooth--even his molars!"

"He really had it stuffed in there," I agreed, remembering how strangely distorted Tom's face had looked with his mouth full of my foot.

Carefully, Jesse tilted my foot so that he could examine the sole. "Not so bad here..." he noted, lightly brushing his fingers over the dull impressions of Tom's lower teeth.

I jumped at the sudden stimulation.

"Whoa! Sorry, dude, sorry," Jesse apologized quickly.

"That's okay," I assured him with an unsteady smile.

"Why don't you just lie back?" he suggested, scooting over to sit on the opposite end of the sofa while I swung my legs up. Jesse took my bare feet in his lap and I thought I was going to get a nice foot massage. I hadn't asked him for one, but I certainly wasn't going to complain if he offered it.

Instead, I was surprised to see him lower his head so that the bangs of his soft and silky hair lightly tickled the tops of my feet. He started by kissing each of the toes on my right foot. "Poor baby..." he murmured. Each touch of his moist lips on my tender flesh sent little shivers of delight up my leg. Then he took my big toe into his mouth! I couldn't believe it!

"What're you doing?" I asked in astonishment. Jesse wasn't into feet and I imagined it must be a repulsive act for him. I didn't want him doing something just because he thought I would like it. I tried to pull my leg away, but he held tightly onto my ankle as I felt his hot, wet tongue swirl around my toe.

I gasped at the powerful surge of sexual energy that shot through my foot, up my leg, and whirled around my groin like a swarm of agitated bees. This was nothing like the feeling I had on Sunday when Tom did something similar. My dick, which had started to harden immediately upon our first kiss, suddenly felt fully engorged and strained mightily against the fabric of my boxers and school pants. I squirmed with ecstasy as he meticulously sucked each toe individually. I realized with delight that his mouth was as well trained as his hands and feet! Still, I knew he didn't have the weird fetish that Tom and I did, and I finally wrenched my ankle out of his grasp.

I felt the coolness of the air on my wet toes as they slipped out from between his beautiful red lips. He looked at me, looking puzzled and breathing heavily from his exertions.

"Why'd you do that for?" he asked disappointedly.

"You...you're not into feet," I stammered breathlessly. I was so worked up, I could barely think straight.

"I just had your toes in my mouth and you're telling me I'm not into feet?" he asked with a slightly bemused smile.

"But why...why did you do that?"

Jesse gently stroked the tops of my feet. "I love your feet, Perry...They're the most beautiful feet in the world. I love your toes, your knees, your belly button--I love every part of you. It's crazy, I know, but I can't help it."

He said that with such sincerity that it caused a lump in my throat. "It's not crazy..." I whispered drily, my eyes locked onto his. "I feel the same way about you..."

In a few quick moves, we were snuggled up against each other, thigh to thigh on the sofa, locked in a tight embrace. We were both brimming with powerful emotions that threatened to overwhelm us; the ocean was rising above our heads and there was nothing we could do about it. It took a little time to work all those intense feelings out of our systems, but we finally managed to settle down. We had both shed a few tears, but they were tears of joy, and those were the kind most worth shedding. I got out the tissues and we wiped the wet and sticky messes off each other's faces.

"I love your hair," Jesse said, as he ran his fingers through my long, dishevelled locks. "It's so thick and wavy, and I love the way it feels."

"I...I won't get it cut if it means that much to you," I assured him.

He gently shook his head. "I love your hair, but I'm not in love with it," he clarified. "Do what ever you need to. It just means I'll get to see more of your beautiful face..."

It was such an overwhelming sensation to feel Jesse's love. I knew for a fact that I was nothing special to look at, and yet the way he gazed at me with those unfathomable crystal blue eyes, it was clear that he must have seen something there that touched him deep inside. And I was glad for it. I wanted Jesse to love me; I think I wanted it from the first day I saw him--even if I hadn't fully realized it at the time.

"I talked to Derek a bit after school," I told him, wanting to pull myself back from the deep well of emotions into which we were both sinking.

"I saw you guys go out," he noted.

"He's not sucha bad kid." I remarked, thinking about that crazy dream. "I think he really does have a crush on you."

"Before I met you, I think that would have really freaked me out," Jesse admitted. "But you've taught me to get inside other people's feelings, and I guess I'm okay with it. He really does need to get over it though, because there's no way I'd ever leave you for Derek--or anybody else," he said with a sincere smile. I could even see my doubled reflection in the glistening pools of his eyes.

"I guess he's just as mixed up as the rest of us," I said with a knowing smile, trying to sum up our conversation in the simplest way possible.

Jesse stared at me intently. "I'm not mixed up," he assured me. "I know exactly what I want..."

"And what would that be?" I asked with a knowing smile.

"A camera," he stated plainly.

"Huh...?"

"I want to take some pictures of you before you get your Mohawk."

"Oh...but we just took some on Thanksgiving Day," I reminded him. "In fact, I printed some..."

"I'm sure those are great, but I need to take some more pictures," he insisted.

"Oh...okay," I replied, a bit perplexed by Jesse's sudden interest in photography. "It's upstairs. You wanna come help me get it?" I asked coyly.

"I'll just wait here," he said, contentedly sitting on the sofa with his hands folded in his lap.

"Okay..." I said a little disappointedly.

"Hurry!" he urged me with a playful little shove.

I bounded up the stairs still barefoot, got the digital camera out of my room where I had been downloading all the Thanksgiving pictures, and quickly returned.

"Here ya go!" I said, breathlessly offering the camera to Jesse.

"How many pictures can I take?" he asked, quickly examining all the little buttons and scanning the various menus. For all I knew, this was the first time he had ever held a digital camera.

"The memory card is clean, so about a hundred and fifty, I think."

"That's the highest quality?" he asked.

"Five megapixels, dude!" I assured him.

"Great! Can we go outside?" he asked.

"You wanna take pictures of me outside?" I asked in puzzlement.

Jesse sprang up and went into the kitchen and then quickly returned before I could even catch up to him. "Shit...it's getting dark already!" he said disappointedly.

I glanced at my watch. It was quarter to five and being early December, the sun was already gone.

"Sorry, dude," I said sympathetically.

Jesse shrugged. "That's okay. We can do them in here," he said cheerfully.

I started to reach for my socks.

"Whoa, dude, what'cha doing?" he asked worriedly.

"Putting my shoes and socks back on," I answered. You don't want pictures of my stupid feet!"

"Oh, the stupider the better," he assured me.

I didn't mind going barefoot as long as we were staying inside, so I just shrugged. "Okay, where do you want me to stand?" I asked.

"Over by the staircase would be good," he suggested.

That was a very photogenic spot. The staircase was nicely carpeted and the landing was impressively wide and sweeping; the banisters and railings were all polished oak. I went over and posed stiffly by the curved banister.

"How's this?"

Jesse made a dissatisfied face. "Boh-ring!"

I tried something more casual, leaning against the wall of the staircase with the railing behind my head. I folded my arms and smiled self-consciously.

"That's better--only you need to take off your shirt!" Jesse advised.

"Really?" I asked, surprised by the unexpected request. Jesse had already seen me naked, so I didn't have too much of a problem with undressing in front of him, except for the fact that he was so handsome and I was so plain. But pictures...?

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Whatever, dude," I said with a shrug and an awkward smile. I pulled my white polo shirt over my head and shook my dishevelled locks back in place.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Jesse crowed. "Just reach behind you and hold on to the railing..."

"Like this?" I asked dubiously.

Jesse nodded, and I did as he asked, leaving my torso fully exposed, my rib cage pressed tightly against my chest. Since seeing Morgan the other day, I was self-consciously aware of my nearly hairless armpits. At least I noted that I was starting to get some definition where my abs were supposed to be. Maybe I would take Morgan up on his offer about working out together.

"Now pretend I'm naked!" he suggested.

I immediately broke into a look of wide eyed lust and Jesse started taking pictures, moving closer and further away, the flash, after a series of quick bursts, eventually causing black dots to swim in front of my eyes.

"Enough!" I said half kiddingly. I lowered my arms and rubbed my eyes.

"More--lots more!" Jesse said excitedly. "Now take off your pants!"

"Dude!" I exclaimed, feeling myself blush.

"Please, Perry. You're so...so fuckin' beautiful!" he begged passionately.

"If you say so," I said dismissively. "It's just that...why do you want pictures of me...like that?"

"You can send them over the internet, right?"

"I guess..."

"So when you're in New York, you can send me a different one every day. Hopefully that'll keep me from losing my mind until you come back." He explained all this to me in an excited but logical tone of voice.

But I was quickly overcome with emotion as I first thought about the two long and lonely weeks I would be away, and then about how much Jesse would miss me. Until now, I had only been worried about myself, thinking about my own needs and how painful it would be to not have Jesse anywhere near me. But my extra clever friend already had a plan to deal with my absence.

"You're afraid you'll lose your mind when I'm gone?" I asked disbelievingly, my throat tight with emotion. I felt myself getting suddenly weak. My eyes really started watering up again and this time, more than a few tears rolled down my cheeks. "No one's ever said such a nice thing to me before..."

Jesse's expression immediately changed to one of concern. "Oh, dude. Don't!" he pleaded sympathetically. "You're eyes'll get all red and puffy and ruin..."

I slumped down against the wall below the railing, pulling my knees up to my chest. Jesse came and quickly sat beside me.

I reached between us and gripped his hand tightly in mine. "I can't believe I won't be able to see you for two weeks! This is so bad..." I moaned despondently, wondering how we were ever going to survive my trip back east. And what about the coming summer...?

"No, it's not bad," Jesse insisted gently. "Hate and fear are bad. Love is good. Very, very good..."

"Even when it hurts?" I asked from my tightened throat.

"Of course...It's a good kind of hurt." He removed his hand from my grasp and reached an arm around my bare shoulders. He gently pulled me into him and we kissed like two boys in love, because, for better or worse, that's what we were.

Jesse released my lips with an audible smack. "Now take off your pants!" he said excitedly, springing to his feet with a grin--and some of my saliva--on his angelic face.

I dabbed the remaining moisture from my eyes and smiled at his enthusiasm. "Okay, dude. But I think I need some inspiration," I prodded him, slowly getting to my feet.

He seemed to understand exactly what I meant. He toed off his sneakers, exposing his beautiful sock feet to me. I could see the outlines of his long and slender toes through the tight white cotton crews. I immediately felt myself harden.

"Mmmmm...a little more..." I pressed him.

Jesse nodded, and insteasd of peeling off his socks as I expected, he set the camera down and pulled his polo shirt over his head. I held my breath as his silky blond hair tumbled sexily onto his forehead and into his eyes. I rushed over and brushed the stray locks from his face, and he smiled in a way that just made me melt inside.

Of course he looked totally hot without his shirt, his lean and sinewy torso tapering to the slender waist of his khaki Dockers. I ran my hands over his smooth, hard shoulders and down his arms. I leaned in to kiss those luscious red lips...

After a couple minutes of intense liplock, Jesse backed off. "Pictures, dude! Pictures!" he giggled, scooping the camera back up. "Now where were we? Oh yeah, you were going to take off your pants!"

Yeah, as ridiculous as it sounded, I was going to take off my pants, because it would make Jesse happy, and somehow that was the most important thing I could ever imagine doing. I stood in the middle of the living room, at the bottom of the stairs, unbuckled my belt, and stepped out of my black Dockers. Jesse's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and I figured my dick must be sticking straight out of the front of my underpants to get that kind of reaction. But then I realized what it was--I had totally forgotten that I had put on black silk boxers this morning! I had intended it to be my secret little tribute to Jesse's return to school.

"Those are so awesome, dude!" Jesse exclaimed approvingly.

I felt the heat on my blushing cheeks as I finished stepping out of my pants. I kicked them off to the side and made a little formal bow. I felt awkward for a few moments, standing there in nothing but my boxers.

"Welcome to Chippendale's!" I suddenly declared, and then started gyrating my hips and locking my hands behind my head. Pretty soon, I was twisting myself into silly 'muscle beach' poses, making a fist and pressing it against my forehead and bending one knee. Granted, I was no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but Jesse took pictures of all of it, moving quickly around me to get all kinds of different angles. And the flash didn't bother me as much this time because I wasn't looking directly into the camera.

"Okay, now go sit on the stairs," he requested excitedly, the intense look of concentration on his face telling me he was totally into this kinky little photo shoot.

"Higher up," he informed me when I started to plant myself on the bottom step.

I went up to about the middle and sat with my arms awkwardly at my sides.

"What if you leaned back on your elbows?" he suggested, from the bottom of the staircase.

I leaned back, my elbows resting on one step, my butt on another, and my feet resting on still another.

"Okay, now spread your legs a little!"

I couldn't help but snicker. This all seemed so 'dirty' to me somehow, Jesse taking pictures of me in nothing but my silk boxers, and of course, it was all getting me hard as a rock.

Jesse must have noticed as well.

"Looks like someone else wants to get into the act!" he declared, pointing to the unmistakable outline of my erection against the thin fabric of my silk boxers. There was even a dark stain--blacker than the black of the fabric--where a little precum had leaked from my slit.

"He misses you a lot!" I admitted shyly.

"I missed him too!" Jesse replied immediately. He started up the stairs and then sat on the step below my feet. Still holding the camera in one hand, he lightly caressed my thigh with the other. To say that Jesse's touch was absolutely electrifying was only to hint at the thrill it gave me. His hand slid down my leg, over my bended knee and shin, and gently stroked the top of my foot.

"I can't believe I never tasted your toes before!" he said with quiet sincerity. "They're so good--I love 'em!" His hand lightly caressed my foot and lingered there for a moment, but it soon started sliding back up my leg, along my inner thigh, and finally right where I wanted it to go, into my boxers.

As Jesse's long fingers made their way up the leg of my underwear, I stifled the urge to tell him how good I was feeling. Instead, I just let things happen, feeling my cock throb as fiercely as my heart.

But Jesse abruptly slipped his hand out and started back down the stairs.

"Just pop that puppy out and let's take a few more pictures! Then I gotta have me a Perry milkshake!"

That sounded like the perfect snack and my mom always told me to be a good host. It took little cajoling to get my erection to spring out from the opening at the front of my boxers.

"Oh, that's my baby!" Jesse sang, holding the camera up.

He snapped another bunch of pictures and I noticed the telephoto lense moving forward--as if the camera itself was getting hard from seeing my erection! I wondered what my mom would think if she saw me sitting here on her nicely carpeted staircase, nearly naked, my fully aroused boyhood poking out of my silk boxers like a fleshy colored mushroom.

"What a great zoom!" Jesse declared excitedly as the flash went off again and again, causing black dots to swirl around my field of vision once more.

I was about to tell Jesse that it was time for that snack when the doorbell rang! Shit--someone was at the front door!

 

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