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How To Recognize a Head Hop Some of you may be asking, what exactly do you mean by a “head hop”. Head hopping is something that many of us have been accused of at one time or another. In this lesson we are going to look at how to recognize a head hop and ways in which to correct it. What is a head hop? A head hop is when you have a chapter or story that is from one characters point of view but you find that you have unintentionally included things such as thoughts of another character. These are things that your main narrating character couldn’t possible know unless they are a mind reader. Perhaps the easiest way to show this is by an example. I have taken this example from my own story, Chance Encounters. The one way that it’s not considered head-hopping is when the story is 3rd Person Omniscient (see POV Lesson 2). The below story is supposed to be 3rd Person Limited. So now we are going to look at what possible corrections could be done. I have shown both the original and what the rewrite COULD be. Head Hop #1: Old: "Not at all, have a seat Simon," Richard answered before nearly kicking himself as he realized that he had slipped up by using Simon's name. New: “Not at all, have a seat Simon.” Richard cringed and motioned to the seat across from him. Simon wondered at the slight tension, but shrugged it off. Head Hop #2: Old: "A couple weeks ago," Richard answered as he avoided meeting Simon's gaze. He hadn't planned on reminding Simon of that night two weeks ago, but once he had slipped up and called Simon by name he didn't know any way around it. It never occurred to him to make up something else, in fact, he didn't know enough about Simon to make up anything plausible. New: “A couple weeks ago.” Richard stared at something behind Simon, not meeting his eyes. Simon glanced over his shoulder but didn’t see anything that would hold the other man’s attention and turned back to Richard. Two weeks ago would have been when he’d gone to the club. Maybe… Head Hope #3: Old: "Not really," Richard answered, purposely not mentioning exactly what had happened. New: “Not really.” Simon felt like Richard was holding something back, but wasn’t sure what it could be. His non answers were beginning to get annoying. He wanted the answers to his questions and he wasn’t about to give up before he got them. Head Hope #4: Old: "I'm not so sure you want to know," Richard answered and was slightly taken aback to see the sparks in Simon's eyes as he rested his elbows earnestly on the table. New: “I’m not so sure you want to know.” Richard took a sip of his drink and stared down at the table. Simon glared at his companion and felt a slight satisfaction when the other man flinched. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. He needed to know even if he was slightly apprehensive about the answer. So, as you can see from the above examples, fixing head hopping can be fairly easy. It can also be very easy to recognize. Simply ask yourself while reading through your work if what you’re reading is something that your main narrator could possibly know. If it’s not, then it’s probably a head hop. Feel free to ask any questions and I will do what I can to answer them.