******* WARNING ******* Do not read if you are offended or triggered by references to suicide.
I know I am dreaming as I lay in this fog. Sounds fade in and out, echoing as I drift away to other places and lands.
I know also time is fleeting and there is very little future ahead of me. This I know to be true. Some truths are self-evident. This is one of those truths. We can deny it, pretend otherwise, wish, rail, scream and beg, but time does not wait. It marches forward and we
Readers for the most part are here to read. Not help us improve. Nothing wrong with that and mostly it's all good. That's the big draw on GA, the interactions with others. It's brilliant. I love the comments readers leave.
But there really is no book or magic beans or contract with the devil which will make you a better writer. So how to improve?
First you need some talent for the written word.
Second and maybe the biggest thing is: Authors have to improve themselves.
Many of us observe the world through a window
Nature entertains us with wind, rain and snow
Crows dive and swoop over tree tops
While squirrels run and gambol with no fear,
— wondering where the nuts are.
My poetry has been limited lately .. but i haven't lost my sense of humour completely yet.
Prose too, is suffering, though in the last few days I've been able to write a bit more on the new story @Wayne Gray and i are writing. Not a lot though, ma
So, i have been home since March 16, 2020.
I think working from home, really brought home to me really how serious this virus is. Yes, i'd read about it and all the deaths in China. Read about people trying to get back to Canada and people stuck on cruise ships. But the Bank doing this huge about face and letting us work from home, really made it real.
The first few weeks i really struggled. i felt lost and afraid. i could feel it in my back and shoulders, in my chest. It felt like som
I work in customer service.
Customer Service. Sometimes it seems we are so bound up in rules, laws, and policies, that we do anything but serve our customers. Most of us there want to, really want to help. Most of us have empathy and care ... even though there are times we want to slap some of them when they are obnoxious and rude.
This week, well yesterday in fact, something happened. Something simple, that made my whole week worthwhile.
Background: We offer a program that let's
I was out with Michael last week, in a local grocery store and while He was looking at poppadoms ... i wandered off.
Wow, i found pickled garlic. Pickled garlic if you've never had it, is a wonderful thing. Delicious with a steak, a good sandwich or served with antipasto or just cold cuts.
But i digress, this store, which has ideas above its station, had small jars of pickled garlic on SALE for $7.99. I mean if there were two full heads of garlic in there i'd be surprised. The
i am grateful for many things in my life. i have been Michael's collared sub for nearly ten years. i am grateful for that. i am grateful for all He does for me and for us.
i am truly grateful. i am not very good at showing that i am. i am not very good at telling Sir that i am.
my rules have become blurred, and lazy and i do things by rote. i am working to correct this.
many subs greet their Dom in the same way ... we kneel and our Dom pulls us close into
The Things They Carried is a wonderful book.
It is a book about the Vietnam war, especially about a group of American soldiers. I've read a few books about the war, and I've always been fascinated about the treatment of those returning. No ticker tape parades for them. Bad things happened in that police action, I know.
This book was written by Tim O'Brien. He himself is written into the story because he was there, yet it is fiction. And I cannot be positive, but I'm sure
Did you know you can be seized with a lethargy? You can, it's an archaic noun, but you can be.
I have been.
Things had been going along great guns for a while. Started taking Natural Calm. Suddenly i was sleeping ... all night ... What a difference not being tired makes. I felt calm, i felt happy. I went to the shrink for my weekly visit. He was happy. A couple of weeks ago he reduced my meds. He said that likely in the New Year we could reduce my visits a lot.
Something happened yesterday that tossed me off the rails for the evening and halfway through the day, today. Well, not off completely but it has made me think - a lot.
i have a tendency to just say things. Often i shouldn't, and things that are to me a joke, are not always taken that way. Especially when it is about something relating to my/ our lifestyle. Most of you who read this blog, or my work know i am a submissive. My Sir, Dom, Husband is Michael.
When i made t
I messed up today. Again. And i spoke to Michael about it, and asked his permission to write this.
For a long time, I'd heard this term: mindfulness. It sounded so much like a catchphrase because everyone was using it. Be mindful.
What the heck does that even mean? Took me a while to figure it out even after I'd looked it up.
Turns out I am pretty bad at it. The Doms in my life tell me so. Sometimes directly, sometimes in other ways. I
I believe you should eat when you are hungry, so not necessarily three meals a day. I don't always eat breakfast. So, today my very dear friend said she was hungry. Tra-la-la ... So eat! Ah, but there is the rub. It was breakfast time and she's at work.
I was a bit growly this morning, snappish, so when she showed me a picture of a package of Instant Oatmeal with maple syrup and brown sugar, I was bitter. I said, get some real food.
While it's better than some things,
I know. I wrote about him last year at this time. He's been gone for nearly two years and frankly I don’t think I'll ever really get over him.
I won't do it again next year.
I didn’t know him as a puppy but Michael did, of course. I’ve seen pictures of him then, more apricot than white. He was a cross breed, yes a mutt, but he was mostly poodle.
I’ve been told he was a cheeky pup, loved to run around, nip (often and hard, my b
I'm back again to talk about diabetes.
Some of you know that a friend of mine just died from sepsis, due to an uncontrolled infection which was a complication of having diabetes. She left a 21 year old son and 25 year old daughter. It's very very sad.
While it sad, it's partly her fault. It hurts me to write that. I don't want to write it.
But she would never try to change her eating habits relying on doses of insulin instead. She refused to stop eating wh
First, i am no expert on diabetes, but i am learning.
During the summer Michael (my Husband) learned he has type2 Diabetes. I'd rather suspected it, and asked a few times that he go to the doctor. He would say, yes later. The symptoms increased (thirst, frequent urination, painful nerve pain in his feet and hands) and i was worried and afraid. i do not raise my voice to Michael, but on this day i did. i was upset and He wasn't hearing me, so i did. He agreed to go and we went togeth
Many of you suffer from depression, like i do.
it's a daily fight, a life filled with cycles of sadness, blackness, like carrying sandbags when it is at it's worst. usually i shut down, don't talk, don't work, the real me is flattened under the living darkness. Michael, my husband, said, as does my shrink, to try writing about it, speaking out, though writing is the last thing i really want to do.
sleep. sleep is what i want to do, only that. But i can't, there is work
Hi all. It's been awhile since i wrote a blog.
I wrote a blog about Christmas last year on Dec. 26th, i was supposed to plan and do and not be stressed this year. How am i doing? Abysmally i think covers it, though i don't feel stressed particularly.
This year the tree is up, so are some other bits and pieces scattered around and even a poinsettia, a traditional red one. However, there are zero presents bought. There is no baking because Michael found out during the su
This contains some descriptions of animal abuse. If you're sensitive you may not want to read on.
I’m reading a book called, Saving Simon by Jon Katz. Simon is a donkey and Jon Katz is a writer. He writes often about dogs.
This is the first thing of his I’ve read. It is sad and horrible, yet uplifting and wondrous.
Simon was abandoned on the farm where he lived. Left in what they thing was a hog pen, with no water or food except for what the small boy who li
We all need it. We all buy it or grow it. This blog is a few of my pet peeves.
Michael my poor dessert-deprived husband needed some pie. So, rather than ask me to bake him one, he bought one. It cost him $2.50. It came in a box. The list of ingredients did include pumpkin, but it also included 20 other ingredients, several i can't spell or pronounce.
This pie tasted disgusting and very chemically. One bite was enough for me. Mike on the other hand ate h
It’s nearly a year since the first animal I ever shared my life and heart with passed. Michael took him to the vet and our sweet dog was released from his pain. I feel some guilt for not having gone, but I couldn’t … not that day.
Ripley was Mike’s dog. His mom gave him Ripley when Michael lived on his own. It was hard for Mike because he was a young constable then, single, and looking after a puppy in addition to a busy life was hard. Luckily he had a good friend that helped.
Some of you may know of my recent passion. Well Michael, writing, poetry- those are given, but this is about food and my latest and possibly most favourite gadget. Not sure if that is a fair name for this machine because it's amazed me from day one. Frankly it's a pressure cooker, a good one, and very safe one, invented or maybe reinvented by a Canadian. I like that, so i put it in here. I am talking about the Instant Pot.
No I'm not a food blogger (okay, i am today) and I bought a
Some of you know I have health issues. I haven't spelt them out because frankly it's boring to hear about people's complaints, especially from people who aren't in your immediate family or circle of friends.
But my doctors have given me a time frame of my life expectancy. I guess I was surprised, but I wasn't either. I've faced death on a few occasions but wow, a time frame is kind of unnerving. It's scary. Michael is .. I don't know what he is .. sad, afraid.. mourning me already? He vows
A little while ago, Cole Matthews offered the following on a status update: This weekend will be slated for reading anthology stories. For the New Year, support your fellow writers.
That really struck a chord with me - For the New Year, support your fellow writers.
What a great resolution. So how many of us do it?
I'm busy, full-time job, full-time husband, part-time writer. I've beta-read for people and invest a lot of time in that - as do many others here. That's part of my respons
Every year. I do the same thing every year but I think this one was the worst. Zero Christmas spirit, the tree never really finished, not a card sent and the ones we received never opened, because of this lack of spirit and preparedness, Christmas Eve Day I spent in the kitchen ... baking, cutting, wrapping, until Michael said, 'Enough!' That was at about 10pm or later, I think. Christmas morning was more of the same. I had boxes to pack, meringues to paint, and we were both stressed before
Some people have asked me why I refer to myself as tim - not Tim. Some have been mightly upset that i do (i have trouble writing I rather than i as well).
Many people accept my choice of lowercase, others not so much. Some refuse to write my name that way, saying i shouldn't do it. Well, i figure it's up to me.
There are reasons i do it, most them have to do with how i see myself, how i see the world and how i fit into it. It also has a lot to do with my lifestyle. I live with a very alp