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Melancholy ... the broken staff of life

A blog by CarlHoliday in Member

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Melancholic words to dampen your spirit

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Page 3 of 18

A Very Schticky Thing To Do

Over the past few days I went back to one of my stories, A Very Schticky Thing To Do, to see if there were any things that needed to be changed and/or clarified, plus find those little typos that always seem to sneak through. It was a fun journey reading through a story that I thoroughly enjoyed writing. When I first went to it I noticed that I left it as on hold. I couldn't remember why that was so. There was only one thing to do about it and that was to give a good read. The chuckles are s

January 27, 2016

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My New Life

I almost called the VA hospital emergency room today, but my son talked me out of it because he definitely wasn't in any mood to take me down to Seattle. I just wanted to talk to the on-call psychiatrist about how I've been feeling. You know, just talk to someone. If I feel bad again tomorrow morning, I will call, just to talk if he/she will go along with it. I'm not bad enough to call the suicide hot line, but sometimes I need to talk to someone and there's only so much Rambo is willing to list

January 24, 2016

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Dulled

Despite having dulled thought processes probably due to the increased dosage of risperidone, life seems to be getting along. I have noticed it's harder to write. The motivation just doesn't seem to be the same as it was. I've started Chapter 4 of the new Hercules III book, but it's going slow. Chapter 3 was relatively easy, so I can only say that it must be the dulling effects I'm getting from the combination of the increased risperidone acting on the divalproex (mood stabilizer). An increase in

January 23, 2016

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Maybe What We Should Do Is Change Your Medications. . . .

Last week the shrink dropped my antidepressant and doubled the dosage of my antipsychotic. And, then, the world as I knew it began to change. I'm sure I'll eventually get used to the extra mg of risperidone, but right now I've experienced an incredible increase in weight, increased tiredness, decreased libido, and to top off everything else Microsoft ended the 30-day restriction I was experiencing with my account due to attempting to change my password, thereby enabling me to finally use my

January 20, 2016

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The G. M. Os., The End

Well, The G. M. Os. has finally come to an end. 26 chapters, a little over 179,000 words. Quite a project. Now all that is waiting is the publishing. Chapter 8 went up today. Chapter 9 is out for proofreading. Frankly, I’m very happy with the story. It was a good mental exercise and kept me sane for two months. Yesterday had a bit of a letdown and almost had to call the suicide hotline. Haven’t had that feeling in over five years, but I know it’s always there. Good thing I’m going to

January 9, 2016

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The G. M. Os., Thoughts

The G. M. Os. has come down to the last chapter. The cycle of the story has come around to a point close to the beginning as far as relationships go. All I have to do now is write it. No, there is no block. It’s just a matter of tidying up and giving any possible continuation of the story a jumping off point. My dreams last night were very troubling. There were images from my childhood and family and friends. The scenes were very different, but they had a familiarity to them that was unsettl

January 6, 2016

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The G. M. Os., Chapter 18

Chapter 18? Yes, Chapter 18. I was trying to come up with what I was going to write next in the next chapter in the Hercules III saga, but I just couldn’t come up with anything logical. There just wasn’t anywhere to go even though I had the outline to go by. So, I thought about where I could go with The G. M. Os. And, then, yesterday it came to me and by five o’clock this afternoon I had completed Chapter 18. Plus, it ended with a cliff hanger, which is extremely rare for me, but seemed appr

December 26, 2015

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The G. M. Os. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The Temple has been published. It's the first chapter of a new protagonist, Li, who is very much into meditation. I was also very much into meditation when I was studying esoteric religion. It was fun and gave me a peaceful attitude in life. Later, when I was very much into evangelical Christianity I went back to meditating on what I was reading. It helped. Of course all of that was long ago, but the memories remain. So, I gave Li a little project. Later in the book, Li will have

December 22, 2015

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Oops!

As luck would have it, I screwed up and tried to accept Microsoft’s offer of OneDrive. What a stupid thing that was. I couldn’t remember my password, and then I couldn’t remember the answers to all of the questions they asked to verify my identity. So they locked me out of my account and now I can’t send out any chapters of The G.M.Os. to get proofed. Plus, I had already sent one out one and was waiting for it to come back. So, I’m stuck for the next while or so. With help from an Admin, I w

December 21, 2015

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Working Title: Contract Lovers

Seems I’m on a creative wave and I don’t want to get off. Wrote the outline—which is something of an exception to my normal writing technique—today, including naming the protagonist (Jacobus or Jac), childhood friends (best friend until death is Laconus or Lac), primary friends, secondary friends, lovers, and lovers under contract. The span of the story will be from age 5 to death at 106. To the best of my chemically fuzzy memory, this will be the first time I’ve tried to write something in

December 17, 2015

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The New Book, The End

Finally! The end has come. The GMOs ends at Chapter 17. There are no more words to add. Difficult chapter, death, evil, marriage, commitment, and children. Pending revisions, the story ends at 112,301 words. Soon, to a computer near you, The GMOs presents a world controlled by robots where humans are treated not much better than cargo as their spaceship heads out into the heavens looking for an acceptable planet for the humans to colonize. There will be crime, prisons, gay id

December 14, 2015

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The New Book, Part 16

Once again things didn’t turn out as planned. I wanted Chapter 16 to deal with the marriage of two characters but that was thwarted by bureaucratic rigamarole. Then, where to go from there? So, my original plan was to add a new character to the current core group in Chapter 17. Well, the way it worked out was that the protagonist from Chapter 1 is the addition. This character brings a whole new set of problems—what would a story be without problems—and as it worked out, he fit perfectly into

December 12, 2015

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The New Book, Part 15

Finished Chapter 15 last night. Good thing I have a great selection of music to listen to because on Tuesday and Wednesday this chapter was difficult to write. Two suicide episodes were just a bit tragic and tough to put down. Then, there was the end to write, which ultimately turned into a surprise, happy event. Nothing like death and sex to get things bubbly. Did a bit of Excel boo-boos on reporting the results of the last chapter. The total word count now equals 97,354 and the projected 2

December 10, 2015

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The New Book, Part 14

Okay! Need a new character? Well, create one. Give him a trade, a living situation, a tragic event, rejection, and finally, the chance for love. Chapter 14 came in at almost 7,000 words, on track to exceed 100,000 words in 20 chapters. But, maybe, I’ll just stop when I hit 100,000. At this point, there is only one, maybe, two characters that are coming to the commune. Definitely one. Haven’t decided on the other. Chapter 15 will deal with suicide and possibly a wedding (or, m

December 8, 2015

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The New Book, Parts 11, 12, And 13

As has oft' been said, “The best laid plans of mice and men . . .” Well, I had plans for Chapters 11, 12, and 13, but things went awry. As often happens with my writing, the characters generally lead the story. So, in this case, Chapters 11, 12, and 13 cover the same characters over a four day period and, since they totaled over 20,000 words, there was only one thing to do, break it into three pieces. As I had it planned two protagonists meet on the first day at a university when they we

December 6, 2015

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The New Book, Part 10

Chapter 10 is in the bag with 6,902 words. Two days, 6,902 words, just a bit too much. I watched an interview quite a while ago of an author who only wrote no more than 1,500 words a day. I’m definitely exceeding that rule, but as I’ve said before, this is a good story with a good set of characters who work well together, sometimes. Chapter 10 is one of those heartwarming stories. This book has a lot of those. Coming up, Chapter 11 will concern a young girl who leaves her boyfriend and goes

November 29, 2015

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The New Book, Part 9

Chapter 9 is in the can at nearly 6,500 words. As luck would have it, Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 are now connected as Part 1 and 2 of the same story with a set of antagonists that in many ways are worse than the established antagonists on the ship. They are a group that is so evil they will go to any possible extent to eliminate those who they consider defective or a threat to their existence. Yes, I play the hate card, again. If this book goes to twenty chapters it’s on course to come in at ov

November 28, 2015

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The New Book, Part 8

Well, Chapter 8 is now in the folder. It needs a few revisions and proofs, but it’s fairly well established as it is. Unfortunately, it came in at over 7,000 words. But, I can’t see any way to stretch it out to 10,000 so I could split it in two. So, I guess I’ll just have to live with a long chapter. One thing about this chapter, though, there is a storyline that can be established for a future chapter. I could’ve done it now, but it would be better to do it later because of the nature of an

November 24, 2015

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The New Book, Part 7

Well, must have been feeling real good today. Wrote and finished the first draft of Chapter 7 all in one day, just over 6,000 words. Of course, it had the protagonist from Chapter 1, so it went rather well. He’s a good character that just has a little trouble with life at the present time. Though, he’s young right now and has a long way to adulthood. Can you imagine being 12, while actually being 173 years-old? This guy has 257 years to live until he’ll be 18 and an adult. My only problem with h

November 20, 2015

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The New Book, Part 6B

Finally finished Chapter 6 today. It’s a long one, over 6,700 words, but I think that was the only way to completely tell the story of a new character who goes from a horrific life to one peace, but full of questions. Sorry about being so vague, but, you know, that’s just the way it goes. The next set of chapters will move up in time allowing each character to come to terms with their existence on Hercules III. The future still looks a bit vague, though. I know where I want to go, but I’m no

November 17, 2015

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The New Book, Part 6A

Chapter 6 is going a bit slower than the first 5 chapters, but I took Wednesday off. Hey, I’m a vet, disabled vet, too; not bragging, just saying. Frankly, I was drunk for most of the 7 years I was in the Air Force. That kind of thing tends to happen when you’re the child of alcoholics; not bragging, just saying. Also, the lack of sleep finally caught up with me. I’ve been averaging 6 hours of sleep and, now, in the last three days have had to take an hour nap in the afternoon (prime writing tim

November 14, 2015

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The New Book, Part 5B

Well, finished Chapter 5 tonight. Another quick one. Two days, 5,621 words. At this rate, the book looks like it’ll come in at over 100,000 words; good size for an amateur writer. Tomorrow, I’ll start Chapter 6, introduce a new character, and move from an agricultural scene to another urban story. Chapter 4 was sort of an urban story, but there was no clear indication where exactly it lay. I suppose it could have been in a small town, but that never came into play. As I see the book prog

November 11, 2015

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The New Book, Part R.1

Revision day on the book. Chapters 1 through 4 received major proofreading, correctioning, and a bit of revising. Major revision was the title of the book. It started out to be GMMOs because at the time I came up with it there was real meaning to the letters, but now I can't remember what the second M is supposed to be, so the book is now titled The GMOs. I'm sure everyone knows what that means. I admit it, I have a problem with tenses. Went through Chapters 1, 2, and 3 looking for 'ings' th

November 9, 2015

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The New Book, Part 4B, And 5

I’ve decided to end Chapter 4 at 4,064 words. I’m sure there will be more with revision, but there just doesn’t seem to be anywhere to go further than when two 11 year-old girls admit not to have feelings toward each other. You just can’t go any further. It’s an important point in life. You have to stop a chapter somewhere and those two came to an end. Well, not totally. They have a full life ahead of them, if the bots or the hazards of living don’t get them first. They will be back in future ch

November 7, 2015

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The New Book, Part 4A

What a day! The neighbor’s Weimaraner got out of its run, again, and was terrorizing the neighborhood. It’s basically a very nice dog, but just a little timid and, of course, dumb as a door nail, but it’ll crap in the most inconvenient place, like our front yard. Rambo was having a total fit whenever he caught sight of the other dog. For two long hours, Rambo ran from one window to the next trying to see where the dog had gotten to, twice knocking over his water bowl. He got so foamy at

November 7, 2015

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