Primary Target - 4. Chapter 4

The rest of August was uneventful after the incident in the mall. Even though it was the closest mall to us, I refused to ever go back to it until I knew Bates and all of his people didn’t exist anymore. But during the rest of the month, Dad took us to the high school we’d be enrolled in for the upcoming term as we both needed to sign up for classes. I almost gagged upon hearing its name. But I guess I can’t fault the makers of the school too much for deciding on Liberty High since we are in one of the original thirteen colonies. Conner tried to pick as many classes as he could that freshmen and juniors could both have and also held our interest. Naturally, this really only worked for about two or so classes – the school administrator helping us said that the freshman class was usually kept separated from the upper classmen for adjustment and safety issues. I almost told the lady about being gay as the topic somehow came up, but Dad loudly cut me off as he sensed my intentions.

I was still glaring at him as we left the building that day. “Dad? What was that back there?” I said coldly.

He quickly stepped in front of me and I accidentally bumped into him due to his speed. He grabbed my shoulders. “Son, listen to me. I know you’re now ‘out and proud’ and I’m not trying to stop you.” I tried to cut him off, very angry at him right now but he barreled through. “But before you tell any faculty, all I ask is that you read the student handbook on their discrimination policy and what measures they’ll take to protect you. That way, you’re armed with the ammunition to make sure they have to help you even if they don’t want to. Understand? For all you know, that lady in there is so homophobic that she’d kill you even for thinking gay.”

I still wasn’t happy, but I understood his point. “Fine,” I said bitterly.

“Look, I’d love it if you can use this book,” he waved a handbook around, “as a weapon against bigoted faculty members. Trust me, I know they exist. They’d see you getting picked on and turn a blind eye to it. If that ever happens, we’ll be able to nail them to the wall.”

“Dad’s right,” Conner said. “I know you don’t want to hide yourself anymore – and you shouldn’t have to – but what if that lady was... like Bates?” I had to consider that a bit more. For all I knew, she had a weapon of some sort taped under her desk in case the school gets attacked by gunmen or something. I took the handbook from Dad and started browsing it thoroughly on the ride home.

 

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The first day snuck up on us without warning. I was glad, though. Since we had no friends in the area, both of us Jacobs kids grew more restless as the month dragged on. Conner and I even butted heads a few times near the end – that rarely happens. But we both knew when to split from one another before either of us said anything we would regret. I… I don’t know what I’d do if I pissed Conner off enough and he was still so mad that he wouldn’t want to help me if the chips came down.

I walked into the main lobby with Conner and saw a large crowd of kids my age hovering around three tables. I noticed the sign above the crowd. “Welcome Freshmen” it read.

“I guess this is my stop,” I sighed, suddenly nervous.

“Guess so,” Conner replied. He appeared nervous too. But I don’t think it’d last too long – Conner’s not that type of kid to be reclusive for long. He was a social butterfly back in Sandusky, having at least twice as many friends as I did – a lot of them surprisingly good ones and not just acquaintances. I remember him jokingly tell me one night he had to beat off the ladies with a stick even while he dated Jeanne. I was assured it would still be the case here as I saw a group of upper classmen walk passed and almost giggled when the girls thought they were out of range. I rolled my eyes.

“Go break some hearts, bro,” I laughed after I witnessed that. He rolled his eyes at me.

“I’ll meet you outside at the car today after school. You have your key to get in if needed, right?” I dangled my keychain as he spoke, knowing he’d ask. “Okay, just checking. Good luck today and… be careful.”

“I will,” I said. I waved as he walked around a corner and disappeared. I turned back to see the chaos now in front of me. I located the “I – P” table and got in line. It crawled forward slowly as each student ahead got their first schedule and homeroom assignments. I grew bored and restless. I took to scanning my fellow classmates. Not bad, I sighed to myself as I took in several boys in the “A – H” line looking mighty fine. I almost sighed out loud a few times, but I caught myself and kept my eyes moving, not lingering too long on any one boy.

“Hey, the line moved,” some girl behind me complained. I turned to look at her and noticed she was annoyed a bit.

“Sorry,” I meekly offered as I closed the gap.

 

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With my schedule and locker assignments in hand, I was instructed to head towards my homeroom. It was someone named Willoughby – no salutation. I almost burst out laughing at the name, picturing some old lady or dude barely able to keep their teeth from falling to the floor and getting lost trying to find the board. The door was closed to the room, but I already saw a vast majority of the desks already filled. I double-checked the room number – I was at the right place. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

I noticed I interrupted Willoughby as she stopped in mid-sentence and I was surprised at the young lady – mid to late twenties I’d guess – at the head of the class. She turned to me as she went back to her desk and grabbed her roster. “You must be… Alexander Jacobs, right?” I nodded. “Good, you’re the last one for my homeroom. You’re a little late, but I’ll let it slide this once.” She smiled. “Class, this is Alex – a new student from Ohio. Care to share anything about yourself with your classmates, Alex?”

I shifted my backpack on my shoulder a bit nervously as I finally realized I had about twenty-five pairs of eyes on me. “Hi, I’m Xander as the teacher just said. Moved here about a month ago. Um… I like photography, reading, and video games.” I coughed. “That’s it.”

I saw her writing on the roster sheet – most likely noting the nickname I addressed myself with. “Okay Xander, please take a seat. I don’t do formal seating charts, so wherever there’s an empty seat.” She’s a quick one, I said to myself as I noticed she also verbalized the change I made. I quickly scanned the room and noticed only two seats seemed open – one in the front left corner of the room and one somewhat in the middle. I opted for the middle one. I figured it was the best one to check out the guys in the room. I sat down and set my bag next to my chair.

“Alright, now that everyone’s here, I only have a few things to say before I turn you loose to talk amongst yourselves – I know you’re going to hear the same thing all day, so I’m not going to bore you with it this early. Just be nice to everyone and don’t interrupt anyone while you’re in my room and there won’t be any issues. You break these rules here and I’ll become a bitch so fast your little heads will spin. Got it?” Most of us just nodded calmly. I wasn’t one of them – I was still stuck on her swearing so bluntly. She was a teacher? Could’ve fooled me, but I think I like her already. “Good. You’re all here for about another half hour before you all head off to your first period class. When the announcements come on, I expect you all to simmer down and listen. That should be in about ten minutes or so.” With that, she stopped talking, went behind her desk, and grabbed a newspaper and a bagel sitting on the desk as she sat.

I drummed my fingers on my desk absently as everyone else paired off into their little groups and suddenly I found myself isolated in a sea of cliques with only a couple of floating, solitary kids. Anticipating this, I dug into my bag and produced my latest book, Arthas. I am a huge World of Warcraft fan and I felt so bad for the prince of Lodaeron and his tragic fall I had to get the book and get the whole story in one novel.

I was engrossed in reading when I heard a throat clear next to me. I ignored it, figuring it was intended for someone else when it came again, louder this time. I looked up and searched briefly for the source. It was a rather pretty black-haired girl sitting to my left, staring intently between my eyes and the cover of my book featuring the face of the Lich King. “Yes?” I asked as I stared at the girl.

“That’s a good book… or at least my brother says it is. I saw him reading that a few months back.”

I glanced at the cover again before I made eye contact with her. “So far I’m enjoying it. Don’t say anything about it if you’ve read it.”

“Oh no, that’s not my game sorry,” she laughed a bit. “My brother loves that game. He’s the type people tend to talk about – sits in front of his computer for hours doing that… uh, raiding thing or whatever on the weekends with his… legion. I’ve watched him a few times, but I get bored after a few minutes.”

“Guild,” I corrected her with a small smile on my face.

“What?” she asked, obviously confused. I guess MMORPGs aren’t her thing.

“Guild, not legion. Legion is Aion.”

She rolled her eyes, not really caring. “Whatever,” she laughed again. “I can’t keep those things straight if they bit me in the ass. My brother knows all about all those games. It’s a bit scary, really.”

“I only know of this one really,” I replied as I raised my book. “I know a bit of some of the others as they get their initial releases. After that, I don’t really care about those other ones.”

“Oh! I just realized I didn’t introduce myself. I forgot since I already know who you are. I’m Jessica. Jessica Rogers. Any nickname is okay with me – I don’t really have a preference on them.”

I took a chance. “So… I could call you ‘Hey you!’ and you’d answer?” I laughed a bit.

“You could, but I’d probably just give you the finger,” she quipped back with a smile. She flipped her long hair behind her again as it fell forward. “And don’t you dare say ‘airhead’ or ‘queenie’ either!”

“I’m glad I went with a neutral comment then,” I smiled. I saw her smile fade just a bit and transformed into awe. “What? Do I have a bug on my face?”

“No…” she breathed. “Your eyes…”

“Oh yeah, they’re kind of cool, right?” I grabbed my phone from my bag. I scrolled to the picture I took on the first night in town and showed it to her. “I think I really like this pic of me. I saw it when I was about to take a shower and I had to capture it in case it never happened again. First time that happened.”

I saw her slowly put her hand to her mouth in complete amazement. I even think I heard her let out a long sigh. Uh oh… I think she’s falling for me, I thought to myself. If that were true, this would really be the first time any girl tried to hit on me. I almost found it amusing, but then I almost seized up. I’d have to tell her. I couldn’t lead her on, even if I just met her. I started at her and saw her eyes twinkly with what I guess would be lust, but I wasn’t sure. I’ve never really bothered to see how a girl gets all mushy for a guy before.

“What are you looking at?” a boy on the other side of Jessica asked.

“This,” she said as she shoved my phone into his face. I leaned a bit forward to see his reaction and what he looked like. He wasn’t too bad: somewhat short blond hair, seemingly short in height, and the outline of a pair of glasses framing the edges of his face. I couldn’t really see his face as Jess had my phone blocking my view.

I heard his slight gasp. “Who is that?” Before she could answer, a bell sounded. Everyone started to gather their things and Jess handed me back my phone. I saw the boy she talked to was already gone.

“Maybe we’ll have some classes together,” she smiled as she walked out of the room.

 

---

 

Shit! I screamed in my head as I dashed down the halls, frequently glancing at the map I was glad I found in my bag. Dad must’ve slipped it in – I was cocky and said I wouldn’t need it at all today. I rounded the corner as the bell rang and I saw my destination finally – the cafeteria. It should have been really easy to find this large room, but I ended up walking in a big square for a minute before I realized it. I almost wanted to smack myself in the head.

“Xander?”

I whipped around and was pleasantly surprised to see Conner heading in my direction, his own map in hand. “Conner!” I wanted to hug him, but I also didn’t want to embarrass my brother, so I did the next best thing. We agreed before school started we’d share our own secret handshake if we ran into each other and had the time to do it. We just slapped palms together before bumping fists. “You have lunch now?”

“Yep. Damn cafeteria must be a military secret,” he grumbled as we walked into the room. He switched his bag to his other shoulder.

“You got lost too?” I chuckled. He nodded and my chuckle deepened a bit. “Hey, I’ll grab us a table if you get the food? You know my tastes.”

“Actually…” he trailed off.

“You already have friends to sit with, don’t you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he smiled sheepishly while also looking guilty.

“Get that guilty look off your face, Conner. Go sit with your friends. I don’t mind, really.”

“You sure? Because I’ll–”

“Stop,” I said. “We see each other at home all the time. Go be that social butterfly I know you are.” I just then saw Jess from my homeroom sitting down at a mixed table. “In fact, I think I just saw someone from my homeroom that I can sit with.” We made our way to one of the lines and started picking out some items to put on our trays.

“Look at you, making a friend on the first day.” He lowered his head to my ear and whispered. “So… is he cute?”

I shook my head as he raised his a bit. “Her name is Jessica,” I whispered back. I looked back to see the bemused expression on Conner’s face. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said with a small smile. We exited the line after we paid. “Alright, I’ll see you later, bro.”

“Yep, see you.” He disappeared into the room in search for his quickly made friends. I made my way in the general direction of Jess’s table. I got lucky and she turned and saw me immediately.

“Xander!” she almost shouted as she waved her arm a bit to grab my attention. I closed the gap between us. “Hey, I didn’t know you had my lunch.”

“We really didn’t go over my schedule in homeroom or anything…” I trailed off with a smile.

She laughed. “No, I guess we didn’t. Here, sit with us!”

“Can I? I mean, if it’s an imposition…”

“Don’t be silly. Sit!” She practically pulled me down into the seat. There were about five or so people in her little group of friends – one other girl and three boys plus Jess. “Hey guys. This is the new kid I was talking about – Xander… uh…”

“Jacobs,” I supplied.

“Yeah, Xander Jacobs,” she said recovering. “Xander, this here is Katrina Schmidt. She’s been my best friend since preschool.” I noticed that Katrina looked strikingly beautiful. Her soft features were offset by the platinum blond hair crowning her head and face, but what stood out were the few black streaks added to the mix. It gave her a look of both beauty and a strange aura of… something. Whatever it was, I liked it.

“Nice to meet you,” she smiled at me as she spoke. There was a bit of an accent in her voice – a German hint I guessed – but it was very subtle.

“Just warning you now – don’t piss her off, whatever you do,” Jess leaned in and whispered. Katrina slapped Jess on the arm as the other girl’s smile faded and solidified into ice. I guess this would be why I don’t want to piss her off. A few seconds was all it took for the glacier to melt back from her warm features.

“Jess, you’re playing with fire–OW!” one of the boys started off smiling but it quickly changed to one in pain. I guessed that Katrina kicked him under the table.

“The one in pain right now is another long friend of ours, Eric Kramer.” I studied the face of the boy grimacing in pain, the look fading slowly. He had fairly long hair styled in a popular skater look of shaggy, brown curls. He even wore clothes befit of a skater. He stuck out his first towards me. I tapped it with my own.

“’Sup dude?” he said. I nodded at him with a shy smile. I really hoped I wasn’t blushing and if I was that it wasn’t too strong. Usually any physical contact with boys always did something to me unless that particular boy was so ugly or mean that the ground wherever they walked cracked and buckled. I have yet to really meet any really ugly boys – usually it’s the personality that’s ugly and turns me off.

“Sitting next to Eric is Josh Rogers.”

“Rogers? That’s your last name, right?” I asked.

She nodded. “He’s my brother. Well, one of them.” Josh offered his hand out and I shook it. I gazed him over quickly, taking in his dark brown hair cut similarly to my own, but styled a bit differently; it was trendier. I saw the same eyes and facial features that Jess had, but definitely more masculine. It matched his rather toned form, the muscles on his arms pretty defined. His smile also matched Jess’s. The smile started to slowly fade as I continued to hold his hand.

“Oh, sorry,” I said quickly as I slipped my hand out of his.

“Hey, no problem,” he said as he shook his head slightly. “Nervous?” I just nodded. “Ah, I think you’ll fit in here.” I just smiled back meekly – he was someone I could see me dating. I mean, it was almost like seeing Jess in male form and Jess is pretty attractive for a girl.

“And lastly, this is – and I’m not shitting you – Benedict Arnold Chapman.”

I couldn’t help myself as I burst out into a fit of laughter. I buried my face into my left arm as my right started pounding on the table.

“You had to say my middle name, didn’t you?” the boy grumbled.

“I had to… I mean, come on!” Jess laughed alongside me. I think she was laughing at my reaction more than anything. I finally raised my head and saw tickled expressions on everyone else’s face except one.

“You call me Benedict and I’ll kick your ass, new boy.” Even as he said it, I saw his mouth trying not to smile. I guess even he found his name amusing. The sandy blond hair on the kid looked good and brought out his green eyes. I almost licked my lips I as I finally saw his face but I refrained. I also noticed his fist hovered before me. I quickly tapped it with mine.

“I-I really didn’t mean to laugh at you, Benedict.” The other five around laughed as I stressed the kid’s name.

“Yeah, yeah. Just get it out of your system now,” he sighed.

“No, I only called you that because of the mood – I’d never call you your full name if you really hate it,” I countered as my smile dimmed a bit. “I assume you’d rather go by Ben?”

He nodded. “Yeah, most definitely.” He shook his head in defeat. “I mean, really? What were my parents thinking?” He sighed before muttering, “Benedict Arnold, ugh.”

“I bet that’s a fun name to have on Fourth of July,” I said casually.

“It’s a riot,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, who were you talking to as you came out of the lunch line?” Jess asked.

“Oh, that was Conner – my older brother. He’s a junior. I’m kind of surprised we share a lunch.”

“Interesting,” Jess smiled slyly.

“Ignore her,” Katrina said. “She told me she’d try to land a junior or better as her boyfriend this year. She’s just deluding herself.”

“Hey, doesn’t hurt to have lofty goals,” she quipped back.

“Yeah, and I’ll get to meet Tony Hawk,” Eric said.

“Or Landon Donovan,” Josh offered.

“Or Britney Spears,” Ben added. That got him looks. “What? She’s hot!” The other guys agreed quickly with a couple of high fives between them. I suddenly felt eyes on me since I really didn’t react to the Britney Spears thing, but Jess spoke up quickly.

“So, I don’t remember if you said where you’re originally from in homeroom.”

“Oh, that’d be Sandusky,” I sighed as I sipped on my juice.

“Cool,” Eric said. “What’d you do there?”

“I played on the middle school soccer team and really just chilled out with my group of friends. Other than that, I played video games or read books.”

The other two boys groaned. “Oh no, he’s another Josh!” Ben complained as I noticed Josh perked up a bit more.

“Soccer? Video games? Awesome!” he commented. “He’s got a permanent seat at this table in my book!”

“Of course you’d say that,” Katrina said dejectedly. “At least maybe you’ll prattle on about that stuff to only him now.” She turned to me. “You don’t understand – last year it was only me and him sharing a lunch and he wouldn’t shut up about the World Cup or this Warcraft thing.”

I seized onto what she said. “You’re the brother that plays World of Warcraft?!” I almost squealed. I sensed four people’s utter disdain for this topic.

“You play?” Josh said almost as quickly. “What faction?”

“Horde!” I said proudly.

“Alliance!” he said over me with equal pride. Suddenly, we glared at each other.

“Alliance scum!” I nearly spat, a playful smile on my face.

“Horde pig!” he said with distaste, but I saw the smile on his face as he said it.

“SHUT UP!” the other four complained. Josh and I laughed.

“We’ll compare patch notes later,” Josh said with a laugh.

I laughed too. “Patch notes… that was good.” I just realized all that banter with Josh affected me in a way I didn’t think it would. I felt my face getting a bit hotter. I glanced down at my tray, finding my pizza crust fascinating.

“Now that we’re all back in the real world,” Ben said with a laugh. “Kat, you’re going to run for Student Council again, right?”

“Probably,” she said indifferently. “I found it interesting in middle school. I just wonder how I’ll fare this year in the election.”

“You’ll be fine, Kat,” Jess said, propping up her best friend. “A lot of the kids in the class liked you as President last year. Your only competition is Mason, but I’d be happy with your or him – you both do good work.”

“I really liked that you tried to get them to allow the skaters access to the lot after school hours. Bonus points in my book,” Eric said. I glanced up, finally feeling the blood fade from my cheeks, along with another problem altogether.

I’m so glad I did.

He banged a little loudly into the room and almost all conversations died from the sound. Most of the eyes turned to the boy for only a second, but I couldn’t tear mine away even if I tried. His spiked blond hair entranced me, helping the magnetic pull of his bright hazel eyes. He strode down the aisles of tables with neither arrogant superiority nor bashful timidity – he simply was totally neutral to the cafeteria in an almost mysterious way. The way his clothes almost clung to his rather trim body had me practically drooling.

“W-Who is that?” I whispered.

“Oh, that’s Mason Jackson. He was VP on the council last year in middle school,” Jess said. I noticed she turned to Kat. “Or was it treasurer?”

“No, he was my VP,” Kat answered. “Hello? You just said he ran against me!” She laughed a bit. The teen stood taller than any of the ninth graders I’ve seen so far, so I immediately assumed him to be at least a sophomore. I guess I was wrong. Suddenly, he made eye contact with me as he scanned the faces still staring at him and I froze. I didn’t notice the boy’s slowing gait as I felt lost in his eyes, at the moment a soothing gray. But just as suddenly, the bell rang, snapping Mason out of his trance. He refocused on the path before him and he just simply walked out of the cafeteria.

“Uh, Xander?” Jess snapped her fingers in my face. “Time to go? The bell rang.”

I finally came back down to Earth. I saw five pairs of eyes staring at me a little oddly as each of them were in different stages of egress. “You okay dude?” Eric asked.

I felt my face heat up again, a lot worse than it did while Josh and I bantered. “Uh, yeah, fine. I just got a bit dizzy and lightheaded for a second.” It was the truth, but I hope they don’t really press the cause of it – at least not just yet. Both Dad and Conner made me feel hesitant to express my sexuality openly and it didn’t help matters when that… bastard stepped in and almost had me killed at the mall.

Luckily with the rush of getting to our next classes, no one pressed the issue and everyone dispersed in different directions. But as I left, I felt a hand land on my wrist. I nearly jumped when I realized it was only Jess. “Hey, we forgot to mention that Eric’s throwing a birthday party for Ben a couple of weekends from now. Want to come?”

“Sure, you guys are my first friends here,” I said. “I can say that, right? Friends?”

She smiled. “Of course, Xander. Here,” she reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. She handed it to me. “Put your number in and I’ll call you with more details tonight.” I did as she requested. I handed my phone to her as I took a picture of myself with her camera, wanting her to do the same. She did and we swapped phones back. “Oh, and if you can, send me that pic of your eyes. I really liked that picture.” Again, I think I saw her eyes twinkle at me. “See you.” As soon as she turned around, I rolled my eyes slightly. She’s going to be so disappointed when she finds out. Which will be soon… I think.

 

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I was excited for my last class of the day before I got there – Art – but I found the teacher to be really boring and almost mean. I only took it as I needed the prerequisite to move onto the more specific art courses, namely photography. I really love taking photos, evidenced by the camera and lenses that I had in the SUV on our way to the mall last month.

I almost wrote this class off as a napping class, when I felt someone shift in the seat next to me. I slowly turned around and I felt weak in the knees – I was glad I was sitting already.

Mason Jackson sat next to me.

He yawned and stretched, obviously bored with this class too. I let my eyes drift down to his stomach and imagined him with perfects abs, ones I could eat off of. I quickly snapped myself back to reality and turned around as he finished his yawn, hoping he didn’t catch me. I tried to focus on the lecture of rules and procedures – the dead horse receiving its last beating for at least the semester. I rolled my eyes each time the snooty bastard said things like “culture” and “exquisite” while he started mentioning some of the more well-known painters.

“Typical art teacher,” I heard a voice say from behind me. I could even hear the god’s eyes roll as he musically spoke those words. I desperately wanted to turn around, maybe offer a similar comment, but I just couldn’t do it. His voice paralyzed me.

“Class, I’ll start you off a little easy – I need to see the artistic flair each of you possesses. I’m going to pair each of you off and allow the pair to explore the fertile and expressive possibilities for a project of your choosing. This is merely to see what area of art each of you is good at while learning a bit about someone else’s artistic passion.” I nearly jumped at the word “passion”. I hope my Mason didn’t see me flinch. My Mason? Hell, the kid knows nothing about me – and he’s got to be as straight as an arrow! Such a crime, really.

I zoned back to the teacher already pairing off kids. Shit! I hope he didn’t call my name already! “…Buchannan and Rossi, Jarrett and Kline, Jacobs and Jackson…”

NO way… No freaking way! It’s just too perfect! Too convenient! First I find him in my art class after I leaked a river of drool at lunch over him and now he’s my partner for the project?! What, next I’ll find out that’s he really gay and he fell in love with me the second our eyes locked at lunch? I almost laughed at the absurdity of it all!

I felt a hand gently tap my left shoulder. “You Jacobs?” His voice melted my insides and his brief touched sent a bolt of excitement through me straight to my crotch. Slowly, I found myself turning to Mason.

“Y-Yeah.” It took considerable effort to utter that one word as his eyes found mine. There was a small smile on his face. “X-Xander.” Weakly, I held out my hand to him. His smile slowly widened as he firmly shook my hand. His hand felt so smooth, so… perfect in mine. I really struggled to suppress my urge to sigh and to giggle like a school girl.

“Mason, nice to meet you. You must be new to the area. I’ve never seen you around before. Wait, I think I saw you in the cafeteria earlier.”

“Y-Yeah, you did.” Why was I so nervous around Mason? His mere presence silenced me completely, making me feel like a second grader. I felt so awkward and clumsy for the first time. Then again, this is also the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. None of the other boys I’ve watched ever gave me this feeling. I just then realized I still held onto Mason’s hand. Like I touched a hot stove, I quickly extracted my hand from his. All he had was an amused expression on his face.

“So, do you have any ideas for a project? I’m only here so later I can take a more specific art class later. Graphic arts.”

“S-Same. I want t-to take photography next year,” I managed to stutter out a full sentence. I was making progress. Slow, but still progress.

“Cool man, my older sister took photography in high school. She does weddings for some high priced firm in Montpelier. Makes a killing. Hey! How about doing some sort of photo shoot? Either still life or something. I know a bit about using a camera from being around Denise while she learned. You good with a camera?”

“I-I’d like to think so, yeah. I have my own camera, a Canon. I forget the model off the top of my head. Oh, and I have a ton of different lenses. We can use mine... if you want.”

“Nice,” he beamed. “My sister took all the good cameras with her when she split, but that’s okay.” Just then, the final bell rang for the day. “Oh crap… hey, let me see your phone – I’ll give you my number and you can call me more about it. Tonight even, if you want. I’m not busy just yet, but that’ll change soon enough.” He laughed and it rippled through me like a sonic boom, making me feel like jelly on the inside. I dug into my pocket and handed him my phone. “Oh, here – put yours in mine so I know it’s you. I tend to get harassed sometimes since I do things for Student Council – you know, prank calls and shit – so I tend to only answer calls from numbers I recognize.” He slid his Motorola towards me. I picked it up and quickly entered my information and we traded back.

“S-So, you want me to call you tonight?” I asked.

He stood up and shoved everything into his bag quickly. “Yeah, it’d probably be best. In another couple of days, I have to start campaigning for President of the Council. Talk to you later, Xander!” With that, my angel disappeared out the door. I was alone in the room.

I let out a drawn-out sigh.

 

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I leaned into Santa Fe since it wasn’t too hot, clutching my binder to my chest as I stared dreamily into the sky. All the clouds seemed to somehow remind me of Mason. One reminded me of his smile; another one his hair.

I jumped out of my skin when Conner blasted the car horn.

My binder flew out of my hand and almost hit me in the head, but I dodged it in time. Angrily, I grabbed any loose papers that fell out and scooped up my art binder. I pulled open the door to stare at a hysterical brother.

“Conner Ryan!” I screamed. “I could’ve hurt someone when I turned my binder into a huge ass missile!” I jumped into the passenger seat and slammed the car door shut as hard as I could. He still laughed, but it died down considerably.

“I-I’m sorry, Xan, but I had to!” he got out in between giggle fits. “I’ve been waiting for you to stop spacing out for about seven minutes.”

My anger dwindled. “Really? Seven minutes?”

“Yeah,” he sighed as he calmed down. “That’s not counting the travel time from the main doors to the car. I almost set off the panic button just to see what you’d do.”

“I hate you sometimes,” I grumbled. I wanted to get off this topic of him scaring the living shit out of me. “How was your first day?”

“I think it was pretty good,” my brother smiled as he navigated the lot. “I already made like four friends and I think I got propositioned like six times!”

I let out a wolf whistle. “You go boy! The girls here aren’t going to know what hit them!”

“How was your day?” Conner smiled at me mischievously while we sat at a red light. It unnerved me a bit for some reason.

“It was… good,” I started slowly. “I made a good friend in homeroom today as I told you and I met all her friends. Jess is the one in my homeroom and there’s Kat, Eric, Josh, and Benedict.”

“Really? Benedict?” Conner suppressed a few laughs.

“And get this – Jess said his middle name,” I started smiling now.

“No! Don’t say it!” Conner could barely contain it.

“He’s Benedict Arnold Chapman!” I started roaring with laughter. I felt the car pull over and stop as Conner couldn’t hold it any longer and starting punching the steering wheel as he laughed very hard. We both had tears streaming down our faces.

After a few minutes, he resumed for home. “Oh, that’s too awesome.” Conner sighed his giggles away for only a second.

“I did the same thing you did when she said it,” I giggled as well. “He goes by Ben though. He said he’d kick my ass if I called him Benedict.”

“If you do it, you’re on your own, bro.”

We finally pulled into the garage of the house and we both climbed out. I headed straight for the kitchen as I was dying of thirst. I grabbed a cup and filled it with tap water. I started gulping the water.

“So who is he?” I sputtered the water right into my brother’s surprised face. I was both shocked and amused as Conner slowly slid his hand down his face like a squeegee. “Thanks, I really needed that second shower – one wasn’t enough for today.”

“W-What?” I asked, still in a bit of shock.

He dried his face with a nearby towel. “Who is he?” Conner’s smile was huge.

“It’s n-no one,” I mumbled. I fidgeted with the hem of my tee. I felt my face flush again – it was starting to get annoying. I don’t remember a time where I blushed so much.

“You are such a bad liar when you’re smitten,” Conner teased. “It also kills your sarcasm.”

A smile curled to my lips slowly. I sat down at the breakfast bar. Conner ruffled my hair and went to the fridge. He pulled two cans of Dr. Pepper out. He sat one in front of me and opened the other. “H-His name’s Mason…” I sighed. “I saw him in the cafeteria today. You might have too – the kid that barged in really loud right at the end?”

“Oh, so that’s Mason? Looks like he’s a junior.”

“He’s actually a freshman, believe it or not. He was VP for Student Council at the middle school all these kids came from. Lost to Kat in the election, I guess if that’s how they pick the VP.”

“Well, I hope things work out for you in that regard, bro. Just… don’t get too hopeful, you know? I’d hate to see you a week from now bawling your eyes out because you invested too much of your heart only to find out he’s straight.” My brother took a healthy chug of his soda. “Alright, we should practice in the backyard a bit after dinner, when it’s cooler. I think tryouts are next week. But until then, let’s do our homework – if you have any, that is.”

“Only thing I need to do is call Mason,” I smiled.

“Hey, no asking him out just yet. Homework first,” Conner laughed.

“That’s just it – he’s in my art class and we’re working together on a project. That’s really what I meant.”

“Oh?” Conner seemed skeptical. “Did you end up pairing up with him yourself?”

“That’s the best part!” I squealed. “The teacher paired the whole class up and he put me with Mason! Isn’t that so cool?!”

“Alright, alright, I give. Go call him or something.” Conner disappeared with his soda towards the living room. I slid out my phone and stared at the screen. I actually already had a missed call, making me frown a bit. I didn’t feel my phone vibrate at all. I saw it was Jess’s number. I guess I should call her first. I pushed the call button.

“Hello?” a boy’s voice answered.

“Uh, this is Jess Rogers’s cell phone, right?”

He laughed. “Yeah it is, but she’s busy right now trying to kill one of our brothers. Who’s this?”

“I’m Xander–”

“Oh Xander!” the boy chuckled. “It’s me, Josh!” I smiled at the soccer and Warcraft junkie on the other line. “What’s up?”

“Hey Josh! I was just calling Jess because she gave me her cell number, telling me about some party for Ben…?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right! Ben turns fifteen not this Saturday but the next. We’re throwing him a party.” I could hear his smile getting bigger. “So… Jess invited you, huh?”

“Yeah…” I stretched the word out. “Is that a bad thing or something?”

“No, not particularly. But it probably means she has a crush on you. She put me and Eric in charge of inviting some of Ben’s other guy friends while she and Kat took care of the girls. You know, just to make it look like no one was trying to ask anyone out or something.” I mentally laughed and cried at the same time. I was about to say something, when I heard Josh yell away from the phone, “Hey Colin, stop acting like a fag and take your punishment like a man!” I winced audibly when he used that word. “Xan, you okay?”

I ignored his question. I was determined to find out if he has anything against gay people. I was tired of all this hiding – I need someone other than Conner in the area to talk about this with and he seems like a god start. “Josh, why’d you call your brother a fag?”

I could sense Josh’s uneasiness as the silence grew a bit longer than normal. “Oh you heard that?” I grunted that I did, trying to sound neutral with a slight chill to my voice. “I-I really didn’t mean it, really. It’s just something I say sometimes. I really shouldn’t use it, huh? I might get in trouble with the GSA – I mean, Kat’s here and I think the Student Council interacts with the GSA in the school, to make sure events are equal for both straights and gays.” The school has a Gay-Straight Alliance? That’s a good sign in my books. “Why? Did me using f-… that word offend you? You have a sibling that’s gay?” I could hear the apprehension in his voice of possibly angering me.

I decided to go for it. “Well, not a sibling, per se…”

I heard Jess’s phone drop and a “Hey, careful with my phone!” in the background from Jess herself. I sensed he picked up the phone again and he whispered, “Wait… y-you’re gay?”

“That won’t be a problem, will it?” I asked.

“N-No… aw, shit. I bet I pissed you off now…” I could hear the sadness in his voice.

“Josh, it was an accident. It’s okay – I really just used it as a catalyst to see how you were about gay people before I said anything. It’s like when I call something retarded – I really shouldn’t say it but sometimes I do, right?”

He sighed. “Oh man, so you’re not pissed at me? That’s a relief." There was a small pause. "So, I never would’ve figured it out.” He started laughing. He paused as he lowered his voice again. “Oh man, Jess is going to be so disappointed! She wouldn’t shut up about you on the bus ride home.”

“I was afraid of this,” I chuckled. “I think she fell for my eyes.”

“What’s so special about your eyes?”

“I’ll send Jess’s phone a pic that she wanted me to send her. It’ll explain everything. If I forget, remind me or something,” I said. “So now that you know about me, how would the rest of the group take the news?”

“Everyone should be cool about it. Like I said, Jess will be disappointed, but she’ll back you. Kat will too – she hates seeing people getting picked on just because of that. Ben won’t care – he’s the group’s clown and doesn’t really take anything too seriously, but he can be if it really warrants it. Eric… might be the challenge at the table. You see, his older brother is gay and he’s still adjusting to it some. They don’t live together as his brother already graduated from college and he lives with his partner in upper New York somewhere. Eric kind of is a flipped coin on the issue. One minute he’s protecting someone because they’re gay and the next he’s giving them the cold shoulder.”

“I could get Conner to talk to him from one brother to another. It might help him adjust better.”

“That’d actually be pretty cool. Eric hasn’t really talked to his brother in at least a year and I think deep down it’s killing him. They used to be so tight, but now… there’s a huge gap between them.”

“How about tomorrow you pull Eric aside while I get Conner to come with me for a second and I’ll tell Eric about me and introduce him to my straight brother?”

“Okay, I think I can manage that.”

“Just threaten him with talking about Warcraft stuff if he doesn’t cooperate.”

Josh laughed. “You sir are a dirty fighter. I like that!”

“Now that’s settled… are you gay?”

“Sorry, bro. I don’t swing that way,” Josh laughed.

I shrugged. “Worth a shot. I think you’ll make a really good friend first and foremost anyway.”

“Cool – hey, what’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m ugly, don’t you?”

“On the contrary, my straight friend,” I laughed. “You and Jess are both very attractive people.”

“So this is what it feels like to get hit on by a gay guy. Interesting,” Josh mused. I just laughed again. Just then, I heard a struggle over the phone and two people arguing – Jess and Josh I guessed. I heard Josh yell from a bit of distance, “I’ll call you later, Xander!”

“Ugh, Josh is such a girl sometimes,” Jess laughed into the phone. “So Xander, how are you?”

“Good, I had a really good conversation with your brother. He’s really cool. How are you?”

Our conversation centered on Ben’s party and how it’s sort of a surprise party but it really isn’t – someone is bound to let it slip sooner or later. That and, Jess said, Ben doesn’t really surprise very well. His family threw a surprise party for him last year and he just shrugged and sat down, totally nonplussed over the event, her mentioning he even said he didn't know anything about it. That sounded like a big letdown for all the preparation involved. Sounds rather antipodal for someone that’s so comical supposedly.

“Oh hey! Can I ask a favor of you?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Well, the gang all chipped in and got him a really cool gift this year and we wanted to make that the big surprise for the party. Would it be okay if we hid it at your house and you bring it? He won’t suspect you even being there. Just pretend you know nothing about his birthday at all, okay?”

“I think I’m good at hiding things,” I coyly mentioned, seeing if she could pick up on the double meaning. “He won’t ever know I know.”

“Cool! Does your brother drive to school?”

“Yeah, he got Dad’s old SUV when he bought a new SUV after we moved up here. We can get it from your house – I assume that’s where it’s at right now? – and bring it over to my house after school tomorrow.” I paused for a moment, seeing if she still picked up on it, but she said nothing else. “Hey can you either put Josh back on or have him call me? I forgot to tell him something.”

“Sure, I have to start some of the homework I was already given. I’ll have him call you so you can get his number. I’ll see you tomorrow, Xander.” The line went dead. It took about a minute when my cell started to ring again – it was a number similar to Jess’s.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Josh. Jess said you forgot to tell me something?”

“Yeah… about what I told you about me. Can you keep it to yourself until I can tell the others? I want to be the one to let them know.”

“Oh totally. I got you. I know you’re going to tell Eric tomorrow, so I’ll make sure we keep it to ourselves until you’re ready. I’ll beat Eric if he breathes it before you’re ready.”

“Well, I hope it doesn’t come to that, but… thanks. I appreciate the sentiment at least.”

“I have to go, but… care to share who you’re interested in with me?” I swear I heard his brows waggling over the phone. I laughed and my phone beeped, indicating I had another call incoming.

“You’ll have to wait and see, Alliance scum! I have another call, so I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow?”

“You bet. Later.”

Josh hung up and I picked up my next call. “Hello?”

“I figured I’d call you about Art as I need to go later and help my sister with a wedding or something.”

“M-Mason, hey…” I felt the blood rush from my limbs and fill my face.

“So, I was thinking that as of now my weekend is free. How about we get together and take some pictures of stuff or figure out what to shoot?”

“S-Sure,” I said as Conner came into the kitchen again, a crushed Dr. Pepper can in hand. He sunk it into the recycle bin and turned to me. He stopped as he saw me on the phone. He smiled amusedly as he took a seat across from me.

“I think Saturday would be a good day to start and we can meet up Sunday again if we feel we need more shots or stuff.”

“Y-Yeah, sounds good Mason. Here, I’ll text you my address and we can do it here Saturday and maybe take shots around your place Sunday if it’s needed.”

“Change of scenery, I like it. Okay, sounds like a good plan.” He paused for a second. “Xander, you okay? You sound like you’re a little sick or something.”

“N-No! I-I-I’m fine, really. Totally good.”

“Okay,” he said hesitantly. “I hope me running for President isn’t making you weird around me or anything. I get that a lot.” His voice dropped as he spoke, making my heart break.

“No, it’s not that. I think it’s great you’re doing that. I was thinking of joining some club tomorrow if things go okay. I just… have some stuff on my mind is all. So… I guess I’ll see you in Art tomorrow, Mason?”

“Yeah, until then. Good night, Xander.”

“Night.” I hung up my cell and proceeded to liquefy around the stool upon I sat.

“So… was that the Mason kid that’s got my kid brother all in a tizzy?”

I sat bolt upright, forgetting that Conner was in front of me. I felt very florid. “M-Maybe…”

“Aw, that’s cute when you blush, Xan. So, tell me what you do know of him?”

“Really, I don’t know much about him except he was on Student Council and lost to Kat, the one girl I sat with today. And that he wants to take Graphic arts next year. Other than that… not much.” I frowned. I felt a depression settling in. I really didn’t know much about this kid. But I wanted to… I so wanted to! I’d to move the Moon if it’d give me even a small morsel of information.

“Seems like the heart wants what it wants, bro,” Conner said before biting into an apple – he snagged it from the basket on the counter. He swallowed the bite. “Sounds almost like when I first saw Jeanne in my History class last year.”

“Really?” I perked up a bit. “What did you know about her after the first day of meeting her?”

“Not a thing except that she was French – that was a giveaway from the accent. I had absolutely nothing to go off of but that. But it was enough, I guess as you saw me dating her for several months.” He sighed. “I still miss her, you know.”

“I’d be more worried if you didn’t at least a little, Conner,” I said, placing my hand over his. He looked up at me. “You spent a good portion of your life with that girl. You’re going to remember her for the rest of your life.”

Conner shook his head. “When did you become the big brother?”

“It’s a gift I have sometimes,” I smiled. “Hey, my new friends are having a birthday party for one of the guys and I was invited, but Jess wanted to hide Ben’s present here. So I was wondering…”

“Yeah, it’s fine, Xan,” he said as he stood up. He planted a kiss on the top of my head as he went to throw his apple core away. “It’ll give me a chance to meet one of your friends.”

“Actually, two. Josh – he sits at our table – is Jess’s brother.”

“Twins?” Conner asked.

I shrugged. “That or one of them got held back or something. I didn’t really ask. Then again, he could be in a higher grade still – it’s not like lunch is on a ‘per grade’ basis.”

“True,” Conner shrugged as well. “I was just curious. But yeah, it’s cool. I guess you’ll want a ride somewhere this weekend for your Art thing if it’s needed?”

“Yeah, if you’re not busy?”

Conner nodded. “We’ll play that by ear. Dad’ll take you if I can’t, you know that.” He started walking away.

“I told Josh,” I blurted out randomly, causing Conner to come to a complete stop. He about faced and stepped back up to me.

“What?” Conner asked in his patented “you’re probably going to regret it” voice.

“Relax, cripes! I probed a bit before I just told him! I heard him yell across the phone at one of his brothers and Josh called him a fag.”

“Oh, good going Xander,” Conner started to overreact. “Now he’ll–”

“If you’d let me finish!” I shouted over him, silencing him. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me, unhappy. “Anyway, I called him on it and he became defensive about it and he started freaking out that he pissed me off.” I chuckled. “For a moment, he thought you were the gay one in the family.”

“What?” Conner now just seemed completely baffled.

“Again, I told him it wasn’t you and he guessed it was me. So… he knows.” Conner uncrossed his arms. “I know you want me to be careful about this and I’m honoring that part, but I can’t keep it hidden forever, you know? If you want me to be happy… me being me lets me.” I looked down at the counter, feeling for some reason that I was letting Conner and Dad down, but it’s a silly notion. I want to be happy and telling my friends about being gay relieves the pressure of trying to force me into a different mold. I don’t want to base my friendships on being fake or having to hide a large portion of me from them.

Conner lifted my chin with his index finger. “I do want you to be happy, Alex. Never get that twisted. If you’re unhappy, then I am. I just… our protectiveness blinds us to that fact. So… tell the world if it makes you happy. We just want what’s best for you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Thank you,” I whispered into his shirt. I pushed away from my brother. “I also found out that there’s a GSA at the school. They usually work with the Student Councils of each grade when planning events to make it as fair as possible for all orientations. Like dances, I guess. I plan on joining the GSA at some point.”

“If you join, I’ll join,” Conner smiled down at me.

“Are you sure?”

“Well, it is called the Gay-Straight Alliance, right?”

“Oh yeah, I guess there have to be some straight kids in it, duh Xander,” I chastised myself.

“You’re stupid sometimes, you know that?” Conner laughed. “I’m going up to our office. If you need your laptop you better get it now, if you understand me.”

“Oh, I understand quite clearly,” I laughed. “But I don’t need it right now. Just make sure not to hit it, alright?”

“Hit what?” Dad said as he came in from the garage.

“Nothing, Dad,” Conner said as he glared at me. He disappeared up the stairs a few seconds later.

“How was work, Dad?”

“Different. It’s a bit slower here than in Sandusky, but then again, it might be mostly due to my promotion. How was school?”

“Good. We both made some friends today and I already have been invited to the one’s birthday party. He’s turning fifteen next Saturday.”

“Should I be worried?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

“No Dad, it’s not like that. He’s just a friend. Really.”

“Just doing my fatherly duties,” he chuckled.

“I think I’m going to go upstairs and lie down before dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll call you both down in about an hour or so.” I stood up to leave. “And make sure to let Conner know he’ll need to wash his hands before dinner. Twice.” I laughed heartily as I ascended the stairs towards my room.