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About this blog

Some organized and some random thoughts

Entries in this blog

3 years on

Where does time go? Apparently the last time I posted on here was more than 3 years ago. I still come to GA pretty much on a daily basis, but I am not as active in the forum or in chat as I once was. Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to recap what's been happening over the past year and have a look at the one ahead.   Most of late 2013 and early 2014 was dedicated to making Jian_Sierra's move to France possible. It has been a long time in the making. There were multiple difficulties to

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A taste of paradise

Long time no blog...   Most people missed my last blog post because it didn't appear in the list of recent posts. That was a side effect of the delayed publication setting... There went another failed attempt at humour.   The highlight of the past two months is obviously my trip to the Philippines and my visit to John. The GA meetup in London was great too, but ... no offence to the nice peeps I saw or met there ... it could hardly compare.   So let's rewind to early August. The stakes w

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First date: how far am I willing to go?

We all have heard about and pondered —or maybe later regretted not pondering enough— the traditional question: How far should one go on a first date?   You know... the awkward first date, when you want to show the guy that you like him without appearing too forward / clingy / horny. You want to find the right balance that will demonstrate both interest and respect, that will keep him focused on you while leaving all options open on the scale of "How about another date one of these days?" to "W

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A look back at the past year

I thought today would be a good time to look at the past year. I came out to my parents exactly a year ago. So, even though I had previously come out to a handful of friends (including my future wife) in 1995, I take this date as a major step towards switching from the straight lifestyle I had maintained up to that point.   Overall this new episode in my personal life feels quite good. By this, I mean that I am happy with how I have changed over the past year and a half, acknowledging the g

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Failures and victories

The past few weeks have been full of contrasted events.   In the list of failures I have to include my last marathon race. This time, I wasn't able to train as well as I did last year because my ankle never fully recovered from last summer's fracture. I only managed to run about 45 to 50km a week instead of the 60-70 I should have done. Despite that, I thought I would be able to finish it. Well, I had to give up around mile 18. It's the first time I can't complete a marathon. I made mist

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Happiness, episode 2... and some thoughts on History

Happy, elated even, best describes how I have been feeling for the past few weeks.   My last blog post is only just over two weeks old, but enough stuff has been happening to warrant an update, so here it is: happiness has quietly settled down and decided to make its nest in my heart. It has grown, reinforced by daily communication and new discoveries. John and I have decided to keep trying to know each other better. So... it's still very early days... but we're doing good, I think.   We

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Unexpected happiness

Blue sky shows up when you least expect it.   I will admit that my last blog entry was a little dejected. I don't tend to fall for the first cute face I see on the street, or the first guy I meet. Between July last year and this March I used the services of a dating site. In all, I met 4 guys. For various reasons which I won't get into here, two relationships blossomed and quickly died. I was very drawn to a third guy (although I never got to really know him), but he wasn't feeling the same to

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Ouch

No need to sound so amazed. I don't have an exceptional memory. I just remember what we talked about last time we chatted even though it was 5 months ago. Of course I paid attention to what you like, to what your interests are, to what we have in common, to what is dear to both of us. That's what I do when I have a crush on someone. I'm stupid like that.   You obviously don't feel the same. I guess I should have known when you said I wasn't really your type but that there was no harm in

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How do you know if a relationship will work?

I'm really in a mind to not try getting a boyfriend for a while. Dating is such a confusing affair!   So far this year, I dated this one guy, whom I met over a dating website. I don't multidate, like some people do. I like to concentrate on one objective, and I do trust that the other guy is doing the same.   We had many things in common, never ran out of conversation, have pretty similar outlooks on life. The fact that we are both bi-lingual French-English was a definite plus.   After

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Being openly gay... or not

I've been wondering lately if I am really ready to live openly as a gay man. Or rather, to what degree...   As a matter of principle, I refuse to hide. I never needed to while I was in a straight relationship, and I shouldn't have to now....   Well, principles and reality sometimes conflict.   I am generally discrete and usually go unnoticed in the street. The guy I dated in September/October (whom I mentioned in my last post) was very discrete. When we were together in public you could

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Dating

Almost three months since my last entry already! Quite a bit has happened.   I was on GA a lot over the summer, since I spent three weeks in a cast and was stuck at my parents't house with no means to drive back home. I ended up coming out to my parents at that time. It was hard on them, but not dramatic, and was probably made easier by the fact that I came out as bisexual. They keep hoping I'll end up marrying again even though I made it clear that I wasn't going to date women right now.  

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Virtual life and real expectations

I'm being slightly unfaithful to GA. Or rather, I'm broadening my rainbow horizon beyond GA. Just to recap, GA was the first gay site that I started to visit regularly a few months ago. Various messages on the boards prompted me to come out to a few friends and family members, but I'm still mostly in the closet.   Things are moving along though... in my mind, at least, and I'm growing incredibly impatient about meeting someone. It might seem strange, since it took me months to figure out wha

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love vs. lust

Going down the gay road: stage 3.   I had a long phone conversation with my best friend from junior high two nights ago. Over the years we have drifted apart and it was a little awkward at first because we had barely exchanged more than a few words for the past 15 years. It's only in the last year that we've been in contact again, thanks to Facebook.   Anyway, he's one of a small number of openly gay guys I know in real life that I feel comfortable talking to about my coming out and more ge

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Overcompensating

So, as planned in my last post, I did come out to my siblings over the Easter week-end, while we were all together with their respective spouse and children. Everyone proved really supportive and understanding.   It was apparently a big surprise for my brothers, until they realised that some of my past started to make much more sense seen in this light. Not so much of a surprise for my sister, because of things I had hinted at in the now distant past. And also because she's now very close to

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Life changes

I have decided to open this blog because I am no longer the person I was a month ago, and I need a place where I can chart my journey into self-(re)discovery. I have been keeping another friends-only blog elsewhere for 4 years but don't feel like going into too much detail in it. Some stuff might just be TMI there, while it would find its natural place here.   So here goes the background info about myself, pretty much copied and modified from my About me page: I started accepting myself as gay

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