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Found 3 results

  1. Lately, I've been interested in the psychology of gratitude. As I suffer greatly from depression, I like to try anything that I can to keep those feelings at bay. From what I've been reading, writing down what you're grateful for helps people manage their environment, deal with others, and live in general. So, basically, if you have higher levels of gratitude, your life is better, and in turn, you are more grateful—a neverending spiral of goodness. If you're interested in doing this, it is usually suggested that you write down reasons to be grateful daily. That's a big ask, and it's not as simple as it sounds. Even if you can come up with three every day, is it always the right thing to do? Focusing on the positive can be as destructive as depression. Both feelings are extreme and can put you out of balance. How can we be authentic people if we live at one extreme? No matter how grateful or positive we are, we have to face the fact there are bad days. Days when no matter what we do, we cannot control the actions of others. Yes, we have control over how we deal with things, but is it wrong to be angry sometimes? Sometimes gratitude and being positive doesn't help. On those bad days, feeling real gratitude is nearly impossible and can feel superficial. It's like the anger or frustration you feel isn't justified or real. On those days, I allow myself to be angry or frustrated. In my mind, I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but I accept that right now, today, whatever it is, is just crap. And it's an authentic feeling. And I know this too, shall pass.
  2. As a young child, I was an avid reader and a book hoarder. By the time I was nine, I'd already accumulated over 800 books and counting. My mother allowed me to read whenever and whatever I wanted, which was the best thing she could've done for me growing up. Though my 6th grade teacher had a problem with my reading, "The Color Purple" during class, I continued to read on. I read so much, I decided I wanted to become a writer, one of the many professions I wanted to do growing up in the 80s and 90s. I decide I'm going to write, by creating and developing stories, people wanted to read. Writing about characters who could be anyone you passed on the street, but also not making the character so generic that storylines could be predicted. I told my mother that I wanted to start writing. I honestly thought she was going to laugh in my face. Instead, she dug out her old typewriter and bought my stacks of white paper, along with whiteout. I would tap, tap, tap on that typewriter until all my thoughts were on paper. I'd written about 200 short stories and book over a five-year period from the age of 10 to 15 yrs. old, never letting a soul read what I'd written. Too nervous to hear people's opinion, I guess. It was two years before I wrote again. It was my junior year of high school and my creative writing class was asked to create a short horror story, nothing too long but had to be longer than two pages. Well, I go on to write almost twenty five pages because I'd developed these characters in my mind and knew what I wanted to happen. Everyday in class I would add to this story and my classmates would read the story over my shoulder wondering what I was writing about during the class. When the story was finished, my teacher was so impressed, he wanted to submit my story to a young writer's contest. I was excited. My teacher liked my story so much, he thought I might have a chance at winning in a contest. Then I drummed up all this self-doubt in my gut, I told my teacher not to submit me in the contest and it was the last thing I wrote. I lost my passion for writing and with it, my love for reading. I went on to go to school for broadcast radio and my second love, culinary. I went about my life. If it were for the internet I can honestly say, I wouldn't have started to write again. On the internet, you can be anyone and no one knows. It allows you to seek out avenues you wouldn't necessarily do in person. Gay literature is this avenue for me. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with the gay lifestyle but intrigued. To me relationships are the same for all couples straight, gay, bi-curious or whatever. What any one person in any relationship wants is love and acceptance, without the pressure of being something they are not. I watched my colorful gay TV shows but wondered if there was something more I was missing because most of them seemed one dimensional. I watched youtube.com and watched overseas gay shows and saw so much more depth than what I was getting in the USA. Then I ventured into the gay literature realm. I found it reawakened my thought process for writing but I was still apprehensive. What would I know about being gay and writing about it, I don't. But I do know what I would want in my relationship and it's love. All I have to do is write about two characters who love each other and the rest would come to me. Of course, I would have to do research about certain aspects and hope I portray it accurately. Then I came upon a website a year ago; an author by the name of robcub32 and his amazing story, 'Timber Pack Chronicles'. This is how I wanted my own characters to be in my writing. Loving and faithful, working to try and overcome hurdles in their way. I finished reading all of his stories and was inspired to write one of my own. It was about two months' ago, when I started writing the first chapter of my current story, 'Aaron's Dilemma'. I'd started to write it initially to be a short story but found I couldn't do it. I had to make it longer and more layered. It wasn't until I followed robcub32 (Rob Colton) here to gayauthors.org, when I started to rework my story and post the first chapter online. When I received my first positive feedback and I knew I'd found where I should be. I never thought I would have people like and care about the characters, I'd created. I hope I can take my readers on a journey with them, through their ups and downs, wondering how they themselves would handle any situations my characters find themselves in. I don't think I'll ever be this unbelievably popular writer, but I hope I can garner a few fans, who respect my writing and my stories. As long as they're reading, I'll be writing.
  3. I work at a secondary school. for those of you in the US this means 11 to 16 year olds. not quite high school. Today I overheard one of my year 11 student telling a guy in his year known for being the type who throws his weight around that picking on younger effeminate students made him "look really repressed" And it turns out that even 16 year old teenage boys can admit when their being stupid. I saw him go and apologise to this lovely super-unsure kid in year 9 whose bag he'd thrown across the field. Faith in humanity and the future generation restored. seen.heard.read anything good lately to restore your faith in the world?
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